Stealing Hearts (Wild at Heart #1)

28. PAIGE

28

PAIGE

“Holy shit, Paige.” Rhett’s attention is glued to the TV where he’s watching last year’s nationals competition. “You’re amazing, but I’m shitting my pants here.”

Beau whistles. “Look at you, Little Lewis. Our flying squirrel.”

When I do a full front flip off a human pyramid, the guys all hoot and holler.

I chuckle. I’m a little embarrassed to be the center of attention like this. It’s been a week since I landed myself in the ER. I’m training again, but I’ve learned my lesson and will hydrate better before setting off for a long run.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what Rhett said to me when we were in the hospital, when he thought I was asleep. He said he wants to be more for me but doesn’t know how to get there.

I know what he means, feeling like you’re giving everything you have. Cheer has been like that for me. I’d plateau and even though I was working my ass off, I couldn’t get to that next level. At one point, my friend Roxy had to take me aside to help me find the right mindset.

But relationships aren’t that simple. What if Rhett never wants more children? I can’t force him to want that with me. Am I willing to give that up? Are he and the life I’m building at his ranch worth more than hypothetical kids I may or may not have?

What if I never meet anyone who makes me feel like Rhett? He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. That’s not something to be squandered.

Even if I’m willing to give up having children, there’s a bigger problem. We haven’t had sex since the truck a week and a half ago. I figured he’d want to after I recovered from that heat stroke episode, but he only cuddles me at night. I don’t know what to do to get beyond the barrier that disagreement created.

Gabriel wedges himself between me and Jace. “Paige, can you show me how to do that stuff there?” He points to the male cheerleaders tumbling across the stage.

“Sure.” I look at Rhett. “I mean, if it’s okay with your dad.”

Rhett frowns. “You’re just talking about the cartwheels and flipping around?”

I chuckle at his description. “At first, yes. Tumbling is a form of floor gymnastics. Even if Gabe doesn’t want to do cheer, learning those skills will help his balance and coordination and overall athleticism. It’s great exercise, and it gives kids an incredible sense of accomplishment. And if he loves it and he’s good at it, he could possibly get a gymnastics or cheer scholarship for college like I did.”

He considers it a moment. “How can I say no to that?”

Gabriel hops up and down. “Yay!”

Austin crawls up into my lap and wipes his nose with the back of his hand. “I wanna do it too.”

After I wipe his face with a napkin, I hug him. “There are a lot of fun activities for boys your age, if your daddy says it’s okay.”

Rhett’s watching me with a softness in his eyes that makes my heart pound. “I know you won’t let them do anything too dangerous.”

“I’ll be right there to spot them.”

“That won’t hurt your ankle? I thought you had to be careful about cutting side to side.”

I love that Rhett pays attention to what I say. “At first, they’ll be mostly stretching and doing cartwheels and roundoffs. I can handle that.” I turn to the boys. “I was thinking of stopping by my old gym tomorrow. Do you want to come with me? We can do a light session, and I can show you a few moves.”

Gabriel flings his arms around me, nearly knocking his brother off my lap. “YES!”

Little Austin squeals in delight, and I laugh.

That night, as I’m snuggled by Rhett’s big, warm body, I stare out our bedroom window and wonder how to get him to turn down deserted country roads again to have his way with me.

As much as I love him, as much as I want him, I decide I need to stay firm on my decision to let him make the first move. He has to want this as much as I do.

And if he doesn’t? Then maybe we aren’t meant to be after all.