Steffi
I feel a bit hysterical. Maybe it’s the heat, but my brain is just letting it all out, telling everyone how I really feel. I feel almost victorious as I look at Nicki, cradling her bump, her face more sneer than actual face as I finally get to say how I feel. I’m so done with their judgement. It means nothing about my personality, or my levels of caring, that I don’t want to have children. Currently I’m more maternal than bloody Lauren, who is now crying as hard as her baby. I’d feel sorry for her if she hadn’t been screaming abuse at me. I honestly don’t know who this wreck of a woman is. If this is what having a baby does to you, I’ve definitely made the right choice.
Charlotte steps forward into our bullring and I stand straighter, preparing for further attack. I’ve ruined her perfect baby shower. I’m selfish and I’m awful . . . but, instead, she turns to Nicki.
‘Nicki’s got a lot to say today, hasn’t she?’ Charlotte’s eyes are squinting into currants. It looks like she’s been crying. In fact, all of us appear to have been crying. ‘I overheard you too just now, bitching about me with Phoebe, calling me basic. You were taking the piss out of today.’
‘Charlotte, I’m sorry. I said I’m sorry.’
‘So, I’m extra? So what? You know that about me. I’ve always been like this. To ridicule me, when I’ve worked so hard to make today perfect. To give you this surprise.’
Nicki lets out a sigh. ‘I said I’m sorry Charlotte, OK? But come on. Please. Let’s all be honest here. Today wasn’t about me. It was never for me. It’s all for you. Sorry to be the bitch who says it, but you’ve been using me today. To have the baby shower you can’t—’ We all gasp. Charlotte actually takes a step back.
‘Did you honestly just say that out loud?’ I ask.
‘Come on, . You think it too. We’ve all been thinking it.’
‘Nicki, I think you’ve said enough today,’ I warn her.
‘Oh yeah, yeah. It’s not like you’d listen to me anymore anyway, as I’m one of those bores who drone on about having a baby. It’s obviously so beneath you , this hugely important thing people do. I mean, my children are going to be paying taxes so someone can wipe your arse in the care home, but you’re upset because a baby might be noisy in your restaurant . . . then you wonder why men think you’re selfish . . .’
‘Oh, shut up,’ Charlotte screams, so loudly even Woody’s momentarily silenced. ‘All of you just shut up.’