Chapter 8
EIGHT
BEG
Caroline
“I’m just going to run to the bathroom,” I said over the deafening volume that had not waned the entire day.
“Okay, I’ll get everyone out of the pool, then we can cut the cake. It’s in the fridge in the garage, right?”
I nodded and gave my sister a thumbs up as I headed down the hallway toward my room. My nerves were fried from little kids tugging on me and screaming and constantly wanting things. I wasn’t used to the chaos, and I just needed a moment of silence.
And even amid the insanity, I hadn’t missed the feeling of Ryder’s eyes on me. I could feel him watching me throughout the day, which only made my already anxious state worse.
Pushing open the double doors to my bedroom, I took an immediate right into my bathroom. I swung the door closed behind me but whirled when it opened less than a second later.
“What the?—”
Ryder stepped inside and closed the door behind him. His fingers brushed the lock then turned it slowly. The click echoed through the room .
“What are you doing in here?”
He shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back against the door and crossing his arms. His fitted white T-shirt stretched across his chest, the sleeves of which tightened around his biceps. Dark jeans hugged his thighs, and I watched his ankles cross, too.
A smirk completed his unbothered persona.
“You looked a little overwhelmed.”
I snorted and shook my head, tucking my hair behind my ear. “So, you decided to follow me rather than give me a second to collect myself?”
Another shrug.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and considered the possibility of him leaving without this going further.
“You should go.”
“Why?”
I turned and motioned to the toilet behind me. “I need to go to the bathroom. Because we are in a bathroom, if you couldn’t tell.”
Ryder was shaking his head, a few dark strands spilling forward before I’d finished speaking. He wasn’t believing any part of my lie.
“No, you don’t. You went to the bathroom less than a half hour ago, and you haven’t had anything to drink since. So, unless you’ve developed a very tiny bladder in the past hour, I think you’re lying.”
My jaw went slack, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “That is so weird. You’ve been watching me?”
I didn’t expect his chuckle, but I felt it low my stomach all the same. He was so unashamed by the fact that he’d been keeping track of me. It made me feel things I hadn’t expected.
“Don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed. You’ve been watching me, too.”
Uneasy with the entire interaction and how out of control I felt, I mimicked his nonchalance as best I could. My ass hit the sink behind me, and I crossed my arms over my chest. Tilting my hea d to the side, I appraised him. His little smirk grew wider.
“I can’t help if my eyes happened to land on you. And if they did, I promise you it was wholly unintentional.”
He licked his lips and pursed them like he was considering my words, and his response, carefully. “I see. You’re saying it’s just a reflex then, to find me when I’m in the room?”
I groaned and tilted my head back to stare at the white ceiling. The sun shining through the window above the sink reflected rays of sharp light across it.
“Oh my gosh, I hate you.”
I looked back at him just in time to witness his wide smile and watch his throat bob with a hearty laugh. “Good, it turns me on.”
My entire body tensed, and I could see in the way his smile dipped and his eyes remained steadfast on my face, that he was being completely truthful.
We were in uncharted territory. Standing on the precipice of something neither of us fully comprehended.
“You should leave,” I said quietly.
“Not yet.” He straightened, and I pushed back against the sink. I couldn’t get farther away unless I ran into my closet which seemed childish, but I kept the option tucked away just in case. “Tell me what you think I want.”
Sighing, I braced my hands against the sink behind me for extra support. I knew this would come up again. Ryder didn’t quit, and he didn’t give up. “I don’t think. I know what you want.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don’t know everything about me, Caroline. But just so we’re on the same page, why don’t you tell me what you know ?”
“A relationship, Ryder. And I don’t do?—”
“Who said I wanted a relationship?”
I ground my teeth and tossed my hands out to my sides in exasperation. I was starting to do that a lot around him. “You would eventually. And starting… something knowing that will eventually be an issue is idiotic, pointless, and a waste of time.”
For once, he appeared frustrated. Unfolding his arms, he leveled me a very serious look behind his startling blue eyes. “I never said I wanted a relationship,” he said, each word slow and deliberate. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you exactly what I want.”
I stayed silent for a moment, knowing that the next words out of my mouth were only going to make matters worse. Even so, I said, “Fine then, by all means, enlighten me.”
Without missing a beat, he said, “To start, I want to know what you taste like, and I’m not just talking about your mouth.”
There weren’t many moments in my life where I could remember being shocked beyond words. I didn’t often trip over them or struggle to find the right thing to say. By all accounts, I talked too much. But around Ryder, especially when he said things like that, I couldn’t seem to speak.
He took the invitation of my silence to take a step forward, then another. With a few feet between us, I could smell the woodsy spice of his cologne mixed with the sunshine clinging to his skin.
His stubble-covered jaw tensed, and images of those cheeks pressed against my inner thighs, scraping against my skin as he did what he wanted, made it hard to swallow.
“I just want a taste, Caroline. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”
Two more steps, and he was directly in front of me, bracing both of his hands on the counter behind me. I followed the movement and watched his fingers curl over the lip of the sink. Slowly I dragged my eyes back to his and tried to control my quick breaths and chaotic heartbeat.
Sharing the same air, I could feel the heat of his chest against mine and the strength in his lean, taut muscles. He maintained eye contact as he leaned forward and brushed his nose and then his lips against my cheek. He lifted his hands and swept my hair off my shoulder. The shiver that whipped down my spine was swift.
Like a wave, the memory of the last time he did that washed over me. Standing in my kitchen over a year ago, he got that close, eager for more. Only this time, I didn’t have the wherewithal to stop him. And unlike last time, his lips touched my skin. It was the smallest graze, yet I could feel it everywhere.
“I don’t think you understand, Caroline. I would do anything for it.” His voice was a low vibration against my neck. One that I enjoyed immensely. “I’m not above begging.”
I tilted my head and nudged his face with my chin, raising my hands to push lightly at his chest until he caught on and pulled back. Not enough to give me any sort of room, but enough that he could see my face.
“If you’re going to beg, you might as well do it on your knees.”