Stir (The Sizzle TV Series Book 5)

Chapter 24 – Nic

Cat’s tail twitches right in my face, showing exactly what he thinks of my life choices right now. Mainly in protest that I chose another set of push-ups instead of parking on the couch with him in my lap. I have to admit, I’ve been an inattentive owner, even by cat standards lately.

Brushing the hair off my face, I sit back, stretching, waiting to see if he’ll come to me. Sure enough, he parks right in front of my knees.

“Easier to get attention when everybody’s here, huh? When it’s not just me.”

Not that either of us should be getting used to not being here alone. It’s not smart, no matter how much it seems as though Natalie and Finn might be open to sticking around, that they might want the same things I do.

What things, specifically? That’s a damn good question. I know what I want from Natalie; I’ve known that from the start. It’s too much, too soon, though, and I’ve got no idea where Finn fits in with all those feelings.

He does, though. He fits.

My head’s been going around in circles like this for days. Push-ups help, despite how much they annoy my cat. After a few obligatory minutes of pet maintenance—AKA petting and attention—Cat wanders off again, and I get back to the workout. It’s easier not to dwell on impossibilities if I stay busy.

My routine’s been blown to hell the last few weeks, starting with that fucking note on my car. Rand called from Atlanta of all places, following a lead. Something about a license plate number for a rental car that didn’t pass the sniff test. I hope to God whatever he finds stays there. Maybe we can all go back to our regular lives.

Whatever that looks like. I’m going to need more than push-ups to bury that line of thought.

A knock at the door gives my protesting muscles a reprieve. Toweling the sweat off my face, I skip pulling my shirt back on and open the door.

Natalie blinks, staring at my chest. Given the time it takes to get her gaze up to my face, I can’t help but smile.

“My eyes are up here, sweetheart.” She blushes, her cheeks beautifully red.

“Hi,” she says sheepishly. “Finn asked me to meet him here. Is he already inside?”

It’s my turn to blink. “No,” I say. “That’s the first I’ve heard about it. Come on in.”

I close the door behind her, kissing her soundly, appreciating her newfound fascination with my torso.

“Missed you.”

“We just left work a few hours ago,” she says, breathless.

“Even so.”

I set Natalie back on her feet and fix her a water with fruit in it the way she likes. She’s barely settled on my couch and slipping her shoes off when another knock sounds at the door.

I let Finn in. He’s flushed, a little out of breath, like he’s been running. He shuts the door behind him, does a double take at my chest, and pins me up against the wall with a kiss, almost exactly where I pinned Natalie not moments ago.

He pulls back, eyes hooded, tracing a finger over my lower lip, a satisfied look on his face as he heads to the couch. He bends down, kissing Natalie slowly and sweetly. When he finally stands back, Natalie is dreamy-eyed and flushed. I clear my throat, ignoring that I probably look just as lovestruck.

“Hello to you, too,” I say to Finn. I grab one of his beers out of the fridge and carry it to the coffee table, taking my usual chair. Much as I want to be close to them both, I have a feeling this isn’t just a booty call.

Finn’s flush comes back as he eyes my chest.

“Everything okay?” Natalie asks, watching him with amusement.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says. “I didn’t come here for…” Finn waves a hand between us vaguely. Natalie and I glance at each other, and she giggles. I cover my smile with a hand. Finn glares at us.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t only come here for that,” he says. He’s actually blushing. God, it’s adorable. I want to find out if it tastes as sweet as it looks. “We need to talk.”

Natalie’s amusement dies, her eyes going round as dinner plates. I sit up straighter, wishing I’d grabbed that shirt after all.

“Talk about what, Finn?” says Natalie calmly, a subtle tremor in her voice. I can sympathize. I’m bracing myself for whatever the fuck bomb is about to drop. If he hurts her, if he’s shutting us down… I guess that’s his prerogative, but he will fucking live to regret it if Natalie gets hurt. My chest aches, and this time, the push-ups have nothing to do with it.

Finn squares his shoulders like he’s bracing himself. Fuck. Fuck.

“We’ve never really talked about what we’re, you know,” he says, gesturing between us again, “doing here.”

I raise an eyebrow. I can’t help it. “I thought that was pretty self-explanatory.”

“I don’t mean the sex. That was before.” Finn is blushing bright red now.

Natalie tilts her head, more curious now than scared. “Before what?”

Finn bites his lip. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man hesitate before. He looks everywhere but at me or Natalie.

“Look. I don’t know what—I care about you,” he says finally, looking at the ceiling this time. “Both of you. Before, it was fun. Obviously. And hot. And I would like to keep doing those things.”

Natalie catches my eye again.

“You mean, right this minute?” I ask, catching on immediately.

“No!” Finn’s head comes back down, frowning fiercely. “I mean, yes, that too, but?—”

Natalie scoots next to him, cupping his face in her hands until he’s looking right at her.

“Finn.”

His arms wrap around her like he can’t help himself.

“I want this to be more than just sex,” he says finally.

I set my drink on the coffee table and move to sit on his other side, my thigh pressing against his. Wrapping an arm around his back, I hug them both where we sit.

“It already is.”

Natalie’s reading my mind already, in that way she does, moving to kiss one side of his neck as I set my mouth to the other side.

“I’m serious,” says Finn on a gasp.

“We are, too,” says Natalie.

That’s the last any of us says for a long while.

Dinner at my parents’house is a stilted affair, but since they only subject us to it once a month, it’s bearable.

Of course, usually I have Barry to act as a buffer or a distraction. But since he’s still missing in action, this week I’m the lucky recipient of all the parental attention.

Mother has been making steady small talk about various acquaintances since I arrived. I make appropriate noises at the appropriate intervals, but she needs no help doing the heavy lifting in the conversation. I imagine that skill is part of the package of thirty-odd years of being a society wife.

I don’t hate my mother, far from it. Sometimes I resent her, though. And God knows, she has my pity. What kind of life that must be, married to a man who respects you so little. But I suppose everything has its trade-offs. Their home is one of the nicest, oldest mansions in the most established neighborhood in a city where that kind of history matters more than how many actual dollars you have. Or how you treat your wife and children. Or your employees.

I wonder if Dad’s already told her about what happened with Finn.

We make it almost through the end of the meal before he brings it up.

“And that reminds me, Nicolas,” he says, pointing in my direction with his steak knife. “I hope you’ve had time to deal with that situation from the other day.” He raises his eyebrows pointedly in case his hint isn’t heavy enough.

I take a sip from my wineglass and don’t speak.

“Nicolas,” prompts my mother. “Answer your father.”

“He didn’t ask me any questions.”

“Don’t be childish. Have you dealt with the situation I walked in on last week?” He glances meaningfully at my mother.

“Do you mean when you came into my office without an appointment and caught me kissing another man?” I ask. “Is that the situation to which you’re referring?”

Dad’s face reddens. Mother gasps.

“Nicolas!”

“I’m sorry you had to hear about it this way, Mother. Dad walked in on a private moment. More importantly, though, you should know that there’s more to it than that.”

“What on earth else could there be?” blusters my father.

I look him straight in the eye. “Finn and I are also seeing Natalie.”

That takes a moment to sink in. “Your secretary?” he asks, his voice higher than I’ve ever heard it.

“Personal assistant,” I correct. “Yes.”

“Both of you.”

“Yes.”

I drain the rest of my wine in the ensuing silence.

“You will end this… association at once.” He’s shaking, pointing a finger at me.

“I will not.” My tone is measured, even, and calm. I don’t need courtroom tricks for this.

I know what I want. I know what I’m doing. The certainty is in my bones, deep down in the marrow, unshakeable. This is the right thing to do.

My mother reaches for her wineglass with a shaking hand, keeping her eyes downcast. I reach over and touch her hand across the table. She pulls back. Only a little, but the message is clear enough.

“I’m sorry if this upsets you,” I say after a moment. “And again, I’m sorry it had to come out this way. I am bisexual. I’ve been dating both men and women for years. Lately, I’ve been seeing two people named Finn and Natalie. Please understand, I don’t take this conversation lightly. This is the most serious relationship of my life.”

She looks up at that.

“You can’t be serious,” demands my father, as though he expects telling me so will change everything.

“I am perfectly serious. I will not end it, and because I prefer to keep my private life private, I don’t intend on telling anyone else about us at this time.”

“People will find out,” he yells, shoving out of his chair. “People always find out. That’s how the world works.”

I rise from the table.

“That might be true,” I say slowly. “But in my case, I only keep my relationship secret because we’d prefer to live our life privately. Not because I’m ashamed of myself.”

If looks alone could commit violence, I’d be dead on the floor. “What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything,” I say.

“The hell you’re not,” he yells. “If you’ve got something to say, come out and say it like a man.”

Mother keeps her head down. For the first time, I wonder how many times she’s heard him yell like this, and I wonder whether she’s seen worse.

“You seem to think this may have something to do with you,” I say. “It doesn’t.”

“Your behavior is shameful,” he says. “Do you really think anyone is going to have anything to do with you when this gets out?”

“We’ve been over this,” I say, mentally checking out. Finn and Natalie are at home with Cat right now. I can think of one or two things I’d rather be doing right this minute. Or ten.

“I’m not talking about professionally, though God knows what all you’re throwing away there,” he says. “Do you really think your brother is going to stand for this nonsense? When he gets back from Atlanta?—”

I meet his eyes instantly.

“What do you mean, Atlanta?”

Dad smirks, crossing his arms across his chest. He lives for moments like this, where he’s the only one in the room with the information somebody else wants. “He called me yesterday. Didn’t I tell you?”

“Why is he in Atlanta?”

Dad shrugs. “He said he’s pursuing a lead with some contacts down there. Personally, I think there’s a girl, but whatever. Good for him. Getting out of town is good for him, I say.”

“How long has he been there?”

“Couple of weeks,” he shrugs again. “Maybe a month.”

That suspicious rental car was only leased maybe three weeks ago, Rand had said.

“Has he been back in town since?”

Mother and Dad speak at the same time.

“Yes.”

“No.”

Dad and I turn to look at her. She raises her head ever so slightly, staring at the wall across the room rather than making eye contact with either of us.

“He came to see me maybe two weeks ago. We were supposed to have dinner that Friday night, but he had to cancel at the last minute. He said something came up in the city, and he had to drive back straight away.”

Two weeks ago, Friday. The night of the break-in.

Motherfucker.

“I have to go.”

“Stop right now. We’re not finished here!”

I stop walking, turning to face my father one more time.

“This conversation is finished. I will not do what you want me to do, and I have no illusions that I can persuade you to understand my position. There is no point in arguing any further.”

He snorts derisively. “And you call yourself a lawyer.”

I shake my head. “Make all the jokes you want. I’m sure you will. I’m not changing my mind on this. Natalie and Finn are a part of my life now. I am not ashamed of them.”

“You should be.”

My mother makes a weak sound, and I can’t stand it anymore. “How do you live with this?” I ask her. “How can you stand it? The whole world knows what he does, but you stay here anyway. How?”

Her mouth tightens, her jaw clenching.

“What are you going on about, boy? Leave your mother out of this!”

I turn to him. “I’m in love with Finn and Natalie. What was your excuse? All those secretaries and personal assistants, and God only knows who else over the years.”

“Shut your damn mouth right this instant,” he yells. “Don’t repeat that filthy gossip in my house.”

I shake my head. My mother still hasn’t spoken.

“I’m sorry, Mother. Truly, I am. You know how to find me if you want to talk.”

I leave before I can hurt her any further. Maybe she’s used to it, but I won’t be the one dealing the blow, not if I can help it.

I’m on the phone before I get my car out of the driveway. Rand rings straight through to voicemail.

“Rand, it’s Nic. I know who sent the note and who broke into the office.” I give him a list of hotels I think my brother might be staying at, along with a physical description. “His name is Barry Pendergrass. Call me when you get this.”