48. PAIGE
48
PAIGE
Rhett has his rough palm resting protectively on my thigh as he drives. “Tacos?” he asks. “Or do you feel like something else?”
“That’s fine.” I yawn, exhausted.
It’s just us now. Beau swung by to pick up Jace, and they’re driving over to the police station to give their statements about the sick cattle and Mr. Dods.
“Are you sure you don’t need to go with your brothers?”
“They can handle it. You’re my priority right now. I can give my statement after I’ve fed you.” He smacks the steering wheel. “I still can’t believe Harlan was behind this. He had the nerve to pull me aside at the Moonlight Mixer to ask if I knew you had a boyfriend until recently.”
“Are you serious?”
“He was acting like some kind of father figure who was looking out for me.” Rhett shakes his head. “And the whole time, he was plotting our demise.”
“At least we figured it out in time to do something about it.”
Glancing over, he reaches for my hand and kisses the back of it. “ You figured it out. I’m hoping the bank will give me an extension given the circumstances.”
“You going to talk to them on Monday?”
“Yup.” He squeezes my hand. “Want to come with me? I’ll ask the sheriff for a copy of his report to take with us. Maybe if they hear what you saw, they’ll give me a few weeks to untangle this mess.”
I’m so relieved he’s fighting for the ranch again. “I’d be happy to help however I can.”
He pulls up to the Guac ’N’ Roll food truck and orders us breakfast.
On our way home, I motion to a golden field full of wildflowers. “Can we eat over here? It’s so pretty.” I’m also hoping to have some privacy so we can talk about what happened at the Moonlight Mixer.
He pulls over and parks. I start to open the paper bag with our food, but Rhett motions to the bed of the truck. “C’mon. Let’s have a picnic.”
Coming around my side, he helps me hop out, then lowers the tailgate, picks me up, and sets me on the back of his truck. With our food between us, we stare out at the horizon.
I take a few bites of my taco as I try to gather my thoughts. The more I think about that night at the Mixer, the more upset I get.
The old me would shove down the hurt and avoid this conversation altogether, but if I want this marriage to work, I can’t be afraid to say what I need to. No more sneaking out of the ranch in the middle of the night.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah. Just… I want to clear the air before we head back to the ranch.”
With a frown, he sets down his food. “I know I’ve been an asshole this week. I’m sorry.”
“You’re grumpy. You’ve always been grumpy. I don’t have a problem with that.”
“But I shouldn’t have yelled at you when you told me to talk to Harlan. You were just trying to help.”
“My feelings were really hurt, but I know you were going through a lot.”
He reaches for my hand and kisses my palm. “That’s no excuse.”
“When you told me to go to Florida, I wanted to crawl under a rock.”
“Baby.” He tries to tug me close, but I pull my hand back. For a moment, he squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them, I see a fresh wave of regret behind them. “I thought my ship was sinking, that I was about to lose the ranch and had nothing to offer you, but I figured you still had a chance to achieve your dream. You could take that coaching position and do what you set out to do when we agreed to get married.”
That makes sense, actually. “You were really drunk last night.”
“Which was stupid. I don’t want to travel down that road. It messed up my father and his marriage to my mother. I won’t turn to booze again.”
I nod. That’s good to know.
There’s still one more thing that’s really bothering me. I take a deep breath. “I was pretty humiliated when you had that discussion with Darlene at the festival. Everyone heard her freaking out and accusing you of cheating on her with me.”
“Sweetheart, you know it wasn’t like that. She and I were clear from the beginning that we were just hooking up.”
It’s scary to be this vulnerable, but I think it’s important to get everything on the table. “When you said y’all screwed in your truck, I felt like our one time when we did that wasn’t special anymore. Like it was just a typical Friday evening for you.”
“Shit. Wildflower, I’m sorry.” He groans and scrubs his face. “You have to know you and Darlene mean completely different things to me. Having sex with her there was about convenience. I pulled over that day with you because I can’t keep my hands off you. Because I can’t get enough of you. Because I’m going a little crazy with how much I want you. Every single time I hop in my truck now, I think about that afternoon with you.”
“Really?”
“Swear to God.”
The sincerity in his gaze smooths over my ruffled feathers a little.
I bite my bottom lip. “Why didn’t you talk to her and let her know you and I were together?”
“She always called at the worst possible time. When I was working or with the kids.” He shrugs. “It just didn’t seem like a priority. When I returned her calls, I’d get voice mail, and I just felt like an asshole trying to leave a message.”
I chuckle. I shouldn’t laugh, but he looks adorable with that frown on his face. “For the record, I don’t care how dumb you feel, I want you to leave messages on my voice mail when we need to talk.”
He nods. “I know this. And I promise I’ll try to be better about that.”
“Thank you.” I swallow past the nervousness, needing to know more. “So you weren’t keeping Darlene on the back burner in case you and I didn’t work out?”
His head jerks back. “No, of course not. Fucking Trig McAllister. I should kick his ass for saying that.” He sets our food aside and pulls me into his lap. “Paige, get this into your pretty head. I haven’t thought about another woman since I yanked you out of your car and threw you over my shoulder. You’ve consumed all my thoughts. And I might have wavered about my ability to be married again, but that had everything to do with my baggage, not with you. You’re fucking perfect. Let me be clear—I’m all in here. You, me, our kids, our marriage? That’s everything to me.”
I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders. “You swear you don’t regret marrying me?”
His hand cradles my face, and his thumb grazes my cheek. “How could I regret the best thing to ever happen to me?” He kisses me softly. “While we’re clearing the air, can I ask a few favors?”
“Sure.”
“One of the reasons I’ve been against having more children is because Amber had severe postpartum depression and refused to get help.”
His ex has always seemed temperamental. I can only imagine how much worse that got with PPD. “I had no idea.”
“It would kill me to watch you go through something similar. Once we have the baby, I want you to let me know if you’re not feeling right. I swear I’ll be there for midnight feedings and diaper changes and every doctor appointment. But please communicate if you’re feeling off or overwhelmed, so I can get you more rest or vitamins or medicine—whatever you need. I don’t want you to be afraid to share what’s going on with you, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m here for all of it.”
My eyes sting, and I blink to clear them. His reluctance to have more kids makes so much sense now. “I can do that.”
He takes a relieved breath, and his lips tilt up in a crooked smile. “Thank you.”
It’s so easy to make him happy. I cradle his handsome face in my palm. “Was there something else you wanted to talk about?”
“Just one more thing. Can you promise me you won’t have any more solo sleepovers in the cemetery? If you want, I’ll go with you, and if you’re pissed off at me for some reason, I’ll sleep several feet away. But it’s not safe for you to do that by yourself, and it would fucking kill me if anything happened to you.”
“I promise. I meant to go to Baylee’s, but I was upset and talking to Danny last night seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“That’s my fault. I might’ve been dealing with sick cattle, but that’s no excuse. This whole thing with us got bad because we needed to talk after the festival. I should’ve made that a priority. I promise I won’t let the ranch take precedence over our relationship again. I see now that’s my way to avoid shit, and it ends here.”
Shifting, I straddle him. “You know how you said that cheer job was my dream? You have to know that’s not really true. Being your wife, making a life on the ranch, us having kids—that’s my dream. It’s always been my dream, if I’m being honest. If I can coach on the side and maybe do some custom sewing projects for my friends, I’ll have everything I ever wanted.”
“I love you, Paige, and I have no fucking idea what I’ve done to deserve you, but I’m not letting go.”
“Promise?” I kiss him.
He pulls me closer. “Cross my heart.” Then he pats my ass. “Now eat that taco so I can take you home and enjoy your taco.”
I bust out laughing, and he smiles, a devilish grin on his face.
“I’m going to hold you to that promise.”