Thirty Three
They walked in silence. As the hours passed, Kara’s initial shock turned to embarrassment, shame, and finally anger.
What right did he have to humiliate her, she thought furiously? She was convinced he’d been about to kiss her. It hadn’t been play-acting, she was absolutely certain of that. And then he’d what, changed his mind? I mean, what the fuck?
It wouldn’t have been so embarrassing if she hadn’t wanted him to do it. That was what she had a hard time admitting.
She had totally been up for it.
Sweet Jesus. Please tell me I don’t fancy him.
The truth was she’d been different around him ever since that heated ‘research’ in the tent when he’d made her come with his mouth.
No, let’s be honest. It was that first time in the cave when he used his serpetri on me.
The memory still made her face hot.
She liked him. She couldn’t deny it. More than liked him. Even now, as angry as she was, she couldn’t help dwelling on the play of his muscles as he strode through the trees.
But damn, he’d pissed her off. They were supposed to have a truce. She’d even told him they were friends. And the alien asshole had thrown it back in her face.
They reached the banks of the river they’d seen from the plateau and Vahn set up the tent. He worked quickly, wanting to make sure Kara had shelter before he left.
Now more than ever, he knew he had to put distance between them. He couldn’t be around her, not with his emotions running wild.
He knew she was furious. She had every right to be – he’d treated her abysmally. But there was nothing he could say to excuse his shameful behavior short of telling her the truth. And that was something she would never understand.
At least Rocky seemed more at ease with him so the charade had not been entirely pointless. The animal had disappeared into the woods, presumably to hunt, without snapping at him once.
“The shelter is ready,” he said at last. “And I have built a fire so you can…”
“You are such a fucking dickhead.”
“Ah good. Your temper is back. I had quite missed it.”
“What the fuck was that all about?”
“That what?”
“That thing where you almost kissed me, then threw me out of your lap like I was day-old vomit.”
“What a charming analogy. I thought we were only acting for the hound’s sake?”
“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Kara’s eyes flashed warningly. “What the hell is your problem?”
“My problem is you.”
Kara jerked as if he’d physically struck her.
“Me? What have I done?”
Vahn sighed.
“I think we should split up. The beacon is transmitting now. Sooner or later your people will come for you. I will leave you the blaster and…”
“Hang on, hang on. You’re leaving? ” She looked at him in disbelief. “You’re going to leave me on my own?”
“You will not be on your own. You have your pet.”
“No. Uh-uh.” She shook her head decisively. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t allow it.”
“I am not giving you a choice.”
“Screw that. If you go, I’ll follow you. And if you try to sneak off, Rocky will just track you down. So forget it.”
Vahn let out an explosive sigh.
“By the Temple of Ayanlesh, human, why are you so stubborn?”
“Because you haven’t given me one good reason why you have to go.”
“I do not have to share my reasons with you.”
“Yes, you do. After everything we’ve been through, after everything we’ve done together…”
“ That is why I have to go! ” His roar resounded through the forest and she went still.
“What do you mean?”
His jaw tightened. She wanted the truth? Fine.
“Being stranded on this planet with you has affected my biological responses. Tricked my body into thinking of you as a mate. And that has resulted in the creation of pheromones which are affecting you.”
Of all the excuses she expected from him, this was not one of them. She blinked.
“Huh?”
He tried again.
“When we are around one another, we go into heat. I cannot explain it any other way.”
A slow blush rose from her throat to her cheeks.
“You’re saying your, um, pheromones are making us want to have sex with each other?”
He regarded her steadily.
“It is all I can think about.”
Her face grew even hotter. But there was another heat too. Lower down. Much lower down.
“Well, I guess that explains a lot.”
“How so?”
“Even when I was furious just now, I still thought about climbing you like a tree.”
Despite himself, his mouth twitched.
“So you understand the torment I am going through? Why I have to leave?”
“Not really. I mean, if we know what’s causing it, we can deal with it.”
“Oh?” Vahn folded his arms. “Are you some kind of biology expert? You have training in pheromone suppression?”
“No, but…” she looked down at her hands. “It, um, it strikes me that if we just do it, we’ll get it out of our system.”
For a moment he thought he’d misheard.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not a biologist but I know that if you follow a biological impulse, the initial stimulus fades. Like, if you’re hungry you eat and then your hunger goes away.”
He cocked his head to one side, uncertain if she was jesting.
“You are saying that we should engage in vastra to remove any further desire for vastra? ”
“Well, I mean, we’ve done everything else.”
“You are wrong, human.” His voice was suddenly ragged. “There are many, many more things we could do.”
In the silence that followed she thought she might implode from the rush of warmth that gathered low in her stomach.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she said in a low voice. “So unless you have a better idea…”
She trailed off. He tilted her chin up with a finger, forcing her to meet his eyes.
“Our people would call it treason.”
“Yes.”
“Unnatural, even.”
“Yes.”
“Is this truly what you want?”
She nodded.
Vahn studied her, his mind in turmoil. He had told her plainly she was being affected by his pheromones and yet still she wanted him. More than that, she was offering herself to him so they could sate their desires.
He knew her theory was flawed. Making vastra would not end the compulsion, not for him anyway. Claiming her would only make the kalehsh bond harder to break. For both their sakes, he should say no.
But when he looked at her, when he breathed in her scent, he knew he didn’t have that kind of strength.
He wound his fingers into her hair and let his mouth descend onto hers.