11. Merritt
merritt
. . .
The palms of my hands rested on top of my thighs while I tried to silently fight every natural instinct inside of me that was begging for me to make a move.
We ordered pizza and turned on a movie. One turned to two, then a third.
It was late, night had darkened the sky outside, but I couldn’t get myself to end the night. All I had been thinking about for the last thirty minutes was a way to suggest a fourth movie.
“Is this okay?” she asked, taking her head off my shoulder just a little to turn and glance up at me.
By the time the credits were rolling after the first movie and we were done with dinner, I had felt Scarlett start to relax a little more. When the second movie started, she’d scooched over a little closer to me on the couch. And when the third movie started, she’d rested her head on my shoulder, and I hadn’t dared move. Fuck, if I could have figured out a way to keep living without breathing so I wouldn’t frighten her away, I would have.
“It’s perfect,” I rasped, and she made a face. Her gaze dropped to my hands on my lap before she straightened out her body.
“I’m sorry. I was probably invading your space.” That wasn’t possible, but I was afraid if I said the words out loud, I’d freak her out.
“Not at all.” I cleared my throat.
The night had been fun.
Better than I could have ever imagined.
The pizza was great and the conversation and company even better. I’d known she was incredible, but being in her space, spending time with her? Breathing her air? It was what dreams were made of.
She was sheer perfection. Mine, a voice growled. Kiss her! he taunted. I shifted into the couch trying to subtly adjust the thick bulge in the front of my pants.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had this much fun just hanging out with someone. Not only was she beautiful, but she was smart and funny and quick-witted. The conversation had flowed steadily, though I had a feeling it had a lot to do with the glass of wine we’d enjoyed.
“You look like you wanna run out of here,” she pointed out quietly.
“I do?” My brows rose to my hairline.
“You do.” Scarlett chewed on her bottom lip. “It’s okay if you want to go,” she offered, straightening and scooting away. Not a lot but enough so that our thighs were no longer touching.
“Leave?” I repeated. And that’s when I noticed the uncertainty in her eyes. I’d been so busy trying to fight the need to grab and kiss her that she had somehow misconstrued that to be disinterest.
“It’s okay. I get it.”
“You do? Maybe you should clue me in.”
“I’m just not…” She shrugged, and her eyes dropped from mine. “Sexy,” she blurted out. I chuckled.
“I don’t know what you’re on, but it has to be strong shit for you to think that.”
“No, I’m serious. It’s why you look so… uncomfortable, and you haven’t…”
“I haven’t what?” I rasped, and she didn’t hesitate to answer me.
“Touched me.”
“I’m trying to be a gentleman here, Scarlett.” She blinked. Something about the way her eyes locked with mine, the soft slightly confused expression on her face, broke me. I turned and reached for her, settling her over my lap.
“Merri––“
“It’s our first date, Scar. I don’t want you to feel pressured or––”
“What if I wouldn’t, I mean…” She pressed her lips together before leaning in closer. Her hand rose, and, lord have mercy, her soft touch broke me. No way in hell would I be strong enough to walk away if she asked for more. The problem was I wanted her to get to know me, to feel comfortable around me, because the moment my lips touched hers, it would be my undoing.
End game kind of shit.
“Your stubble is nice,” she whispered. An animalistic purr-like sound vibrated through me.
“Cutie pie, you’re killing me here.”
“I’m not a kid,” she argued. I loved the little pout of her lips I didn’t think she knew she made. Fucking hell, it was adorable. It made me want to flip her over my lap, pull her pants down so I could spank and tease her until she was begging for more.
“I know that.” My jaw clenched. Focusing around her was a bitch.
I forced my hand to cover the one she had on my face. “But I so much as kiss you, baby, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop,” I admitted. I was fucking weak. My self-control was shredding, and fast. Quicker than grains of sand slipping through my fingers.
“And?” she asked, but I could see the way it surprised even herself.
She wasn’t ready for that.
Something inside me told me she wasn’t all that experienced.
“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing,” she added, and I groaned.
“It’s not but—“ I swallowed, watching her eyes drop to my neck. I could feel her gaze on my skin. It left a tinge of heat on my flesh, but not enough. The tip of her pink tongue poked out to lick her lips. “I should get going home,” I muttered.
My dick shouted at me in protest.
It wanted to claim her now.
It needed to be buried inside her body and mark it as its own from the inside out. She was no longer on the pill. Not that she knew. One time, and I’d knock her up. I knew it down in my gut. Breed her! Take her!
“Why? I mean…” She shook her head before she dropped her hand. My body physically hurt from the loss. She started to get up, but I didn’t let her. I should have.
Keeping her on top of me, with my hands on her luscious body, was a fucking bad idea. I needed her more than I needed to breathe. I was already depriving myself of self-gratification, and now I was stopping us from kissing.
One kiss won’t hurt, the animal inside me whined. But I knew better. One kiss would ruin me.
Wrapping my hands around her waist, I kept her on my lap. “I don’t think you’re understanding what I’m saying.” I tried to calm down and get enough blood flow back to my head.
“You don’t want me.” She sounded like a wounded animal, and every single part of me wanted to soothe her. Protect her. “I get it.” Her eyes refused to connect with mine.
“I don’t want you?” My voice sounded like gravel in my own ears. Like a fucking bastard, I reacted without stopping to think. She needed to know exactly what she did to me. I reached for her hand and brought it between my legs.
“Merri,” she gasped. Finally, fucking finally, her dark eyes connected with mine.
“You feel that?” I asked, leaning down so our foreheads touched. My dick twitched beneath her touch at the sharp intake of breath she took. “You feel how much I want you?”
“But…” She swallowed, and her eyes rose to meet mine. “Why?” I shot her a look, and her shoulders relaxed. “I mean, I’m just me.”
“There is no just anything when it comes to you. You’re everything I could have ever imagined I’d want and then some. The sound of your laugh, your eyes, fuck, your body. You. You do this to me.” My nose flared. I pulled her hand away because any longer, it would have stayed there until I came. And I wasn’t coming until I was inside of her, bare, without anything between us. “I’ve never had someone stuck in my head like you’ve been in it from the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“When we bumped into each other on New Year’s?” My jaw twitched, but I didn’t say anything. “You hardly know me,” she pointed out.
My sweet cutie pie had no idea, not a clue about just how much I knew about her.
I knew everything I could learn. I watched her every move. I knew what she ate for every meal and what she preferred, down to how she usually took her coffee or how much ice she added to the ridiculously oversized cup she carried around everywhere.
“I want you to get to know me,” I rasped. I could see the wheels turning while she made sense of this.
For her, this was fast.
We’d officially met a couple of hours ago. I needed to slow down. No, you don’t! the animal inside growled. Take her. Breed her. Make her yours, he panted, but I ignored it.
“You want to date?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t care what she called it. It didn’t matter. Not when at the end of the day, it would mean she was mine.
“Oh!” Her lips parted into the perfect little O. The vision of it would haunt me, tempt me to pull my dick out and jerk myself off to thoughts of her taking my cock between her lips and swallowing every drop I had to give her. “Like, exclusively or––“
“Yes,” I clipped, because the thought of her even thinking about seeing someone else made me want to rip someone’s head off.
“Okay,” she agreed easily.
Too easily.
My girl had no idea what she was signing on for. Too sweet and innocent and na?ve. And I was too much of a bastard to try and warn her away from my cursed ass.
Curses don’t exist, I reminded myself before pressing my forehead against hers. If they did, I would do anything to break it if it meant a lifetime of quiet, simple moments like this.