Stay with Me: The Moran Brothers Series

Chapter 26

Stretched

Reminisce

My arms are burning,and I keep forgetting to breathe. This bow pose is killing me. I can’t believe the shit Isha has us doing.

In this moment, this girl is Saga’s friend. I don’t know why I’m here doing any of this. There’s a part of me that wants to sit my butt down and call it quits.

“Okay, come back down into child’s pose,” Isha instructs.

I move through the next sequence she gives on autopilot, I have to if I’m going to make it through this. I glance out the corner of my eye to see Saga moving through this workout like it’s nothing. Meanwhile, I feel like I’m dying.

“Okay, guys. Savasana.”

I have never been happier to hear the word. I lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling questioning my life and sanity. I will give Isha one thing. This studio is nice.

The ambiance almost helps you forget she’s trying to kill you. Between the aroma therapy and the calming colors of the room, it’s all so inviting. It goes a long way to help me calm my heart and find my breath.

I’ll give her credit. I haven’t thought about Knight in the last hour. I haven’t thought about anything but trying to make it through this mental and physical ass whipping for that matter.

“Namaste.”

Thank God, it’s finally over. I feel like I collapse even though I’m lying flat on my back. I’m ignoring my sister’s phone call the next time I see her name. She’s been disowned.

“Oh my God. I can’t believe people pay you to treat them like this,” I groan as our yoga session comes to an end.

As I lie here on my back, I can feel muscles I didn’t know I had. Sweat is dripping everywhere. I want to go back to the beginner’s classes I used to do, not this demon yoga Isha just put us through.

“I’m not as flexible as I thought,” I pant.

“You’re actually pretty flexible. You probably haven’t put that to the test in a while, so everything is tight. You did great,” Isha says a little bit too chipper for me at the moment.

“Says the woman who does this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” Saga groans.

“Come on, guys. My celebrity clients do enough whining. Don’t you two start. Bask in the peace, be grateful for the movements your bodies have allowed. Be in the moment,” Isha says.

“You’re right. I’m not going to complain. Lord knows this is better than being hunched over my desk reading documents, but I’m not moving for another twenty minutes,” I laugh.

“Take your time. I don’t have any other clients until this afternoon.”

Those poor people. I feel like I should send smoke signals or something to warn them to run. This place isn’t safe. Hearts might stop, breathing is sure to be impended, and brain fog from lack of oxygen is likely to occur.

“Bishop has the boys today, so I’m in no rush. All those two babies do is fight each other. Carson is either sitting on Cooper or Cooper is tugging at Carson. Between that and the fact that they’re always looking at me as if I’m hiding snacks, I need this break,” Saga says with a sigh.

“You guys want to grab a bite? Maybe some smoothies,” Isha says hopefully.

She’s been here in LA since my sister returned, but I still don’t think she’s made a ton of friends. I often get a lonely vibe from her. With Saga being married and having two children, I don’t think things are the same between them.

Not for lack of trying. It’s just life. The two of us have become better friends, but I’m a workaholic, so my time is limited when it comes to new friends. I do try because she’s my sister’s friend.

“I’m down. That way you can tell me how you got into torturing, excuse me. Got into being a yoga instructor,” I tease. “Just allow my brain to reconnect with my body.”

Saga laughs and tosses her towel at me. I knock it away and roll my eyes at her. She knows that workout kicked her ass too. She can put on that act all she wants. I see her.

“Oh, that’s an easy one. I used to have really bad panic attacks when my mother first remarried. I had to find something to help me out.

“The anxiety was taking over my life. I started yoga one summer, and it changed my life. It’s been my path ever since,” she says.

I sit up and look at her. I dare to begin to have hope for my situation. As I said, I haven’t thought about anything else while here. In the past, I have been introduced to mediation.

It’s actually been the one thing to last the longest and have the most effect before I threw the towel in because the attacks returned. I never thought about trying yoga. It might work.

“Do you have an opening for a new client?” I ask.

Isha gives me a bright smile and knowing look. I shrug as my hope blooms. It’s worth a try. I’ve done everything else.

“Does this time work for you? I’ll book you in three times a week.”

“Perfect. I’ll be here,” I reply with a smile of my own.

Already it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. First, I’ll deal with the root of my problem and take my power back. Then I’ll see if Knight is right for me.

I’ll admit, I do feel a lot calmer. Saga has mentioned a friend of hers she thinks might be better suited as my therapist. Things might just be looking up for me.

“Lunch is on me. Let’s get cleaned up,” I say.

* * *

Knight

I lovethe looks of joy in my nephews’ eyes as Bishop and I carry them through this street fair. I used to love these things when I was little. I can only imagine what must be going on in their heads.

This isn’t how I thought I’d spend my day, but I’m not complaining. I had gone to my brother’s house to hang with him and my nephews. However, when I arrived, he and Dwayne were getting the kids ready for a day out.

I decided to tag along because I didn’t have shit else to do. I haven’t stopped smiling all day. Dwayne’s little ones are adorable. It isn’t a hardship to spend my day with them or my nephews.

I’m enjoying myself more than I thought I would. Dwayne and Bishop seem to be happy to be here with their little ones. I’ll admit to myself that I’m a little envious.

We find a picnic table to sit at as Dwayne takes his crew to the concession stands. I snicker to myself. He’s going to take them back to their mom on a sugar rush, if not with tummy aches. My cousin can be petty as ever.

Sure, he gets to spoil his kids in the process, but I know the way his mind works. If Abby calls him in the morning bitching that she got puked on, he’s going to be wearing a grin.

I can’t blame him for it, but he’s going to have to let it go soon. Kids pick up on a lot. I shake my thoughts away as Bishop’s voice grabs my attention.

“You would make a great dad,” he says.

I turn to him, and he looks me in the eyes with a smile on his face. Glancing down at my nephew Carson in my arms, I can’t help wondering what babies with Rem would look like. Will my kids take after me as much as my brother’s sons have taken after him or will Rem’s genes be stronger than Saga’s.

I wouldn’t care either way. I’d love them no matter what. Shrugging the thought off, I begin to shake my head at my brother’s words.

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Why not? Not something you want or not something you’ve allowed yourself to think about?”

I want to blurt out that I don’t want children if they’re not with the only woman I’ve ever truly cared about. However, I’m not ready to open that bag of worms with my brother. After hearing my mom has been sticking her nose in my business, I’m reluctant to talk about Rem with my family.

I shrug. “A little of both, I guess.”

“Best thing to ever happen to me. I love my boys. We both want more.

“Nothing in this world can compare to be married to Saga. Then she blessed me with my sons. A gift I wouldn’t want from anyone else. I can’t explain it, being a father—that’s some next level shit.”

Dwayne walks over and takes a seat. His kids are running around with cotton candy in their hands. So it begins, I chuckle to myself.

“I have to agree. My marriage was for the birds, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything,” Dwayne says with a smile on his lips as he stares at his kids playing.

“Look, Daddy. They have a bouncy house,” Dwayne’s little girl calls as she waves to get his attention.

Demi is cute as a button. She has dark blonde hair that curls into big ringlets. I’ve never seen her without that huge smile on her face when her dad is around.

Dwayne can do no wrong in the eyes of his kids. I can only hope to have my own children look at me like that. I think back to Bishop’s words.

It’s not that I haven’t thought about having a family. My life has never been set up to have kids. Carson smacks me in the face with his heavy hand as if to knock some sense into me.

“Oh,” Bishop winces. “Sorry about that. Carson, no hitting, buddy.”

“That’s going to leave a mark,” Dwayne says.

I shrug. “I’ve been through worse.”

“Demi, Dalton, Dominic, come sit. Eat these hot dogs, and we can go to the bouncy house and play a few games,” my cousin calls to his little crew.

They come running as he unloads their food from the basket it’s all packed in. Demi rushes to take the seat right next to her dad. Dominic sits next to me, looking up at me with a smile.

Dalton sits on the other side of his dad. The kids begin to tear into their food while Dwayne passes out drinks next. Demi squeals as he steals one of her fries.

“Hey, Daddy.”

Dwayne winks down at her and dips to kiss the top of her head. Suddenly, Carson reaches over and slaps his hand down on her hotdog, trying to snatch it from her tray. I grab his hand and groan. This little guy.

“Sorry, Demi. I guess it’s time I feed these guys. Uncle Bishop will get you another one, baby. Don’t cry,” Bishop says.

She pouts and crosses her arms over her chest as she glares at him. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Bishop stands and hands me Cooper.

It doesn’t escape me that a bunch of moms have gravitated toward our area. A glance around tells me they’re all trying to pretend they’re not paying our table any attention. A part of me wonders if they’ve identified Bishop or if it’s just the fact that we’re three men with a bunch of kids.

“You want something?” Bishop asks.

“Whatever you get for yourself.”

“I’m coming with you,” Demi says as she jumps up and marches around the table to grab Bishop’s hand to follow him.

I can see he’s fighting back a laugh as Demi gives him a stern look. He nods and walks off with our little cousin in tow.

I turn my attention back to Carson and Cooper to make sure they don’t attack anyone else’s food. Dwayne’s boys are silent as they devour their food. Dwayne has a burger that looks so good, my stomach begins to grumble.

Running a hand through my nephew’s hair, I kiss the top of each of their heads. They smells so good, I close my eyes to take a deep inhale. They smell of comfort and all things good in the world.

Yeah, I guess I would love being a father.