Someday Never Came

Chapter Two

Back-to-back dings of my phone—along with what now seem like aggressive buzzing—cause my heart rate to spike, the anxiety kicking my ass from the risky text I had sent only seconds earlier. I never expected Serena to respond, at least not at midnight on a budding Tuesday morning.

Now I’m wishing I had thought this through a little more. Serena, my sweet Serenity, has been—and always will be—my peace. She had been my peace when my parents died and my peace when I started drinking. The only time I felt even an ounce of calm, was at Serena’s side. For a moment, I catch myself wishing I had asked for my brother’s opinion on what I should have said to her, but on second thought: fuck that. I know what Wyhtt would have said before threatening to kick my ass: “Leave her alone.”

Wyhtt—my childhood best friend and my brother in arms—was left to pick up the pieces the last time. It was him who watched the girl we both knew—both loved in different ways—shatter before his eyes. He was forced to tell her I was gone, I was never coming back, and that she needed to move on with her life. He has never allowed me to forget that.

Any mention of her name over the last decade . . . any mention of reaching out, or even the reminiscences of a drunken man’s most inner regrets and desires, ended as abruptly as they were spoken aloud—always by Wyhtt’s harsh words. Words that speak a truth I was never ready to deal with . . . until now.

I always assumed you never thought of me. You left as if I never mattered, not even our friendship. Why would I ever think any different after almost ten years of silence?

You lived your life. You made these choices…these life altering decisions without ever considering how it would affect me. I don’t mean to come off harsh, Jensen, but why the hell are you texting me now?

Not the response I was hoping for, but the response that I deserved. What was I doing? Did I even know what I was doing? What made me think after all these years she would be welcoming? That she still even thought of me? Wishing I could still blame my idiotic actions on my drinking, I shot off another text.

Not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought of you. Not a day has gone by that I didn’t regret my actions. What I want is simple. I want you.

Panic rises again as I realize I have no idea what is going on in her life. She could have a boyfriend. Hell, she could have a husband. What if she has kids? Kids with another man because I was a selfish prick who was scared shitless when I was eighteen. The thought of anyone else having her, loving her . . . even a man who is deserving of her, has my hands grasping for my phone. Before I can stop myself, I’m sending another text, knowing it’s now or never for her, for me, for us.

Come to me. I will pay for your plane ticket.

We were friends, long before we were more. Don’t you ever miss that? Miss what we had? If you do, then come to me.

Of course I have missed you, but missing someone and allowing them back into your life after a betrayal is not typically what they call a sound decision.

Well . . . her response isn’t a straight ‘no way in hell, fuck you and lose my number,’ so I suppose that’s a win.

Would it make a difference if I told you, it wouldn’t just be us here? Wyhtt is here. We have been restoring the beach house. I know he would love to see you.

Our other friend, he is like a brother to us, will be coming down also. He just got out of the army, we served together on our last tour. He’s a bit of a grump but one of the best men you could ever know.

My phone falls silent again, but I know she is reading my messages. Her read receipts are on. She is going to make me beg. Even as children, Serena had a way of making me grovel for her forgiveness. It never seemed to matter how big the incident was, Serena was the judge, jury, and executioner when it came to deciding how long I would be punished for my crimes. If stealing her last sip of lemonade caused me to be put into the doghouse for a solid week, I can only imagine that disappearing and leaving her heartbroken for a decade will have me in my grave pleading for forgiveness. Fuck.

I know how much you love the 4th. Come home, celebrate with us.

Please

I will think about it…

Goodnight, Jensen

I will take that as a win for tonight. Goodnight, my sweet Serenity.