Twenty Five
Kara tried to make sense of what had just happened. Not so much Vahn storming out – if anything, she understood that perfectly. He regretted what had happened.
It wasn’t surprising. Vraxians and humans had been killing each other for years and suddenly here they were, making out like randy teenagers under the guise of ‘scientific research’.
He’d come to his senses and left before things went too far. Nothing mysterious about that, it was a no-brainer.
What she didn’t understand was her own reaction.
She should have been just as perturbed as Vahn. No, worse. She should be drowning in guilt over what she’d allowed him to do to her.
It wasn’t like the first time in the cave, when he’d nearly made her come with his serpetrus. She hadn’t invited that intrusion and she’d stopped it. Eventually.
But this was different. This time she’d laid herself out for him like a goddam feast. She hadn’t just let him go down on her, she’d practically invited it. She should be curled into a ball of hot shame right now. But she wasn’t.
It took her a while to figure out why. The explanation was so simple, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen it until now.
I don’t see him as my enemy any more.
And there it was.
Maybe it was because he’d saved her life. Or that he’d let her sleep in the tent despite his own exhaustion. Or even that he’d brought her food when she was starving. Or maybe it was just that their forced partnership had let her understand him a little better.
But whatever it was, it was undeniable. Through some mysterious alchemy her feelings had altered and she no longer saw the Vraxian as a hated adversary.
When she brought him to mind now, it wasn’t as an alien monster with scales and tentacles. It was for the qualities she’d come to know in him. Strong but intelligent. Powerful yet protective. Muscles from here to Sunday but gentle when he needed to be.
If he was human, he’d pretty much be her perfect man.
Traitor!
She flinched as she imagined her mother screaming at her.
They killed your father!
She turned on her side and buried her head in her arms, trying to shut out the voice.
The SDF’s mission is to dismantle the Empire and destroy its leaders. You are betraying your planet.
“Shut up, shut the fuck up,” she muttered.
At least the experience had proved one thing. That Vraxians and humans weren’t so different after all. And if she and Vahn could find a way to co-exist while they were marooned on this planet, then maybe there was hope for the rest of their people.
She would explain that to him. Reassure him over what had happened. Remind him that all knowledge was useful on some level. And when they got back to their own people, the information they’d gleaned about each other could prove valuable.
What, like the fact that Vraxians are unbelievably gifted at oral sex? She flushed. She probably wouldn’t be sharing that tidbit with the rest of her SDF unit.
She drew Vahn’s jacket over herself and left the tent. The rain had softened considerably from the first deluge and was now a mild shower. She plucked one of the canisters off the ground and drank deeply.
Tomorrow she’d have a proper wash, she decided. But for now she made do with turning her face up to the rain and scrubbing her teeth with a finger. She slicked her hair back and searched for Vahn.
She found him a few hundred yards away, sheltering under a tree with a brooding expression.
“Hey,” she said lightly. “Are you okay?”
He didn’t answer.
“Look, I know you’re feeling bad about what happened. Mortal enemies and all, I get it. But the point of the experiment was to see if we could get along and we definitely demonstrated that.”
“We took it too far,” he said flatly. “I should not have done what I did.”
“I’m not complaining.”
He turned to look at her and the coldness of his stare took her aback.
“The experiment is concluded, human. We will not do that again.”
“Human? You can at least call me by my name after what you just did to me.”
“At your insistence. It was never meant to be part of our research.”
“Yeah?” Her temper flared. “I didn’t hear any arguments from you, snake-boy. And don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it because I saw your reaction.”
“My reaction is irrelevant,” he snapped. “It was wrong and it cannot happen again.”
“Jesus Christ, was I asking for a replay? No, I was not! I just came to see if you were okay!”
“I am fine!” he roared.
“I’m fine too!” she yelled back. Angrily, she stumbled to her feet. “Just tell me one thing, Vraxian. Do we still have a truce or are we back to trying to kill each other?”
“Of course we have a truce,” he growled.
“Good. Then I’m going to sleep in the tent and you can bloody well wallow out here all night for all I care.”
She stamped off.
Vahn watched her go, fighting the urge to sweep her into his arms and tell her the truth, that he wanted to repeat what he’d done to her a hundred times over. A thousand.
By the Temple of Ayanlesh. He exhaled wearily.
As if things couldn’t get any harder on this gods-forsaken planet.