Splintered Hearts

Thirteen

Noah

“No. Nope. No fucking way.”

“Mark—”

“It’s not happening.” I glance to the side, watching Hunter hold onto his final nerve with both hands. He probably just wants me to get the fuck out already.

Samesies.

When I woke up this morning, I exited their bed before Mark saw me sleeping between them. I texted Jamie, and he told me to come whenever Mark was done yelling.

“Be realistic. I can’t keep sleeping on your couch.” Maybe I should have given him more warning before waking up to all my things by the door, but sometimes with Mark it works best when you rip the bandage off quickly. I am not giving him a chance to talk me out of it.

Maybe this is reckless, but I can’t ignore the logic of it all. Jamie’s house is cheap and close. It’s near town, so I can walk or get a ride that won’t break the bank if I get a job—maybe even at the library. Jamie even mentioned a bus that passes through during the day.

This is happening.

“Take some time to think about this. There’s no rush, alright. We don’t mind.”

“I mind a little,” Hunter says softly. Mark turns on his boyfriend with a look that could wither. “Oh, sorry. I mean, I love having another person here after I just finally moved in with my boyfriend of over three years. Dream come true.”

“What’s wrong with Noah staying here?”

My skin starts to itch. The last thing I want is for these two to fight. “That’s not what he’s saying.” Hunter’s eyes land on me apologetically. I understand it. It’s clear. Why it’s not clear to my best friend is a mystery. It’s like he’s trying to keep me here.

I’ve had enough. This is happening, whether Mark wants it to or not. I’m done letting anyone else dictate what I do with my life. “Hunter is taking me, now.”

“No.” Mark folds his arms over his chest like a petulant child and I roll my eyes.

“Yes, I am.” Hunter stands, his eyes weary.

“No, he’s not.”

“Noah’s a big boy. He can make his own decisions.” I open my mouth and Hunter jabs a finger at me. “Not one word.”

I grin, trying to lighten the tension. “Praise me again, Daddy,” I whisper.

“Baby, please! I need to get him the fuck out of this house,” Hunter whines in a very un-daddy-like tone.

“This is a terrible idea.”

“What is he going to do? Honestly. What is the worst that could happen? I lived with him for years. Besides, I need to get the rest of my shit anyway.”

“Noah, you aren’t doing this. That’s final! This is a mistake.”

“You are not my father.”

“Noah—”

“I am an adult. This is the most logical solution to all our problems. It’s not far. You know Jamie. I’m safe, whether you like it or not. Hunter even paid the first two months rent when he left, so I have time to find a job. And I may even have that lined up.”

Mark’s eyes swing to Hunter. “You did what?”

“I didn’t... I didn’t do that.” Mark’s face grows stormier. “I didn’t, babe. I promise.”

That was weird, because Hunter always told the truth. “Maybe I misunderstood.” Grabbing my phone, I look at the text. Nope. Jamie definitely said that. Why is Hunter lying?

Whatever, it doesn’t matter.

“I’ll be fine, okay? Calm down.”

“You don’t need that kind of bullshit right now.”

“Is living alone with me really that bad?” Hunter snaps. “Ever since I moved in you’ve been actively trying to keep Noah here. He wants to leave. I want him to leave! No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Does the idea of being alone with me scare you that bad?”

“Of course I want to be alone with you.“

“Do you? That’s not how you’re acting. Noah is fine with this. What the fuck do you think Jamie’s going to do to him?”

“Anything and everything if I’m lucky.” They both glare at me. “Sorry. Continue fighting.”

“How about taking my side for once? That would be new. Between Jamie and me, it’s always Jamie.”

“Sounds really fucking familiar, doesn’t it?” Hunter yells. Closing his eyes, he takes a breath. “I don’t want to fight. Noah can do whatever he wants to. This is his choice, not ours.” He glares hard at Mark, and the room becomes uncomfortable. Hunter rolls his eyes, grabbing Mark’s wrist and tugging him roughly onto his lap as my friend pouts and looks away. “This is going to be okay. It’s not like Noah’s going to walk into that house and sit on his dick.”

“Of course not!” Seriously, who does he think I am? “I always say hello first. That would just be rude.”

Mark softens. “It’s not that I’m worried about you, Noah. I’m worried about how he’s going to treat you.” The only thing this conversation’s doing is making me want to talk to Jamie even more.

“He’s not that bad,” Hunter says. “He’s just—”

“Been through a lot,” Mark mocks. “Doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole.”

While I have to agree, I also know Mark better than anyone. Once he’s mad at you, that’s it. There’s no going back. Hunter is more easygoing. Grabbing my phone, I see a message from Jamie.

Jamie: Are you coming?

Noah: Not yet, but hopefully soon if you’re up for it

Jamie: Funny

Noah: I’m serious

Jamie: Mark pissed?

Noah: Elated actually. Currently planning my going-away party

Jamie: That bad

Noah: Mom and Dad are fighting right now

“What are you doing?”

“Telling Jamie I’ll be over once you’re done treating me like a child.” Tucking my phone away, I give my bestie a huge grin. “Look, I know you think this is a bad idea, and if you bring up that one time in college again I will stop talking to you for a while because that’s not fair and I think you know it’s different.”

“College?” Hunter looks confused.

“Derrick.” It’s all I say and all I need to. Hunter’s brows pinch before turning on Mark, and yeah, that was a low blow to bring up but I needed to. Mark comparing this situation to that is unfair. That was years ago, and yeah, I fucked up with a guy Mark warned me against.

A huge mistake that could have turned catastrophic if it wasn’t for him saving me, even at the risk of his relationship with Hunter. That’s a story for another day. “Are you seriously comparing Jamie to a rapist?”

“It’s not like that. I was just saying—”

Knocking Mark off his lap, Hunter stands. “Let’s go, Noah.”

“Hunter—”

Maybe I’ve made this worse, but seeing Hunter this mad only confirms for me that Jamie’s not like that at all. The hurt on his face is clear. “I’m going to take him and when I get back we need to talk.”

Mark flinches. “Are... are you breaking up with—”

“Will you grow up! No. Noah, get your shit and go to my car. I’m fucking mad and we need to talk about it. Not right now. I’m mad, and I love you. I don’t want to hurt you by saying shit I don’t mean.”

Mark concedes, turning his glare on me. “Have fun with your new roommate.”

“Mark—”

Ignoring me, Mark walks down the hall and toward his game room. I knew he wasn’t going to throw me a going away party, but this is insane.

Hunter shakes his head. “He’ll get over it.”

After one of the most uncomfortable rides ever, Hunter picks up the rest of his things without saying much to either of us, and when Jamie asks, I just shake my head. “They’ll be fine.” I hope.

Jamie shows me around the house, and damn, talking on the phone had been easy, but being here now I feel a little awkward. Maybe I’m just nervous. That’s it. Nerves. It isn’t my fault I’m hyperaware of every movement he makes as he shows me where everything is.

Reaching Hunter’s old room, he lets me pass through to look around the space. “The bed is new, right?”

“Uh, yeah it is.” Okay, good. Not that I’m too worried, but sleeping on the same bed Hunter and Mark used does not have any appeal for me. “So, how mad was Mark?” I give him a look and Jamie smiles. “That bad?”

“He’s still pissed after I gave you the best orgasm you’ve ever had.”

“It was okay.” He shrugs and I nearly laugh.

“Just okay?” Jamie nods, but I can see the playful gleam in his eye and like that he’s trying to appear unaffected. “What about the way I wrapped my lips around your cock? Just okay?” His eyes dart away, and yeah, I have him right where I want him. “The way I moaned around you as I swallowed your load.” Watching his Adam’s apple bob, I smile. “Your hips jerked, fingers fisted in my hair.”

“Noah—” He looks down, and I see him shift away.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Bed, dresser, desk. That’s what’s in here. If you need anything else, just let me know. I can even get you a bookshelf if you want.”

Changing the subject. Got it. Fine. I’ll let him have his way, for now. “Why did you tell me Hunter had paid the first two months when he left? He doesn’t remember doing that.” Jamie’s brows pinch. “You’re not lying to me are you?” His eyes widen in mock innocence, and I wait.

“Well... I just... I mean, I...” I walk Jamie back until he hits the wall. Curious eyes search me, and fuck, that feeling I had weeks ago when I’d had Jamie like this come back. Sinking between his thighs. Slipping down his sweats. The way he’d sprung out, nearly hitting my chin. I want that again. Tilting his head to look at me, his breathing is ragged. I love having this effect on him.

“Maybe...” God, he smells good. “Just maybe...” My fingers walk up his broad chest, not so subtly brushing one of his nipples. He sucks in a breath and the action sends blood straight to my dick. “That desperate to have me here?” Jamie’s eyes don’t move away from mine, but I see them flicker quickly between my eyes and mouth. “Come here.”

I see the moment those brown eyes shift from nerves to lust as Jamie leans down and presses his lips to mine. Losing myself, I feel a groan rumble in my chest. Soft and sweet, his mouth works mine deliciously, and fuck, his taste hits me like a drug. Has kissing ever felt this good? Shit, I don’t think so. My palms smooth up his chest, my eyes opening wide as my fingers brush something hard. Another piercing?

Jamie whimpers, catching my wrist. “Wa-wait.” Taking a breath, I step back to give him some breathing room—give both of us some much needed space because fuck. “I didn’t mean to lie, but... I just... I mean, I own this house and—” Jamie curses. “I own it, and it’s not a lot, but like, I know you don’t have a job and you probably want to worry about that first. I mean, I wanted to give you some time before you paid and I... I mean... I didn’t mean to lie, I just—”

“Take a breath.” Laughing, Jamie does just that.

“I know why you got kicked out.” What the fuck. “I’m sorry I lied, but I didn’t want you to worry about it. I don’t need it right away, it’s—” Clutching his chest, Jamie looks like he’s about to pass out, but all I can think of is the shame that hits me.

What the fuck?

Is that what all this is? Pity?

Jamie pities me.

Where’s my bag? Finding it, I reach in and grab my jar. How could I be so fucking stupid? “How much is rent?”

“What?”

“Rent. How much per month?”

“Oh, well... I mean, we’re just splitting utilities. I figure food, we can—”

“How . . . much?”

Jamie’s brow furrows. “About three—”

“Not about. How much?”

“Three fifty in the summer, and roughly six to seven in the winter time because of the heat. We have electric heat, and Hunter and I always split it.”

“When does that start?”

I should hide the fact that I have a huge jar of money, but I’m too pissed to think logically. “What are you doing?” Ignoring him, I count, before putting the jar away and shoving the wad of cash against Jamie’s chest.

“There.”

“What . . . what is this?”

“Seven hundred dollars. Next two months rent.”

“Wait, you don’t have to—”

“I don’t need your help!”

“That’s not—”

“I need to unpack. Please get out.” Jamie just stands there, and it takes all I have not to give in to the heat behind his eyes. Embarrassment makes my skin itch.

“Noah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine. Just please. I want to unpack.” Turning away from him, I finally hear him concede, shutting the door softly.

Sinking onto my bed, I take a shaky breath. I’ve tried so hard these last few weeks to forget about what happened. It still hurts, but Jamie pitying me feels even worse. This was supposed to be a fresh start.

Great job.