Space for Growth (Spire Station #3)

Chapter 9

9

A fter training Paul until he could confidently break my grapple multiple times in a row, I leave him at the crew showers to clean up while I go take care of some business. His dark eyes sparkle with the invigoration of exercise and realizing he’s not as defenseless as he’d imagined, so I don’t tell him that my business is heading directly to the med bay to do something about the pain in my back after getting slammed to the cargo bay floor over and over.

Esh’et , he got me good that last time. But it’s worth it if it helps give the fretful human a bit of confidence. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said being grappled like that is likely to end with him losing a fight, but if he thinks he has a chance he’s far more likely to survive an attack than he would be if he gave up and assumed he’d fail.

Confidence is a hell of a weapon. I should know, given that I use it as my shield when the odds are stacked against me. I don’t use it as an excuse to be reckless, but I don’t see the point of considering failure as an option. If I don’t believe in my ability to get out of a bad situation, I’ll lose the battle before it even starts.

Seeing a fraction of that confidence bloom in Paul is a heady experience. He’s radiant when he gets out of his head long enough to not think of all the reasons he’ll fail. Though, perhaps next time we train, I’ll find something to use as a mat, because a confident Paul packs a whole lot more heft than I’d anticipated.

Bret’u barely looks up from zir desk when I enter the med bay. “Headache still bothering you?” ze asks as ze swirls something around in a test tube.

“No, that’s fine. I hurt my back a bit, training Paul on some self-defense, so I’m going to hop in a medipod real quick.”

“Give me a moment and I’ll set it for you,” Bret’u says, unphased by my need for healing.

“I’ve got it. No need for you to stop what you’re doing to help me.” I wince a little as I tug off the top of my jumpsuit and tie the arms around my hips, then punch in the settings for the medipod.

“You know it’s my job to help you,” Bret’u says dryly, setting down the test tube. When ze sees my undoubtedly bruised back, ze lets out a concerned sigh. “Hadrell, that looks awful. Let me examine you first.”

“It’s fine. Looks worse than it is.” I suppress a sharp inhale when pain shoots through my back as I shrug my shoulders dismissively at zir. “A quick hop in the medipod will fix me right up.”

Ze narrows zir craggy brow at me, but I give zir a grin and step inside the medipod before ze can argue .

I don’t have time to be examined. I need to be done in here before Paul finishes showering. I don’t want him to feel any guilt for roughing me up a little. It’d hinder his training, and it wasn’t his fault.

The short cycle in the medipod dulls the pain enough that I’ll be able to make it through the rest of the day cycle without grimacing every time I move. I redress and give Bret’u a nod before heading out and down the corridor to the crew showers.

As I approach, I hear muffled voices through the door.

“Is that normal for humans?” That sounds like Rema.

“I, uh, I think it’s average?” Paul says, his voice pitched higher than usual.

“That is average? Humans must be disproportionately endowed then.”

Before I can consider my actions, I open the door to the showers and step inside.

Rema is standing under a stream of water, fully naked. Which doesn’t phase me, since I’ve seen her naked more times than I can count over the years. Her slim hip is cocked to the side as she turns away from Paul to greet me.

“Oh, hey! Have you seen this?” She inclines her chin at Paul who, vash-ka , is standing with his back close to the far wall, clasping a towel around his hips, his dark hair still damp and muscled torso flecked with droplets of water. My eyes catch on his body for far longer than is appropriate, especially when I drag them up to his face and see how flustered he looks.

“There’s nothing to see!” Paul says, clutching the towel tighter.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rema replies with a sharp grin. “Did you know humans have so much?—”

I hold up a hand and cut my friend off. “Rema, it’s not appropriate to comment on someone else’s genitalia. He’s not a spectacle to gawk at. Leave Paul alone,” I say sternly, crossing my arms over my chest.

Rema bursts out into a laugh, and Paul turns an even deeper shade of red. “Who said anything about genitals? You’ve got a dirty mind, Captain. I was inquiring about your human’s abundant amount of body hair.”

Now it’s my turn to be embarrassed, the tips of my ears tingling. “His body hair? That’s…” I can’t help looking at Paul’s mostly naked form again. To see what she’s talking about, not because the sight of his wet, toned chest and abdomen makes an ache build between my thighs. There’s a generous dusting of dark hair between his pecs and leading from his navel down beneath the towel to his…

I yank my eyes back up to Paul’s face and shrug as nonchalantly as I can manage. “It’s still not polite to comment on the differences between bodies. How would you like it if I cornered you in the showers and said that you had more saelit than I thought an average seladin did?”

Now it’s Rema’s turn to shrug. “I’d tell you to that you’ve seen my saelit already, and that it’s okay to be jealous of mine.” She gestures down at her naked body, then gives Paul a salacious grin, even though he’s pointedly avoiding looking at her.

From what I can tell, humans aren’t as comfortable with nudity as some other species. Though most people aren’t as comfortable with nudity as Rema is. She’d wander around the ship naked if she could get away with it.

“You’re willfully ignoring my point. Finish your shower and get out of here so poor Paul can finish getting clean in peace.”

Rema sighs. “Fine. Apologies if I offended you, Paul. I won’t comment on your body again. I’ll leave that to our captain here,” she says with a wink .

“It’s fine,” Paul says, clearing his throat and pointedly ignoring her suggestive comment.

I glare at Rema as she shuts off the water, then flips on the auto-dryer, her long white hair rippling out behind her as the blast of air hits it. She grabs a robe and slips it over her shoulders. “Have fun helping your human get clean,” she says with a smirk, before darting out of the room.

“I’m not going to—” I call out after her, but stop since there’s no point in arguing with her when she’s teasing me. I turn to Paul and give him an apologetic smile. “ Esh’et , I’m sorry. That was completely inappropriate. Rema doesn’t mean anything by it, but that’s no excuse.”

Paul hikes the towel a little higher on his waist, clearly uncomfortable with me being in here with him while he’s undressed. “Sorry, I’ll go too. Take as long as you need. I won’t let anyone come in.”

“It’s fine, really. I was done, just need to dry off and get dressed.”

“Ah okay. Well…” I linger by the door like an idiot, like him telling me it’s okay is an invitation to stay and watch said drying off and redressing.

Paul shifts in place awkwardly before clearing his throat. “Uh, what… sorry if this is an inappropriate thing to ask, but what are saelit ? It didn’t translate.”

I smile at his bashful question and take a step closer, then roll up one of my sleeves to expose my forearms. “That’s the word for our markings,” I say, turning my arm so the back of it is facing him and gesturing to the dotted pattern on my skin.

“Oh…” Paul reaches a tentative hand out toward them, then quickly drops it and looks away. “Sorry! Now who’s being rude? ”

“Not rude. You can touch if you’d like, though I fear they’re not much different from the rest of my skin.

“Are you sure?” Paul asks, brow furrowing.

I step closer and take his free hand in mine, bringing it up to my exposed markings. “Absolutely. Touch me as much as you’d like.”

The furious blush that peeks out from beneath Paul’s beard makes me smile. I hadn’t meant to sound so suggestive. I chuckle softly. “So, what do you think?”

His soft fingertips slide hesitantly across one of my markings. “They’re so beautiful,” he says, sounding almost reverent. Like he hadn’t meant to speak the words aloud.

Something warm flutters in my chest. “Thanks,” I murmur.

He’s so close that it would be easy to draw him against me and kiss his plush lips. Find out what his beard would feel like scraping against my cheek. But I can’t. He’s my responsibility, and adding something physical between us would deepen the tangled mess we’ve found ourselves in. Never mind that he might still not be fully convinced that he’s not a captive at my mercy. If I kiss him, how could I be sure he wants it too and isn’t going along with it because he thinks it will keep him safe?

I step back and let my arm drop away, looking down at the floor.

“Shit, sorry, did that hurt?”

I look back up at him, sliding a calm mask across my face so he doesn’t see the inappropriate desire rising inside me. “No, not at all. It, uh, tickled a little,” I lie.

“Oh…” Paul swallows heavily. “Are they sensitive?”

Not really, but I can’t help imagining that it would feel amazing to have Paul’s inquisitive touch tracing every last saelit on my body. “No more than touching other skin. They’re pigmentation more than anything. Good for when my ancestors evolved in the bioluminescent forests of Sela 1.”

“That makes sense. Rema thinks I have a lot of body hair, but that’s nothing compared to early humans.”

“Your body hair is nice,” I blurt. “In an aesthetic sense, that is.”

“Uh, thanks,” Paul says with a bemused chuckle. “A lot of humans like to remove theirs because they don’t think it’s aesthetically pleasing, so it’s nice to know it’s not repulsive to a non-human eye.”

“It’s not.” It looks soft. I want to run my fingers across the hair beneath his navel and trace it down to his cock.

Esh’et , no, I don’t. I can’t do that.

“Well, I’ll let you get dressed! See you out there,” I say with an exaggerated smile, rushing out of the room before I can form any more lascivious thoughts about the man.

When I’m out in the corridor, I slump against the wall with a groan, running a hand through my hair.

“Everything okay, Captain?”

I startle at Val’s voice, and straighten up, giving the vuloi a smile as she approaches. “Yep!”

She nods, but the slight furrow between her columns of eyes shows I’m being less than convincing. “Alright.” She heads toward the door to the crew showers and I hold my hands up, rushing in front of her to block it with my body.

“Wait!”

“Captain?” she asks, blinking down at me in alarm.

“Sorry, Paul is in there. He’ll be out soon, if you don’t mind waiting.”

“Oh, of course,” she says, her surprise melting into understanding. “I know it’s quite an adjustment using communal bathing facilities. Back when I was at the conservatory, I had my own bathing suite. The thought of showering beside other vuloi, let alone aliens, would’ve scandalized me back then.”

“Thank you for understanding,” I say with an appreciative pat on her arm. “By the way, I can get on Tari to set up the ensuite shower you requested. We’ve had the parts for months, so she should’ve done it by now.” I’ve been so busy that it slipped my mind until she mentioned it. Great. Another thing to be frustrated with my ship’s mechanic about.

Val stiffens at the mention of the flaky nexxit and shakes her head adamantly. “That’s not necessary. I don’t need special treatment. And I don’t want to bother Tari any more than I already do.”

I want to ask more about what in the void is going on between them, but Paul emerges from the room behind me, dressed and dry. He startles a little when he finds me and Val standing right in front of the entryway.

“We’ll talk later,” I say, patting Val on the arm.

She gives me a polite smile. “Of course, Captain.”

“Hadrell,” I say. I wish I could get her to relax enough to use my name.

“Yes, Captain.”

I sigh as she heads into the showers.

Paul’s lips quirk. “Should I call you Captain, too?”

A vision of him sprawled out on my bed, asking me if there’s anything he can do to serve his captain, flashes through my mind. Vash-ka , I need to stop thinking about him like that. Maybe find someone to fuck and relieve some of this tension with once we dock at the station we’re headed to.

“No!” I say forcefully.

Paul snorts. “You sure, Captain ?”

“Positive,” I croak.

Yes, I definitely need to get laid.