Strength of Desire (Vesperwood Academy: Incubus #2)

3. Cory

3

CORY

“ W hat do you mean, moraghin want magic?” I asked Felix and Ash at dinner.

I kept my voice low. I didn’t think anyone at the other tables was paying attention to us, but I didn’t want to draw stares right now.

We’d gone straight to the refectory from the ball room. I was looking forward to changing clothes, but I wanted information even more. I set the bundled jacket Noah had given me on the floor by my feet.

“It’s what they eat,” Ash said.

I hoped that was some sort of exaggeration, but Felix nodded. “That, and the bodies of witches. We’re not exactly sure how it works, but moraghin only ever seek out witches. They feed on their power, and often that means feeding on them literally. Moraghin will kill regular humans or other paranormal beings if we get in their way, but it’s the witches that they really want.”

“They’re basically walking, non-talking, magical zombies,” Ash said, stabbing a piece of kale with his fork. “Their bodies are rotting around them, and the only thing that extends their life—if you can call it that—is feeding on more witches. They live to consume, and once they’ve got your scent, you either have to kill them or be killed by them. And even if you do kill them, if any of their blood gets inside you, you’ve got about twenty-four hours, max, before you begin to turn.”

He twirled the kale around on his salad plate and shuddered. I couldn’t stop myself from doing the same—the shuddering, not the kale. I’d opted for another plate of chicken tenders, but it was growing cold in front of me. I didn’t have much appetite.

“That’s awful,” I said. “There’s nothing you can do to stop it, if someone’s infected?”

Ash grimaced. “Not that anyone’s figured out. The kindest thing is to knock them unconscious and then, well, you know. You make it as quick and painless as possible.”

I stared at him, aghast. My mind raced back to Erika, up in the infirmary. Was that why Cinda had put her under a spell? Was she telling the truth about not knowing if Erika was infected? Or was she just trying to get us out of the room before she…

“Jesus.” I shook my head. It was horrible to contemplate. It did make a little more sense out of Noah’s actions, though.

He was afraid I’d been infected. That I was a danger to everyone else. No wonder he hadn’t wanted to look at me. He was probably envisioning having to kill me before I killed anyone else.

“Now you know why we were so happy you were okay,” Felix said, smiling warmly and, I suspected, trying to change the subject. “Although, I’ll point out, this does pretty much confirm that you’re some kind of witch.”

“That’s true!” Ash said. “I hadn’t thought of that. But there’s no reason for a moragh to go after you if you’re not one.”

I didn’t know what to make of that. Was I a witch? Surely the dean would have mentioned it if I were. But maybe eating an incubus was the one exception to the moragh’s dietary rule, their equivalent of a cheat day.

I was saved from responding when Ash caught sight of Min across the room and waved his fork to get her attention. His piece of kale flew off and landed on the worn brick floor.

“Hey,” Min said when she reached our table, Keelan trailing behind her. Their trays were piled with food. “Room for two more?”

“How are you guys?” Keelan added.

“Forget how we are,” Ash said over Felix’s, ‘ Of course .’ “How are you guys? We never got to talk to you after class today. Are you—have you been—” he broke off and winced. “Is there any more news about Erika?”

“She’s fine,” Min said, a relieved smile breaking across her face. “Cinda cleared her a few minutes ago—we were there when she told the dean. She said her whole bloodstream was clear of any infection. She has to stay in the infirmary for two nights to rest, and she can’t do Combat for a couple of weeks, but otherwise, she’s fine.”

“I’m sure the dean will make an announcement soon,” Keelan said. He sat down next to Felix, and Min sat on his other side, between him and Ash. I was grateful they were still wearing their grubby clothes as well. It made me feel slightly less noticeable. “He was still in the infirmary when we left.”

I could see tension drain out of Felix and Ash’s faces at the news. Felix’s shoulders fell away from his ears a little, and Ash actually ate a bite of his salad instead of just playing with it.

“Did the dean say anything about how the moraghin got in?” Felix asked, his brow furrowing.

Despite the day’s grim events, I had to stifle a chuckle. Relaxed Felix had lasted for all of five seconds.

“Not to us,” Keelan said with a shrug. “But I’m not sure he would.”

“He mentioned something about the wards to Cinda,” Min put in, “but they stopped talking as soon as they realized Keelan and I were in the doorway. Can’t let freshmen know anything, right?”

She shared a dark glance with Ash, but then brightened and smiled at me.

“I’m Min, by the way. I know we’ve seen each other around before, but it feels weird to not introduce myself.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I told her. “I’m Cory.”

“And I’m Keelan, which you’ve probably already figured out,” Keelan added. “So you’re the new kid. How are you enjoying life at Vesperwood?”

“It’s been, um…interesting?” I said, trying to be diplomatic.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Min said. “Batshit crazy is another. I would have freaked the fuck out if I’d seen moraghin during my first semester. Hell, I’m still freaking out.”

She shivered, and I smiled in relief. It was nice not to have to pretend to be cool about all this. On top of everything that had happened earlier, I was starting to feel that tug in my gut again, and a week’s worth of lessons with Romero had taught me that only meant one thing. I wasn’t looking forward to what came after dinner.

“So you’re a witch,” Keelan said—it wasn’t quite a question.

“That’s what they tell me,” I replied. “Though I didn’t know magic existed until I got here, so I’m still getting used to everything.”

“Oh my God, so you’re not just new to Vesperwood, you’re new to magic ?” Min said. “ And you saw moraghin in your first two weeks here? Honestly, how are you, like, upright?”

“I’m not entirely sure of that myself,” I laughed.

“So, do you know what you’re going to study?” Keelan asked.

I shrugged. “Still figuring it all out.” That seemed like a safe enough answer.

“Well, if you ever want help, just let us know,” Min said brightly. “I’m going out for Harmony, and Keelan’s a Hunter, but he does have a brain. He even uses it now and then, so he’s not a total meathead.”

“Excuse me.” Keelan brought a hand to his heart. “On behalf of meatheads everywhere, ouch.”

“Oh, don’t get mad about it. You know you take pride in having biceps the size of normal people’s thighs.”

“I’m not mad,” Keelan said, shaking his head sadly. “Just disappointed.”

“Go drink a protein shake about it,” Min said with a grin, and Keelan looked back towards the kitchen.

“I was thinking of getting a second helping of chicken…” he said hopefully.

I pushed my plate at him. I didn’t think I could eat any of it.

“Hey, speaking of birds,” Ash cut in, “what was the deal with that crow in the gym today, Cory? The one that attacked the moragh for you.”

“Definitely a raven,” Felix said. “Did you see the size of that thing?”

“I was more caught up in how it was trying to gouge the moragh’s eyes out. But was that the same bird you saw before?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I think so. At least, it looked familiar. And it seems a little weird that two separate birds would come and help me at different times, right?”

I still couldn’t quite believe the raven had found me again. I’d been so caught up in the way Noah was looking at me—or rather, not looking at me—that I hadn’t paid attention as I left the gym. Was it still there? It hadn’t followed me up to the infirmary.

“Where is it now?” Felix asked.

“Beats me.”

“You’ve got a familiar? That’s so cool. I’ve always wanted one,” Min said, her voice wistful.

“You’re welcome to mine,” I told her. Sure, the raven had helped attack the tenelkiri and that moragh, but I couldn’t help noticing that it only showed up when I was in danger. What if the bird was bringing the danger to me, somehow?

But it wouldn’t be fair to stick another person with that problem, I realized. Besides, I wasn’t even sure it was possible to transfer familiars. With my luck, they’d be permanent, like a weird mole that appeared on your back and started sprouting feathers.

After dinner, Felix walked Ash and me halfway back to our rooms before turning down a corridor on the third floor to head to his own room.

“It’s right next to the second library,” Ash told me as we waved goodnight. “Freshmen aren’t even allowed in there without a note. Can you believe he requested that specifically when he arrived?”

“Yes,” I said, voice deadpan, which made Ash cackle. “Yes, I can.”

I waited until he got his breath back, then asked, “Do all freshmen get their own rooms?”

“God no,” he said. “Felix just got special dispensation, and I guess they didn’t want to make you feel awkward, shoving you into a triple or quad with other freshmen who already knew each other. Your room would normally go to an upperclassman.”

“Where’s your room, then?” I asked, putting one hand on the bannister of a set of old wooden steps, leading up to the fourth floor. “I don’t think you’ve said.”

“Some things aren’t worth a mention,” Ash said darkly. “Besides, we’ve got more important things to talk about. Like that secret bundle that Noah gave you that you’ve been clutching all afternoon. What is it, his letterman jacket? You guys going steady now?”

The words hit so close to home that it took me a second to realize Ash was just joking like he always was. His tone was sing-song, and he was batting his eyelashes outrageously, but he wasn’t looking at me like he expected a serious answer.

He has no idea about you and Noah , I reminded myself. Not that there was a me and Noah. Noah had made that brutally clear. And not that I would even want that, anyway.

As far as I could tell, Noah was a jerk. So what if he was gorgeous? He’d never been nice to me. So there was no reason to flush like Ash had caught me out in some schoolboy crush. Definitely no reason for me to respond like I was embarrassed.

“Yeah,” I said. “We exchanged purity rings and everything.”

“I can’t wait to be your maid of honor. Felix will be the best man, obviously. As far as anyone knows, Noah has no social life, so it’s not like he’d contribute to the wedding party.” Ash snorted. “But you have to both wear baby blue tuxedos, though. That’s my one condition.”

“Sorry,” I said with a shrug. “We’re pretty committed to white taffeta and ruffles. My dress will be tea length, with lots of lace, and Noah’s will have an empire-waist, to show off his ample bosom.”

I’d learned all those words from Franny, who’d helped with costume design for our high school’s drama department. Ash laughed so hard, he stopped in the middle of the stairs.

“Oh God, can you imagine?” He shook his head, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “The worst part is that he’d probably make it look good. His pecs are pretty well-sculpted.”

“Every man wants to look his best on his wedding day,” I said, proud of myself for sounding so nonchalant—and for remembering those fashion terms.

“So which one of you will be wearing the garter?” Ash asked, still laughing.

“What’s so funny over here?” A new voice cut in before I could answer.

Ash and I turned around to see Sean, Tim, and Rekha coming up the stairs behind us. Sean wore the same arrogant smile as always. Was it just my imagination, or did he leer when he reached us on the stairs?

I swallowed, then stiffened my spine. I didn’t want Ash to know Sean had any effect on me. Besides, I had just been laughing about Noah. Surely if I were capable of that, I could face down Sean and his little group too.

“Oh, just the way you looked in class earlier,” Ash said, his smile malevolent. “I never thought I’d find out what a soaking-wet puppy-dog holding a sword looks like, but then you had the grace to display that for us today. The world is full of wonders, isn’t it?”

“We’re not puppies,” Tim growled.

“It’s called a metaphor, dear,” Ash said, his voice saccharine. “It’s a literary device used to make a point. I wasn’t saying you were actual dogs, but rather that you were over-eager, inexperienced, rather pathetic-looking creatures, hoping for a treat in exchange for ‘ helping ’ bring in the groceries. Do you understand now?”

“That’s rich,” said Rekha, her voice a thick drawl. “ You calling someone a creature.”

“I call it like I see it.” Ash grinned.

Her eyes narrowed and she muttered something, making a little ball of light appear above the fingers of her right hand. It looked a lot like the ones Professor Kazansky had our class working on—except this one had little sparks and crackles of lightning around it. She raised her hand in front of her chest, her fingers tightening into a fist as the little ball spun in place furiously.

I took a step back in spite of myself. I’d seen magic since I’d gotten to Vesperwood—lots of it—but I couldn’t do any myself. From what I understood, freshmen weren’t supposed to be able to do much with it yet, but maybe Rekha was the exception.

I caught Sean smiling at me, and my cheeks burned. Of course he would notice any sign of weakness in me. What the hell had I been thinking, hooking up with him?

“Oh, by all means, attack a pair of students in Vesperwood’s halls,” Ash said, still smiling. “I’m sure that will go over real well with the dean.”

Rekha’s eyes narrowed, like she wished she could shoot lightning out of them instead of her hand, but she let her fist fall.

“We were going to use those weapons to help fight,” Sean said, his voice full of contempt. “More than I can say for you or your demon buddy. You left poor Cory to face that moragh all alone, shivering and quaking. He had to cry out for Noah to help him.”

“I’m sure you would have done loads better,” Ash said. “It’s a lot easier to talk shit when you’re not the one the moragh was after.”

“I didn’t cry out to him,” I said, indignant, but also embarrassed, because Sean was essentially correct. I hadn’t done anything to defend myself, and I hated that.

“Ah, right. My mistake. You just stood there, pissing your pants, too scared to even move.” Sean shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s no different from how you act when there aren’t moraghin around.”

“He’s been here, like, two weeks,” Ash said, exasperated. “And he didn’t just stand there. He stabbed the thing in the eye.”

I blinked, looking at Ash. I did what now?

“For all the good it did,” Sean said.

“Right. And I suppose you came out of the womb knowing martial arts and everything?”

“At least he came out of someone’s womb,” Rekha said darkly.

“At least we can get through a simple sparring exercise without falling down,” Tim added.

“I’m doing my best,” I said, my heart thumping now, but I was as baffled as I was angry. Had I really stabbed the moragh? With what? And why didn’t I remember doing it?

Sean gave me another dismissive look, and anger surged, winning out over confusion. His words weren’t hurtful. Or, well, they were, but they were so close to the kinds of things my dad used to say that I was used to them.

But I was sick of Sean’s superiority complex. I might have…done things…with him, but that didn’t mean I was going to do them again. And I didn’t have to take this crap from him lying down.

You’ve taken plenty from him standing up, though, said the traitorous voice in the back of my mind. I kicked it, mentally.

“Ash is right,” I said. “I’m pretty new here, but I was under the impression being a Hunter was about fighting supernatural threats, not being a bully. Did I get that wrong? Is it actually just about making other people feel shitty so you can feel better?”

“Being a Hunter is about taking down whatever needs to be taken down. Hexers too,” Rekha said, her voice ice cold.

“I’m not bullying you, I’m describing reality as we all saw it,” Sean said. “Besides, I thought you liked it when someone put you in your place. Told you exactly how to take it.”

I inhaled sharply, and satisfaction spread across Sean’s face. I glanced at Ash, wondering if he’d understood the hidden meaning in Sean’s words, but he was still staring at Rekha. Tim was standing behind Sean, but the blank hostility on his face made me think the reference went over his head, too.

“Still, your little friend here has a point,” Sean continued. “You haven’t been here long. So let me reiterate my previous offer. I’m happy to help you out with whatever needs you might have. But I’ll wait until you beg me for it. I’m sure it won’t be long.”

With a nod, he continued up the stairs, Tim glued to his back like a shadow. Rekha gave Ash a final glare before turning to follow.

I sank back against the bannister as the trio disappeared around a corner at the top of the stairs. Christ, I really hadn’t been thinking when it came to Sean. It was pathetic enough that I’d hooked up with him, but I hadn’t realized I’d signed up to be humiliated by him every time I saw him afterwards.

“What were we actually laughing about?” I asked, trying to change the subject. “I can’t remember now.”

“Hmm?” Ash was still staring at the space on the stairs where Rekha had stood, his brow furrowed.

“Nevermind,” I said. “I just want to go collapse on my bed.”

“Fair enough,” Ash said. “Encounters with those three always make me want to punch a wall, but sleeping sounds like a good second option.”

We climbed the rest of the stairs in silence.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Ash said as we turned down my hallway, “and I’ll deny it if you ever tell Felix, but people like them really are in the minority here. Most of the paranormal students are great, and even a good chunk of the Hexers and Hunters. Min and Keelan, for instance. Just promise you won’t leave or anything because of Sean’s little posse, okay?”

“Leave? Oh, don’t worry. I wasn’t thinking anything like that.”

According to the dean, I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to.

“Good. You just looked a little…wobbly…when Sean was spouting his usual idiocy.”

“Just worried I might have to listen to him even longer,” I said ruefully. “You’ve seen one bully, you’ve seen them all. It’s like, get a new routine, change it up a little. Shouldn’t they be concerned about their act getting stale?”

“Clearly they’re not dedicated enough to their craft,” Ash snorted. But when we reached my door, he asked soberly, “What did Sean mean, about his previous offer?

Dammit. Maybe he’d been paying more attention than I realized.

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “Just—he caught me in the refectory on my first day here. Cornered me to ask if I was paranormal and offered some ‘ advice ’ on who he thought I should and shouldn’t be spending my time with. I told him to fuck off, obviously.”

“You did?” Ash looked surprised.

“Well, in slightly milder language.” I hadn’t been quite as valiant as I made it sound. “But I did tell him I wasn’t interested in that kind of help.”

Too bad he figured out what you were i nterested in later , said that little voice.

“I believe you,” Ash said with a laugh. “I was just surprised by your choice of words. You’re too polite to be an ass to people, even the ones who deserve it.” He grinned. “Good thing you have me around for that.”

I said goodnight to him and stepped into my room, leaning against the door in silence. I just wanted to throw myself on my bed, but I couldn’t. I barely had time to change before I had to meet Romero for another lesson. The tugging in my middle was growing stronger.

There were more professors out and about than usual tonight, probably standing guard for the dean. But long stretches of my walk to Romero’s quarters were still empty. The halls of the manor were dimly lit with globes that cast warm pools of light, but they left dark shadows in between. The place would have looked right at home in a Gothic novel.

I hurried my steps. I hadn’t been at Vesperwood for long, but I’d already come to think of the massive old manor as a place of safety. I didn’t like the idea of the building’s strong walls cracking, of tendrils of danger creeping inside.

I turned a corner and saw Professor Gallo standing at the top of a staircase, arms crossed, glared imperiously at a painting in a huge, gilt frame. As I got closer, he sniffed and spun away from the painting, only to look back over his shoulder a second later, arching an eyebrow imperiously.

It wasn’t until I was even with him that I realized it wasn’t a painting—it was a mirror.

When Romero opened the door to his rooms that night, I marched straight in and sat down on the couch. He sat in his usual chair opposite me, picking up a mug of tea.

“How are you tonight, Cory?” he asked, looking genuinely concerned. “I heard what happened in Professor Braverman’s class. Are you feeling alright?”

I opened my mouth to tell him I was fine, and instead blurted out, “Am I a witch?”

Romero blinked. “A witch? You’re an incubus.”

“Yeah, I know. But could I also be a witch? Is that possible?”

His eyes looked at the space above my head, darting back and forth, studying something I couldn’t see. It was a bit disconcerting, but I was beginning to realize this was how he thought things through.

“Possible? Yes, I suppose. But likely? No.”

My heart sank. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted his answer to be different, until it wasn’t. I just hoped it didn’t show on my face.

Romero’s eyes flicked back down to me. “I don’t know if Dean Mansur conveyed to you just how rare your kind is.”

“He said something about that. But I thought he just meant at Vesperwood. So that’s why you’re teaching me, instead of another incubus.”

“Not quite.” Romero took a sip from his mug. “You asked me earlier what an incubus was.”

“Sex demon. Realm of dreams.” I was surprised by how easily I could say those words, when two weeks ago I would have laughed at the concept. “It still sounds like something out of a fairytale.”

“I suppose it does, rather.” He laughed. “Let’s put it this way. You’ll have learned about our solar system in elementary school. The sun, the planets, and then the universe, full of stars and endless, empty, ever-expanding space?”

I nodded.

“Well, from a magical perspective, what we’ve learned is that there aren’t just other stars and planets out there, but inhabited worlds, where magic is much more common.”

“And incubi come from one of them?”

“Yes, and no. The way I defined space turns out not to be quite correct. Space appears mostly empty from a scientific lens, but from a magical one, it’s not empty at all. Not just because it contains other solar systems, but because space itself is not empty. Space is the world of the incubi. Space is the realm of dreams. In a manner of speaking, anyway.”

I frowned. “I think I’m lost.”

Romero looked above my head again. “You might think of all the planets and stars in our universe as being suspended in an invisible but all-encompassing substance. One that holds everything, touches everything, and yet is unreachable by most beings—unless they’re asleep. The dreamworld is that substance, cradling all the other swirling bits and pieces of our universe.”

“So it’s like… soup?” I said, picturing the minestrone we served at Carla’s Diner. “We’re all little bits of carrot and onion floating around in some kind of universal dream-broth?”

Romero laughed again. “Yes, actually. I hadn’t considered it from that angle, but that’s an apt metaphor.”

“But what does that have to do with being a witch?”

“Ah, yes. We’ve wandered rather far from the point.” He shook his head apologetically. “Under most circumstances, humans can only touch the dreamworld when they’re asleep—and even then, only sometimes. Similarly, an incubus usually cannot leave the dreamworld. But many years ago, a few incubi seem to have discovered a way to be bodily present in the waking world, here on Earth.”

“How?”

“We’re not quite sure. Incubi are rather secretive, and witches have not met many—at least, not many who have admitted their true nature. However they managed it, they discovered that if they mated with a human on Earth, they were able to create children—half-human, half incubus.”

“And that’s what I am,” I said.

“Unless you remember existing in the dream world before this, and finding a way to manifest on Earth as a fully-fledged eighteen-year-old.”

Sadly, I had way too many memories of an unhappy childhood with my dad to believe I’d done anything other than grow up with him here on mundane planet Earth.

“One of your parents was an incubus,” Romero continued. “Could the other have been a witch? As I said—possible, but implausible. As far as we can tell, an incubus embodied in this world tends to avoid witches. Has either one of your parents ever mentioned—”

“No.” I cut him off before he could finish. “Neither of them ever—no.”

My mom had left my dad as soon as she could after having me. I didn’t like to think about that much. About how little I’d meant to her. About whether she’d taken one look at me and been just as disgusted as my dad had been.

But my dad—the only thing less likely than him being an incubus was him being a witch. My dad wouldn’t even come to our high school production of Once Upon a Mattress , because he ‘ didn’t like that fairy crap .’ I couldn’t exactly see him casting spells like the students here did.

No, it had to be my mom who was the incubus, and my dad was just a regular human, stuck with a child who disappointed him more and more with each passing year.

I knew I should let it go. There was no point in holding out hope for something that would never happen. But it was hard. I couldn’t quite get over the thrill of seeing magic—real magic—that first day in Spellwork. And I couldn’t stop myself from wishing it were something I could do.

“But the moragh,” I said after a moment. “Did Noah—I mean, did Professor Braverman tell you about what happened in Combat?”

Romero nodded. “He did. I can only imagine how stressful that must have been for you.”

“Why would it have come after me, though? If I’m not a witch?”

“I’m not sure,” Romero said. “It’s possible it has something to do with you being an incubus. As I said—”

“We’re rare, and everything you know is from books,” I filled in for him, frustrated.

He chuckled. “I must sound like a broken record.”

It wasn’t him I was frustrated with, not really. It was myself. Or the world. Or both.

It just seemed so unfair, to discover that magic was real, only to find out I’d never be able to do it myself. I didn’t know how Ash and Felix stood it. Going through the same classes as everyone else, but only ever learning the theory. Sitting to one side and watching as the witches did magic, while the paranormals just observed.

No one else had clocked me as paranormal yet. They just thought I couldn’t do spells because I was new. But how long would that last?

If I could do magic—in just one area—hell, just one spell—it would have made being an incubus so much better. It would have been something I could control, instead of be controlled by. But that wasn’t going to happen, no matter how much I wished it would.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I should be grateful. If everyone thinks I’m a witch because that thing attacked me, I guess they’re less likely to figure out that I’m an incubus.”

“That’s one way of looking at it.” Romero gave me a sympathetic smile. “Do you feel up to another lesson tonight?”

“Do I have any choice?” That tugging in my core was so strong I was practically vibrating by now. I swore I could hear a hum throbbing inside myself. Or maybe that was just another part of me throbbing.

Stupid, unreasonable dick, getting aroused at the least convenient times.

“You always have a choice, Cory.”

“Sure, but when all my other options are decidedly worse…” I sighed. “Yeah, I’m up to it. Let’s get this over with.”