Chapter 4
The hostess sat us on the patio under an awning at a table with a bench seat that backed up to the short wall enclosure. The weather was perfect today, sunny and not too hot for once. Fall was finally here. I picked up my menu and perused it.
“You like him, don’t you.” Jonah smirked at me. “I mean, I don’t blame you. The guy’s hot in a nerdy, adorkable way.” He hooked a brow.
“Yeah, I like him. He’s a nice guy. Smart, too.” I scanned around us into the shops of the outdoor mall, the milling people, and decorative fountains with fake grass areas between them, all hidden under tall palm trees.
“So, you going to ask him out?” Jonah’s smirk widened. “You wanted to start dating men and not just hooking up with them, right?
“He doesn’t date men.” Furrowing my brows, I set my menu down. It was just my luck. Meet a decent guy and then find out he’s hiding himself. “Plus, he hasn’t really accepted his sexuality.”
“Then why did you invite him here?” He rubbed his brow. “I figured you were going to ask him out.”
I huffed. “I don’t know. I blurted out the invitation and then when I found out he’d only hooked up with guys and always dated women, I couldn’t take it back.” I focused on him. “That would be rude.”
He leaned in and tapping the table between us, said, “Maybe he’d date you. Maybe he hasn’t found the right guy yet. Maybe you’re the right guy. Ever think of that?” He snapped his brows up.
Pursing my lips, I dropped my gaze to my menu, resting on the tabletop. “I don’t know.” Leo had the potential to fuck with my heart. Even though I’d only known him for a few hours, that much was already apparent. He calmed something in me.
“You’ll never know if you never try.” He straightened up, his gaze looking off behind me, then waved. “Hey, man. We’re right here.”
“Oh, great. It’s such a nice day, I’m glad you picked the patio.” Leo strolled to a gate in the enclosure, swung it open, then walked to our table.
“Have a seat next to Archer there.” Jonah held out his hand.
Of course, Jonah would have us sitting together. I scooted over. I was pretty sure at some point, he’d find a way to leave us alone, too. Yeah, I knew him too well. I scanned over Leo in my shirt, my pulse quickening. God damn, it was doing it for me.
“Sure.” Leo slid in next to me. “Are we day drinking, or are you two not allowed that with your fitness routines?” He rested his forearms on the table and wove his fingers together.
“It’s not a game or practice day. We’re allowed to have a few drinks.” I lifted my chin at Jonah. “You driving us home?”
“Sure, but I can have one beer, right?” Jonah’s eyes twinkled at me.
A waitress stopped at the table and took our drink orders, each of us getting a beer.
Leo leaned into my side and slid the menu toward him. “You guys know what you’re going to eat?”
Heat tingled up my side from Leo’s soft touch. “Uh, I’m getting the chicken pasta dish. Need some carbs for tomorrow’s practice.” I flicked my gaze to Jonah. “Coach is going to run us ragged after winning on Friday. I can feel it.” Talking hockey was easy.
“Yeah, he’s going to make sure we know that winning a game does not mean we get to slack off.” Jonah shook his head with a soft snort. “We play U of A this week.”
“Oh, big rivalry game.” Leo beamed at me. “I’m getting a steak. Just sounds good.”
The waitress dropped off our beers, then took our food order.
Leo sipped his beer. “So, what’s the story with you two? You seem to be good friends.” He pointed his finger between us.
With a glance at Jonah, I said, “We’ve been friends since we met in a summer hockey camp when we were ten years old.” I faced him. “I’m from Duluth, Minnesota and he’s from the Twin Cities.”
“Oh, midwestern boys.” Leo slowly nodded. “I’m from here. Born and raised in Gilbert, went to ASU and now I live with my brother and his boyfriend, my best friend, in Tempe.”
“Wait, your brother is dating your best friend?” Jonah shifted on his chair and cocked a brow.
“Yep, but not dating so much as life partners. That’s what my brother calls them.” With a sharp huff, Leo shook his head. “God, you should see the two of them. They’re so stinking in love it makes me sick sometimes.” He snickered. “Not really, but you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, some people get all the breaks.” With an ache floating through my chest, I inched closer to Leo’s side. I wanted to be close to him. Was Jonah right? Could I be the right guy for Leo?
“Me and Archer are part of what we call the squad. We have a whole crew of hockey players that we’ve met over the years who are all queer. We fought to all end up at ASU, so we could be together and maybe make a difference for other queer players.” He set his elbow on the table. “Some of the guys come from hockey families, you know, dad played in the NHL or like with Myles, his dad works in the NHL doing some of the legal work, drawing up contracts and shit.” He twisted his lips. “So, we went to our families, and they helped us get here, worked with the college.”
Leo’s eyes widened. “Seriously? That is very cool.” He focused on me. “So, are you from a hockey family? Did your dad play in the NHL?”
My chest squeezed and I hung my head, breathing through it. “No, I’m not.” I turned my beer on the tabletop. It was too early to get into my fucked-up relationship with my dad.
“No, but his mother was a renowned triathlete. She went to the Olympics back in nineteen-eighty-eight and took home a silver medal.” Jonah ticked his head.
I stared at him. I guessed we were going there. “She quit competing after meeting my dad and became a high school science teacher.” I pursed my lips.
Leo wound his arm around the back of my seat, like he felt my tension. “Still, that’s pretty impressive. My mom’s a teacher, too, fifth-grade, and my dad’s an accountant who runs his own tax business.” He drank some beer, then choked out a laugh. “No one is athletic in my family, and I only hit the gym to keep from getting pudgy.”
“Well, whatever you’re doing, it looks good on you.” Jonah wagged his brows at Leo.
“Thanks, man.” Leo held up his glass and tapped it on Jonah’s.
“So, what does your dad do, Archer?” Leo edged into my side.
I snuck a peak at his profile, the generous pout of his lips, the strong, but smaller nose. It was like he unconsciously knew I craved the closeness of him. “He sells farming equipment. You know the big John Deere tractors and shit?” I sipped my beer. Sure, Dad could be charming as hell when he was trying to sell you something. But hearing his son is queer? Not so much.
“Oh. That’s cool.” Leo looked off into the restaurant. “Looks like our food is coming.” He pulled his arm from around my shoulders and unrolled his silverware from the black napkin. “Is your mom still teaching or has she retired?”
My heart stung and I threw a glance at Jonah.
The waitress dropped off our food. “Enjoy.” She walked off.
Jonah scrubbed his face in his hands. “Shit.”
Leo picked up his knife and fork, then faced me. “Uh…did I say something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t say anything wrong.” Dragging a deep inhale, I unrolled my silverware over my plate of chicken pasta. “My mom was killed a few years back, just before I left to come out here. She was biking on a country road and a guy swerved to miss a fucking squirrel, and hit her.” My chest ached. Fuck, I hated talking about it. “She was killed instantly. Probably didn’t even know she’d been hit.”
“Oh, Jesus. I’m so sorry.” Leo wrapped my hand up in his and held it over the table. “Remy, my best friend that’s dating my brother? His dad was a fireman and died when a building collapsed on him during a call. It wrecked Remy.” He squeezed my hand. “How are you doing?”
I stared at him, my mouth gaping. “I’m…I’m okay for the most part.” That was big fat lie. It had changed the trajectory of my life, kept me from playing to my potential and fucked with my head. Well, Dad fucked with my head without Mom there to stop him.
“You can talk to me, anytime. I’m serious.” He let go of my hand to slide his phone out of his pocket. “Here, give me your number.”
“Um, okay.” I gave him my number and he called it.
“There, now you have my number, too.” Leo locked his gaze to mine, planting his hand on my shoulder. “My friends tell me I’m a good listener.” He tensed the edge of his mouth. “So, call me. Don’t think it’s weird.”
“I-I will.” I glanced at Jonah, smirking back at me. I knew what he was thinking. If I didn’t ask Leo out today, he’d be all over my ass to do it when we got home. He’d even get the other guys in on it, the fucker.
Jonah shoveled his rice and steak dish into his mouth.
“So, let’s eat.” Leo cut into his steak, then ate a bite and moaned. “Damn, that’s good.”
My dick took notice. Was that how he sounded in bed? I focused on my food. “Would you uh, would you like to see our game on Friday?”
A wide smile grew over Jonah’s chewing mouth.
Leo’s gaze met mine. “Yeah, sure. I know Remy would like to go and I can return your shirt to you.” With a soft chuckle, he brushed his hand down the back of his head. “In fact, we were talking in the car about going to a game on the way over here and that’s a big one.”
“Cool.” Nodding, I twirled my fork in my pasta. “I’ll get you set up with something close to the bench maybe?” A grin teased my lips. Then I could keep my eye on him a little bit.
“Don’t get yourself distracted during the game, Carlson.” Jonah pointed his fork at me. “Ace is going to need you at your best.”
“Ace can defend the fucking goal without any of us on the ice.” I scoffed. The guy was quick and focused. He was like that off the ice, too.
“So, I take it Ace is your goalie?” With a half-smile, Leo sipped his beer.
“Yeah, cool dude.” Jonah cocked his head. “A little quiet and weird, but he’s still a squad member and the best damned NCAA hockey goalie I’ve ever seen.” He scooped rice and steak into his fork. “And with a name like Ace, how could he go wrong?” He beamed at Leo.
“So, all the guys you live with are queer. How many of you are there?” Leo pushed roasted potatoes around his plate with his fork, then snapped his gaze to me.
“Six. There’s six of us. Sometimes we’re even all out on the ice at the same time.” I drank some beer down.
Knitting his brows, Leo dipped his head for a beat, then came back up with a soft grin. “Any of you know a guy named Milo?” His gaze flicked between us, from me to Jonah and back again.
My pulse quickened and I threw a glance at Jonah. “Uh, yeah. I know a guy named Milo.” It wasn’t a common name. Could we be talking about the same person? “Keyboard player for Knot Me?”
With a deep breath, Leo set his fork on his plate and sat back. “Yep.” He rubbed his eyebrow. “My brother, Axel, is the guitar player for Knot Me.”
“No shit?” A sly grin worked over Jonah’s mouth. “What are the odds?”
Leo pressed his lips together. “So, you and Milo were uh?—”
“Yeah, we hooked up a few times.” I swallowed hard. If my chances with Leo were bad before, I had a feeling they were worse now. “I’m not seeing him anymore. He started dating his friend. What was his name, Ryder?”
“Yes, Ryder.” Leo blew out a breath, shaking his head, then picked up his fork and cut a piece of steak. “Anyways, you’ve gone to see them play?”
“Yeah, they’re fucking good. They bring the house down.” I watched Leo eat his food. What was he thinking? “They’re playing at Gila River Casino this Saturday.”
Jonah rubbed his chin, then leaned in. “We were going to go to that show after our game. Were you going?”
“I was…am. Am going.” Leo’s gaze cut to mine. “Guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other this weekend?”
I studied his face. I couldn’t tell if he was happy about us both being at the show or not. “Guess so.”
“Anyways, here’s to new friends.” Leo held up his beer glass to me. “This weekend will be fun.”
“New friends.” I tapped my glass on his, then gulped my beer down. Fuck…I think I’d just been friend-zoned.
After drinking his beer, Leo said, “What are you studying? I’m assuming you’re here to get a degree, too?” He ate some potatoes.
“I’m studying exercise science and Jonah is a pre-med student.” I twirled pasta onto my fork. With my degree, at least if I didn’t make it into the NHL, I could find a way to still be close to the sport.
“Wow, those are pretty tough subjects. You guys must be athletic and smart.” He tapped his head and smiled at us.
“Yeah, but all we do is study and play hockey. Okay and let off steam at the bars when we get the chance, but yeah, not much more than that.” Jonah stuffed a forkful of food into his mouth.
“My classes aren’t as hard as Jonah’s. I get out more.” I eyed Leo. Would he pick up on that and know I was open to hanging out?
“Good to know.” He nodded.
Later in the week,I was in the locker room following our afternoon practice at my stall, unfastening my elbow pads and shoulder pads. The room was filled with banter, Rodgers going on and on about a shot he got past Ace and Ace grunting his reply. We’d played hard today, and I couldn’t wait to hit the showers. I pulled off my shoulder pads.
“Jonah tells me you have a new guy,” Mason said, stepping into my space with only a white towel wrapped around his slender waist, his washboard abs and tattoos on full display.
“Not really.” I turned around and sat on the bench, then rolled off my socks. I’d only secured the tickets for the game for Leo and his friend and sent a few texts about it. But otherwise, radio silence.
Mason dropped in next to me and came in close. “Jonah says the guy is older and hot. But hot in a charming, Hallmark movie guy way.” He grabbed my cheek and turned my face to his. “Is that true? Are you going to be living the life over the holidays, having hot chocolates with the guy at the Christmas tree lot?” He chortled, then released me.
“Stop it.” I chuckled. Mason was such a character. I removed my shin pads, then untied my skates. It always felt so good to get these things off.
Jonah walked up to us, also ready for the shower, wearing only a towel, his straight black hair dripping down his shoulders. “Dude, you weren’t supposed to tease him about it.” He flicked Mason in the head.
“Ow, shit.” Mason rubbed his hair. “You know me better than that, Boehm.” He planted his hand on my shoulder. “So, spill. Are you dating? Hooking up? What?”
“Nothing. We’re nothing. He’s coming to the game on Friday with his best friend and he’ll be at the Knot Me show on Saturday.” I shook my head, flinging a wet lock of my blond hair off my brow. “He knows Milo, and his brother is that hot guitar player in the band with the black hair.”
“Really.” Mason rolled his lips, glancing up at Jonah for a moment. “So what? You think he doesn’t like sloppy seconds?”
A soft chuckle rumbled out of me. “Do you have to put it that way?” I cut my gaze to his. “Listen, I don’t know how interested he is. He doesn’t date guys or hasn’t anyways.”
“But he’s bi, right?” Mason stood up, squeezing my shoulder.
“I guess he’s bi. He didn’t really say, so I don’t know for sure.”
“And he’s coming to watch you play on Friday?”
“Yeah, he’ll be there.”
The banter in the room stopped and I looked around us, all the guys in various states of undress, focused on me, shit-eating grins on their faces. Damn it, now everyone knew and if I fucked up on the ice, they’d think my head was in the stands and not in the game. “Don’t worry. It’s all good.” I waved my hands.
The chatter started up again and the guys went back to undressing.
“Well, the least you can do is invite him out for the party after we kick Wildcat ass.” Mason tsked, then walked off, flipping his longer, brown hair off his shoulder.
“So, you and Leo haven’t talked since Sunday?” Jonah sat onto the bench, then rested his elbows on his thighs and rubbed his hands together.
“Not really. We texted a few times, but it was logistics about the game and how he’d get his tickets.” I sighed. They were all making a big deal out of nothing.
“But you like him, right?” He patted the thigh pads on my breezers.
“Yeah, I like him.” Truth was, I’d thought about him a lot. Okay, maybe even fantasized about him? It wasn’t healthy, but it was what it was. “We’ll see what happens.” I pointed my finger at him. “Don’t embarrass me this weekend. Remember, he’s not out to anyone. He only told me he’s hooked up with guys and he’s still figuring his shit out. Okay?”
“Jesus, okay.” He grabbed my finger and went to bite it.
I ripped my finger out of his hand, my lips quirking into a grin. “Stop it.”