Chapter 19
19
HANNAH
W e started walking again, our hands locked together. This didn’t feel like a revenge plan. It felt like something terrifyingly real.
Did he kiss me because it was him trying to start something that led to sex? Or did it actually mean something more? With Nikko, it was hard to tell, but this time, something in his gaze hinted at something I had not seen before. It didn’t feel like the gruff tattoo artist I first met.
We walked in silence for a few more steps, each lost in our own thoughts. We eventually ended up back at the blanket. Neither of us seemed to be all that interested in going anywhere else. It felt too good to be real. At least real in my life. This was not the kind of thing that happened to people like me.
Sitting in the sand with Nikko felt oddly right. The gentle sound of the waves, the sky above us a blanket of stars. His arm was warm and heavy draped around my shoulders. It was ridiculous how easy this felt, how natural. Like we did this every weekend or something.
Except we didn’t. And maybe that was why my curiosity was gnawing at me like a dog on a bone .
I shifted a little, resting my cheek against his shoulder. “Can we talk about what happened at your tattoo shop?”
Nikko’s entire body tensed. His arm stiffened around me. I felt him draw in a slow, deliberate breath. I knew it was a sensitive subject. I just didn’t understand why. Shit happened. Businesses got broken into all the time. He seemed to be taking it all very personally.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I added quickly, my words tumbling over themselves. “I get it if it’s private. I just… I thought maybe you’d want to talk about it. If you do, I’m a pretty good listener.”
For a moment, I thought he’d shut me out. He’d go quiet, maybe make some sarcastic comment to deflect, and that would be the end of it. But instead, he surprised me.
With a long exhale, Nikko leaned his head back to stare at the stars. “At first, I thought it was my old man who broke in.”
I tilted my head up to look at him, sensing the weight behind those words.
“That’s a lot to unpack,” I said cautiously. “Your dad? You thought he would break in and rob your business? That’s, uh, wow.”
“You’re telling me.” He laughed but there was no humor in it. “My old man has been a screw-up since before I was born.”
I stayed quiet and waited for him to talk at his own pace. I wasn’t going to push.
“I grew up in Miami, surrounded by him and his merry band of idiots—low-level gangsters who thought they were kings of the world. Mostly uncles, cousins, guys who should’ve known better. After you left the other night, I went to my father’s house. It’s a total fucking dump. I can’t believe I actually lived in that shithole. Granted, those losers have run it into the ground even more than it already was, but it always amazes me when I go back to the place.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Ten years ago it wasn’t as bad as it is right now, but it was always kind of nasty. No kid should’ve had to live like that. But back then, I didn’t know any different. It was normal to me. Going back always makes me see how far I’ve come, but also how much that old life still pulls at me. Like gravity. That’s why I thought it was him. ”
Nikko’s voice trailed off, lost in the memories. I squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue.
“When I was a kid, I loved drawing. It was the only thing that kept me sane while everyone else was running around doing God knows what. While my friends were getting arrested or getting into fights, I was sitting on the porch sketching tattoos I’d never get to ink. I kept my head down, stayed out of trouble as much as I could. But…” He hesitated, his voice growing quieter. “That doesn’t mean I’ve never done shady shit. Sometimes my old man needed help. Sometimes I wanted to fit in. But I’m done with all that now.”
I placed a hand on his arm, squeezing gently. “That’s huge, Nikko. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”
“After high school, I worked my ass off to get out of there. Saved up from odd jobs—anything to put distance between me and that life. I was doing back-room tattoos before I was eighteen.”
“Forgive me for asking, but do you have to get a license or go to school to become a tattoo artist?”
He chuckled softly, the tension easing a bit. “Yeah, you do. I went through an apprenticeship and got my license as soon as I could afford it. It’s all official now. Working and making a name for myself in the ink world was like me finally saying I made it on my own terms, you know? Legit. No corners cut.”
“That makes what happened even worse,” I murmured, feeling his pain as if it were my own.
“Exactly. So when I saw the place trashed, my first thought was that some part of my past finally caught up with me. That maybe they wanted money and I wasn’t around to give it to them. Just because I left them, they don’t let you leave completely. They still come to me when they need money. That’s why I thought it was him. I figured he’d gotten himself into trouble again and needed a quick paycheck. He came by the shop a week ago and wanted money. He watched me pull it from the register. I assumed he knew how much was in there and decided to help himself.”
“But it wasn’t him,” I said softly .
“No,” Nikko said, his voice heavy. “It wasn’t him. And now I have no idea who it was.”
“No offense, but Miami is a big city. I’m sure break-ins are pretty common.”
“Maybe, but not at our place. And no other business was hit. A real thief would have taken some of the equipment. That shit is worth a lot.”
I debated what to say. “Maybe they got spooked.”
“Maybe. It’s fucked up. Marcus is putting up security, but it just feels off.”
I could hear the strain in his voice. This wasn’t just a bad boy with a chip on his shoulder. This was a man who’d fought tooth and nail to claw his way out of a shitty situation and was still trying to figure out how to leave his past behind. He deserved better.
“I’m sorry you grew up like that,” I said without thinking. “No kid should have to be scared all the time.”
“I wasn’t scared,” he snapped, the words sharp enough to sting.
His thorny attitude wasn’t going to protect him from me. Someone needed to be honest with him.
“Any kid with two brain cells would’ve been scared in that situation,” I shot back. “It’s okay to admit it. It’s normal. You’re a man now and can defend yourself, but back then, you were at their mercy. That was never your fault.”
He looked down at me, his expression a strange mix of defiance and pain. I could see it in his eyes—the years of telling himself he was fine, that he didn’t need help, that he could handle everything on his own.
“It’s okay,” I said again, my voice softer now. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. Then, without warning, he leaned down and kissed me.
It wasn’t a tentative kiss, like he was testing the waters. It was passionate and warm, full of affection. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against mine, his breath mingling with mine in the cool night air .
“I want to see you again,” he said, his voice low and rough.
My heart stuttered in my chest, and for a split second, I wanted to say yes. But then reality crashed back in.
“I can’t,” I whispered, the words barely audible.
Nikko pulled back just enough to look at me, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “Why do you keep pushing me away?” he asked softly. “You can’t keep hiding from this forever, you know.”
I shook my head, my eyes darting away. The walls I’d spent years building slipped into place like a security system activating. Big heavy doors slammed down around my heart. “I’m not hiding from anything,” I lied, though the tremble in my voice disagreed.
He didn’t call me out on it. He just watched me for a moment, his dark eyes full of questions he didn’t ask.
I stared out at the ocean. I couldn’t look at him. He was opening up to me, letting me see the pain in his life, and I wasn’t letting him get in. I felt torn, caught in a storm of emotions that battered at my defenses. With Nikko so close, every part of me tingling from his touch, it was increasingly difficult to hold on to my resolve.
“Why can’t you open up?” he finally asked.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my thoughts and stay strong. “It’s complicated,” I managed to say, hating how feeble it sounded even to me.
He smirked and shook his head. “Yeah, isn’t it always.”
I wanted to apologize, but what could I say? I’m only here to fuck with you? To make you want me so I could dump you?
No. I couldn’t.
If I kept sitting here with him, I was going to spill my guts. I was going to tell him my whole life story and end up having sex with him. That would be a mistake. I couldn’t let myself fall into that trap. And it would be a trap. He was so easy to fall for.
“It’s getting late,” I said, pulling away. “We should probably head back. I really do need to work on my pitch for the client.”
Disappointment flickered across his face, but he didn’t argue. He just nodded, stood, and started packing up the remains of our picnic.
The drive back to my hotel was quiet. The silence wasn’t tense but it was heavy. When he pulled up to the curb, he turned to me, his hand resting on the steering wheel.
“I meant what I said, you know,” he said. “You can’t keep hiding.”
I swallowed hard, nodding without meeting his gaze.
“Goodnight, Hannah,” he said softly.
“Goodnight, Nikko,” I replied, slipping out of the car.
As I watched him drive away, I felt the war raging inside me—desire battling with self-preservation, hope fighting against fear. I so wanted to fall for him. He wasn’t the man I initially thought he was. There was so much more to him.
I walked into the lobby and up to my room. I was already thinking about how I could explain Nikko to my friends. We had all misjudged him. He was a good guy. I didn’t need to fix him. He was just fine the way he was. Sure, he had a past, but who didn’t? It was what he had made of himself now that mattered, not the shadows that trailed behind him.
I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash over me, and I tried to push away the feelings stirring inside. But it wasn’t working.
My mind replayed our evening—the laughter, the vulnerability in his voice, and that kiss. That damn kiss which had ignited something deep within me that I feared I couldn’t douse with reason or resolve.
This was so much harder than I thought it was going to be.