So You Want a #BOOKBOYFRIEND? (Love Canyon: Blind Date with a #BOOKBOYFRIEND)

Chapter 2

Meredith

“ Y ou can’t tell me he isn’t the sweetest thing ever!”

I raised my glass at Andrea, a mom of three who sat on my left, who clinked hers against mine in solidarity. “Amen, sister!”

“Pshaw. The man’s a billionaire, and standing outside her window? Please, there are other ways to stalk a girl.” My Aunt Marie snorted, with a glimmer in her eye that told me just how my Uncle might be sneaking outside-as long as no one else was home.

The small indie bookstore in town agreed to host book club after Nana generously donated to the remodel. The owner, Tanith, had lamented it over coffee one day when Nan just happened to be being her usual nosy self. With the grand unveiling only a week away, book club had the honor of being the first to use the new reading and lounging area, affectionately renamed the ‘ Book Boyfriend Lounge ’ in the back of the space.

Comfy chairs interspersed with couches that molded to your body the way you wished a book boyfriend would, but didn’t get clingy or piss you off the way some men did. A fireplace that turned on with a flick of a wrist added to the cozy vibe, though Love Canyon rarely went below seventy degrees during the day. Still, in January and February, the nights dipped into the forties, so a little extra warmth didn’t hurt...

Not to mention the adorable bar area, perfect for when events like book club took over the space. Drinking out of a bottle was all fine and fun in high school, but book club required a little bit of class when the ages of readers ranged from twenty-two to eighty-four.

And at eighty-four, Clara Holdenbrand, was the most vocal of the bunch this evening, while our youngest attendee, Tessa Arndt, quietly watched everyone while primly sipping away.

“Money doesn’t imply class, Marie. Nor does it imply thinking with the correct head,” Clara quipped as the group exploded with laughter.

Maybe wine and a spicy book were a good idea after all, if the way these ladies were reacting, throwing out responses like it was a bachelorette party and they had to keep the vibes going. “Who says he’s thinking at all? Maybe it’s all animal instinct.” I threw out.

“Now that would be a primal kink,” Clara interjected.

“Clara!”

She only grinned. “Now, Marie, you know I do my homework, and decided to look up all the buzz words I didn’t recognize before we met. Spicy books have more than just sex. The kinks all relate to trauma or how you were raised–or even your psychological profile.”

Tanith muttered, “Or how long it’s been since you got some.”

I nudged her with my elbow. “Tanith!” Laughter escaped me before I could help myself.

“Listen, when it’s just you and good old B.O.B., you get a little edgy, added to which I’m surrounded by hundreds of romance novels at any given moment,” she shrugged and downed her wine, cheeks flushed.

I leaned over and whispered as the ladies continued the kink explanation conversation that had suddenly taken over the room. “B.O.B. will never make you cry, or lie when he says he loves you.”

“Amen.” We cheered and both drank. “But, sometimes, I miss having someone else do the work.”

I snorted. “And be disappointed? All over again? No thanks.”

“Come on, imagine if we could pick out the guy, and magically it would be fireworks, just like in a romance novel.” Her eyes sparkled, either from the wine, or the fact that she was a hopeless romantic who opened an exclusively romance bookstore. Which happened to be next to an axe throwing place that also held, no joke,a weekly chess tournament. Welcome to Love Canyon, where the residents’ ages ranged so much that almost every place in town had a quirky side to appeal to everyone.

“Oh, no. I’ve done enough screwing up on my own when I picked out potential dates. I obviously cannot be trusted to know what I really want in a man, because I tend to ignore all the red flags! Like, is he dropping into multiple girls’ DMs because his words are just so fucking perfect he probably practiced them in front of a mirror? Or fucking cuts and pastes from a doc on his phone every time to see who he can lure into his web of lies.” With a frustrated growl, I grabbed the nearest bottle with great flourish and refilled both our glasses. “And therefore, no, I can no longer be trusted with my love life.”

Tanith groaned as she raised her glass. “Same. I just want a book boyfriend. But someone else should find him for me since I get in my own way all the damn time. However, I do know what I like in a book boyfriend.”

Tessa scooted closer as the conversation continued, and said in a low tone. “I know I like several book boyfriends,” she added primly as she drained her glass and held it out for a refill. “Sorry, I was totally eavesdropping.”

“Tessa Lyndale! I knew you were a closet why choose girl!”

Tanith waved her hand. “Why have just one when your mood might change, or they piss you off because they’re being a dick.”

“Amen!” Tessa raised her glass with a mischievous grin.

I threw back my head and laughed. “I underestimated you, Tessa!”

She crossed her legs and squared her shoulders, then took a sip. “Most people do.”

“I think we’re on to something here,” Tanith giggled. She gestured, hand wagging at the bookshelves that lined the walls. “I should do a blind date with a book boyfriend, you know, you pick the book boyfriend, like-”

“Billionaire stalker!” I chimed in.

“And then I pick a book with your book boyfriend in it, wrap it up, and bam! Instant and easy blind date.” She smiled triumphantly and sank back into the oversized chair.

Andrea, who had somehow started listening in at some point of the conversation. “And with a bottle of wine-”

“Or tea, if they don’t drink,” I added, because while I loved my wine, not everyone did. And that was fine. Hell, sometimes, and I could admit it, I even liked tea better. Unless Declan Carter decided he was going to be an overbearing asshole. Then, I spiked my tea. Spitefully so.

Tessa nodded, eyes bright with excitement.

“I think that’s an amazing idea, Tanith,” Nana said as she made her way over, stepping over the piles of pillows and navigating wine glasses precariously perched on knees, tables, and the floor. She made a shooing motion, and sat next to me. “You should do one of those forms and have a list of book boyfriends that they can pick and choose from, along with tropes.”

“What, the conversation over there,” I motioned with my empty glass, “not stimulating enough?”

Nan scoffed. “Meredith, I have heard all about Clara’s sexual exploits, before and after her marriage, then after again, for over fifty years. Now this,” her eyes danced, “I want to know more about.”

“What? Book boyfriends?” I asked wryly, since she knew damn well what they were if her texts last night about Delena Bennett’s masked billionaire stalker to me at eleven were any indication.

“Of course! How can I offer my expertise and do themed nights at book club if I don’t have all the knowledge needed?” She patted my hand, and that’s when I knew. I narrowed my eyes at her, and swore I glimpsed the wheels turning in that devious head of hers. “Plus, I can help Tanith by sponsoring it.”

“What are you really up to, Nan?”

I caught snippets of words and phrases that should’ve made most of these women blush furiously (I mean, pet play? Or rope bunny?) However, either the wine, Delena’s Cinnastalker Billionaire , or the ambiance of the room made a safe space where they were all finally having fun again. And loudly, with giggles and comparisons between kinks And wait, handcuffs?

She blinked innocently, all lies and wisdom and scheming ideas. “My dear, you know I have a philanthropic need to fulfill since my second husband left me a trust to spend on ‘endeavors I find fruitful and mindful to the pursuit of romance’,” she gestured around at the remodeled bookstore. “And this is precisely the thing to utilize the old pain-in-the-ass’ money so he rolls over in his grave. Girls, keep the never-wants-to-grow-up book boyfriend out of your wishes and tropes. They’re fun for a little while, then they have a heart attack while boinking their nurse. Alas, at least I have a fun way to spend his fortune now than before. Those movie nights died out after they decided to show that one movie the girl didn’t end up with Sebastian Stan.”

Tanith’s eyes widened. “You really want to sponsor Blind Date with a #BOOKBOYFRIEND ?’

“Oh, my dear, I think that’s the perfect name,” she exclaimed with a twinkle in her eye. “And just imagine all the spicy fun we will get up to?”

“Watch out, Tanith, Nan always has more up her sleeve than she lets on.”

“Oh my dear, but what a marvelous time it will be!”