Chapter 3
3
Hudson was due to pick up the kids from their grandparents but because of the drama unfolding with baby Lena, he wanted to get up to the hospital, find out what was going on.
He was lucky. His parents lived locally in Whistlestop River and they always stepped up to help him out, tonight being no exception. He wasn’t sure where he would’ve been without them. They had known for a while what his ex-wife Lucinda was like – unreliable when it came to sticking to timescales, at least out of the office environment – and were never surprised when Hudson called them last minute to ask that they mind three-year-old Carys because Lucinda had had something come up at the last minute. Fifteen-year-old Beau was past the age of needing them to watch him but he often went to their house simply because he liked their company. In fact, Hudson was pretty sure Beau preferred being with them to him. He supposed he should be grateful. At least Beau let some family into his teenage world.
Hudson parked at the hospital. Inside, he followed the signs, walking the maze of the building, saying hello to a nurse here and there. Part of his job remit with The Skylarks was to build and enhance relationships with hospitals so he knew a lot of the staff from previous encounters. His role also involved supporting patients who had been treated by the air ambulance team so that they could make sense of their experience, and a big part of his job was supporting families after their loss of a loved one. It was the bit he was particularly good at, but also the bit that tried him the most. He’d been here at this hospital only a couple of weeks ago to meet with a family whose daughter, despite The Skylarks’ best efforts, hadn’t survived. The family had needed to fully comprehend what happened, at least the best they could, and they had important questions about the care that was provided to their daughter in the pre-hospital environment. It wasn’t an easy job for Hudson on those days as relatives found themselves in the painful position of being unexpectedly bereaved, but Hudson hoped he brought them some comfort and made things that little bit easier to bear.
Unlike the crew who took to the skies, Hudson didn’t work erratic shifts. Sometimes they happened, of course, like now, but usually he had more organised and social hours which fitted in with him and the kids. He’d been part time when he started with the Whistlestop River Air Ambulance and had been able to juggle work with being the parent who stayed at home the most, but when Lucinda moved out of the family home eight months ago, he’d had to return to full time given the change in his financial situation.
When he reached paediatrics, he spotted Nadia coming along the corridor. She looked drawn, tired, not her usual self at all.
‘How’s the baby?’ Please let it be good news. If he believed it would make any difference, he’d cross his fingers on both hands.
Her face brightened. ‘She’s doing well. She’s going to be checked thoroughly by a doctor but preliminary checks by myself and the nurses haven’t found anything of concern. We think she must have been fed before she was left outside the airbase.’
‘No other signs of dehydration?’ Even if the baby had been fed, time was getting on and hunger and thirst could creep up easily.
‘No. She isn’t lethargic; she had a bit of a cry earlier with plenty of tears.’ She smiled; mostly, you didn’t like to see a baby’s tears, but it was a good sign that the baby was hydrated.
Nadia led the way back into the ward and over to one of the cubicles, coming in behind a guy in a white coat who strode with purpose right over to Lena. ‘This must be the doctor to do the formal assessment.’ Her gaze drifted back to Hudson. ‘It’s way past the end of your day. You didn’t have to come all the way out here.’
‘It’s my job, remember: patient and family liaison. And The Skylarks don’t clock off if they’re needed.’
‘You’re right. Perhaps I’m the one who shouldn’t really be here; it’s just, well, she’s so small?—’
‘It’s good that you came. It’s good that you care.’ He watched her shift along near the window so she could observe the doctor doing the checks. ‘I’ll take you home when you’re ready,’ he told her.
‘Thank you.’
Hudson stayed while the doctor examined Lena. Prior to his role with The Skylarks and before Carys was born, Hudson had been a full-time nurse, so he knew what the doctor was likely looking for. The doctor examined Lena’s eyes for their appearance and movement – he’d be checking for cataracts. He placed a stethoscope against Lena’s chest to check her heart. A lot of babies – adults too – found it cold and it jolted them but Lena seemed mesmerised by all the attention. The doctor was likely checking for heart murmurs. They were common, and meant the heart had an extra or unusual sound caused by disturbed blood flow as it negotiated its way around the tight bends inside a young child’s heart. They usually turned out not to have a serious underlying cause – Beau had had one when he was born and both Hudson and Lucinda had held their breath until the doctor confirmed it was an innocent murmur which went away soon after. But hearing anything was out of the ordinary with your baby was a unique form of torture.
Lena underwent other physical examinations including the checking of her hips, screening tests she may have had as a newborn already but without any record, it was best to do them again. For the most part, she took the examinations well but it wasn’t too long before she got tetchy and Hudson couldn’t blame her. Her face turned pink; she gnawed at her clenched fists.
The doctor handed a grizzling Lena to Nadia because Nadia, just like a parent, found it hard to stay back. Hudson didn’t feel it was his place to ask her, but he sometimes wondered why she’d never had a family of her own; she was a natural and she seemed to have a desperate longing. Or maybe he was reading too much into it. Maybe his knack of observing how people reacted and felt had gone into overdrive.
Alongside the doctor’s assessment, a junior doctor had been taking notes and he carried on with those as the consultant addressed Nadia and Hudson. ‘Given her size, weight and appearance, I’d say that this little one was born slightly early. She’s approximately ten days old, maybe less. But she’s healthy, she’s strong. She’s been well looked after.’
A nurse came into the cubicle. ‘The police are on their way and social services have been notified.’ She leaned in and rubbed the back of her finger against Lena’s cheek. ‘Now let’s get this little one a bottle of formula. It’s been a couple of hours since you found her.’
‘The mother or whoever abandoned her outside the airbase must have fed her right before she was left.’ Nadia cradled Lena in her arms. ‘She’s too little to go too long without food. She’s done well to last.’
The nurse went off to make up the formula and Nadia sat in the chair next to the bed in the cubicle on the ward. Alongside them, ready for Lena, was a clear plastic cot-bed but Hudson suspected that even after a feed, Nadia would be in no rush to transfer the baby.
Hudson crouched down on his haunches. ‘You doing okay?’ He was used to this. He worked closely with patients and their families to explain interventions, their medical care, the holistic approach to their recovery. And Nadia right now felt like someone who needed that support. This case had hit her hard – it happened sometimes. He wanted to ask why she’d taken it so personally – was it just because Lena was so little? Had something happened to a baby she knew?
But it wasn’t his job to pry. It was his job to support.
Nadia didn’t shift her gaze from Lena as she lay there in her arms. ‘I’m just glad we found her soon after the bell rang. Sometimes, we don’t answer; sometimes, we’re in the hangar and don’t hear, or the crew could’ve been out on a job. I might have left, we?—’
He did his best to keep Nadia calm. ‘What might have happened isn’t the focus now. Lena is healthy and safe, that’s the main thing.’
As Lena became more fractious, Nadia stood and started to pace beside the window in the small space that belonged to this child for now. Medically, she almost had the all-clear, once she managed formula and had had a few nappy changes. Then all they’d need was social services to find a suitable placement for her and she’d be off. Although this was an unusual case, Hudson would keep in close contact with social services and the foster carer; he’d be ready to provide information about the appropriate support services if and when the mother or whoever had left Lena came forward.
The nurse came back with the formula and Nadia settled into the chair once again. But Lena didn’t take to the bottle straight away. The teat went in and she turned her head away and screwed up her face some more. Nadia tried it again, and another time.
‘Let me try a different type of bottle,’ the nurse suggested.
But that one was no good either.
The nurse put a hand to Lena’s head, the downy blonde hair curled beneath her fingers. ‘I wonder whether this little one has been breastfed and isn’t used to bottles.’
If that was the case, it meant that whoever had left her had really tried hard to care for her, as breastfeeding was rarely easy. Hudson wasn’t sure whether that made things better or worse but it did make him hopeful that the mother would come forwards and get the help she needed.
The nurse, who Hudson had met a couple of times before, picked up on Nadia’s distress. ‘She’ll eat eventually but if not, we’ll try using a teaspoon just to keep her hydrated. Would you like me to try her with the bottle again?’
‘I’m happy to keep doing it, if that’s all right?’
‘Of course.’ The nurse excused herself to go over to another cubicle where she was needed. Hudson knew what it was like. It would be lovely as a nurse to focus on just a couple of patients at a time but it didn’t work that way. Sometimes, you saw so many, it was hard to keep each case clear in your head, much to the frustration of the parents, as well as the nurses.
Nadia stood and held Lena against her body, swaying gently to calm her.
And then she sat down and tried the bottle again. But it still wasn’t happening.
When the police arrived, she stood up, Lena cradled protectively in her arms once more.
There were two officers, one of them being Conrad, Maya’s ex-husband. Hudson couldn’t stand the guy. He was a total prick, full of self-importance, but as a detective who worked in the next town along from Whistlestop River, he was also known for being relentless when it came to getting to the bottom of a case. So, in that respect, it was good to have him on board.
Hudson and Nadia answered Conrad’s questions the best they could. But there wasn’t much to go on at all.
‘And you answered the ring at the door to the airbase straight away?’ Conrad’s colleague asked.
‘Yes, immediately,’ said Nadia, although she clarified it with, ‘Well, the time between hearing the ring and opening up the door after I’d found the keys delayed me by, say, five minutes.’
Conrad, lips downturned in thought, pushed them for more information. ‘Think hard. Did you see any cars nearby that looked out of place? Had anyone unusual been hanging around the airbase today or recently? Any little detail you can remember might help us.’
But Nadia shook her head. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t remember anything else.’
‘Me neither.’ All Hudson could remember was seeing the baby and Nadia unable to take her eyes away from her. He wished now that he’d gone straight outside and had a look around. But hindsight was a wonderful thing. ‘The cardboard box is back at the airbase if you need it, but there are no markings on it; it’s plain.’
‘Hmm… not helpful.’
Did Conrad mean the box wasn’t helpful or they weren’t? Hudson suspected both. This guy seemed to have a knack for making you feel guilty even if you weren’t.
Conrad spoke over a crying child in the bay diagonal to theirs. ‘Would you be open to doing a television appeal tomorrow?’
Nadia looked at Hudson, then at Conrad, whose focus settled on her. ‘You want me to talk on camera?’
‘Usually, it’s the police who do the appeal,’ Conrad explained, ‘and I’ll be there. But the baby was left at the airbase and you found her. It will make it more personal, in my opinion.’
‘Anything I can do to help.’
‘Do you need me to speak?’ Hudson put in.
‘Too many cooks…’ Irritation laced Conrad’s voice.
The man was an arse – Maya’s frequent description of him – and for a detective, his people skills were seriously lacking. Unless they were all missing something members of the public got to see. But as long as he did the job, that’s all anyone really wanted.
Everyone longed for a happy ever after in these sorts of cases. Hudson had been involved in a case with an abandoned newborn baby three years ago. The teenage mother had given birth and dumped the baby in a bin in the toilets at her school. The baby hadn’t survived despite the air ambulance arriving at the scene quickly after the infant was found. They’d delivered pre-hospital emergency care but it was too late. Hudson had acted as patient and family liaison with the mother, a fifteen-year-old, and her parents, who’d had no idea their only daughter was even pregnant. He’d been the bridge for them to find support and counselling, but they’d never fully get over it. And the case had haunted him with Carys’s arrival being around the same time. He hadn’t been able to fathom how anyone could put a baby into a bin. The case had given him nightmares for weeks and he was only relieved that Lena hadn’t met the same fate.
When Conrad and the other officer had their statement, Conrad told them he’d be in touch about the television appeal.
The nurse came back over with a bottle after the officers had left. ‘Third time lucky?’
Nadia puffed out her cheeks. ‘I’ll give it a go. She seems to be calm enough again.’ She sat down in the chair and, with Lena in position, took the bottle, guiding it to the baby’s lips. ‘Come on, Lena. You can do this.’
‘Stubborn little miss,’ the nurse sighed when Lena turned her head away, the milk from the teat squirting over her delicate features.
Nadia wiped the baby’s face and just when they all thought it wasn’t going to work and the nurse said she’d go and get a teaspoon and try an alternative method, Lena turned her head, the teat slipped inside her mouth and she rhythmically gulped down the milk until there was nothing left inside the bottle but air.
A collective sigh of relief had Nadia, the nurse and Hudson sharing smiles. And when Nadia handed over the empty bottle, she sat Lena on her lap, one hand supporting her chest and the weight of her head, the other rubbing her little back to elicit a burp.
And it was a big one that made them all laugh.
‘If only it were so acceptable to burp that way after a good meal when you’re an adult,’ said Hudson when the nurse left them to it.
Nadia laughed. ‘If only.’
Before they left the hospital, it was confirmed that Lena would remain with the doctors and nurses until social services appointed an approved foster carer.
‘I’ll come up here again tomorrow to see her,’ said Nadia as Hudson pulled out of the car park.
‘That’s a nice idea.’ Even though he was driving, he sneaked a quick look to see she’d turned in her seat to face him.
‘You don’t think it’s weird?’
‘The Skylarks are forever crossing boundaries. And I think we do it well.’ Nadia was in charge of keeping the team operating effectively, managing their schedules, ensuring they ran efficiently, but she cared; they all did. It was part of what made them all keep coming back to the job.
‘She’s all alone in the world,’ said Nadia, her voice catching on her words.
‘She’s not alone; she’s safe. And she’s in good hands. And whoever left her, they either weren’t thinking straight or they felt they had no choice.’ He couldn’t be sure of the circumstances but a parent rarely left their child on a whim. And one as well looked after as Lena? It hinted that whoever had abandoned her, whether it was the mother or someone else, they loved her very much.
‘I was so relieved when she took the bottle. Do you think the nurse was right: that Lena was likely breastfed and wondered what on earth was going on? She must’ve known none of us were her mother; she was waiting to be in her arms.’
‘Maybe, but she was pretty happy with you.’
‘How long until she’s placed with a social worker?’
She sounded worn out. He wanted to ask why this case had hit so hard, ask whether she needed to talk. This woman had a huge heart, a warmth, a way with people that he’d admired right from his very first day at the air ambulance base.
‘It could be anywhere from a few hours to a few days, but they’ll do it as soon as they can. She doesn’t have health concerns that require a stay in hospital; better to get her to a homely environment.’
He pulled in at the kerb outside her house.
‘Thank you for bringing me home, Hudson. You’d better get back to your kids.’
‘No worries at all, and my parents leapt in to look after Carys. Beau went because he enjoys their company.’
‘Is Lucinda out of town? On your birthday?’
He’d mentioned his parents without even thinking. ‘Couldn’t be helped. Oh… and thank you for the brownies and the cake again – haven’t had any of the latter yet but tomorrow is another day.’
‘Let’s hope they’ve left us some cake back at the base. And you’re very welcome for the brownies.’
With a smile and yet another thank you, Nadia got out of the car.
As he drove to his parents’ to collect the kids, Hudson thought about the woman he’d married and the woman he was getting to know as a friend. They couldn’t be more different, both in looks and personality. Lucinda had a sharp brunette bob with eyes that missed nothing and her appearance was on a par with her work ethic, her utter drive and determination in her job as an actuary with an insurance company. Nadia on the other hand had soft blonde waves in her hair and a smile that was impossible to ignore. She was a people person, like he was, and she had a way of talking to you that made you feel as if you were important, as if you mattered.
And now he drew another comparison because the way Nadia had been with Lena today had him imagine what she would be like as a mother. She’d be the one to volunteer at nursery, to accompany them on school trips, to let them get messy with paints at home, take care of them when they were sick. Lucinda loved Beau and Carys, Hudson knew that, but she’d never wanted a family as much as Hudson had and had never done those things. They’d fallen pregnant by mistake with Beau and he knew that had Beau not come along, it was unlikely they ever would’ve stayed together. Lucinda cheated on him a few years into their marriage but when he found out, she insisted she didn’t want to end their relationship, that nothing mattered more than keeping her family together. She told him then that they should keep trying for another baby, the second baby they’d never been blessed with despite their efforts. And so, with the lure of the bigger family he’d always longed for, he’d accepted that she made a terrible mistake and they’d tried to make their marriage work.
They were still trying to make it work when Lucinda found out she was pregnant with Carys. That was when Lucinda’s biggest lie had come to the fore. Hudson’s way of coping was to focus on their family; her way of coping was to throw herself into her work for as long as she could, working right up until the day before she gave birth. She took minimum maternity leave before she got back to what she loved best – her job and the part of her life that was solely hers. She had a harder edge when it came to family than he did. And that harder edge was what had come between them as a couple in the end. She’d had another affair, she wasn’t very good at hiding them, and making their relationship work became impossible. They’d tried for the sake of the kids but it was obvious that staying together for Beau and Carys would likely make everyone unhappy.
He pulled up outside his parents’ home. All he wanted now was for Beau and Carys to settle into this new life of theirs, seeing both parents separately, spending the majority of their time with their dad. Lucinda had cheated on him twice at least when they were married – twice that he’d found out about anyway – and now she had a new boyfriend. She’d introduced the guy to the kids even though the divorce had only been finalised last month and while Hudson didn’t mind that she was moving on, he did mind when it affected the children. And from what he could make out, Beau wasn’t overly keen on this new man at all. He wouldn’t tell Hudson anything about him; he always asked his mother if he was going to be there when she came to pick him and his sister up.
Hudson went inside his parents’ home to be greeted by the sound of laughter – his mum’s and Carys’s. He wanted to immerse himself in the sound; he wished he could hear more of it at home, especially with Beau.
All he wanted these days was for his kids to be happy, to feel safe and loved because his kids were his whole world. Nothing else mattered as much as they did.