Some Cowboys Brave the Flames (Keagans of Copper Creek #10)

Chapter 23

23

Ash

B right red and yellow flames clung to every surface of the building. The black smoke was such a contrast to the light they emitted. The heat seared through Ash’s uniform as if he wasn’t wearing any protective gear at all.

There were shouts from other firefighters around him, but he couldn’t make out any words. The house creaked overhead and Ash glanced upward, his chest tightening with fear. A beam could fall. It’d be just like the tree that had crushed Marcus. He had to be careful. If not for him, then for Charlie.

A scream erupted from another room, and he spun around toward it. The house was familiar. He’d been here before. Ash moved through what could only be the living room, and the scream pierced the room again. It rose above the crackling of the fire, the shattering of glass.

He whirled toward it, and that’s when he recognized the house. How many times had he walked through that archway into the kitchen? How many times had he looked forward to seeing her?

Without thinking, he charged for the doorway, but the ceiling overhead collapsed. He lifted an arm to block the explosion of embers and sparks.

“Ash!” she screamed again. A shadowed figure moved through the kitchen. He wanted to yell out her name, to tell her to escape through the door that led to the backyard. But his throat closed up. Another crash of something behind him had him jumping out of his skin.

Ash sat up in his bed, sweat pouring from his body. His T-shirt clung to his shaking frame, and he groaned as the oncoming headache hit him with full force.

It was dark in his bedroom, with no sign of the morning over the horizon. It’d been two weeks since Charlie had walked away from him, leaving him in that hospital bed.

The chief had insisted Ash take a few weeks to regroup. And he didn’t want Ash jumping for at least a month. That led to a lot more downtime than Ash was willing to have.

He spent most of his days pacing his apartment, not able to focus on even the most interesting shows that television had to offer. The gym wasn’t cutting it, and he could only run so many loops around the track at the park.

He shoved his blanket from the bed and swung his legs over the side. Putting his head in his hands, he went over the familiar nightmare. No matter how many times he had it, the outcome was always the same. He didn’t realize it was Charlie’s home until it was too late, and he never got her out of there.

No resolutions.

Ash didn’t like the idea of Charlie dealing with similar fears. Was this what she’d been referring to when she said she couldn’t sleep? No. He wouldn’t accept that.

He got to his feet and wandered through the darkened house.

Two weeks ago, Charlie had done the unthinkable. She’d spoken to him calmly and made a request—one she’d promised she’d never ask of him. He’d been in shock for a good hour after she left. Mason had stayed with him, not speaking—just… watching him.

Eventually, Ash told him to leave. He didn’t want Mason’s pity. Besides, he got the feeling that Mason would have sided with Charlie anyway.

No one came to visit in the handful of days he had to stay at the hospital. His parents did call him, but when he assured them he was fine, they left it at that.

Now he felt alone.

Utterly alone.

Ash stopped his pacing and moved to the window. He stared out at the parking lot for a moment, not seeing. His mind shifted to that moment in the hospital room when he’d realized everything would change. It felt so final and yet not. He couldn’t shake the feeling that their story wasn’t over yet.

Maybe what he needed to do was show Charlie that he was strong. He hadn’t been able to fight for her while in the hospital bed, hooked up to oxygen. He couldn’t convince her that he was going to come out of this better than before when all she could see was his weaknesses.

What he needed to do was convince her. He had to do something. He couldn’t just let her walk away. Perhaps he was in denial. His friends would likely tell him as much. But they didn’t know him. They couldn’t see what he’d overcome over the last six years while he’d waited for his moment with her.

If he had to wait another six years, he would.

Except there was a problem with that. He couldn’t control Charlie. Her stubbornness could be adorable at times, but at others, it was hard as stone.

Still, he knew he couldn’t just let it go like this.

“No. You can’t be here.” Mason came out of the house as if he’d been waiting for Ash to show up. He pointed at Ash’s truck as he hurried down the steps. “You can’t come around here and talk to her.”

Ash’s steps faltered, and he glanced at the house with confusion “What do you mean? I can’t come around here anymore?”

Mason shook his head. “You can’t be here,” he repeated. “You should go.”

Ash chanced another look at the house, finding Daniel emerging. The largest of all the Keagan men folded his arms and stared hard at Ash. If Mason was a buffer between the two, Ash wouldn’t have been surprised if Daniel was finally willing to make good on his threats. Ash’s jaw tightened as he brought his focus to Mason expectantly.

“Look, I get that you think you can just waltz over here and try to fix things, but it’s not going to happen. It’s over, Ash.”

“No, it’s not,” he argued. “The last time we spoke, emotions were high. I was in a hospital bed. She probably hadn’t gotten much sleep?—”

“Because of you.” Mason sighed. “It’s not going to work. She’s finally coming to terms with the decisions both of you have made.” He gave Ash a pointed glare when he emphasized the words.

“You know as well as I do that making important decisions like this one shouldn’t happen under duress. She needed time to think. I gave her some. Now would be a good time to just… talk.” Ash couldn’t help but shift his focus to the house. If he wasn’t mistaken, he might have thought he saw the drapes shift in the front window. They had an audience. It might have been Charlie, but then again, it could have been anyone else who lived there. “Just let me talk to her,” Ash pleaded. “I need to tell her something.”

“Unless it’s about finding another job, you don’t need to say anything to her,” Mason said.

Ash frowned. “She still wanted to be friends.”

Mason snorted, and Daniel shifted where he stood, moving to block the doorway as he folded his arms.

Ash exhaled sharply and turned his focus to him. “What do you think I’m going to do? Rush you? I just want to talk, Daniel.”

No response.

Frustration burned through him. He wasn’t going to let this end here. He started toward the porch steps, but Mason’s grip clamped onto his arm.

“I’m not going to ask you again, Ash. Right now isn’t a good time. You need to let her come to you.”

Ash met his friend’s steady gaze, hating the desperation he knew Mason could read in his eyes. “I just want to talk.”

“Not gonna happen,” Daniel said, voice firm.

Ash’s jaw tightened. “You can’t stop me. I’ll come every single day until she tells me not to.”

Mason’s grip held firm. Ash glanced to the side, weighing his options. If he could get past them, maybe?—

No. He wasn’t going to fight them. These were Charlie’s brothers. They were just looking out for her.

He took a steadying breath and made a split-second decision. Without warning, he twisted free of Mason’s grip and took off down the porch steps, veering around the side of the house before either of them could stop him. A sharp curse rang out behind him, but Ash didn’t slow. He rounded the back corner, his boots kicking up dust, his heart pounding harder than it had in any wildfire he’d jumped into.

He reached the back steps in a rush and grabbed the door handle, yanking it open.

Charlie gasped, a hand flying to her chest. She stood at the counter in the middle of rolling out what could only be cookie dough. Her hands and apron were covered in flour. Her hair had been pulled up by a clip, a few loose strands framing her face.

For a split second, he caught a glimpse of what his future could be.

Momentarily dazed by the vision of it, Ash took a step toward her.

Her eyes found his, and for a moment he wondered if she was going to cry. Then she straightened her shoulders and put her rolling pin on the counter. She glanced at Daniel and then at Mason, who had materialized in the doorway. “It’s fine,” she said quietly.

Both of her brothers hesitated. Then Daniel motioned to the door. “We’ll be just out there. Holler if you need anything.”

She nodded.

As soon as they were outside, Charlie moved around the counter. She wiped her hands on the apron, drawing his attention to them. Maybe she was cleaning them, but it sure looked like she was just nervous. “What do you need, Ash?”

He cleared his throat, moving closer to her. “I need you.”

“Are you willing to consider my terms?”

Ash shook his head. “That’s not a fair request?—”

“It’s more than fair, Ash. I heard you out. I gave it a chance. I let you talk me down before because you’d assured me that everything would be fine.”

“And it is.”

“But it wasn’t ,” she said softly. “When you were out for those two days, it felt like an eternity. I didn’t know if you would wake up. Not really. It didn’t matter how many times the doctors and nurses assured me that you would come out of it. There were no guarantees.”

“There’s never a guarantee?—”

“I know. But that’s just it, isn’t it? There will never be a guarantee that you’ll be safe. The fact that I can’t mentally handle the worry—maybe that’s just an indication that I’m not ready to be in a relationship.”

“But you would be if I quit my job,” he said bitterly.

She sighed. “I don’t know.”

His breathing was getting heavy, and it wasn’t because he’d had to sprint around the house in his effort to get to her. Ash rubbed at the spot just above his heart. “So that’s it then? No compromises? Nothing I can say or do to convince you?—”

Her smile didn’t reach her tear-filled eyes. Slowly, she shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

Ash could feel his heart breaking. Each crack and fissure from her words only went deeper. How could she ask him to pick just one? To lose either felt like he was losing a piece of himself.

“You’ll always be my first kiss,” she whispered.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at her then. Anywhere but at those beautiful eyes.

“And my first love.”

Ash shut his eyes tight and wished he could go deaf. He couldn’t bear to hear the finality of it.

“I’ll always love you for it.”

He clenched his hands tight, digging his nails into his palms. “Please reconsider,” he rasped. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, Ash.”

Time lost meaning. He lost track of how long he stood there. It could have been seconds. It could have been minutes. Heck, if an hour had passed, he wouldn’t have noticed. Finally, he nodded. There was no way he could go out the way he’d come. To have to look Mason and Daniel in the eye after the scene he’d made would only make things worse.

His heart was in shambles. His last spark of hope had been stamped out. There was no other way to salvage what had just happened.

Ash turned around and headed from the kitchen to the front door. She didn’t call after him. She didn’t ask him to stay. And he wasn’t going to push. He’d already taken more than he had a right to have.