Split or Swallow

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“Are you saying we’re engaged? ”

The room grew suddenly warmer. Tem could hardly breathe.

“No,” Caspen said quickly. “You would need to accept the proposal in order for us to be engaged.”

“Oh,” said Tem, still reeling from this revelation.

Now Rowe’s extreme reaction to the necklace made sense. Surely a basilisk and human pairing was uncommon, or even frowned upon.

“Well…” she said slowly. “…I accept.”

To Tem’s surprise, Caspen’s face darkened.

“You cannot accept.”

“Excuse me?”

“What I mean to say is, you cannot accept. My quiver, should they approve the match, would accept on your behalf.”

Tem absorbed this information. It was utterly bizarre: she’d never heard of someone being unable to accept their own proposal. It begged the obvious question:

“Will they approve the match?”

“I very much doubt it.”

“ Excuse me? ” she said again.

“Tem,” he took her hands in his. “It is not personal. Basilisks and humans rarely mate. What we have is unusual, and my quiver will be wary of it.”

Tem was still trying to process the fact that Caspen had proposed to her. She thought back to when he’d given her the necklace: it was the morning after he’d touched her for the very first time. He’d made her come, and she’d done the same for him. Afterward, they’d shared their first meal together. Tem remembered how electrifying their connection had been that night: how exhilarating and significant it had felt to bring each other to orgasm. That night had meant a lot to her. Only now did she realize it had meant even more to Caspen.

There was one last thing Tem needed to know.

“How long have you loved me?”

Caspen held her gaze as he whispered:

“Far longer than you have loved me.”

Tem wondered just how long that was.

Was it the moment she’d touched herself in front of him? Or earlier, when she’d first taken off her clothes in the cave? Or earlier still, when he’d visited her in her dreams? Had he known then that he loved her? Had she known too?

Caspen had always been an anomaly to her: a creature far beyond anything Tem could encapsulate with mere words. It shouldn’t surprise her that things had progressed for him in a way she never could have predicted. There was no point in trying to comprehend a basilisk. And yet, Tem was not afraid of his declaration. She was not afraid of him . She never had been. Caspen had always treated her as his equal, despite the inequity between them. He was the only one who built her up—who told her, constantly, that she was enough.

As they looked at each other, something blossomed in Tem’s heart. There was a sincerity to his gesture that she appreciated more than he would ever know. To be told she was someone’s future wasn’t something Tem had ever expected to hear. She thought girls like Vera were the only ones who could catch the eye of a man—that every other girl in the world was worthy of affection but her. Caspen had shown her that wasn’t true. He’d opened her up—in more ways than one—and she would be forever changed because of it.

Caspen wore an expression of obvious caution, no doubt waiting to see how she would react to what he’d just told her. There was no reason to make him wait any longer.

Tem stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

Caspen met her lips with his, pulling her into his arms with monstrous strength. The kiss was everything she needed and more. It was confirmation that the risks they were taking were worth it—that they would always choose each other despite everything standing in their way.

The kiss deepened. Tem grabbed at every part of him—pulling him against her—wishing she could consume him. Everything about him made her feral, like an untamed animal that had just been let out of its cage. She focused on nothing but Caspen—pushing away everything that happened tonight—pouring herself into this moment until she was blind with desire. Her hands slid down his trousers to feel his cock. As soon as she touched him, he pulled away.

“Tem,” his voice was strained. “We should not.”

“Why not?”

Caspen brushed his fingers gently over her bottom lip.

“It is too easy for me to lose control around you.”

Tem remembered how he’d bitten her last time. How he drew blood.

“You love me,” she said.

“I do.”

She leaned into his touch. His eyes were turning black.

“So control it.”

His thumb pulled at her lip, opening it.

“I cannot,” he whispered.

Her hand returned to his trousers, but he stopped her before she could pull them down.

“Tem,” he said firmly. “I do not trust myself.”

“ I trust you.”

Caspen only shook his head.

“I have done nothing to earn it.”

“But you love me,” she said again.

“My love for you is my burden to bear.”

At his words, she pulled abruptly away.

“I’m a burden to you?”

“No,” he said. “Of course not. That is not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

He tilted his head to the ceiling as if asking Kora for answers.

“I mean that I never should have let this happen.”

She yanked herself from his grasp.

“Then why did you let it happen?”

“Because I am weak. ”

Caspen practically yelled it. Tem stepped back in shock. He stepped closer.

“I am weak when it comes to you, Tem. I cannot control my actions. I cannot follow logic or reason. All I think about isyou. I wonder what you are doing and who you are doing it with. I obsess over every moment you are with the human prince, and I want to rip his head from his shoulders every time he touches you. It is not rational. It is not acceptable. But it is my reality, and there is nothing I can do about it.”

Tem felt suddenly faint.

“Is loving me really so horrible?” she whispered.

“Of course not.”

“Are you saying I make you weak?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Then what are you saying? Are you angry with me?”

“ No .”

“Is that the only word you know? Because—”

“ Tem ,” he placed his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. “I am not angry with you. I am angry with myself. I should have known better. I am the one who gave in to temptation. That is what I mean when I say I am weak.”

“Temptation? Is that what I am?”

His grip tightened on her shoulders.

“Temptation, salvation, heaven, hell. You are everything, Tem. You are my undoing. You are beyond comprehension. There are no sufficient words to describe you, either in my language or yours.”

His hands moved to her face, cupping her jaw.

“My compass points to you. I could not change direction even if I wanted to.”

Tem stared into his eyes, losing herself in those bottomless black pools.

Her compass pointed to him too. It always had. They were drawn together by something bigger than themselves—something neither of them could control or reverse. Tem knew the future would not be easy for them. But she also knew there was nobody else she wanted a future with. It was the easiest thing in the world to lean in and kiss him again.

Caspen’s lips were soft, his body hard.

Even beneath his mask of restraint, Tem could feel how much he wanted her. His skin was just as hot as the flames in the fireplace, singeing her wherever she touched him. Rather than try to undress him again, Tem undressed herself, pulling off the white linen and letting it fall to the ground. Caspen’s eyes slid over her naked body, drinking in every inch of her skin.

Beautiful.

Suddenly, the barrier between them was down. His voice returned to her mind, and with it, his entire presence. Tem welcomed him easily, opening up her consciousness to accommodate his, savoring the way his mind intertwined with hers. Caspen’s hands went to her waist, tracing her curves with just his fingertips. Then he dug into the soft flesh of her hips, lifting her and setting her on the bed.

This time when Tem pulled down his trousers, he didn’t stop her. As soon as his cock was exposed, she leaned forward to taste him. Caspen held her back, remaining standing at the edge of the bed.

Turn around.

Tem turned around. A moment later his hands were on her shoulders, pulling her down so she was flat on her back, her neck arched over the edge of the mattress. Caspen brushed a single finger along her throat, coaxing her head back even further. From this angle, he looked like a monument. For him, the view was even better. Tem wondered if he liked her this way—her whole body laid out before him—every inch of her exposed for him to see. Caspen cradled her head in his hands.

Hold still for me.

Tem relaxed into his grip as his thumbs framed the center of her throat. Slow?l?y, patiently, he slid his cock into her mouth. She closed her eyes as he went deeper, letting him hold her in place, content to do nothing but feel how he filled her.

In and out, in and out, steady as a heartbeat.

The claw began to pulse, and immediately, Tem was aroused. Her nipples peaked, and she touched them tentatively.

Yes, Tem.

She remembered that Caspen was watching her—that she had his undivided attention—that he was looking down at everything she was doing. The thought was electrifying.

Tem squeezed her breasts. Perhaps it was her imagination, but she swore Caspen became even harder. His cock was like marble in her throat, a formidable column in limitless motion. The pulses were relentless; her back arched as her clitoris throbbed with need.

Take it out.

Tem felt for the tip of the claw, hooking her finger around it and pulling it out.

Touch yourself.

Caspen’s commands were sharp and desperate. He needed this.

Tem had to concentrate in order to obey. It required all of her focus to keep her throat relaxed for him while using her hands on herself. But after a moment, it became second nature. There was nothing easier than bringing herself pleasure, and there was nothing better than doing it in front of Caspen. The room grew warmer as she slipped her fingers deep between her legs. Caspen groaned, his cock pushing even further into her mouth. His hands left her neck and found her breasts, teasing her nipples and flicking them with his fingers. She moaned around his cock. It was nearly agony to be stimulated in so many places at once. Being with Caspen was always like this—always new, always overwhelming—almost too much for her to handle. But Tem liked it that way. She liked how Caspen pushed her to her limits, because she knew she did the same to him. Their relationship had never been one-sided; he was just as addicted as she was.

Suddenly, Caspen’s fingers joined hers. The angle of his cock changed as he leaned down over her, cupping her hands with his and pushing them both deeper. Tem relinquished control, letting him guide her, letting him pump their fingers in and out together. But soon, even that wasn’t enough. Caspen’s hands gripped her thighs, pulling them all the way apart. He leaned down even further, and she lifted her hips to meet him. His tongue found the very center of her, and Tem slipped away into paradise.

There was nowhere to hide, no way to resist. Tem could only surrender to the suffocating closeness , threading her fingers into Caspen’s hair and holding his head between her legs so he was just as anchored as she was. His cock was all the way down her throat. His torso was flat against hers, his body pressing her into the bed. They were perfectly aligned—an endless circle of completion with no beginning and no end. They were one body. There was no difference between her needs and his. She used him just as he used her, both of them experiencing pleasure in a never-ending loop. Caspen’s teeth teased her clitoris as his tongue sank into her wetness. His groans vibrated against her chest, his ascension imminent.

Tem could tell Caspen was close. Yet she had to know:

Do I have you?

His fingers contracted on her thighs.

You have me.

A split second later, Caspen came.

For the first time, Tem tasted him— all of him. His cum was warm and soft and smooth , flowing down her throat like melted gold. She swallowed it all, eager to possess everything he was willing to give her. His cock was still in her mouth when her own orgasm arrived. Caspen groaned again, and Tem knew he was swallowing her too. She shuddered as he licked her, savoring her wetness with deep, sensual strokes. Then he stood upright, pulling his cock slowly out of her mouth. When he finally released her, Tem sat up, turning to look at him.

His eyes were black, his chest slick with sweat. Tem was sweating too, she realized, and her neck ached from holding such an unnatural angle for so long. But she didn’t mind. She liked feeling the effects of sex on her body—liked the way Caspen left his mark on her.

He was already reaching for her, pulling her into a kiss.

They kissed slowly, discovering the way they tasted together. Tem sucked gently on his lower lip. He did the same. Their mouths became gorgeously intertwined, and Tem could feel his tongue splitting in two as smoke rose from his shoulders. She kissed him deeper, pressing her body fully against his torso as his hands tangled in her hair. There was only one thing she wanted, and she spoke it into his mind:

More.

But Caspen pulled away.

“I already told you, Tem. We should not.”

His eyes were shut—she knew he was too scared to look at her. Smoke was curling around his body in probing tendrils, and the air felt as if it were on fire.

Tem placed a reassuring hand on his chest.

“Please, Caspen. Try.”

He didn’t move. She dropped her voice to a whisper:

“Try for me.”

He was still for another long moment. A low, steady hiss filled the room. Then he opened his eyes.

“I cannot guarantee your safety.”

She nodded.

“I know.”

Tem knew he would yield. He wanted her too badly to resist. Still, it felt like time slowed to a crawl as Caspen cupped her face in his hands and looked her directly in the eye. His thoughts came to her in a devout whisper:

Kora herself could not sway me as you do.

Tem smiled.

Fuck me, Caspen. Now.

He smiled too, and she saw the beginnings of his fangs.

They fell back onto the mattress as Caspen centered himself between her legs. His lips were once more on hers, the head of his cock just beginning to enter her.

And how shall I fuck you?

Slowly.

Caspen slid inside her with unhurried, leisurely grace. Tem moaned at his poignant pace. It felt so unbelievably good she barely heard him as he lowered his lips to her ear and said:

“Tell me what you like.”

He’d never asked her that before. Their lessons in the cave had always been about him—and by extension, the prince. Anything Caspen knew about her sexual preferences had been learned through their experiences together. She couldn’t believe he was asking her, point blank, what she liked in bed.

“I like it when you can’t resist me.”

He kissed her jaw.

“What else?”

“I like it when you turn me on in public.”

She was referring to the claw.

“What else?”

He murmured it against her skin, burying himself in her in every way possible.

“I like it when you make me come.”

Caspen brought his lips once more to her ear.

“That is not difficult to do.”

He was still fucking her slowly, as if he had all the time in the world to do so.Tem had no idea it could feel like this—that it wasn’t always wild and fast and desperate. It was one thing to feel desired, another entirely to feel cherished. Caspen demonstrated his love with every slow thrust, matching his movements to her breathing until she was practically in a trance. He kissed her neck, arching it back so she was vulnerable—yet secure—in his arms.

Tem had never been this wet before. Now she understood what it meant to truly take him, to receive his cock the way it was meant to be received—all the way to the base—thrust after merciless deep thrust. Heat rose on her cheeks, her whole body covered in a fine sheen of sweat. She felt flushed, as if she had a fever.

“Tell me what you like,” she managed to whisper.

Caspen smiled.

“I like it when you say my name.”

Tem crossed her legs around him, pulling him even deeper.

“What else?”

“I like it when you cannot catch your breath.”

She couldn’t catch it right now.

“What else?”

“I like the sounds you make when I fuck you quickly.”

Despite what Caspen said, he didn’t fuck her quickly. He kept doing what she liked, while telling her what he liked. It was exactly what Tem wanted from him, and it only turned her on even more.

Caspen’s hand went between her legs. He massaged her clitoris gently, syncing the motion with his thrusts so that every time he went all the way inside her, his fingers applied even more pressure. It was almost beyond what Tem could handle.

“I know you like that,” Caspen said quietly.

Tem couldn’t even nod.He was guiding her toward her climax—getting her ready for release. His eyes were black pools, watching her in complete rapture. She wanted to come for him—to show him how devoted she was to their union—to show him that she was his .

Just when she was moments away, Caspen retreated, rolling onto his back.

“Ride me,” he ordered.

Tem obeyed,straddling him and sinking down onto his cock with a shameless moan. She jerked her hips quickly, chasing the euphoria she knew was imminent. They were surrounded by smoke: Caspen was alternating between shutting his eyes and staring at her neck, and she knew he was fighting to stay in control. Tem would not make it easy for him.

Her orgasm was building, building, building inside her—growing with ferocious determination—threatening to drown her in its insistency. She was seconds away again, and this time she would let nothing stop her. Tem dug her fingernails into Caspen’s skin, anchoring herself in the moment. It was heaven to ride him like this—to take ownership over her own pleasure and get herself where she needed to go.

Tem cried out as she soared into ecstasy.

The moment she finished, a change came over Caspen, and she knew he was done holding back. He grabbed her breasts so hard that she yelped. The second she did so, he released her, skimming his palms down the curve of her waist and squeezing her ass with both hands.

“I can’t keep up with you,” she gasped.

At her words, Caspen sat up straight, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against him. For a moment, they were both perfectly still, their lips centimeters apart, their bodies intrinsically intertwined. Tem could feel Caspen’s heart beating steadily in his chest, so much slower than her own, which was galloping like a wild horse. She felt knowledge in his heartbeat—a deep, vast knowing that had been around far longer than she was alive and would exist far past her death. She wondered how long that heart had been beating.

Then Caspen arched his hips, penetrating her rhythmically from below. He held her gaze, watching her calmly as her breath hitched with every thrust.

“Please, Caspen,” she breathed.

Tem didn’t even know what she was begging for.

His grip tightened, holding her in place as he thrust into her again and again. She was on top but he was in control, setting the pace like he always did. Tem shut her eyes and moaned, surrendering to him because it felt too good not too, surrendering to him because she had no other choice.

“Tell me,” she gasped. “Tell me how you feel about me.”

She needed to hear him say it. Now, while they were joined together.

Caspen didn’t hesitate.

“I am undone by you,” he said. “I crave your scent, your skin, your voice. I think about you all the time, to the point of destruction. You are unbearably overwhelming. I cannot resist you no matter how hard I try.”

To hear Caspen describe her in the exact way she felt about him was unfathomable. Tem wanted to hear more. Before she could ask for it, Caspen was already speaking, his words accentuated with every thrust:

“I am afraid of how much you mean to me. You occupy every inch of my mind. If anyone ever hurts you I will rip them apart. No one compares to you. No basilisk or human has ever captivated me the way you do. I want to fuck you all the time. I want to come inside you.”

His pace was increasing. Tem couldn’t breathe.

“You.”

Thrust.

“Are.”

Thrust.

“Perfect.”

This time when she came, he spoke a command into her mind:

Open your mouth.

Tem did so without question.

Caspen’s hand wrapped around her throat, arching her neck back so he could position his face directly over hers. He opened his mouth, but didn’t kiss her. Instead he made a guttural sound—something between a hiss and a growl—something completely and undeniably inhuman. Tem felt him come at the exact same time as a black liquid emerged from his mouth.

Tem’s eyes stayed wide open as the substance dripped down the back of her throat.

It tasted like smoke.

When the last of the liquid had slid from his mouth to hers, Caspen finally kissed her. He was soaked with sweat, and so was Tem. Their combined wetness was spreading all over their legs but neither of them bothered to clean it up. There was no point; Tem liked being covered in him. The vibrations of their union ebbed away slowly, and it wasn’t until the air began to cool that Tem finally asked:

“What was that?”

The gold was returning to Caspen’s eyes. He hooked a single finger through the chain around her neck, pulling her closer.

“My venom.”

“Your venom? ”

“Yes.”

“But won’t that kill me?”

Caspen scoffed.

“Of course not.”

Tem sat up straight, hardening her voice.

“Don’t you dare make me feel stupid for asking that. Everyone knows basilisk venom is lethal.”

Caspen’s expression softened.

“My venom is only lethal if I bite you. It is harmless on its own.”

“ What? ”

This was complete news to Tem. All her life she’d been raised to think that basilisk venom was deadly.

“Venom is fatal when administered straight from the fang,” Caspen continued.

“So I’m not going to die?”

He pressed his lips to her neck.

“Not from what I just did.”

Tem felt a sudden swoop of anticipation. What had he just done? She’d never heard of a basilisk giving its venom to a human, even if it wasn’t lethal. He’d told her to open her mouth, and she had obeyed. No part of her had hesitated to follow his order, because she trusted him. It was that simple. But was she foolish for doing so?

She pushed him away.

“You should have asked me first.”

Caspen frowned. Tem continued before he could:

“You can’t just decide what to do to me. I deserve an equal say.”

“I cannot consult you on every single decision I make, Tem.”

“You can when your decisions concern my body.”

He didn’t respond.

“I would have said yes, Caspen,” Tem whispered. “To anything you asked. I always say yes to you. So just ask next time.”

He looked at her finally.

“Very well,” he said quietly. “I will ask next time.”

Tem nodded. Then:

“But what…exactly did you do?”

“I already told you. I gave you my venom.”

“I know what you did. But why did you do it?”

Caspen’s eyes met hers.

“You are not safe in my world, Tem. Every time you come here, it is a risk.”

Tem knew her excursions under the mountain were dangerous. But she also knew they were worth it.

“ You keep me safe,” she said.

He shook his head.

“I am not always here. You were alone with Rowe tonight.”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Only because I was nearby. Next time he will not hesitate.”

“To do what?”

“To crest you.”

Tem frowned. Crest her? It wasn’t a term she’d heard before.

“What does that mean?” she asked.

Instead of answering, Caspen lifted her off his lap and set her next to him on the bed. Anticipation slipped down her spine as he said:

“The crest is a way for a basilisk to gain power.”

Tem mulled this over. Basilisks drew their power from sex. Was he worried Rowe was going to have sex with her?

“Caspen,” she laid her palm on his shoulder, leaning in. “Nothing happened between us. I promise.”

He shook his head. “The crest is not sex.”

“Then how does it work?”

“Limited contact is required for the crest . Rowe would only need to touch you?—” as if to demonstrate, Caspen wrapped his hand around her throat before finishing quietly, “—in order to crest you. When you are crested , you are forced to orgasm. It is a violent, nonconsensual act. My venom will protect you from this.”

“But why would Rowe want to give me an orgasm?”

“Think of it as taking, not as giving .”

“I don’t understand,” Tem said.

“The crest is a way to extract power from a human. When you climax, the basilisk who crested you becomes stronger. Rowe wishes to draw power from you.”

“Can’t he crest anybody? Why me?”

“He can,” anger crept into Caspen’s voice. “But I took something dear to him. He wishes to do the same to me.”

“What did you take?”

Caspen didn’t answer.

Revenge is already mine to seek.

Tem used the pause to sort through her thoughts. She was struck again by how little she knew of Caspen’s world, and how out of step she was in it. There were untold dangers around every corner here—dangers she couldn’t anticipate because she didn’t know they existed in the first place. It was a problem that was beginning to feel insurmountable. She understood that she was at a disadvantage—that Caspen often had to act in her best interests, without her knowledge. But she didn’t always like the way he did it. And it wasn’t the first time; the stone statues of Jonathan and Christopher flashed through her mind. Yet another decision Caspen had made to protect her. Tem still considered herself responsible for their deaths. She probably always would.

Tem needed to know more. But Caspen clearly didn’t enjoy this line of questioning. This conversation was a minefield, and it was becoming increasingly impossible to navigate it.

She counted thirty long seconds before asking:

“Why have you never crested me?”

“Because it is a violation.”

“I want you to do it.”

Caspen shifted so they were facing each other.

“No, Tem.”

“Why? Does your venom prevent it?”

“My venom prevents anyone else from cresting you. Technically, I still could. But I would never do so, Tem. You do not deserve that.”

“Are you saying it’ll hurt?”

“Not at all. But it is still a form of abuse.”

Tem had already made up her mind. Experiencing an orgasm from Caspen in such a way would surely be incredible. She needed to know how it felt.

“Do it,” she said again.

But Caspen was shaking his head.

“There is more to it, Tem. The crest forms a bond between human and basilisk. One that cannot be broken.”

“Aren’t we already bonded?”

“Not in this way. If I crested you, you would be compelled to do what I say, always. It would remove your agency.”

Tem frowned. She didn’t like the sound of that.

Caspen drove his point home:

“I could give you any order, and you would have to obey. If I told you to stab yourself with a knife, you would do so without hesitation.”

“You would never tell me to do that.”

“Of course not. But the bond extends beyond verbal suggestion. If I were starving and there was no food, you would cut off your arm to feed me, whether I ordered you to or not.”

Tem made a face.

“Ew.”

A smile twitched Caspen’s lips.

“Precisely. Ew.”

They were silent for a moment.

“Can you crest other basilisks?” she asked.

“It is forbidden for a basilisk to crest another basilisk. It is only meant for—”

“Humans,” Tem finished the thought. Of course it was.

“Yes,” Caspen studied her face in the flickering firelight. “Humans can withstand the crest because you are meant to give us power. Basilisks are not meant to dominate each other. It is an abomination of nature to crest our own kind.”

“But it’s possible, right?”

“Yes,” he said again, quietly this time. “It is possible.”

Something about his tone made Tem ask:

“Have you ever done it?”

His jaw locked. Tem tried to ignore the sharp stab of jealousy that shot through her at the thought of him using the crest on someone else.

“Caspen,” she whispered, fearing his response. “Is there a basilisk who is bound to you?”

To her surprise, he said:

“No.”

Tem thought he might elaborate, but he didn’t. There was only one thing left to ask.

“What happens to a basilisk when they’re crested? ”

Caspen took an eternity to answer:

“They die.”