16. Sammy
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
sammy
Damn small towns. Damn having an older brother. And damn nobody knocking in this damn family.
My head was still spinning from what had happened between Colt and I. The possibility that I might have a chance to be with him and Sarah made me feel a lot of things, all of them good.
I shut the door to Colt’s house behind me and crossed my arms. My older brother was sitting on the steps of the front porch. He turned slightly, looking up at me. He wore a brown jacket and jeans with boots, his eyes wide like he’s seen a ghost.
I sat down next to him. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
“Yeah, I agree,” he said.
I took a deep breath, trying to process it all. I was still in a whirlwind of a headspace. One moment, I’d had Colt in my lap, hard and ready—the next, my brother was walking in on us.
Cam let out a soft scoff. “ Colt? Out of all people. And I thought he wanted Sarah… God, I’m fucking confused as hell right now. ”
“This is new,” I said. “Like as in—you just walked in on our first kiss. Why didn’t you knock?”
“Because I saw your car in the drive and this was the last thing I thought I’d walk in and find. I’m sorry I did, for myself and for the two of you. And for the record, I’m not mad. Just shocked.” He sighed and pressed his lips into a line. He threw his hands up, looking at me. “I didn’t know you were into guys?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I am.”
He nodded slowly. I could see him recalling everything he knew about me and all the moments I’d definitely been checking out a guy instead of a girl.
“How come you never told me?”
I winced. This was one of those things the entire family would have expected to know about me, but sometimes I liked to keep my life private. I didn’t know how to say that without hurting his feelings. “I don’t know what to say, Cam,” I said. “I don’t go around telling you when I sleep with a woman. So I guess…”
“You don’t go around telling any of us anything. Sometimes I learn things about you from your videos online first.”
I didn’t know what to say. I sighed and grit my teeth as a cold wind hit us.
“Whatever Colt and I decide to do, it has nothing to do with you,” I said. “And I want to keep it that way. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt your friendship.”
“Sammy, I love you, but you’d have to pry my friendship with him out of my cold, dead hands. I thought he loved Sarah. And then Haley told me you took Sarah out on a date. So quite honestly, I am so fucking confused right now.”
“He does love her,” I said. “And I did take her on a date.”
“Then I’m even more confused? ”
I was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. “We’re still figuring it out,” I said. “If we can just have some space to do so…”
“Okay. Alright. I hear you.” He blew out a slow breath and clapped his hands on his thighs. “I’m going to go say bye to Colt and then get out of the way. I’ll talk more to you both later.”
I nodded as he stood and clapped my shoulder.
I looked up at him when he paused.
“So, I’m gonna say this once. But if you hurt my best friend, I’m gonna have to fist fight you. Understood?”
“Understood,” I said.
“Now, I’m going to go give him the same threat. Then I’m going home to wash my eyes out, have a drink, and tell my wife everything.”
I snorted as he went inside. I could hear the rumble of him and Colt talking, but couldn’t make out their conversation. The sky was dark gray, clouds hanging low over the fields around the house. I focused on the scenery, wondering if we’d get ice soon. I hoped not.
Eventually, Cam came back outside down the porch steps. “I’ll see you later,” he said. “Love you.”
“Don’t tell anyone,” I called as he unlocked his truck. “Love you too.”
He mimicked a key locking his lips, even though we knew that lock didn’t include Haley. I sat there as he backed out of the driveway, turned around in the grass, and sped off.
This was a disaster.
So much for secrets.
I should have known better than to think we could keep this from everyone else. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide it, but I didn’t know what was happening yet. Everything was so new.
In my wildest dreams, I hoped I could be with them both. It was slowly but surely hitting me that I was polyamorous, which meant I needed to do some more reading. When I’d met Rosie years ago and we’d chatted about it, I’d always found it interesting.
But it made sense to me that someone could love more than one person. And it made sense that someone could be loved by more than one person too.
“Are you going to sit out here and freeze or are you coming in for some dinner?” Colt asked.
I twisted around to look at him. His eyes sparkled with mischief despite what had just happened. The back of my neck went hot as I thought about him straddling me again.
“Dinner,” I said. “But let’s go to my apartment. I have all the cookware.”
“What—you think I don’t have cookware?”
I raised a brow at him and he held up his hands.
“Fine. Does that mean you’re cooking?”
“Yeah,” I said, fighting a smile. “Wine and dine, and all that… I’ll drive us.”
“Should I meet you there? What about when I leave?”
My cheeks flushed. I’d thought about that and maybe hoped he’d stay.
Maybe I was rushing this.
“I can bring you back later,” I said. “Or in the morning, before your date with Sarah…”
He nodded. “Alright, then. Give me a few to change and get my boots on.”
“I’ll warm up the car,” I said.
I got in and turned it on, blasting the heat while I waited for him. I pulled out my phone and opened up my phone, scrolling the recent notifications from the pizza-making video. Most of the comments were positive this time. I scrolled through until one made me stop.
You got blood on your hands and I know it.
What the fuck? I scowled, my palms turning sweaty as I stared at the comment. What were they talking about? I started to click on their profile, but I heard the door slam and looked up.
Colt headed to the car. He wore a burgundy sweater that looked good against his tan skin and blonde hair, paired with dark wash jeans and boots. I tucked my phone away, making a note to delete the comment later.
He got in and gave me an easy smile. “You okay? You look pale.”
“Just read a stupid comment,” I said. I reached over and turned down the air.
Colt frowned. “Do you deal with a lot of shit?”
“Yeah. But it’s fine. Comes with the job.” Although someone saying I had blood on my hands was new.
“I guess I’ve never really thought about it. It seems like a lot to constantly have to read comments like that. Have you thought about having someone manage your socials?”
“It’s not too bad,” I said. “I mean, I’ve been told a lot of bad things, but no one on the internet knows the real me. I try not to let it affect me.”
“Hmm. I can start fighting people in the comments if you want.”
I chuckled. “That would just make it worse. But thank you.”
We kept chatting as I drove to my apartment. My stomach danced with butterflies—a mix of nerves, lust, and excitement. This would be the second time Colt was in my apartment, and now it was for a reason that made my heart hammer.
No one else ever really came over. I always went to everyone else’s home when we had get-togethers. What Cam had said about not knowing me stuck with me for a moment .
It wasn’t intentional… well, maybe it was. I had a tendency to keep to myself unless I was working at the winery, but with that gone, I’d been focusing on making content and music. Hunter had been working the farm with Pops, keeping everything going smoothly despite his clear distaste for it all.
I couldn’t blame him. Of the three of us, Cam had always been the one most interested in the Harlow family farm. The vineyard had sparked his passion, which eventually turned into him and Colt opening the winery that also focused on small-batch ciders.
“You think louder than Sarah does when she’s stewing,” Colt said.
“I’m thinking about something Cam said,” I sighed. “He said no one knows me.”
Colt was quiet. I glanced over at him with a frown.
“Is he right?” I asked.
“I mean, we all know you. But you kind of keep things to yourself. I know what you do, but don’t know much else. Like who are your friends? You mentioned your polyamorous friend.”
“Rosie, yeah. She’s a lawyer I met through a cooking class. I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of friends outside of town or the family, to be honest. And I spend a lot of time online, probably more than I should. Maybe I’m just boring.”
Colt snorted. “You’re not boring. Far from it, really. I always thought you were the bookish type. I mean, Cam and I would always have to drag you outside.”
I smiled, thinking back to a time when we were younger. He was right, he and Cam had always pulled me outside to play even though I was a few years younger than them.
“Even though I’ve known you my whole life, I feel like I’m just now meeting you,” Colt said. “So I can see why Cam was shocked. For more than one reason. ”
“Did he give you a hard time?”
“He will later,” Colt sighed. “And he should. But he wasn’t mad, just shocked. He’s as straight as they come. I remember when I came out to him.”
“What was that like?”
I felt his gaze on me. “He thought someone in my family had died because I was crying so hard. I’d kissed a boy for the first time at a party, and Sarah had stopped talking to me. I found out years later that she saw us.”
“Oh,” I said, frowning. I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex. “Was she upset by that?”
“She was hurt he wasn’t her.”
“When did you tell her?” I asked.
“On her wedding day.”
My brows shot up. I turned the car off. “Alright, I want to hear more about this once we get inside. I think I’ll make us some chili and cornbread.”
“Hell yeah.”
“It’ll have veggies in it.”
He wrinkled his nose as we both got out. “If you insist.”
I grinned and led him up the steps to my apartment. My grin broke as I saw my door standing ajar.
My heart skipped a beat. “What the fuck?”
Colt grabbed my forearm nervously. “We should call the police.”
I shook my head and bumped the door with my foot, opening it completely.
My apartment was trashed. Blood drained from my face as I stepped past the threshold. All of my equipment was thrown across the floor—thousands of dollars worth of shit. My kitchen was wrecked. My guitar was busted.
“Fuck.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“I’m calling,” Colt said quickly. “Don’t touch anything. ”
I shook my head again. I couldn’t speak.
“ Sammy ,” Colt said again, snapping my attention to him. “It’s going to be okay.”
This time, I nodded at him. Blood rushed in my ears as he made the call. All I could do was stand there, wondering who could have done this.