Chapter 15
“Mac.”
The way Ember says my name as she struggles in my grasp doesn’t take those vile voices out of my head. The same voices that rang in my head in Riviera’s class.
The same voices that say to make her mine.
“Mac, you’re hurting me,” she whines, my grip tight on her wrist but I hardly hear her. I’m too focused on my fuck up.
I needed to show her my power. I needed to regain it.
Keep telling yourself that.
“Mac,” she cries again, both of us covered in drying paint as we walk through the quiet university halls.
We may as well be covered in blood with what Greta saw.
How could I be so fucking stupid?
Ember wriggles her wrist, stumbling over those outdated Oxfords but I’m not letting her go. The stakes are too high.
“We need to find her,” she says. I can hear the panic in her voice. It matches the panic inside me but I’m not allowing my mistakes to fuck with my future. Tonight’s opening game is my priority. I need to show Coach and my team that I still have it. No matter what this Valley Vermin did to me.
The Valley Vermin you keep fucking.
Destroy. I want to destroy her. I can’t forget that.
“Mac, are you fucking listening to me?”
My jaw tightens. I need her to shut the fuck up and calm the fuck down. Pulling her through the polished doors to the locker room, I check for anyone inside. I’m relieved when I confirm it’s empty.
She keeps calling my name as I drag her through the lounge, past my name-plated locker and into the marble-floored showers.
“Wait, is this a locker room or a hotel?” Our surroundings distract her enough for me to push her into one of the frosted glass shower stalls. “Wait, no.” Ember tries to push around me but I’m too wide for her to fit through. One shove makes her fall against the glass as I pull the door closed behind me.
“Stay there,” I demand, reaching for the golden handle. Water streams over us, her shoulders falling as the marble tile turns into a rainbow, colours swirling down the drain.
“Are you gonna talk to me?” she asks.
My hands fall on either side of her as I let the warm water pour over my hair. It’s soothing, but I can”t escape the smell of her. Water streams down my face as I open my eyes to her bloodstones. Her brows tense as she nibbles her lip. Her clothes stick to her body like when I brought her out the lake.
“What are we gonna do, Mac?”
“We’ll take care of it.” Her brows settle as she searches my eyes. If she thinks I’m some beacon of hope, she’s mistaken. “I’ll take care of it.” Something falls from her eye, and I can’t tell if it’s water or tears. There’s also a smudge of red paint on her cheek, making it hard to focus. With my thumb, I wipe it off, her cheeks hotter than the water. Being alone with Ember in a shower stall is a bad move, but no one can hear us with the running water. And this way, I know she’s not going anywhere.
“Hey, Mac…”
I also can’t ignore whatever stupid question she’s about to ask. “What?”
“Did we just?—”
“I need to focus on tonight’s game.” After turning the shower off, I move towards the door. “Thanks to you, it’s my first time back.”
“But what about?—”
“Nothing.” With one hand on the door, I push it open. “It was nothing.”
It can never be. And it’s staying that way.
Ember
“This is getting ridiculous,”Hannah says.
“You’re telling me,” I mutter.
She stands in front of me, blocking the entrance to the rink. “You really think we allow your type at our games?” Her hands come to her hips in a grey and gold two-piece outfit. It looks like something from Bring It On. A crop-top and pleated skirt. I didn’t think SBU had cheerleaders. “Cute, but think again, Vermin.”
A crowd starts to form around us in the rink lobby and… this isn’t worth it. I already stand out dressed in whatever I could find. An oversized Saint Bons hoodie from the lost and found paired with my cutoffs.
Hannah eyes my matching beanie, my coils stuffed under it. Everyone else looks ready for a fancy dinner. Suits. Dresses. Hell, even Hannah towers over me in heels. “Go away,” she says, a line forming behind me. Her posse joins her by her side, making a barricade.
I don’t even know why I’m here. Because Mac told me to? Time alone is what I need to process everything. Especially after what happened in that class. I’m still whiplashed by the way he cared for me, then stripped it all away with three words.
“It was nothing.”
Mac’s voice rings in my head and I don’t know why it makes my stomach sink. He’s right. We can’t be anything. Ever. He’s the enemy. Always will be.
“Suit yourself,” I say with a shrug.
“Just a moment.” A smooth voice comes from behind me. Turning around, I’m face-to-face with one of the Crowns. Gray. His hands come to my shoulders, spinning me back to Hannah. “Tough titties, Hannah. She’s with me.”
“As if. First Mac, now you?” Hannah scrunches her nose. “We’re not letting that in here. She’s a criminal.” She leans back as if she’s speaking to her friends but everyone can hear her loud voice. “Hide your gold, ladies! There’s vermin amongst us.”
Whispers erupt around me and this time it isn’t just students. Parents and other Paradise Hill residents add an extra layer of humiliation to Hannah’s protest.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” Hannah turns her glare to Gray. “Shouldn’t you be on the ice? Not trying for an easy lay?”
“Easy lay?” His deep voice comes with the same confidence most people in The Hill have. “You know all about being easy, don’t you, Alfonso?” Gray standing up for me tempers my anger as Hannah’s face reddens.
“Insult me all you want,” she says. “You’re the one that has to deal with the rot between her legs.”
“Fuck you, Hannah,” I spit. “I really don’t need this shit.”
“Don’t.” Gray stops me from walking away. “Mac wants you here.” His arm wraps around me, my shoulders rising as the smell of sweet cologne enters my nose. “So you’ll stay. And Hannah’s jealous ass will deal with it.” He’s nicer than Mac but his words are still threatening.
Hannah blinks. “Why on earth would Mac want her here? She’s nothing but a Valley whore parading around like she belongs. You’ll never belong.”
“Didn’t think I’d have to do this.” Gray leans forward and whispers something in Hannah’s ear before the colour drains from her face. “Sound good?” he asks, stepping back. His confidence oozes off him as effortless as his appearance. A beige collared shirt unbuttoned above his linen slacks reveals every bit of his chiselled abs. It somehow compliments that head of white hair that I can’t tell is natural.
Hannah finally steps out of our way, but not without another comment. “Careful, Gray,” she calls. “You’ll be next.”
“Ignore her,” Gray escorts me through the crowd parting for him. “She’s the OG hater. Great head game though.”
“Ew,” I wince, pushing the image from my mind.
The rink is a different place when it’s packed. The stands are already filled beneath the mural I’ve worked on and a small smile tugs at my face when I look at it. Painting this mural forced me to look at the beauty of Paradise Hill, its features on display. B-I-S-O-N-S sits in the middle in gold while forests, lakes and iconic statues surround it. I’ve included the team medals, even the one the dean accused me of stealing.
Who knew a poor girl from Grim Valley could leave a stamp like this?
“Come on,” Gray leads me further into the stands, the energy in the rink electric with the crowd abuzz. It’s not even as cold with the amount of people in here. Gray and gold signs litter the seats, the ice glistening under coloured lights. Pop music blares from the rink speakers, the smell of popcorn and hot dogs in the air. It’s an all-out party.
“So why aren’t you on the ice tonight?” I ask.
“Failed the drug test so Coach sat me out.” He keeps his arm around me as he nods to students, winking at the girls who gawk at him and glare at me. “So tonight, I’m your guardian angel.” Even Greta made it to the game with a group of her friends. She tries for a small wave but stalls, her eyes narrowing when they move to Gray.
It’s a long way back to the rink doors and there’s no way I’m giving Hannah the satisfaction of leaving now.
Stubborn.
Resilient.
While hanging with the enemy?
Trying to battle the voices in my head is hard, and looking around makes me feel like I’m kidding myself. Despite the thrill in the air, it”s still easy to see the glares that come my way.
“What is she doing here?”
“You think she fucked Mac to get in?”
“Is she fucking Gray?”
“There’s nowhere to sit,” I say to Gray. “I should go.”
Gray turns around, blinking at me with glossy eyes. Then he laughs as if something clicks. “You don’t have to worry about that.” He keeps moving down to an empty row behind the penalty box. The row looks reserved while everywhere else is full. It”s empty save for a few people. Another handsome guy sits between two girls from the Posse, both fawning over the tattoos spiralling up and down his muscular arms. “You’re sitting with us.”
“Are we at a hockey game or a supper club?”
Gray laughs, settling into his seat. “Yes.” He pulls me next to him as the other girls glare. The other boy nods his head towards me. A greeting. I force a smile before he holds out his flask as an offering. But it’s too late to respond as the lights go down and the crowd goes wild.
“Ladies and Gentlemen.”The announcer’s voice booms over the arena as I settle into the cushy seat. “Tonight is the night you’ve all been waiting for. Please welcome our Bonaventure Bisons back to the rink again!” The crowd goes wild, a drink popping in front of my eyes. An opened beer. Gray nudges me, telling me to take it. I do as the announcer continues. “Welcome back to the team, our Paradise star, Malcolm McKinsley!”
The crowd roars as Mac glides onto the ice, his stick hoisted in the air. Gray whistles next to me but I’m too distracted seeing Mac in his element. He doesn’t look like the aggressive asshole I know. Far less stoic too. He seems loose. Vibrant.
Alive.
Mac’s eyes find mine before he lifts both hands in the air, the crowd around us like thunder and he’s their god.
Gray taps his beer to mine. “This is gonna be good.”