Stealing a Kilted Heart (Temptation in Tartan #8)

Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

K nox stood by the door of the cottage, his clothes askew, his hair all over the place, his hand gripping the door handle as though it could somehow help him process the scene before him. Never before in his life had he been present for a birth and now that it was happening right in front of him, he wished it had never come to this.

How dae lasses dae this?

He, Baird, and Hamish looked in horror as Caitriona paced around the room, every now and then doubling over as she screamed in pain. She was crimson in the face, a vein popping in her forehead, and even her eyes were reddened, the small vessels there bursting. She was soaked in sweat, her tunic clinging to her back, and had it not been for Fia, Knox thought he would have long since passed out just from watching the woman.

“Everythin’ will be alright,” Fia assured her as she gathered everything she needed. Baird had already heated up jug after jug of water and there was a pile of clean cloth on the table, but Fia still flitted about the room, gathering herbs from Caitriona’s kitchen. “I’ve delivered many bairns, Caitriona. Ye can trust me.”

“Och aye, that is true,” said Knox, wishing to be helpful even in some small way. “She is a very skilled midwife.”

“Ye are?” Caitriona asked through a sob as she reached for Fia, grabbing her arm. “Tell me the truth… it’s too soon, is it nae? It isnae time yet.”

“Bairns come whenever bairns come,” was Fia’s cryptic response. “Yers wishes tae meet ye now an’ so it shall be.”

She sounded perfectly calm—at least to those who didn’t know her. Knox, though, could detect an edge of panic in her tone, one which she concealed well, giving no sign that she was concerned about Caitriona and the baby. He couldn’t help but admire her for it. Knox himself was on the verge of a breakdown and he had seen his fair share of battle in his lifetime. But a battle seemed like such a small thing compared to this; so impersonal, violence for violence’s sake. Here, the pain was coupled with life. It was oddly humbling to watch, reminding Knox once again that being a midwife was so much harder than being in battle.

In that moment, Fia was everything to Caitriona. She was a midwife, a sister, a mother. She was the only person who could take care of her, the only one who could safely bring this new life to the world.

As Fia wrapped an arm around Caitriona’s shoulders, giving her all the comfort she could, Caitriona leaned closer and whispered something in her ear, something that he, Baird, and Hamish couldn’t hear. Fia turned to glance at them, her skin just a shade paler than usual, and then looked back at Caitriona, nodding.

“Baird, perhaps ye should take Hamish tae the hut,” Fia suggested. “This is hardly a place fer a bairn tae be. But dinnae fash about yer maither, Hamish. Everythin’ will be fine an’ soon, ye’ll have a wee brother or a sister.”

Knox saw the look Baird gave Fia, but when he saw just how distressed Hamish was at seeing his mother in such pain, he was quick to nod and whisk him away, the two of them leaving the cottage. The moment the three of them were alone, Fia beckoned Knox closer, making him hold Caitriona steady.

“If I die?—”

“Dinnae say that,” Fia scolded her. “I told ye, everythin’ will be fine.”

“If ye truly thought so, then ye wouldnae have listened tae me an’ sent them away,” Caitriona said and by the guilt in Fia’s gaze, he knew that to be true. “I asked ye tae send them away because I ken what could happen. So if I die, tell them… tell them….”

“They already ken,” Knox said. “They dae.”

Caitriona turned her teary eyes towards him, nodding gratefully. Her hand clamped like a vice around his own, to the point where he could almost feel his bones grinding against each other, and he wondered where such a small woman could find such strength. But then again, she was in labor and that, more than anything, had to require a kind of strength he could not even begin to imagine.

“Ye’re early,” Fia confirmed. “But nae by much. I’ve delivered smaller bairns than yers an’ both maither an’ bairn were perfectly healthy. All I need from ye is tae stay calm an’ push when I tell ye. Can ye dae that?”

Caitriona nodded, the hand that wasn’t holding onto Knox coming up to wipe the sweat off her brow. Fia brought over the clean cloth and then knelt in front of Caitriona, her hand disappearing under her tunic as she frowned.

“Alright,” she said. “I can feel the head. Yer bairn’s almost here.”

“I have tae push,” Caitriona said, then immediately curled over again, a scream tearing its way past her throat.

“Nae yet!” Fia said. “Here… hold onto the back o’ the chair. Knox, come here.”

Knox looked at Fia with wide eyes, frantically shaking his head. “Nay.”

“Knox!”

“Down… there?”

“Aye, quickly!” Fia commanded and he had little choice other than to fall to his knees next to her, a wave of nausea washing over him. “Ye’ll have tae catch the bairn.”

“What?” Knox shrieked, his voice suddenly so high in pitch that at first, he didn’t even realize it belonged to him. “What dae ye mean catch the bairn ? I cannae dae that!”

“O’ course ye can, dinnae be ridiculous!”

“I cannae!” Knox insisted. “How fast will the child be? What if I drop it?”

“Dinnae ye dare drop me bairn!” Caitriona shouted.

“He willnae drop the bairn,” Fia assured her and then turned her stern gaze to Knox, hissing through clenched teeth. “Ye willnae drop the bairn.”

“But all the blood?—”

“Ye’ve killed people but now ye mind the blood?” she asked.

“He’s killed people?” Caitriona cried, her eyes wide as she stared at Knox in fear.

“As a soldier!” he was quick to assure her. “I’m nae a killer, dinnae fash.”

“That is what a mercenary would say!”

“I’m nae a mercenary!”

“He’s nae a mercenary,” Fia assured her and Caitriona seemed more open to accept that as the truth when it came from her. “Look at me, Caitriona… are ye ready? Are ye ready tae push?”

Caitriona nodded and with Fia’s help, squatted a little as she gave the first push. Knox tried to keep his breathing calm and controlled, reminding himself that his was perhaps the easiest job in there. All he had to do was grab the baby; he could do that. If he could stomach the violence of a battle, then he could do this, as well. What he could not do was retch, which was all he wanted to do.

As Caitriona pushed, her screams piercing Knox’s ears, Fia guided her through her labor, reassuring her again and again that everything would be fine and that she was doing well. Soon, Knox came to find out just how much blood was involved in the birth of a child, and once again, he had to force himself to breathe, to keep himself from getting lightheaded. Blood had never bothered him like this before, perhaps because it had never come from an innocent woman who was in so much pain. But now Caitriona’s wails as she tried to push her baby out, coupled with the blood and the sheer strangeness of birth shocked him in a way few things in his life had. What if her fears were true? What if she died?

He couldn’t understand how women could go through with this and not only once, but multiple times. The thought that Caitriona had already done this once gave him pause and he couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would choose to go through it again.

But then, just as he began to question everyone’s sanity, the last of the baby’s body – the little feet – fell in Knox’s hands and he cradled the tiny human in his arms. It was a little girl, her wails as loud as her mother’s, so small that Knox could barely believe she was real.

Above him, Caitriona sobbed with relief and joy as Fia took the baby from Knox and handed it to her. After that, there was a blur of movement as Fia clamped the chord and checked the little girl, making sure she was breathing properly, swaddling her, and handing her once more to Knox, much to his surprise.

“Yer wee girl is fine. Time tae deliver the rest,” she said and Caitriona nodded, bracing herself once more.

“The… what?” Knox asked, but his question was drowned out by another wave of encouragements from Fia’s side. Confused, he stepped back now that Fia hadn’t requested his assistance, watching as the two women worked together to finish the process of labor, with Fia pressing on Caitriona’s stomach as Caitriona pushed.

The sight that followed was one that Knox wished he had never seen in his life. After everything, it was that which made him lightheaded enough for him to seek a chair, collapsing in it as he held onto the baby securely, fearful that he would, in fact, drop her now.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when Fia finally came to him, her hands now clean of blood, and took the little girl from his arms to return her to her mother. Belatedly, Knox realized that his own hands were still coated in blood and several other things which he would rather not think about, and he was quick to go to the basin and scrub them clean.

“See?” Fia said. “That wasnae so bad.”

Knox wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or to Caitriona, but he nodded anyway. But if that was the process by which he was going to have his heirs, then he didn’t know if it was truly worth it—at least until he turned to look at Caitriona on the bed, cradling her newborn with the biggest smile on her face, while tears were falling down her cheeks.

When Fia left to call Baird and Hamish back into the room, she had made sure everything was clean, no traces of blood to be found. Knox watched as father and son barreled through the door, both of them rushing to Caitriona and the new addition to their family, excited to meet her. With a pleased smile on her lips, Fia joined Knox by the chair and he stood, pulling her into his arms to give her a soft, sweet kiss.

“I told ye bein’ a midwife is harder than goin’ tae battle,” he said. She, too, was still covered in sweat, her honey blonde hair a mess on top of her head and her clothes a little stained, but she was beaming with joy and pride.

“Caitriona did all the work,” said Fia bashfully. “I was only there tae help.”

“An’ if ye hadnae been here, nae one o’ us would have kenned what tae dae,” Knox pointed out. “When will ye realize that what ye dae is the most important thing in the world?”

Fia only huffed out a short laugh, shaking her head, before she kissed him again. It was little more than a quick peck, but Knox liked that they could be open with their love in front of others, even if it was only because this family didn’t know who they truly were.

Now, Knox was more determined than ever to let the council know he was going to marry Fia. There was no other woman in the world for him, no one who could make him feel like she did. She was beautiful, clever, compassionate, everything that the Lady of the Clan needed to be in order to be adored by her people. What other clan could claim to have a lady who had experienced firsthand the hardships of its common folk? That would set Fia apart from anyone else, and Knox didn’t care anymore if his council would be against it.

He had already made up his mind. Now all that was left was for him to ask for her hand in marriage.