39. Amara
Chapter thirty-nine
Amara
“ T his is the one.” Jade spins around, holding up a red, lacy, crotchless bodysuit. “Classic. Sexy.” She smirks, waving it in Sophie’s face. “He won’t know what hit him.”
Sophie’s eyes widen like the lingerie might leap off the hanger and attack her. “I was thinking something… less intense. Like this,” she replies, holding up a pale blue babydoll.
“Less intense?” Jade scoffs, her voice dripping with disbelief. “Babe, the whole point of lingerie is to be intense. If you’re not leaving him speechless, you’re doing it wrong.”
Sophie’s cheeks turn bright pink, but she lifts her chin in defiance. “I’ll have you know, Sebastian is very satisfied.”
“I’m sure he is,” Jade quips. “But this couldn’t hurt.” She thrusts the lace bodysuit toward Sophie. “Humor me. Try it on and see how you feel.”
With a long, exaggerated sigh, Sophie disappears into the dressing room, the curtain swishing closed behind her. Jade immediately turns to me, eyebrows practically jumping off her face.
“No.” I shake my head, stepping back as she snatches another hanger off the rack.
“Come on,” she whines.
“You told me we were going to lunch,” I say, narrowing my eyes. “Not lingerie shopping.”
“We are.” Jade shrugs, unconcerned. “I just wanted to make a quick stop here first. Here,” she says, holding a black lacy number in front of my face. “Try this on.”
A laugh escapes me. “No way.”
“What? Why not? It’s hot.”
A flush of heat creeps up my neck at the thought of wearing something so revealing. “I’m not the type of girl who wears that.”
She scoffs. “Bullshit. Lingerie is for everyone. You walk into a room wearing this, and trust me, Nicholas will be on his knees.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re relentless.”
“And yet, you keep me around,” she quips, grinning as she shoves the bodysuit into my hands.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I step into the dressing room, the mirror greeting me with brutal honesty, the harsh lighting doing me no favors. My first instinct is to look away, but I force myself to stay. My reflection stares back, every curve and dip exposed under the unforgiving fluorescent light.
I inhale deeply, strip down, and slide into the lace. It’s delicate against my skin, the intricate pattern hugging my curves in all the right ways. The plunging neckline is daring, and for the first time in a long time, I feel sexy. Really sexy.
A small smile tugs at my lips as I grab my phone. I snap a picture in the mirror and send it to Nicholas before I can second-guess myself.
His response is almost immediate.
Nicholas :
Holy fuck.
You’re killing me.
Please buy that.
Buy ten more.
Warmth spreads through me as I read his words, my heart racing. I bite back a grin, change back into my clothes, and step out of the fitting room.
“Well?” Jade asks, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Is it a winner?”
“It’s a winner,” I say, holding up the black lace.
“Hell yeah. I knew it would be.” Jade nudges Sophie. “And you?”
Sophie exhales, defeated. “Fine. You were right. It’s hot.”
Jade beams as we head to the register. “I’m a genius. You both owe me for the best sex of your lives tonight.”
I let out a laugh, swiping the card Nicholas gave me, to pay for the lingerie.
“God, I’m starving,” Jade groans as we leave the store. “Do you guys want sushi or tacos?”
“Tacos,” Sophie counters. “I’m not in the mood for raw fish.”
“I’m cool with tacos,” I agree, but my attention shifts as my phone buzzes in my bag. Expecting another message from Nicholas, I pull it out, only to see an unknown number on the screen.
“Who is it?” Sophie asks, noticing my pause.
“Uh… no one,” I reply, unlocking the phone.
Jade smirks. “Let me guess. It’s Nicholas. The lingerie killed him, didn’t it?”
I let out a laugh, but my stomach twists as I open the message. It’s an audio file. No name, no explanation—just the file. My gut tightens as I press play and hold the phone to my ear.
“And what about Amara?” I furrow my brows, recognizing Alexander’s voice.
“You think I give a fuck about her?” Nicholas spits, venom dripping from each word. My brows raise as I hear the fury in his voice. “She was just a distraction. Doesn’t mean shit to me. None of it was ever real. Just a dumb fucking arrangement I had to make the best of.”
The recording ends, but the words echo in my mind. My hand trembles as I lower the phone, staring at the screen like it might somehow explain what I just heard.
“Amara?” Sophie’s voice pulls me back to reality. “What was it?”
I shove the phone into my bag, forcing a smile that feels too stiff. “Wrong number,” I lie.
She seems to buy it, her attention shifting as we head to lunch, but my mind stays stuck on the recording. Nicholas’s voice, so cold and detached, echoes in my head, replaying endlessly.
By the time I’m home, I’m drained—physically and emotionally—and teetering on the edge of tears. I sit on the edge of the bed— his bed —staring blankly at the lingerie bag in my hand.
I thought Nicholas was different. I thought I could trust him. But his words keep running through my mind, over and over, until they’re all I can hear.
I mean nothing to him. None of it was ever real.
And I realize, too late, that I was na?ve enough to believe otherwise.
Hours pass before Nicholas finally arrives. The elevator doors open, and he steps into the apartment, sending a chill down my spine.
It feels like I’m a stranger in this place, like it’s my first time stepping into this penthouse all over again. It doesn’t feel like home anymore.
“Fucking finally,” Nicholas mutters with a grin, already tugging at his tie. His eyes find mine, and that familiar spark flares to life. My heart stumbles, traitor that it is, his gaze glimmering as he walks toward me.
“Goddamn, I missed you,” he grunts as he closes the distance between us. His hands slide to my waist, his cologne enveloping me as he leans down to kiss me.
At the last second, I turn my face, and his lips land on my cheek instead.
He pauses, his breath warm against my skin, and pulls back slightly. “Everything okay?”
I force a smile. “Yeah. Just tired.”
He chuckles. “I bet.” His eyes flick to the boutique bag on the couch. “How was shopping?”
“Good.”
His grin widens. “I’ve been thinking about it all day. What’d you pick out?”
I step back, trying to shove down the ache in my chest. “I should get Pumpkin some food.”
“I can do that,” he offers, crouching down to scratch Pumpkin behind the ears. She arches into his touch, purring contentedly. I watch him for a moment, the tenderness of his movements stirring something deep within me.
She used to hate men, but like me, she fell for him. And it was all a lie.
For months, I lived in a bubble, thinking this life was somehow… real. A life where he treated me like I was everything, where he took care of me, kissed me like he meant it, told me I was beautiful.
I let myself believe it.
The ache in my chest sharpens, and I turn away, grabbing Pumpkin’s food. “I’ll do it,” I murmur, knowing it’s better she doesn’t get any more attached. In two weeks, we’ll be gone, and it’ll hurt her more then.
“Okay.” He stands straight, his eyes locking on mine. “Are you hungry? I can make us something.”
“No, I’m fine,” I say, busying myself with the food.
He doesn’t press, but I can tell he knows something’s off. He presses his lips to the top of my head, and the intimacy of the gesture freezes me in place. How could he do that when it means nothing to him?
“I’m gonna go take a shower,” he tells me, stepping away.
Once the bedroom door shuts, I close my eyes, and tears fall freely. How can he lie to me like this? How can he pretend to care when his words are so cold, so detached, when he thinks I’m not listening?
I thought I could handle it. I thought I could make it through until the contract ended. But I can’t. I can’t stay here, sleep in the same bed as him, knowing it’s all just a game to him, a way to pass the time until we’re out of each other’s lives.
After feeding Pumpkin, I crawl into bed, pulling the covers up tightly around me.
Nicholas joins me a few minutes later, the bathroom door swinging open, steam billowing out as he walks in, a towel wrapped around his waist, droplets of water clinging to his body.
Against my will, my eyes drop to take him in. Hot and wet and ugh … I roll over quickly, my back to him, squeezing my eyes shut. I’m still so attracted to him. My heart still beats for him. And he doesn’t care about me at all.
A minute later, I feel the bed dip as he slides in beside me. I hold my breath, hoping he’ll just go to sleep. But I feel him inch closer.
“You never did show me what you bought,” he murmurs, his hand grazing my hip. His lips find my neck, and I freeze.
“ Red ,” I whisper, the word slipping out before I can stop it.
He pulls away immediately, his hand falling back. “Okay,” he says, his voice soft but tinged with a hint of concern.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I’ve never turned him down, never wanted to. But the thought of him touching me when I know he doesn’t feel the same hurts too much. I can’t do it. Not tonight.
There’s a pause. Then he shifts closer, his lips brushing my temple. “You don’t need to apologize, honey. I’m more than happy to just lie here with you.”
My heart twists painfully. The sincerity in his voice almost breaks me. But I can’t. Not after what I heard.
“Everything okay?” he asks, quietly.
“Yeah,” I lie, trying to keep my voice even. “Just tired.”
He hesitates, then pulls back, pressing another kiss to my temple before settling against the pillows. He doesn’t push further. Doesn’t touch me again. Soon, his breathing evens out, and I know he’s asleep.
But sleep doesn’t come for me. Instead, my mind races, already planning what I’ll do once he leaves tomorrow.