Someday Never Came

Chapter Forty-Nine

July 5, 2022

Dear Jensen,

I’ve landed safely and I’m back home in Nashville. Somehow calling it home now seems wrong. It feels like I’m missing something or someone. The flight was uneventful, other than my mind racing over thoughts of us. If there will ever be an us, that is. It was rude of you to not even call, let alone text, to make sure I didn’t die in a fiery plane crash. I’m assuming that would have made you feel like shit, but I’ll let it slide this time I suppose.

I did just announce my undying love for you a few short hours ago, along with many other embarrassing statements. None of which I take back, in case you’re wondering. I wanted to write this letter before the jet lag and melatonin kicks in and knocks me out for the evening.

I’ve had a lot of time to think—not just on the plane ride home—but over the last several years. I’ve thought about you, about us, and whatever this may or may not end up being. Jesus, you would think as an obsessive romance reader and the fact that I work as an editor, I wouldn’t ramble as much as I do.

I suppose love makes us all stupid.

I originally planned to leave everything in your hands, if you want me you know how to find me. You know how to contact me, but I’m not sure it’s completely fair for me to do that, to not give myself a voice. So, I have decided that once a month I will be mailing you a letter. I have no idea what it will include. It could be me rambling about my life, or how the stars remind me of you that evening. I suppose each letter will be a surprise for us both.

This will be the only contact I offer until you make your decision. I will mail you twelve letters in total. Even though a part of me hopes it doesn’t take you the full three hundred and sixty-five days to come for me—to choose us.

Either way though, I am yours for the next year, Jensen. Demons and all…

Next letter in August.

With all my love,

Your Serenity