Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
YOU DIDN’T EVEN GO THERE
Caroline
I didn’t want to move. My body was spent, and I felt like I was floating.
Eventually, Ryder pulled out of me and took his body heat with him.
I turned into the blankets beneath me, and he chuckled at my muffled groan. I knew I should get up to pee, but moving from the bed sounded like the worst decision I could make. A few minutes wouldn’t kill me or result in a UTI. I hoped.
I heard his quiet footsteps as he padded into his bathroom and the soft click of the door opening. The toilet flushed, and the water turned on, but it sounded far away. I was still happily floating.
The bed dipped, and Ryder’s arm appeared around my torso. I didn’t open my eyes as he tugged me higher onto the bed and positioned me against his pillows. I did, however, roll over and rest my head on his chest. He covered us both with the blanket draped at the bottom of the bed, and I was wrapped in warmth.
When he kissed my forehead and tightened his hold around me, I suppressed a sigh .
“I’ve never met this Caroline before,” he said. “Orgasm drunk, sated, and cuddly. I like her.”
My eyes popped open, and I peered up at him. Licking my lips, I refrained from voicing my first thought. Most people haven’t met her. And by most, I meant almost no one. In my almost thirty-four years, there had only been two. Well, now three.
“By the pool you ran off, and you did the same thing in your bed last time. This is…nice.”
Blue eyes bounced between mine, and he intertwined our fingers that lay on his stomach. Fighting that unparalleled desire to flee, I swallowed around the lump in my throat and ignored the pang in my chest as well as the memories of the last two men I’d laid like this with. Instead, I hummed and did the next best thing, deflected with words.
“It is,” I said, looking down at our joined hands. “You shouldn’t ruin it with your commentary.”
He laughed and brushed his lips against the top of my head. When he took a deep breath, I realized he was smelling me, which was slightly odd until it was followed by a rumble in his chest. Nothing that would have been noticeable if I weren’t laying directly on him, but since I was, I could hear and feel it.
Whatever he smelled, likely my dry shampoo and hair oil, he liked.
We laid there quietly, listening to the faint sounds from outside his apartment. A car door slammed, and the people above us sounded like they were playing Dance Dance Revolution or rearranging all the furniture in their living room.
I was trying to decipher the noise when Ryder’s phone buzzed on the nightstand. He didn’t reach for it, instead he continued rubbing his thumb over the nail polish on mine. When it happened again but for longer, like someone was calling him, I lifted my head.
“You can get that,” I said.
He shook his head and stared at our hands. “It’s my dad.”
“You know that without looking at it? ”
He nodded and sighed. “He’s calling because he wants to know which job I took.”
Once again, I struggled not to move or react because that question had also been heavy on my mind since he’d told me about the possibility. I wanted him to do what was best for him, but shockingly, I didn’t want him to leave. A feeling I was still struggling with.
I’d tried not to think about it, but the more I tried to ignore it, the more it made itself known. It had been a long time since I struggled with controlling my thoughts like I did around Ryder.
“Today was the deadline,” I stated.
“It was,” Ryder said plainly, and I waited with bated breath for his answer. If he’d taken that job, he’d probably have to leave sooner rather than later. They weren’t likely to let him wait much longer.
Then came the realization that what we’d just done—the mind-blowing sex we’d just had—could have been a goodbye. The first and the last time all at once.
Seconds ticked by, and I’d finally had enough. “And?”
He laughed, and I tried to take my hand back, but his grip was too tight for me to shake. “Is the anticipation killing you?”
“If you don’t want to tell me, then you don’t have?—”
“I’m not going anywhere, Caroline.”
I stopped and made the stupid decision to look up at him. Tender blue eyes found mine, and Ryder’s customary lopsided smile tilted his lips. There was a flash of his shallow dimple before his smile was too wide to see it.
“I took the job here, so I won’t be moving. Well, I will be moving, but just across town instead of states away.”
“Why? The other one was more money, right? And more potential for growth?”
Ryder shrugged, and I propped up onto my elbow.
“I negotiated the salary of the position here, so I’m making more than I would have at either. And I don’t know, the more I thought about it, the more it didn’t feel like the right fit. ”
Unsure what else to say and knowing I would never ask the question I really wanted to, I decided on, “Your mom will be happy.”
“She will be ecstatic, although she’ll pretend not to be because the last thing she wanted to do was sway my decision.”
“You’re right,” I said, and the blanket slipped down my chest, exposing my breasts. The cold air hit me, and my nipples immediately hardened. Ryder’s eyes darted to my chest, and I slowly covered myself back up so I could see the look on his face for longer. The want stirring behind his eyes and the way he licked his lower lip like he was imagining my nipple in his mouth.
He cleared his throat and looked back down at our hands. “There were other…” He stopped and thought for a second like he couldn’t find the right word. “… factors to consider anyway.”
“It’s always wise to consider all factors when making a decision,” I said, wondering how long we’d both tiptoe around the topic of what factor he was talking about.
He hummed and lifted my hand to his mouth, not kissing my fingers but running the back of them against his lips.
“Especially factors that weren’t factors a month ago. Factors that I never thought would be factors no matter how much I hoped.”
His hot breath against my hand and the intensity in his eyes, the tension around us wasn’t just palpable, it was suffocating. And the longer it lasted, the harder it was to stop.
“I think that’s the most times the word ‘factor,’ has ever been used.”
Not what he was expecting me to say, Ryder blinked, and his expression faltered. But only for a second before he recovered and donned that crooked grin. “We’ll have to look it up to confirm,” he said, and in one swift motion, he let go of my hand and grabbed my hip, flipping me until I was straddling his lap. The blanket pooled around my waist as he shifted higher up the bed, m y hands landing on his chest for support. He sat back against the headboard.
“But since I’ll be here still,” he began, running his hands up my sides and caressing the underside of both breasts. “I get more of this. More of you.”
“Ryder,” I chastised, but he didn’t stop. He pressed against my nipples with his thumbs and teased them both until they were hard. The feeling shot directly between my legs where his cock was cradled, growing harder by the second.
He growled and pinched one hard enough to sting. “Don’t Ryder me. I’m not asking for anything, Caroline. I just want…this. You just like this. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear.”
The head of his cock pressed deliciously against my clit which made it impossible to speak for several seconds, but somehow, I managed to ask, “Have I? Because I think eventually you’ll want more.”
“And what happens if I do eventually want more?” He replaced his thumb on my nipple with his mouth and drew lazy circles around the sensitive area with his tongue before sucking it hard.
“We stop,” I said, and he hummed against my skin. He wasn’t deterred by my honesty. Switching to the other breast, he began the pattern over again—licking, sucking, and biting. My hips began to move of their own accord. Like in my bedroom, his cock slipped between my lips easily, my arousal enough lubricant to ease any resistance.
He let my nipple go with a pop and leaned back to watch his cock disappear underneath me. His jaw was slack and all the muscles in his stomach went taut. Dark hair unkempt from my fingers and lips wet with the remnants of his spit—I committed the picture of him to memory. It was one I wouldn’t want to forget.
“Okay,” he agreed without looking up. His easy response made me laugh which finally drew his attention to my face. His neck was too large for my hand to fit around, but I tried anyway. His Ad am’s apple bobbed against my palm, and I loved the way his pupils dilated, and his cock kicked.
He was such a switch, which was exciting since I’d considered myself one for a while. The flip from submissive to dominant and everything in between was addictive. Especially when I was with someone who could match my energy.
“I don’t believe how easily you just agreed to that.”
“I told you. I’ll take whatever you give me.”
I shook my head and tightened my hand. His eyes grew wider, but he didn’t stop me. “Eventually, you’ll want more.”
“Do you want to bet on it?”
I leaned forward and kissed just his lower lip. The one that was slightly larger and so expressive. “Sure. What’s the wager?”
“Nothing. Just the glory of being the winner. That’s all I’ll need.”
“Fine,” I said as Ryder blindly reached for his bedside table drawer and found another condom. I let my hand fall from his neck so I could shift backward and allow him to roll it on.
Sheathed in rubber, he gripped my hips and guided me down on his waiting length. “There you go,” he murmured. “Sit on my cock.” One of the biggest and most exciting surprises being with Ryder was his dirty fucking mouth. Dirty talk did more for me in the bedroom than almost anything else. Almost.
He stretched and filled me so thoroughly and completely, I lowered myself slowly to feel every fucking inch. My eyes flashed to his phone screen which lit up with another new message, but I was more curious about the time.
“Fifteen-minute refractory period. Impressive.”
He smiled and groaned when I was fully seated. “Perks of being with a twenty-three-year-old.”
God, and was he fucking right. A man who could keep going was always welcome.
At first, I dragged my hips back and forth over his cock, getting reacclimated to his length and girth. But that didn’t last long. I replaced my hand around his throat and lifted my hips until just the tip was inside me. His eyes pleaded for me to keep going, and he opened his mouth like he wanted to voice those desires, but I beat him to it. I let my hips fall, plunging him back into me, and we both groaned in perfect unison.
With me on top, he was deeper than I imagined he could be. Every slam of my hips, he grazed my cervix, and unending desire pulsed through me.
“Oh my god, you’re gorgeous. Yes, please, fuck me,” he ground out through bared teeth. His fingers found my clit, and he managed to keep pace with me as I fucked him.
“Yes, use me, pretty girl. Use my cock to make yourself come. Fuck me just like you need to.”
With our eyes locked, I held his throat just tight enough to restrict the blood flow and cut off his filthy words. Then I came apart in a million splintering pieces.
Ryder quickly followed me over the edge, and I collapsed on top of him.
“Fucking hell, you’re amazing,” he said, and I preened under his words. I was pretty good, I had no doubt in my skills, but somehow Ryder made it better. The two of us together were nothing like I’d ever experienced before.
“You’re not too bad yourself,” I admitted.
“I’m fucking awesome, don’t downplay it.”
I pushed up to a seated position, Ryder’s cock still inside me, and laughed toward the ceiling. He groaned beneath me, my pussy inadvertently clamping down on his sensitive length.
“Your ego is almost too big for this room,” I said, rolling off him and landing on unsteady legs next to the bed. I really had to pee now.
I stepped into the bathroom and pushed the door closed behind me. It didn’t shut completely, so I heard him holler, “Stop having multiple orgasms, and maybe my ego will stop growing.”
I peed, washed my hands, and tried to tame the crazy state of my hair before I walked back into the bedroom. The condom had disapp eared, but Ryder was back in the same place, blanket casually thrown over part of his legs and his arms tucked behind his head.
“Never,” I said on my way into the living room. I found the bag I’d brought next to the door and dragged it back into his bedroom.
Ryder perked up. “Are you staying the night?”
“I don’t spend the night,” I said, fishing around for the pair of shorts I knew I’d packed. “And I have a workout class in the morning on the other side of town.”
“Leave in the morning, then.” He tried to reason, but I was already shaking my head as I stepped into the fabric shorts and reached for my sports bra then T-shirt. Like hell was I going back outside in that bikini and coat.
Picking up the discarded swimsuit, I zipped up the backpack and stood. Ryder’s eyes were narrowed on my chest, staring at my shirt. I looked down to remember which one I was wearing and why he might look like he wanted to rip it off me.
He rolled off the bed and stepped around me. He headed for a drawer in the dresser on the opposite side of the room and found a pair of shorts he quickly pulled on. “You didn’t go to college there,” he said.
“No, I didn’t,” I said, my voice belying my confusion.
“Then where’d you get it?”
I thought for a second, sincerely puzzled by his line of questioning, until I realized where the T-shirt had come from. To lie or not to lie, that was the question. I went with the latter.
“A guy.”
He nodded without turning around and reached for another drawer. “A guy you slept with?”
What the hell. “Yes, he left it at my house, and it’s become one of my favorite T-shirts. It’s soft and worn in all the right ways.”
Quickly, Ryder spun back around and crossed the room in three steps. “Yeah, that’s not going to work for me. When you’re fuckin g me, you shouldn’t wear another man’s shirt, before, during, or after.” My eyes widened, and he thrust one of his T-shirts into my hands. “Do you want to take this off?” he asked, tugging at the hem of the shirt I was wearing. “Or should I?”
I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “I like this shirt, Ryder. You’re being possessive, which doesn’t do a lot for your argument that you ‘ won’t want more .’” I dropped my voice to mimic his.
“So, you want me to take it off then?”
I rolled my eyes and took off the damn shirt before snatching the one he offered out of his hands. It was light purple and just as worn as the other one. It was maybe even softer. Although I wasn’t going to tell him that. It was a little big and fell to my mid-thigh. By the time I got it over my head and straightened it, Ryder was picking me up, grasping me under my ass, and hoisting me into the air.
“What the hell are you doing?” I cried, but my question was quickly answered when he dropped me onto the bed. He crowded over me and kissed me hard.
“Five more minutes,” he said. I parted my thighs and let him settle between them. His tongue swept between my lips, and I became putty under his touch.
“Five more minutes,” I agreed, but we kissed much longer than that. When we pulled apart, our lips were swollen, and he was hard for the third time. But it didn’t go any further. I’d missed a good make-out session. One that didn’t include strings and a requirement for both parties to get off at the end.
Ryder lay beside me, playing with a lock of my hair between his fingers.
“You said something earlier, and I was curious…” I said, unsure how to proceed.
“Yes?” he prompted, and I ran a finger down the center of his chest.
“You said, ‘fuck me,’ but would you ever let me?”
His expression was blank, features unmoving, and my finger s went still against him. Worry tickled at the back of my mind that I’d said something wrong, but I knew better than that. A little smile finally tilted one side of his lips. He licked his lower one and looked down at the piece of hair he was still holding.
It took him a few seconds to speak. “Sorry, I’m just surprised.”
“If it’s not okay, then that’s fine. I wasn’t trying to?—”
“It’s a pleasant surprise, Caroline,” he admitted, and my stomach did that weird thing it always did when he said my name. “So, yes, the answer is yes. I’d willingly, eagerly , let you in my ass.”
My eyebrows shot up, and the images my mind conjured were enough for me to contemplate running out and buying a dildo that moment. Or asking if he had one we could use.
“Don’t look so surprised,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve done similar things before, which I’m sure you could guess since I’ve also been with men.”
“I didn’t want to assume.”
He placed a kiss on the center of my forehead then my hairline. “That’s nice, but it’s the right assumption. And I have to admit,” he said, dropping my hair to tug me closer. We shifted until every part of his front was lined up with mine and the space between us was nonexistent. “The idea of you wearing a strap and palming a dildo you were intent on using on me…” His words trailed off on a groan, and his eyes fluttered shut. To drive his point home, he ground his hips against me. I believed him already, but his thick cock against my thigh really solidified it.
“Great, I’ll start planning. What do you prefer? Longer? Thicker? A fun color?”
He laughed, and I smiled up at him. “I’m not opposed to a fun color, but I prefer thicker if I had to choose.”
“Good to know,” I said as the ideas bombarded me. I’d have to do research on the best brands and anything else I needed to know g oing into it. Ryder brushed his fingers against my cheek, drawing me back to the present. “I should probably go.”
He shook his head and kissed me softly. “Five more minutes.”
“It’s already been more than five minutes from the last time we said that.”
“So what?” he offered. “Please. Five more minutes.”
I sighed and laid my head back down on his arm. It ended up being much more than five minutes because next thing I knew, the sun was peeking through the bedroom blinds, and I couldn’t make myself move for fear of disturbing Ryder’s perfect sleeping form.