Something To Talk About (90s Dude Series 2, #1)

Chapter One

Debi

Everybody has dreamt of being a star.

Well, I think most people at least. From the time I was a little girl, I craved attention. I loved making others laugh or applaud my little songs or shows I put on for anyone who would watch. I thought it might go away as I got older but instead my desire to perform, to be in the spotlight, it just grew.

In high school, I started a band. Really, I just got some friends who could bang on the drums and strum a few chords on a guitar to hang out with me while I played rock star. But then, my best friend Jenna started writing our music. What she can create is magical. I never wanted to sing covers or anything else but that magic she wrote for us.

Pine Grove is not Hollywood or New York City, but we have a great music scene here. We started playing at dive bars, high school dances, or even birthday parties just to have a place to play our music. Soon we built a following and we started headlining shows and even did a small tour around the area last summer.

It has been the time of my life, living a rock star lifestyle out on the road. My band has become my family, and we’ve made memories together I will always cherish. I have not slowed down since I got out of high school. As my friends start to slow down, start to look at their lives, it seems as if they’ve taken notice of all the things we have missed.

“Jordan just wants me to be careful,” Jenna hums as she pulls a linen dress out of her closet.

“Dude, I get it,” I say even if I am a bit sad. “You need to be careful. I agree with your husband that you need to play it safe.”

They just got married a few months ago and wasted no time getting pregnant. I am happier for them than I am letting on. I have to be the tough chick. The badass rockstar. Nothing gets to me. But the truth is, I almost screwed things up with my best friend last summer and I am damn lucky we’re still friends.

Trying to claw my way to the top, I tried to use her new boyfriend, Jordan, as a stepping stone. He is the hot new DJ in town and the brains behind an awesome show at the Pine Grove Galleria. I knew they were seeing each other but in a flash of selfishness, I didn’t care. I was getting desperate to get the hell out of Pine Grove, so I behaved desperately.

Jenna stood up to me for the first time in our lives. I have always been the mouthpiece, the one lighting fires and stirring the pot. Sometimes I forgot who the brain behind our operation is. I forgot to be thankful for her support, for her friendship, and took advantage of her in ways I never meant to.

I am still mending that bridge, which is why I am here today. I am taking my newlywed best friend forever out to the fair. Jordan will be there hosting some shows so we’re going to make the rounds, getting her all the fried twinkies or funnel cakes she wants. I am thrilled she is having a baby because we talked about raising our kids together while we were big rock stars. Or, well, while I was the rocker that she made a star with her music.

“I can taste the lemonade,” Jenna muses as she rubs at her belly again. “I will need at least four, for sure.”

“What the pregnant lady wants, the pregnant lady gets,” I swear, fussing with my hair in big mirror over her vanity.

Jenna looks adorable in her little linen dress, round belly, and Reeboks. Her blonde hair is pulled back from her makeup free face. On the other hand, I am wearing tattered denim shorts, a snug neon tank top, and my dark hair is streaked with neon colors. I totally nailed the rockstar look.

“We look good, let’s go have a blasty-blast at the fair, babes.”

Outside it is a beautiful summer day with bright, white puffs of clouds in the blue skies. Before we even get to the fairgrounds, I can hear the laughter and shrieks from people on the rides, I can smell the fried foods and sweet cotton candy. It has been a long time since we went out to have a good time together.

“Will you guys continue the tour this fall?” Jenna wonders as I pay for us both, showing off as usual.

“Yeah. Maybe. I mean, I don’t know for sure. Otis wants to take a little break to be with his old lady. Matty wants to finish his final year of college. I uh...I’ve been thinking about going back to school too.”

Jenna stops walking, turning to cock a look at me. It is to be expected that she would not take me seriously. I am rarely serious about anything other than being a rock star and having a good time. But I mean this. I am not fooling myself that I will be able to live like a rockstar forever.

“Oh yeah? That’s exciting! Would you go back for music?”

“I mean, maybe. I haven’t figured that part out yet. I just thought it was time to think about growing up.”

Standing in line for a funnel cake—her very favorite—I can’t look at her. I can’t risk seeing judgment in her eyes. Jenna knows me better than anyone and she has always been patient with me. Even when I was not so kind to her, hell even after I flirted with her boyfriend, she never turned her back on me.

We’re growing up and we won’t have a lot more days like this one. Jenna is married now, with a baby coming soon. Her music is so good she can make a career of writing songs for superstar bands. She has her dream. I am still trying to figure mine out.

“Debi,” her voice is kind, gentle, as she puts a hand on my back. “You told me you were going to be a rock star because you loved it. You also told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. I never believed that until you said it. Until I watched you be whatever you wanted to be. You can be a rock star, if you want it. Get out of Pine Grove and tour the entire world if you want. Or...you can go back to school and figure out who else is inside of you.”

Smiling, I turn to her, so grateful for her friendship, for her kind words. I have been thinking for weeks about going back to school, about finding myself beyond a partying rock singer. I want to be something more . I believe I can be something more—I just haven’t figured out what that is yet.

“Yeah, well, now it is time to figure out who I am going to be, right? I am young, free, and embarking on a whole new life. Starting with a ride on the Ferris Wheel,” I declare, seeing the shock on her face.

“No. No, no we’re not doing that. We hate heights.”

“No, I am afraid of heights, babes,” I argue, backing up towards the line with a smile, “I want to face my fears, starting with that big boy there.”

“I am keeping my feet on the ground where they belong.” Jenna argues.

“I would never take that baby on a ride that has scared us our entire lives. That little peanut is going to be well taken care of, babes.”

Grinning at her, I turn to rush towards the line. This is one of the reasons I agreed to a day at the fair. I had a fear I wanted to face down. My classes begin in just a few weeks. Before I go back to the grind, I want to have the best last summer of my young life—including facing some fears.

Standing in line, I bounce from foot to foot, my neon laces on my Reebok’s bouncing. I am terrified that I cannot cut it as a grown up. That all of my best days might be behind me. Jenna became an adult with ease—but she handles most things with ease. It inspired me to grow up a little myself.

“Debi! Oh my God it is totally you! Debi Hollis!”

Flushing, I turn to the young girl who stopped her friends to single me out. It does happen from time to time. I would not say we have fans, but I guess that is what you would call this girl. It’s blistering hot out and she has on leather biker shorts and a Purple Heart’s shirt tied at her hip, my face staring back at me.

“Hey, doll face. It is me. I am me. I love that shirt,” I gush, taking her hands as she shakes them at me, her feet bouncing as she loses it.

“Me too! Oh my...can you...can you sign it? I would die if you signed my shirt, Debi!”

“I mean, how about I sign it, and you do not die? How about that?”

“Yes!” Yanking at the fanny pack on her hip, her hand jangles with tons of metal bracelets as she fishes out a thick marker.

Grinning at her as I take it, even as my breathing accelerates as others watch us in confusion, I sign my name over my own face. That never gets old, I can’t lie. She thrusts her arm out, pleading with me to sign it too, so she can maybe get it tattooed. Never heard of someone doing that. I do it without hesitation, laughing with her as she gushes about my band.

“Will you be on tour this summer? I went to, like, seven shows last spring!”

“We might. We’re still figuring it out. I hope to see you, if we do!”

“Dude totally! Oh my God! You’re even prettier up close! I love you and I love Purple Hearts.”

“Well, you are a sweet face and that means absolutely everything!”

Rushing off with her friends, they’re talking excitedly about meeting me, about the band, and about our shows. It makes me feel good for a few moments. Until I see people still staring at me, wondering who I am. That is always a wakeup call. We might have fans or followers, but most of the world has no idea who Debi Hollis is or that Purple Hearts even exists.

“Not every day a girl meets her hero. That was very kind of you.”

Turning at the voice, I am prepared to be heckled or laughed at. I bite back a gasp as I face the handsome man smiling down at me. Glasses sit perched on a perfect nose, doing nothing to hide the beautiful crystal blue eyes behind them. A crooked smile tilts his perfect mouth and I just stare.

This guy is the total opposite of the sort of guy I date. Tall, big, skin golden from time in the sunshine, his thick, blonde hair shining and silky. In Polo and slacks, he stands out amongst the crowd in tank tops and shorts.

“Oh...well, you know...probably means more to me than it did to her.”

“No, that was pure adulation on her face. Why does she adore you?”

“Uh...what? Oh. Why does she...I am in a band. Just a local band, we do not have a lot to be excited about in Pine Grove,” I mutter, brushing it off.

“Don’t do that,” his voice is soft, patient, speaking just to me. “That was a special moment for her. We all saw that. Be kind to yourself, Debi.”

His soft voice, with a lilt I do not recognize, whispering my name feels very intimate. He even moves close, bending his head to catch my gaze. I cannot look away from his pretty eyes. It feels impossible. I move closer too, forgetting the hot sun beating down on us, the long line, and the loud crowds. For just a moment, it is just the two of us standing here.

“Even the score, handsome,” I pull some bravado out of nowhere. “You know my name...tell me yours.”

“Devin. Pleasure to meet you, Debi,” he murmurs, smiling softly.

“Want to ride with me, Devin?”

Devin’s face flushes as I turn it on high, grinning up at him as I flirt just a little. His head nods as he takes a step closer, eyes darting past me to the line. His hand touches the bare skin beneath my midriff top, and I bite back a little gasp. It feels as if I’ve been burned where he touched me.

“Yeah, Debi. I would love to ride with you. I am a little scared, never got the nerve to go on one of these before. Think you can hold my hand?”

“Only if you hold mine back.”