Stained Glass (Willow Springs #1)

Chapter 1

Lana

Ithink I can see ghosts.

Or maybe I am so stupidly tipsy that I’m seeing double.

“Lana,” someone laughs. “Lana!”

I blink, and the ghosts are gone, the low-lit bar with LED lights everywhere coming back into view.

“I’m fine,” I laugh, just to choke on my own spit.

My best friends, Isabelle and Natalia, laugh harder, which—since I’m a drunk mess—makes me laugh even harder.

“More shots!”

Stop drinking, Lana.

I hate this.

“Shhhh,” Isabelle hushes Natalia. “I’ve cut us off.”

“Boooooo,” Natalia taunts Isabelle, right in her face. I snort and feel the tequila nearly coming right back up.

“Lana! LanaLanaLanaLana!”

“What—what?”

“Levi is here!”

Isabelle gasps at the same time I do, and my neck cracks when I turn my head to see the town’s “golden boy.” He has never been golden to me.

“Oh,” I giggle and wrap my lips around the straw in my drink. Levi turns to catch me looking and gives me a half-smile with a tiny nod. I look away, eyebrows raised and eyes wide.

“He caught me! He’s so—”

“Fine,” Natalia groans.

“Jesus Christ, Natalia,” Isabelle chuckles.

“Dibs!” Natalia shouts.

“You can’t call dibs on a human!” I yell back. “You don’t even like blonds!”

“I saw him first!”

“No, you didn’t!”

“Both of you shut up!” Isabelle hisses. “He’s coming!”

Natalia gasps. “Oh my God, he’s coming this way.”

“Go for it, LaLa,” Isabelle winks.

I don’t think I should. I haven’t been able to go for anything in years.

I forget the straw and swallow the rest of my watered-down drink as Levi approaches. He dips his chin toward my friends.

“Ladies.”

He finally turns to me, and he’s shorter than I remember. If I’m 5'5", then he must be, like, 5'10".

He isn’t as tall as—never mind.

“Hey, Lana,” Levi says, his cheeks red from the alcohol, the smell of liquor heavy on his breath, and his blond hair a bit in sweaty disarray. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Over his shoulder, Natalia and Isabelle grin and nod, both of them giving me thumbs-up. Like a teenager, I bat my lashes and toy with a strand of my hair. If I were sober, I’d think this was pathetic. I haven’t flirted in years.

Oh well.

“I’ve been working,” I try not to slur. “But I gave myself this weekend off.”

Levi smirks, showing a hint of his white, straight teeth.

“Hey! What teeth whitener do you use?” I ask, louder than I intend.

Levi laughs anyway. “Crest!”

“Thank you!” I grin.

Levi laughs, amusement in the dull green of his eyes.

“I used to have the biggest crush on you, you know.”

“No way.” I try to make it sound flirtatious, but I think it just sounds like sarcasm.

I miss him.

He chuckles with a nod. “Probably since we were sixteen.”

My cheeks are burning—and quite honestly, so is my throat—both from the tequila I’ve forced myself to drink. Other people drink to forget. Why can’t I?

Except, I’m remembering. There is no winning.

“Impossible,” I tease.

“Yeah.” Levi rakes his fingers through his greasy-looking hair. “But you were always with Christian, ya know?” Levi shrugs. “I knew you two were a thing and…”

Fuck this. Levi was not supposed to bring back those memories. This bar interaction wasn’t for this... it was for sex! Maybe.

Good sex that I haven’t been able to have in four years without thinking of he-who-shall-not-be-named. This is meant to be my ‘rebound’ after four years.

“And then you guys were a thing, so…” Levi says, “I backed off.”

“He left,” I blurt. A burp bubbles up my throat, but I press my lips together to keep it in. “He’s gone.”

He’s gone and I hate it. Just as much as I miss him.

I need more tequila.

This is why we don’t think of him.

No. No more alcohol.

Even the alcohol makes me think of him—and sometimes resent him.

“Right,” Levi grimaces, scratching the back of his head.

He’s conventionally handsome. Hot, I think most people would say. Blond men are not usually my type, but I don’t think I’ve had a type in years—since the one who was my type ripped my heart out of my chest.

My type used to be tall—much taller than Levi—with dark brown hair, light brown eyes, smooth tan skin, short stubble, and a smile that made me melt.

Levi will have to do.

Just saying that to myself hurts more.

This is another reason why I never get drunk. It awakens a sadness I’ve worked so hard on healing, and it still hasn’t healed entirely.

I only allow myself to drink with Natalia and Isabelle—sometimes at brunches with pretty cocktails we take pictures of, or during wine and movie nights.

But I never allow myself to get to the point of total inebriation. Tonight is a fluke.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Levi asks, a small smile on his lips.

I nod, forcing a weak smile. “Just water.”

He flags down the bartender for another beer and a bottle of water. Levi twists off the cap for me, and I nearly chug the entire thing—trying to wash out the taste of tequila on my tongue and soothe the burning in my throat.

“So, how is your bookstore café?”

I smile. My bookstore café, Books and Beans, is right on a corner of Main Street with Violet’s Florals as my neighbor across the street. I’ve worked hard to build my own business—with the little my mother left behind and a giant payoff.

Books and Beans was only a dream five years ago, and it was made a reality last year. It’s my pride and joy.

You should do it, Lana. It’s what you’ve always wanted. I’ll be your first customer.

That’s what he always said when I talked about it. Until he wasn’t my first customer. He hasn’t been a customer at all.

But I guess, if it weren’t for his disappearance, I would not have received the money I needed to open Books and Beans.

“It’s good,” I manage. “Now that it’s summer, I can finally put the tables outside again.”

Levi’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows a mouthful of beer. I want to throw it against the wall and scream.

“I love that you do that.”

“Yeah?” I bat my lashes again. My brain just doesn’t seem to be into it, though.

Except—who knows? Maybe Levi is the real love of my life or something.

He isn’t.

I’m going to vomit.

Levi nods. “My mom loves outdoor seating. She says your place is a good getaway from my dad.”

I chuckle. “Poor Charles.”

“Ahh, he’s fine,” Levi laughs.

His dad is a sweet man. He was even on the PTA board when we were all in high school.

Everything about Levi’s life makes him seem like a privileged golden boy. I don’t get the appeal.

“Lana, can I take you out?”

I blink.

“Like on a real date?”

“Oh,” I breathe. “Um… okay.”

He grins, and it’s meant to be boyish and cute, but it does nothing.

I take a step toward him and throw my arms around his neck.

“Yes, Levi,” I say, standing on my toes. “You can take me out on a date.”

“You’re making me blush like a twelve-year-old boy.”

I laugh, and it doesn’t feel even a tiny bit real.

I inch my face closer to his and say, “Is that a good thing?”

Levi’s hands grip my hips tightly—I hate that. For a moment, I think about swatting them away.

“We’ll just have to find out, I guess.”

The tip of my nose bumps against his, his repulsive beer breath mingles with mine, and just when I’m about to kiss this tall, so-not-my-type blond, I see him—standing by the pool table with a bottle of water in his hand.

It’s a motherfucking ghost, Lana.

I drop flat on my feet, my arms unwinding from around Levi’s neck as I gape across the bar, slightly shoving him away from me.

The light brown eyes from my dreams and nightmares find mine, and I’m sober and shuddering.

My entire world narrows in on him, right there.

There is no sound, no one in the room. Only me and him.

I can’t breathe.