Our bathroom window faced the front of the street. I watched out the window at the man below sitting on his motorcycle. He wasn’t doing anything, just staring off, his left hand resting on his thigh. He had a silver bracelet on and rings on almost each finger, tattoos covering his hand. I didn’t know what kind of bike it was but figured it was probably a Harley. My dad collected cars his whole life, so I was familiar with cars, bikes not so much.
Dad taught me how to change the oil, check the fluids and made sure I knew how to change my own tires in case I ever got stranded. I wish he would’ve taught me how to survive a psychotic husband. He told me once, “Marry someone who opens the car door for you. It means he’s thinking of you and not himself. If he doesn’t open your door, out with him. Don’t give him the time of day, Calliope.” I kicked myself for not listening to my dad.
Colin and I met at a cookout five years ago. Each of us invited by different friends that were attending. He came up behind me when I was getting another drink from the bartender that was hired to be there. “Don’t drink too much. Safety first, sloppy never.” That should’ve been the first red flag, but I see red flags and think they’re pink so of course, that time wouldn’t be any different.
Laughing, I said, “Oh, I’ll be just fine. It’s only my second one.”
He leaned against the bar and then casually grabbed my freshly made drink and handed it back to the bartender. Then he asked for some water and said, “Come on. I want to talk to you. Walk with me.” I should’ve been annoyed by him taking my drink but instead I thought it was cute.
Nodding, I grabbed my water and walked with him over to the shoreline of the lake. My friend’s backyard bumped up against the lake and it was stunning. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I’m Colin. And you’re beautiful.” He reached up and brushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear.
It made me smile. “I’m Calliope. Nice to meet you.”
“Well, Callie, I think this is the start of something good.” We carried on like that all evening, practically ignoring everyone else around us. Our friends pushed us together even more. My side convincing me he was such a catch and his side saying the same thing about me. That night he walked me to my car, and he didn’t open the door for me. Another red flag, or in my case, a pretty pink one and I should’ve known better.
Colin was possessive and not in a good way. He was controlling and needed to know everything all of the time. He had controlled every aspect of my life for five years. I had a wonderful job in a law office and shortly after we got married, he made me quit. That job was one of the things we bonded over. He’s a lawyer but he’s not a good one. He always defends the idiots, the abusers, the murderers, the ones that shouldn’t be defended. It makes sense though in hindsight.
Everything changed once we were married. He became abusive, verbally mostly but it only took one time of me being sarcastic for him to show me that not even physical abuse was off the table. I’m not sure what happened to him. Looking back, I guess he’d always been that way and I just chose to ignore it. Rolling my eyes, I should’ve listened to my dad.
Staring down at my new neighbor sitting on his bike while I hid in the bathroom was the highlight of my life. I went to the grocery store, went out to get the mail, and on a lucky day, I might stop for a coffee, but I spent majority of my time in the house where Colin could keep tabs on me. I hadn’t gotten the mail yet and wondered if I could sneak down there and go grab it just to see if biker man would glance over at me. Dying for some human interaction, I didn”t know if biker man was the right choice at the time, but anyone would”ve been great. I wasn’t sure what I thought would happen, but I was willing to try anything. A friend, maybe he could be a friend. I laughed to myself at the thought because I knew that would go over really well with Colin. Hey husband, meet my new hot biker friend.
Finally, I decided I would just go down there, but when I opened the bathroom door, I was startled by Colin standing there. He titled his head to one side and asked, “What are you doing, Callie? You were in there a while.”
I smiled at him before saying, “Just needed to freshen up. I was sweaty from cleaning the house and then doing my workout.”
He laughed. “You call that a workout what you do? Try going to the gym with me. The girls there do rigorous workouts.”
Had he really compared me to the girls at his gym? Insulted my working out, too. Nice. “Yes, well, you know how I feel about the gym. It’s just a bunch of animals grunting for each other.”
I tried to sneak past him, but he grabbed my arm, making me tense up. “Are you calling me an animal?”
“No dear. I’m calling those other boys animals.” I stressed the word boys the way he did girls. Never mind that I was a woman and his wife, even though he had never treated me that way.
“Hmmm. The men at the gym aren’t animals. It’s a sport. Training your body and putting it through demanding workouts to be at your best takes discipline.”
I smiled briefly, “Of course. I’m going to go grab the mail.” He let me go and I hurried for the stairs. When I reached the front door, I adjusted my shirt and my hair and then walked outside onto our porch, down our stairs and out to the end of the walkway toward our mailbox, hopeful for something that would make me smile.