Chapter 23
MONTE CARLO, MONACO
W hen, exactly, had Indigo Bailey become an addiction?
It was never supposed to happen. Or perhaps it had always been bound to happen, and he needed to stop fighting the temptation.
As Miles stood in the archway leading to Thiago’s rooftop, his hands in the pockets of his pants and his head leaned against the doorframe, he watched Indy be the life of the party. She danced to the beat of the music, grabbing Ava’s hand to make her spin around.
Miles glanced at Rowan, who was sitting on a lounge chair, elbows atop his thighs as he smiled at Ava. Miles was genuinely happy for his publicist; she deserved that kind of fierce, unwavering love.
He remembered when they were merely eight years old that they’d agreed to marry each other if they were still single by the time they were thirty. He winced at the memory. Ava had always felt like a sister to him.
But it was Indy who grabbed his attention as she tugged Alex from where he’d been playing a drinking game with the other guys. His hand found the small of her back, hers looping around the back of his neck as they danced too close to one another, laughing.
Miles narrowed his gaze and loosened his tie, suddenly feeling like he was suffocating when Alex dipped his mouth to Indy’s ear to whisper something that made her giggle.
Indy had gone back to the penthouse to change into some short, tight dress, while he’d gone to Thiago’s flat.
Maybe he should’ve followed her.
Should've ripped the gala dress off of her.
Should’ve taken her against the window and shown Alex fucking Myers who owned her.
Especially when she had sent him a photo of herself sitting on the edge of her bed, leaning on a hand as a thigh was placed atop the other. The skirt had hiked up so high that he had asked if she were wearing any underwear. Do you think I want to walk around with a panty line? Get your shit together, stud , had been her response. Miles had to retreat to the bathroom to arrange his erection, but only after he’d sent back a mirror selfie, his arousal clearly noticeable.
And Miles had expected her to come up to him at some point during the gala, to whisper in his ear that she dared him to slip his hand between her thighs and find how ready she was.
But she never did.
That’s what he got for avoiding her all night long. For sitting at another table, keeping himself busy with other athletes. Because many lines would have been crossed if he’d stayed in her vicinity.
And now, she was in another man’s arms. Laughing. Dancing. Whispering in his ear.
Indy squeezed Alex’s bicep as she talked, his hand drifting to the curve of her ass as his gaze locked with Miles’.
Oh, hell no.
He was done with this shit show.
“You look pathetic,” Charlie said, clapping him on the chest as he went inside.
He blew out a breath, undoing the first few buttons of his shirt and rolling the sleeves up to his elbows. “Thanks.”
“What’s up with you, anyway? You just won, like, five hundred bucks because of that bet.”
Despite complaining about being bored to her core, Indy had proved to Miles everything he already knew about her—that she was fiercely loyal, and that she never backed out from a challenge. Miles knew he’d been right to have faith in her.
Miles turned around, following Charlie into the kitchen. He didn’t need to witness Alex touching his Daisy any longer. He rubbed his face, groaning. “Nothing. What’s going on with you?”
If Indy was the female representation of pure sunshine, Charlie was her male equal. But lately, Miles had noticed a shift in his demeanour—his smiles were forced, his mind was absent, and his eyes didn’t hold the joy he’d been used to seeing.
“Just going through some tough times,” Charlie said, pouring himself another glass of whiskey.
“Is this about racing?”
The entire world knew how pressured Charlie felt. With his contract with Imperium Racing ending next season, rumours going around that he would be replaced soon by another driver who could win a championship, and threats by his own team principal that he needed to win soon to keep his seat; it was evident that he wasn’t doing okay.
“Nah,” Charlie mumbled. “It’s uh, we really don’t need to talk about it.”
“It’s your choice. I won’t force you. But you know I’m here, right?”
“Yeah, I know. Actually, I think you deserve to know.” There were a few beats of silence as Charlie stared at his glass, his jaw tightening. “I found my girlfriend of almost two years banging some random guy a couple of months ago…”
“Ah, man…” Miles pulled his teammate in, patting his back in comfort. Charlie dropped his forehead on his shoulder, sighing with sadness and defeat. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m never around, so maybe it was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t. It’s her loss.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m telling myself. I was good to her. I gave her everything she wanted.” Charlie’s eyes were glossy as they pulled away. “My mind just keeps replaying this moment where I found them in my bed. I’m so disgusted. It’s been months, and I should move on. But she texted me tonight and I guess the memories just came back.”
“I’m not the best when it comes to relationship advice, but the fact she messaged you after what she’s done is shitty. You shouldn’t blame yourself, and you’re allowed to have a hard time moving on. But I thought you had a thing for A?da Romano? I mean, don’t get me wrong, but the way you looked at her a few weeks ago when we went out…”
Charlie’s cheeks flushed. “A?da and I were a thing a few years back, but I fucked up with her, and some part of myself can’t let her go. You know when you feel like your heart belongs to one person, and no matter what forces you to be away from that person, you refuse to give it out to someone else? You know when you feel like you’ve loved one person for so long that the thought of having feelings for someone else makes you sick?”
Miles nodded absently, his gaze slipping to the balcony where Indy was still dancing. He felt his heart drum hastily, an invisible thread pulling him towards her, but he was resisting, again, and again, and again.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” Charlie continued, “I loved Daniella, but…”
His voice became distant as Miles kept his gaze on Indy shining brighter than stars.
Of course, he knew the feeling all too well. His heart craved for her so fiercely, so violently, that it was near impossible to deny how drawn he was to her. The initial attraction he shared for Indy had turned into longing and adoration, had bled into his very bones and soul, had utterly shattered him, and yet he wanted more .
But for how long would he be able to pretend he didn’t want anything from her? That he didn’t want her?
Fuck . He needed to put an end to his misery.
Miles was staring at the bouquet adorning the centre of the island when Indy stepped inside the penthouse.
“Ah, it’s you.” She sighed after uttering those words as she walked towards him, those long legs taunting him.
He almost chuckled at the faux annoyance etched on her face. “You look so thrilled to see me.”
When she came to stand by his side to fill her empty glass with tap water, a zip of electricity coursed through him. He didn’t move, and she didn’t either.
“I’m actually surprised to see that you’re still here.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning down at her.
Indy pivoted to face him. “You’ve been ignoring me.”
Dropping his head, he sighed. “Don’t be like this, Indy. All cameras were pointed at you all night long, and everyone was looking at you. You don’t need my attention. Besides, it looks like Alex is taking great care of you.”
The simple thought of Alex having his hands on Indy made a lump rise in the back of his throat. The way he touched her. The way he smiled down at her. Miles thought Indy had no interest in Alex, but perhaps he’d been wrong the whole time.
Indy set her glass down, her tongue making a brief appearance to wet her lips. He looked at her full mouth, and he almost made the distance between them go away. But he refused to succumb because he didn’t want to kiss her. Didn’t want it to be fuelled by recklessness. He wanted the kiss to mean everything to her.
Indy stepped closer, the space between their chests so minimal that if he exhaled, his torso would touch hers. “Does it piss you off to see me with him?”
Miles was done with her games. His jaw tightened. “It fucking kills me, Indigo.”
“Are you jealous?”
He smirked. “Is this what you’re playing at? Trying to make me jealous by showing me any man can have his hands on you?”
Victory gleamed in her gaze. “Is it working?”
Swiftly, he caught her waist and pinned her to the counter. A gasp got stuck in her throat, and he wondered if she’d emit this sound if he kissed her. His hips pressed into hers as he stared into her eyes. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I don’t get you, Huxley.”
“There’s nothing to understand?—”
“No, you don’t get to do that.” When her hands pushed at his chest, he didn’t budge, only pressing his fingers into her clothed flesh, making her chest heave as her stare dropped to his mouth. “You were all over me in the dressing room, ready to fuck me. You couldn’t stop touching me on the red carpet, like you wanted to show everyone that I’m yours. You couldn’t stop looking at me, yet you stayed away during the entire event. You bought my painting for three million euros, for fuck’s sake! But once we’re here, with just our friends, you avoid me. You don’t talk to me. You let me be in another man’s arms like it doesn’t bother you. Are you embarrassed? Ashamed of me? Of being attracted to someone who’s so messy and imperfect? Is that?—”
“I don’t trust myself when I’m around you, Indy,” he interrupted in a low voice. “I feel like I’m losing control whenever you’re near me.”
It was barely noticeable, but her shoulders dropped. “What are you so afraid of?”
Everything.
He was terrified of losing her.Losing control over himself. Ruining everything between them.
Of not being enough for her. Not being worthy of her.
Of falling in love—because Miles knew nothing of love. And Indy deserved the kind of loud, burning red love.
“What’s so bad about wanting me?” Her voice cracked, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. She was hurt, and it was all because of him. “Am I only desirable for just one night, is that it?"
He let a deep breath out, his forehead falling on hers. “Can we talk about it when you’re not drunk?”
Indy shoved him away, hard. “I’ve sobered up. God, you make me mad. Why do you keep running away when you’re about to break? Can’t you understand that I’m on the same boat as you?”
“This is beyond simply wanting you,” he confessed, passing his hands through his hair.
“And that’s fine! Just stop fighting it.”
He swallowed the tight, uncomfortable knot. “If you were willing to go to Alex’s, then just?—”
Indy turned around, but he didn’t miss the pain in her eyes. “I can’t do this. I’m going home.”
Home .
He didn’t know why, but hearing this word coming out of her mouth cemented something in him.
“Indy—”
She lifted a hand. “No, Huxley. Stop. Yes, I tried making you jealous. And yes I’m trying to piss you off because the only thing I want to know is whether you want me or not. It seems like you don’t, so there, I have my answer.” She tripped on her way out, cursing. Miles rushed to her as she took her heels off. “I’m just so tired.”
The anguish and fatigue in her voice made his chest ache.He was the cause of this pain.
She was tired of waiting for him. For always making the first move, and he realised he’d been a fool all along. She’d always been there, right before his eyes, but his focus had been elsewhere. The damages he’d done almost shattered him to irreparable pieces.
He caught her elbow, then hooked an arm beneath her knees, the other under her back as he carried her towards the lift.Hopefully, Alex was watching and understood that Miles was Indy’s man. That Indy was his .
“I’m angry at you.” Still, she held on tight. Still, she placed her head on his shoulder. “This game is stupid.”
“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” There was a voice reminding him that she was the one who’d started it all, who wanted to see who would resist the longest, but he didn’t comment on it. Obviously, this game had wrecked them more than intended, and Miles didn’t want to hurt her any more.
Her ear rested against his thumping heart as he crossed the road. As he dipped his chin in a curt nod at Teddy who opened the door. As he stood in the lift, holding her tightly against him.
“For the record,” he murmured, “I hate seeing you with someone else.” He set her down in front of her bedroom, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before grabbing her chin. “I hate that he got to touch you and make you laugh. I hate that you make me feel this way.”
“Is that it? You’re scared of just feeling ?” The thing was, with her, he felt too much. So much. And it terrified him. When he didn’t dare voice his answer, she continued. “Let me ask you something.”
His heart stalled. Was she about to invite him inside her room?
She studied his expression, the emotions in his eyes, the desperation in his trembling hands. “I always thought you simply wanted to stay friends. Why admit you didn’t like seeing me with Alex?”
He gripped her jaw, perusing those lovely lips. “Do friends do what we do, Indy? Do friends send each other sensual pictures? Do they tease and flirt and touch the way we do? Seeing you with Alex only made me realise that I’m sick of pretending. I’m sick of being just your friend, and trust me, I’ve been feeling this way long before he got to put his hands on you tonight.”
“Huxley,” she breathed, his name echoing like a plea. “Just say it.”
He released her face, distancing himself from the devastating woman. “I dream of tasting you. Fucking you. I’d love nothing more than to make you understand that the word friends doesn’t work with us.” His chest heaved in perfect sync with hers, his pulse erratic and deafening. “But right now, I’m going to ask you to go into your room and lock the door.”
She didn’t ask questions. Didn’t let her expression break.
With her shoes in hand, she stepped into her bedroom. Rapidly, she cast a quick glance his way, then disappeared through the darkness.
Miles waited for the lock to click, but the sound never resonated.
Maybe it was time for Miles to be selfish and take what he wanted.