Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
W hen Fia had agreed to go on a ride with Knox, she hadn’t expected that not even an hour into it, they would be caught in a storm. When they had left the castle, the skies had been mostly clear, only a few clouds gathering in the far distance, but the weather had changed suddenly. Now the sky was the color of steel, a cold grey that seemed to encompass the entire world, and the wind whipped her cheeks as they rode down the path in search of shelter.
As if bein’ on a horse wasnae enough!
She should have never agreed to it. In fact, she should have never allowed Knox to go on a ride in the first place. What was he thinking, she wondered, going out like this, when he was still injured? What if something happened to him? What if brigands attacked him? Could he even defend himself?
But Knox had been very convincing when he had told her that he was fine and he had insisted he wanted her company. She had gone along simply because she didn’t want to leave him alone. That, more than anything else, would be too dangerous.
The fact that it was a chance to spend some more time with him, just the two of them, was irrelevant—or at least so she told herself.
“There,” Knox called as he pointed into the distance with his right hand. At least he had been injured on his left side, the one he didn’t favor as much, and he could still ride with ease, but as he pointed, tugging sharply at the reins in his excitement, the horse bucked under them and Fia had to swallow down a shriek of terror.
I’m never gettin’ on a horse again.
She didn’t know how it could be that Knox always convinced her to go for rides. Even now that she had an idea of riding, which was more than she could have said in the past, getting on a horse frightened her and she never enjoyed any of the rides enough to justify being plunged into that terror willingly. Not even Knox’s presence was enough most of the time for her to feel safe, and yet there she was, the knuckles of her fingers turning bone white as she held on to the saddle for dear life.
Following his finger, Fia saw that he had spotted a small cottage in the woods. He steered the horse towards it and they reached the squat building just as the rain began to fall in earnest, sheets of icy drops cascading unbridled around them. Knox helped Fia off the horse, the two of them running through the small garden to reach the door, and he hardly had the time to knock before the door opened and a young woman ushered them inside.
“Come in, come in,” she said. “We saw ye from the window an’ we hoped ye’d stop. Come… sit by the fire, ye must be freezin’.”
The woman, short, with plump, rosy cheeks and a pregnant belly, grabbed Fia by the shoulders and pushed her on one of the chairs by the small fireplace, where a bright, warm fire burned. Knox, a little amused smile dancing on his lips, joined her on the other chair, the two of them trying to rub the warmth back into their limbs.
“Thank ye,” said Fia as she took in her surroundings. Apart from the woman, there was also a young man in the house and a small boy who looked just like him—their son, Fia supposed, who couldn’t have been more than six years of age. “We are truly grateful, we couldnae have made it back in this weather.”
“Dae ye live far?” the woman asked, but just as Fia was about to respond that she meant Castle Stuart, Knox chimed in, interrupting her.
“Just over in Duror,” he said, much to Fia’s surprise. She refrained from showing that surprise on her face, though. Whatever his reasons, Knox didn’t want them to know that he was the laird of Clan Stuart.
“Och aye, that is quite far,” the man said as he walked over to them. “I’m Baird, this is me wife, Caitriona. An’ this wee laddie here is Hamish.”
“Knox,” said Knox with a small bow of his head in greeting. “And this is Fia. It’s a pleasure tae meet ye all.”
“That’s a nice horse ye have, Knox,” said Baird. He was a sturdy man, but much smaller than Knox, with dark hair and bright eyes that he shared with Hamish. “Is it yers?”
“Och aye,” said Knox. “Me pride an’ joy. I raised her meself.”
“Did ye? I’ve raised me fair share o’ horses in me life,” said Baird. “But nae as bonnie as yer mare.”
Fia wondered if the man could have suspected that they were not from Duror just from Knox’s horse, but he didn’t seem suspicious—only a little excited to be seeing such a strong and beautiful horse. Even Fia, who was not particularly fond of the creatures, had been impressed when she had first seen it.
Whatever concerns she had melted away, though, when Caitriona doubled over, bracing herself on the back of Knox’s chair. Her hand cradled her stomach and Fia stood just as Baird rushed to her, only to have her wave them both off.
“I’m alright,” she said, though her expression was pinched, as though she was in pain. “It’s been happenin’ all day, but I’m nae in labor yet. I’d ken if I were.”
“I’m a midwife,” said Fia as she walked over to her and placed a gentle hand on her stomach. Even if she wasn’t in labor as she claimed, she had to be close. She was big enough to be in the final stages of her pregnancy and the baby would be coming any day. “I can examine ye if ye so wish an’ give ye somethin’ fer the pain. Are ye in a lot o’ pain?”
“Naethin’ that I cannae bear,” said Caitriona with a warm smile. “Wee Hamish was worse when he was about tae be born.”
As she spoke, Caitriona ruffled her son’s hair and he beamed up at her as he hugged her leg. The sight flooded Fia’s chest with warmth, the joy that radiated from their little family infectious, spreading over to her. She longed for a family of her own. All she had ever wanted was to raise children, and she had thought she would get to have that with Callum, but now it was the last thing on her mind. After everything that had happened, any hopes of creating a family of her own any time soon had vanished and had been replaced by the necessities and duties of everyday life.
For a moment, she allowed herself to indulge in a vision of her having a family with Knox. She could imagine it with ease, the two of them raising two, maybe even three children—boys and girls who would look like them both, who would run around them in circles, who would listen to Knox’s explanations of the stars and her made up stories of them.
She didn’t indulge in the fantasy for too long. That was all it was, a fantasy that would never come true. Wishful thinking only served to further hurt her already wounded heart.
As the day passed, the storm did not. For a while, both Fia and Knox considered heading back, even in the rain, but there was no telling how long that would take them. It was dangerous, staying out in the cold and the rain for this long, and so in the end, they agreed to Caitriona’s suggestion that they sleep in the small hut next to the cottage.
It had once been used by the cottage’s only servant, before he had passed, and Caitriona’s family could not afford to have another. When Fia entered it, she saw that it was sparsely furnished, with nothing but a bed, a stove, and a chest, but when Baird lit a fire for them and she and Knox sat next to it, warming themselves, it was more than enough.
Their soaked clothes were almost dry by then, but Fia was chilled to the bone and so Knox grabbed the blanket from the bed, wrapping it around her shoulders. She held it tightly around her, trying to battle the chill, and between that and the fire, the trembling of her body slowly subsided.
It didn’t hurt that she was sitting close to Knox, the two of them sharing the heat of their bodies. It was necessary, she told herself. It was simply so that they wouldn’t freeze.
“I told ye we shouldnae have left the castle,” Fia teased, though there was no real bite behind her words.
“How could I have predicted that it would rain like this?” Knox asked with a small shrug. “Did ye see any clouds in the sky?”
“It’s more about yer shoulder than about the clouds.”
“Me shoulder is fine.”
Fia rolled her eyes at him, but she knew that no matter how much she insisted, he would never admit he was still in pain. Knox was proud like that—or rather, stubborn.
“Why did ye tell them we’re from Duror?” Fia asked, curious to know the reasoning. “They didnae seem like people who would take advantage.”
“Och nay,” Knox was quick to say. “I never thought they’d take advantage. I simply didnae wish to put them in any trouble. When people find out I am the laird, they always go tae great lengths tae please me. It’s better fer them tae think I’m a simple man.”
“That’s… thoughtful o’ ye,” Fia said with a small frown. Even though he was arguably the most powerful man in the clan, Knox seemed like the only noble in there who made any sense to her. He wasn’t like the rest of them, looking down on her simply because she was a peasant. Not only that, but he didn’t want anyone to go into any trouble for him just because he was the laird. He simply wanted to be treated as any other man and that didn’t surprise her as much as it confirmed that he was a good and kind man.
“It’s how me faither taught me,” Knox said. “He always told me we have a responsibility tae other people an’ as the laird, I would have tae choose whether I wished tae be one who flaunted their power an’ their wealth or one who truly made a difference in the world. It seemed only natural tae me tae choose the latter, just like he had.”
Fia hadn’t been lying when she had told him that she would have loved to have met his parents. They sounded like wonderful people and if Knox had turned out the way he did, it was surely thanks to them.
“If ye dinnae mind me askin’… what happened tae them?” Fia said, hoping she wasn’t overstepping.
But Knox didn’t seem to mind at all. If anything, though the grief welled up inside him to remember, he was more than willing to talk about them.
“Everyone says it was an accident,” he said. “But I ken better than that. I ken it was Alastair Gordon. He is the one who killed them.”
Fia gasped, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. How terrible, she thought, to have one’s loving parents snatched away like that. She didn’t know what motive Laird Gordon could have had, but nothing could excuse it.
“That is terrible,” she said. “I’m sorry, Knox… it must have been so painful fer ye. It must still be.”
“Often,” Knox admitted. “But I like tae think about them fondly. I’d rather remember them the way they were rather than think about their deaths.”
Fia could understand that. When it came to Tav, she couldn’t even bring herself to consider the possibility that he was dead. To her and to Bane, he was still alive, still trying to find a way home.
“I never think o’ Tav as dead,” she admitted. “I simply… cannae.”
And still, tears streamed down her eyes every time she spoke about him. When he lived in her thoughts, it was easy to convince herself there was nothing for her to cry about, but now that she had said his name, the tears were unstoppable.
“What happened tae him?” Knox asked, his voice quiet, gentle.
It took Fia several moments to gather her thoughts, to force herself to speak about it, but Knox waited patiently.
“He was taken one day,” she said. “There was an attack in our village an’ along with everythin’ else they destroyed an’ took, they also took Tav. I dinnae ken why… it never made any sense tae us. Why would the raiders take a simple blacksmith? What did they want with him?”
Fia didn’t know, and neither did Bane. They could never figure it out. All they knew was that he still had to be alive. They both believed he was still out there.
“I’m sorry,” Knox said. “It’s a terrible thing, what happened tae him. And not kenning.”
Fia nodded but was at a loss for words. Every time she thought about Tav, it was the same; the same grief, the same despair, the same questions coming to her mind again and again.
“Forgive me… I find it hard tae talk about it,” she told Knox.
With a sigh, Knox wrapped his good arm around Fia’s shoulders and pulled her close, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. She let her eyes slip shut, wiping the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand, and in only a few moments, she managed to compose herself again.
For a while, the two of them sat there in silence, simply holding each other. When Fia tilted her head to look at him, though, she saw nothing but love and tenderness in his gaze, and she pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss.
It was like a dam had broken. That one simple kiss was enough to ignite their desire, to pull them ever closer, Knox deepening the kiss by licking along the seam of her lips until she parted them, allowing him inside.
“Let me pleasure ye again,” Knox said, groaning against her lips. “Let me touch ye.”
But Fia shook her head. That wasn’t what she wanted anymore. She had kept herself pure this entire time, saving herself for her future husband, but that very day, she had decided she was going to tell Knox the truth about everything—but first, she wanted to feel him closer. She wanted to have at least one chance to be with him, to belong to him fully.
She didn’t want him to pleasure her with his hands like last time. She wanted to be one with him, to be taken like a wife.
“I want ye,” she said. “I want ye completely. I want tae be yers.”
Knox paused for a moment, breath hitching in his throat. “Are ye certain? I dinnae… I dinnae need that. I only want ye tae feel good. If ye have any reservations?—”
“I dinnae,” Fia was quick to say. “It’s what I want, I promise ye. Take me. I’m yers.”
It was all Knox needed to hear before he all but pounced at her, tearing off her clothes with eager hands. Before long, she was naked before him and Knox was spreading her over the blanket that he had laid on the floor next to the fire, taking his fill as he stared at her body.
Fia trembled under his gaze. She had never felt this exposed, this vulnerable, but the way Knox was looking at her made her feel so desired, so loved that it didn’t matter.
Lowering himself over her mound, Knox pressed his lips right where the seam of her folds began, speaking against her skin.
“I’ll make ye scream with pleasure,” he said. “Spread yer legs fer me.”
And so she did.