26. PAIGE
26
PAIGE
Sweat drips in my eyes as I jog down the dusty road. I could work out in the barn where the guys have a little gym, but I don’t want to see any Walkers right now. I’m still upset about that condom conversation Rhett and I had two days ago. We’ve been tiptoeing around each other and pretending everything’s okay, but I know it’s not because he doesn’t reach for me at night.
I’m done making the first move. And I’m absolutely done putting myself out there again only to be rejected.
I run so far, I creep up on the McAllister ranch. It hurts to see it. The property is pristine, their machinery state of the art. They have a white picket fence around the perimeter of their huge house. I don’t know what the cattle equipment is called, but the chutes are new and not rusted like they are at our place.
Reluctantly, I turn around and start to run back to the Walker Ranch, but a huge black truck comes barreling down the road and slams to a stop right next to me. The tinted window lowers, and I come face to face with Cash McAllister.
His eyes drift down my body. “Look who’s all grown up.” He whistles. “Paige Lewis, who knew you were gonna grow up to be such a looker. Not sure why you thought you didn’t have any prospects and needed to marry Rhett Walker. Think you could’ve done better.”
I scoff. “Like you?”
“I’m not exactly the marrying type, but if you were the tasty treat up for grabs, I’d consider it.”
“Cash, I’m happily married.”
“That why you’re checking out my ranch? Because you’re so content living with the Walkers? We both know they’re one bad season away from bankruptcy, and when Rhett finally taps out, I’m going to buy all his property.”
Shading my face from the sun, I squint at him. “Is that why you’ve been sabotaging his ranch? So you can get your hands on it?” All this talk about swooping in to buy our ranch makes me think Rhett’s right and Cash is behind all of our recent problems.
He laughs. “That’s not how I operate. I’m happy to wait until the Walkers implode on their own, and then I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”
“What makes you think we aren’t doing well?”
He smirks like he has all the answers. “Doesn’t take a genius to know that ranch is on its last legs. Old Man Walker never diversified his outfit, and his idiot sons are following in his footsteps.”
“What do you mean by diversify?”
“Darlin’, just ’cause you’re gorgeous doesn’t mean I’m gonna cough up all my secrets.”
Frustrated, I turn and look at his sprawling property, where I notice little white clouds of cuteness grazing along the pasture. “Do you mean raising sheep?”
He stares at me a long minute. “Sure. That’s one way to do it.”
Huh. There’s so much I don’t know about how to run a successful ranch. “Why sheep?”
Cash rubs his chin and glances at his property. “In a nutshell? Because their peaks offset cattle’s low prices.” He chuckles. “Now don’t go saving the Walker Ranch. Those dumbasses probably won’t listen to a pretty little thing like you. And when they don’t, maybe then you’ll consider my offer.”
I hold up my middle finger. “You can choke on that offer, Cash McAllister!” I can’t believe he’s related to Honey. Angry, I take off running.
He laughs, which only makes me fume more. The nerve of that guy. I’m so pissed, I run hard and fast. My ankle is holding up well, though. I have it wrapped. I’m allowed to work out as long as I avoid side-to-side cutting motions and hard landings.
Can we raise sheep? Do we have the pasture to do that? Who can I ask about diversifying?
By the time I reach the Walker Ranch, I’m so hot, I’m queasy. I head for the kitchen and chug some water.
The back door slams shut, and Jace strolls in. He stops short when he sees me. “You don’t look so good.”
“Just got a little overheated when I was running. I’ll be fine.” I consider mentioning my run-in with Cash, but figure that’s probably a bad idea.
“You were running in this humidity?”
“It wasn’t that humid when I started running.”
He scratches his cheek. “You can always call one of us if you get in trouble out there.”
“I’m far too reliant on you and your brothers as it is.”
Jace frowns. “What does that mean? We like helping you.”
“I’m done letting you drive me around. I have a car. I should use it.”
“These roads are gonna ruin your shocks. I’m sure Rhett explained that to you. That’s why we’re always offering to take you wherever you need in our trucks.”
I don’t know why I’m arguing with Jace. I have no problem with him, so I nod. “I know you mean well. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
My vision starts to spot for some reason, and I lean against the counter.
Jace stomps closer. “You dizzy?”
I nod and close my eyes.
“Have you eaten today?”
“No. I wanted to get my workout in first.”
“Okay, hold tight. Let’s get you a snack.”
He hands me some potato salad and juice. I eat everything under his watchful eye. “I’m fine. Really. Just got light-headed for a minute. I’m going to take a shower. Thanks for your help.”
Jace hugs me. “We love you, Little Lewis. You know that?”
My eyes tear up because Jace isn’t who I want to hear those words from. I blink quickly. “Love you too, bro.”
He scruffs my head, and I swat at his hand. He sniffs the air. “Get outta here. You stink.”
With a chuckle, I shove him away. When I reach my room, I pop my birth control pill with an eye roll. “Are you happy, Rhett?” I mumble to myself.
I asked him if having a baby with me would be the end of the world, and he went stone-cold silent.
Why do I care so much? I feel like I’m fifteen years old all over again. I wish I could flip a switch and be as nonchalant as I said I would be about this whole marriage thing.
When will my life get easier? I just want a family of my own. Is that too much to ask?
Frustrated with myself, I head to the en suite bathroom. I stand under the cool water and replay the conversation I had with him in his truck for the millionth time.
That numbness I haven’t felt since I got to the ranch washes over me as I lean against the cold tile.
I let out a sigh.
It’s a relief to not feel anything. I used to think being detached was a curse, but maybe it’s a blessing. I’d rather not cry over Rhett anymore. Lord knows I spent enough time doing that during my teens.
I’m feeling better… until I puke into the drain.
Gross.
Ugh. I press a hand against my stomach and try to avoid the nastiness at my feet.
After I clean up my mess, I fall into bed and pull the covers over me. I’m supposed to be in the office in a little while, but the room is spinning like I’m drunk. I’m not sure why. I’ll just close my eyes for a little while.
I snuggle deeper under the covers and hope Rhett’s out on the range all day. I don’t have the energy to deal with him right now.
I’m just starting to fall asleep when the rest of my breakfast comes up.