Someday Never Came

Chapter Twenty-Six

I drive around for an hour before landing in the parking lot of a bar, running back to my favorite vice. Alcohol is the only thing I know that can cause me to forget, even if it’s just temporary. I tear my keys out of the ignition before slamming my fist into the steering wheel repeatedly until it’s bloody, matching the images of the boy I couldn’t save still flickering behind my eyelids. Our blood blurs before my eyes, each blink a mixture of this past and present.

My phone hasn’t stopped going off since I sped away from the house. The screen lights up with every missed call from Serena and unread texts from Grayson and Wyhtt. How the fuck am I supposed to explain this to her? How am I supposed to explain why I stormed off? How am I supposed to explain that ghosts from my past are coming back to haunt me, reminding me that I couldn’t save them? I throw my phone across the cab of my truck just as another call comes through. This time I see Sam’s—my sponsor’s—name flash across the screen.

Damn location sharing. FindMy location sharing for sponsors and sponsees sounded like a reasonable plan at the time, but now it’s currently fucking with my plans of getting shit faced. Cursing under my breath, I lean over to retrieve my cell with a newly cracked screen from what Serenity would call a bitch fit. The voice coming through the other line leaves no room for questions when I answer.

“Get your ass to the next AA meeting, now. I will meet you there, it starts in thirty. I’m not going to ask you why you are in that parking lot and I don’t want to hear any excuses either.”

“Yes, sir.” The words sound robotic and forced as I jam the keys back in the ignition and bring the engine roaring back to life.

I’m numb, unable to feel anything as I drive across town to the repurposed sanctuary hall. The old building used to be a church, but when the church moved to a bigger, more modernized building, they donated their old location to serve those needing help. Sam is already waiting in the parking lot, leaning against his car with his arms folded across his chest.

I don’t speak; neither of us say a word as we go in for the meeting. I’m still numb as the meeting starts. Sam doesn’t leave until the meeting ends, and even once I’m back in the truck my phone dings with texts from him.

Ignoring Sam’s texts, I open the most recent message from Grayson. He lets me know that they’re heading out for dinner along with the name of the restaurant across town. I’m not quite ready to face the wrath of Serena or listen to her demand answers that I’m not ready to give. I don’t want to see the worry on Wyhtt’s face or hear Grayson apologize again. I just have to wait them out, so I do. I wait until I see Wyhtt’s SUV drive through downtown.

Not ten minutes later, I arrive home to a clean kitchen and empty house.