Stealing Hearts (Wild at Heart #1)

21. PAIGE

21

PAIGE

I don’t bother with the movie because Rhett is asleep within minutes. His deep breathing is soothing, and it makes me sleepy too.

It feels so good to be held, it chokes me up for some reason. I don’t remember the last time someone held me like this. Marcus never did it. Neither did any of my previous boyfriends.

Rhett isn’t even doing this for sex. He’s out for the count.

I never got hugs growing up except from Danny. My dad wasn’t very affectionate, and Irma always hated me. Not sure why. I never did anything to her except breathe. My dad always said I looked like my mama, so maybe Irma was jealous? But that’s a weird thing to be upset about. Unless she just didn’t like sharing his attention with another female, even his daughter.

My lips tug up when I think of how Rhett held Irma’s feet to the fire when we were at the ice cream shop earlier this week, and my heart swells with affection for this man.

Rhett is such a sturdy, safe presence next to me that I finally start to relax. With my nose pressed to his chest, I revel in his woodsy, masculine scent.

Soon, I’m drifting off too.

I wake with a start a few hours later with his big body spooning me. His thick thigh is tucked between mine, his arm is thrown over my waist, and his face is buried in the back of my neck.

I should go. I should get up and march to the couch. Rhett has no plans to stay married, and if I go down this road, I’m only going to get more attached.

But then he groans and pulls me tighter to him, and I’m greeted with his thick erection against my ass.

My breath catches in my chest.

Images from our night at the cabin run through my mind. The way he held my legs open and fingered me to the best orgasm of my life. How he could do that with just his hand is crazy. And then that blow job. Dear God, that blow job. I was throbbing all over again when I went down on him.

I shiver and try to block that out. I told him sex was a bad idea.

Why does my husband have to be so damn tempting?

From deep within my soul, I know this is one of those huge crossroads in my life. If I get up and sleep on the couch, this dream ends. I’ll keep my distance and know better than to get under the covers with him to watch movies.

But if I stay…

If I stay, maybe we don’t have to split up in a few months. Maybe I can convince him that he wants more. Maybe I can convince him that we have something special. Maybe I can convince him to love me.

Like I’ve always loved him.

I see that now, how I never stopped loving him. In high school and college, I masked the pain of his rejection with indifference, but the feelings were always there beneath that facade.

How can I not love Rhett? He works himself to the bone for his boys and his brothers and this incredible ranch. He starts before dawn and doesn’t stop until his kids are tucked away in bed. His dedication to those he loves is awe-inspiring.

I swallow, terrified of his rejection. Sure, I can coax him into having sex with me—we already came close to it at the cabin—but that doesn’t mean he’ll ever love me.

Through the moonlight streaming through the window, I stare at the bare couch.

That’s a lonely spot. That’s a one-way ticket to Boston where I don’t know anyone. That requires leaving the only people who care about me to coach strangers’ children instead of loving up on the kids who are already in my life.

That’s probably a series of relationships where I don’t let myself feel anything.

It would be so easy to go back to that place. To block myself off and amble through life with a painted smile on my face, which is probably a bad look for a cheerleader.

Closing my eyes, I decide to take a chance.

Before I can stop myself, I reach back and rake my fingers through his thick hair. He groans again, and I arch my back.

My panties are wet by the time he starts thrusting against me.

But then his breathing changes, and he stops.

His mouth moves to my ear. “Paige, baby, we shouldn’t do this.”

He could fuck me ten ways to Sunday right now, but I know he’d never take advantage of me.

This is the moment. Do I scurry off to the couch? Or do I take a leap of faith? As much as I want to avoid this confrontation, I know I can’t live like that anymore. It’ll eat me alive if I don’t say something.

Please don’t reject me, Rhett.

Slowly, I turn in his arms so we’re nose to nose. “What if I don’t want to stop?”

When he doesn’t say anything, I close my eyes and rush to tell him what’s in my heart. “I’m tired of being with you but still having to keep my distance. Of being your partner halfway. Of wanting you but never having you.” I suck in a breath and finally have the guts to look at him. “Unless… unless you don’t want me.”

His hand grasps my face, and his gaze studies mine. “You know I want you. I’ve wanted you from the moment I dragged your cute little ass out of your car. But darling, I don’t wanna steal your dream of coaching. There’s nothing here for you in Wild Heart except dust, dirt, and filthy cowboys.”

But what if I want a filthy cowboy? I bite back the words because he’s obviously trying to let me down easy. He doesn’t want to do this. “I see.” I start to pull away. I need to get to the couch before I start crying.

But then he pulls me back and leans up over me. “I’m not done.” My eyes widen at the gruffness in his voice. He drags a rough finger over my bottom lip. “If we do this, you have to promise me one thing.”

Is he really considering it?

“What’s that?” I’ll promise him anything. I hate that I’m so eager. That he holds all the cards right now. But then, he always has.

“You don’t make any decisions about staying here until you’re healed up. I want you to keep your options open. You’re young, just outta college, and you’ve had a tough few weeks. I’d hate for you to make a rash decision and regret it later.”

Why is he talking to me like I’m twelve instead of twenty-two? I push him back. “Rhett, I’ve lived a whole life away from you. I’ve had boyfriends and shitty jobs and crappy landlords and won fucking national championships. I’ve traveled across the country with friends and seen so many things I wanted to share with you but couldn’t. I’ve also lost my parents and my brother along the way. I don’t have anyone left.” The part of me that used to be numb feels everything right now, and my eyes sting. “So don’t tell me what I’ll regret. If you don’t want me, if you don’t want to do this, just say that instead of?—”

He slams his mouth against mine. “Of course I fucking want you.” In between kisses, he mumbles, “What sane man wouldn’t?” But then he stops. His chest heaves as he pulls away. “I won’t be the one to steal your dream, wildflower. We can be together for now, but hold off making any big decisions until you’re rehabbed. That’s my offer.”

This infuriating man. “Fine, but?—”

His mouth is on me again, and any further discussion is lost to the heat ricocheting between us.

A million emotions race through me. Elation that he’s finally giving in. Lust because I want him so badly. Frustration that he’s put another condition on our relationship.

And fear that we might burn bright before we burn out.

But then he tucks me beneath his big body, and all rational thought evaporates. His weight feels so good, I groan.

He kisses me long and deep as he wedges himself between my legs. Everything about him is rough. The scruff on his chin. The pads of his fingers. His dry palms.

I want to kiss all those places.

“You’re so beautiful, Paige.” He stares down at me. “Do you know that? Do you know you’re a gorgeous woman?”

The reverence in his voice undoes me. “Thank you.” I know I’m a decent-looking girl, but right now, with the way he’s looking at me, I feel like the most beautiful woman in Texas.

“May I?” He tugs on the hem of my tank, and I nod.

It flies off, leaving me in a sheer bra.

His hands bracket my chest as he thumbs my hard nipples, and then he ducks down to suck on them. First one, then the other. My head thrashes as he nibbles me through the fabric.

Reaching between us, I unsnap the clasp, and he groans when he sees me bare. He squeezes my flesh, molding and shaping me as he sucks my nipple.

When he stops, I’m afraid he’s going to tell me this is a mistake. That we shouldn’t do this.

But then he pinches me playfully. “One sec. Gotta grab some condoms.”

I’m so relieved I almost laugh. I watch him duck into the bathroom. When he returns a minute later, I shove off my bra and wiggle out of my shorts, which leaves me in a sheer pair of panties. “I’m on the pill.” I have a big, stupid smile on my face.

He sits next to me and nods slowly as he looks down. “Maybe that’s something we should talk about before we go any further. Because I don’t want more children.”

That smile freezes as my heart plummets to the ground. He told me that already, but I hoped he’d change his mind if we really became an item. Because I’ve always wanted kids. A big rowdy house of children who can have the happy childhood I never had. “You mean, ever? Or just in the immediate future?”

Leaning forward, he scrubs his face. “The ranch and the boys are about all I can handle. Plus, Amber had a real tough time of it.” I don’t know what that means, and he doesn’t elaborate. “And, well, I’m not all that good at marriage. I’m afraid I’ll stir up another mess. I know that’s not fair to you, but that’s another reason I think you need to wait and see what you want. Most people figure out this shit when they’re dating. Unfortunately, we didn’t have that option.”

If I stay with Rhett, he doesn’t want children with me.

I hate Amber so much. He wanted lots of kids with her. That bitch got everything with him, and she threw it all away.

My throat gets tight, but I breathe through it. Part of me wants to scurry over to the couch and forget we ever did this. Except… I want to know what it’s like to be with Rhett. At least once, I want to scratch that itch.

I force a nonchalance I don’t feel. “You’re right. We’ll just play it by ear for the next few months. No sense in making any big decisions now.”

When he doesn’t say anything, I sit up and slip my arms around him. At first, he doesn’t move. Doesn’t say anything. Then he clears his throat. “I don’t deserve you, Paige. I know that.”

I kiss his shoulder. I’d give him my heart and soul on a platter if he asked for them, but I don’t think he wants them. That’s okay. I haven’t had a lot of love in my life, but I’ll take what he can give for now. “You’re a good man, Rhett. I’ve always known that. And I’m honored to be your wife, even if it’s just for a little while.”

Sliding out of bed, I come to stand in front of his spread legs.

We might only have this summer and fall. We might burn bright and then burn out. We might be happy for now and then go our separate ways.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t make this the hottest sexual experience of his life. I hope I can burn myself into his memory. Into his heart and soul. Into every one of his dreams.

So when we come to an end, because it sounds like we will, he’ll never forget me.

When our eyes connect, I let down my long hair and shake it out before I shimmy out of my underwear. His hands grip my hips. “Christ. You’re incredible.”

“Take off your pajama bottoms.”

He stands, and I move back while he shoves them down and kicks them off. My gaze tracks down his tight abs, catching on his proud erection.

That’s because of me, and damn if it doesn’t make me feel powerful.

Licking my lips, I kneel between his legs and grab his thick length. As his hands tangle in my hair, holding it away from my face, I drag my tongue along his swollen crown.

The groan that rumbles in his chest spurs me on, tightening my nipples as his eyes hood. I stare up at him as I slowly work him over, sucking his cock like it’s the sweetest lollipop I’ve ever tasted. When I take him to the back of my throat, that hand in my hair tightens, and he holds me there.

I know all I have to do is nudge him and he’ll let me go, but I don’t want that. I swallow him, and he lets out another groan. Finally, I come up with a gasp. My eyes tear up and I’m slobbery, but his hot gaze on me spurs me on. I do it again and again until he pulls me off.

“Not this way. Wanna come in your hot little cunt.”

I shiver. I love a dirty-talking Rhett Walker.

With my elbow, I wipe my mouth. He helps me up, and I stand there as he rips open a gold packet and rolls on a condom over his swollen flesh. I expect him to pull me onto his lap.

Instead, he tosses me on the bed, and I land with a laugh. And then his head is between my thighs.

He nibbles my pussy lips before he spreads me apart and takes a long lick up my core, pausing right before he reaches my clit. I push his head down, but he chuckles and licks around the spot where I need him. Then he sinks two thick fingers into me, and I squeal.

His eyes are riveted to where he sinks in and out of me. I can hear my arousal, slick on his hand. After a few moments, this brilliant man curls those fingers and he finally sucks on my clit.

I thrash underneath him. “Yes! There!”

“Shh.”

I cover my mouth with one hand and grip his hair with my other. I hold him to me as he licks and sucks.

Our eyes meet. His are dark as pitch. Fevered. A reflection of my own.

My legs drop open, and that dirty man pauses to lick his other finger and then drop it down to my asshole where he slowly pushes into me.

Two sucks later, I fly apart with a scream that I barely manage to muffle.

Panting, I lie there boneless. He slides up the bed, somehow keeping that finger in my ass. He gives it a wiggle, and I laugh. “Found something there you like, huh?” I ask sleepily.

“You have no fucking idea,” he grunts as he crawls over me.

One breath later, he sinks his thick cock into me. It’s a slow slide because he’s so thick, but the fullness is magical with the pressure of his finger in the back. “Oh, my God, Rhett.”

His other arm comes around me, and he kisses me deep as he bottoms out.

I draw my legs around his waist, which makes him sink deeper, and we both groan. Slowly, he pulls back, almost all the way out, before he slams back in, and that incredible pressure builds again. Our slick bodies slap together, and he wiggles that finger, and I detonate again.

I shove my face into his neck as I come with a scream. He thickens between my thighs and a second later releases with hard pulses. I feel each and every one as I quiver and shake in his arms.

Panting, he rests his forehead on my chest. When he lifts it, his hair is going every which way, and the concern in his eyes puts me on alert. “Are you okay, baby? I didn’t…” He frowns. “I didn’t mean to get carried away. That was kinda rough. I should’ve?—”

I put my finger over his swollen lips. “That was perfect. I like it rough.” Apparently. Who knew?

“You do?”

He sounds so shocked, I laugh. “I came twice, which is a personal record. So please don’t apologize.” My throat is hoarse from all that screaming.

“You tell me immediately if anything we ever do is too much.”

“Yes, sir.” His dick kicks once more in my body, and I chuckle.

Now I really am boneless, and when he slides out of me, I groan and flop on the bed. He returns from the bathroom a moment later with a warm washcloth and cleans me up. I’m so impressed with his manners. “I’m going to leave a review for you on Yelp. It’ll say, ‘Fabulous curb-to-curb sex service.’”

He smirks, turns me on my side, and smacks my butt. “Smartass.”

When he slides into bed, he pulls me to his warm body, and I throw my leg over his and curl into his hard chest.

“Mmm. You feel so good,” I mumble.

Rhett kisses my forehead. “So do you, wildflower. Too good.”

I want to ask him what that means, how something could feel too good, but I fall asleep.