Strictly Pretend (The Salinger Brothers #6)

Chapter 22

CHAPTER

TWENTY-TWO

EMMA

I’m curled up in Brooks’s arms when we hear people starting to gather outside the yurts. I’m guessing the bachelor and bachelorette parties are over. The rehearsal dinner is for family only tonight. There’s another barbecue going on in the clearing near the lake for the other guests, but because the wedding ceremony is tomorrow morning at eleven, the plan is for everybody to be in bed by a decent time tonight.

After we had sex the first time, I don’t think either of us was ready to talk about what happened with Will. It was too nice being softly kissed by Brooks, listening to him tell me how beautiful I am. Watching his whole body come to life again when his thumbs touched my nipples by accident.

So we had sex one more time before people came back from the ranch house. This time it was fast and hard. And damn, the man knows how to do hard.

I came twice. Which makes it four times for the day. A new record for me.

“Knock knock!” The sound of Mia’s voice cuts through our sensual pleasure-filled yurt.

Brooks’s eyes catch mine. There’s an almost smile there. Which for Brooks Salinger is like he’s in heaven.

“Stay there,” I murmur, rolling out of the bed. “I’ll get rid of her.”

“We need to get up anyway,” he tells me, pulling me in for one more kiss. I think he is genuinely addicted to my lips. “You need to eat something. Your stomach’s been growling for hours.”

I frown. “My stomach doesn’t growl.”

He tips his head to the side, looking amused. “It’s a very cute, pretty growl.”

I roll my eyes and pull up my nose into a snarl. “I’ll show you a growl later.”

He grins. “I’m going to keep you to that.”

I pull my cover up over my body and put the bikini bottoms on, not bothering with the top. I need to shower anyway. When I crack open the door, Mia is standing outside with a huge bottle of water in her hands.

“I thought you two might need some fluids after all that sex,” she says, looking amused. “I guess you’re feeling better.”

I immediately blush. “We haven’t been having sex.”

“Oh sweetie, a few of us came back earlier. We could hear you at the edge of the woods.”

“What?” I look at her, panicking.

She starts to laugh. “Don’t worry, we were all jealous. And Will…”

“Will heard?” My eyes widen.

“No, but he overheard us giggling about it afterward. And it was pure poetry.” She sighs. “Now take this and rehydrate.” She pushes the bottle into my hands. “We’re all going to shower before we head down to the lake for dinner at eight. Be there or be…”

“I’m feeling a little tired,” I say. “I might get an early night.”

She pouts at me. “But I miss you. We only have two nights left. I want to see you.”

My chest immediately tightens. I feel bad now. “Okay, we’ll be there.”

“Good.” She grins at me. “By the way, I’m so hugely happy for you.” She winks. “You deserve to be happy.” Then she turns and walks away and I close the door behind her.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I do deserve to be happy. I’m not sure what all has happened between me and Brooks but those four orgasms definitely weren’t fake. Nor were the two he had inside me.

But we still haven’t talked about his ex. And since it’s only forty minutes until we’re supposed to meet the others we won’t get a chance for a while.

I look over at the door between the living and sleeping area and the bathroom. It’s closed and I can hear the shower running. I wonder what he’s thinking, standing beneath the spray.

I just hope he’s not regretting it.

brOOKS

There’s nowhere I’d rather be less right now than standing with a group of men I went to school with. I wasn’t a huge fan of school. Emma would probably point out I’m not a big fan of anything.

But right now, I’m her biggest fan and I want to be back in bed with her.

She’s wearing a cute short dress, cream with a printed pattern of blue, green, and pink flowers on it, cinched at the waist then flaring out to the top of her thighs. She’s caught a tan today, even if she didn’t mean to, and her skin is glistening in the reflection of the flames flickering in the pit.

She’s also wearing a pair of cowboy boots. I’m not a big fan of them, but somehow they look perfect on her. I want to feel them around my waist as I fuck her later.

Because I am going to fuck her again. I can’t think of much else, if I’m being honest. I’m a little dazed and very much confused except for that one fact.

Emma is talking to Mia, leaning in close and nodding as Mia whispers in her ear. I’ve never met anybody who listens as well as she does. It’s a skill and it’s fucking sexy. Everything about her is.

She lifts her head up, as though she can sense the heat of my stare, her gaze catching mine. She gives me a little smile and I narrow my eyes back at her.

One taste of this woman and I’m hooked. I want her. In bed. With me. Now .

Two tiny discs of pink form on her cheeks, like she knows exactly what I’m thinking. Maybe she’s thinking it too. Damn, I need to stop this. I’m a breath away from walking over there, throwing her over my shoulders, and carrying her back to our yurt like a neanderthal.

Where everybody can hear us. Where the microphones – if they’re there – can hear us.

Fuck, I’m going to need to talk to Cassie’s father when the wedding is over. Make sure we weren’t recorded.

“Have you and Emma decided where you’ll live once you’re married?” Grant asks me, taking a mouthful of his beer.

For a minute the question takes me by surprise. That’s how little I’ve thought about this fake thing we have going on. But now, everybody thinks we’re getting married.

Is that such a bad idea?

Yes, it’s a terrible idea. Not just because we all know I’m not marriage material. But because I haven’t even gotten into the details of my infertility with Emma. We just had sex. In terms of relationships, we’re at the beginning, and yet every single person here – except us – thinks we’re about to get married.

“Not sure yet. We need to chat about it.”

“Do you think she will move to the city to be with you?” Grant asks.

My chest feels tight. “I think she’ll want to stay with her granddad. He owns a shop, she runs it.”

“But she won’t have to, right? You can move them both to the city with you? It’s not like you can move out when you have a business to run.”

“Maybe.” I can’t imagine her wanting to leave him. And now I’m thinking about that fucking contract that Luke found. I make a mental note to tell him to shred it. I’m not going to take that place away from her. Not even if it ends up costing me a lot of money.

“Tell you what, just buy her a nice apartment, give her a platinum card, and tell her to furnish it however she likes. That’ll bring her round. Buy an apartment a few blocks away for her grandpa. Or put him in a home, whatever.” The best man shrugs. “It’s amazing how money can make any woman melt.”

I grit my teeth together, stupidly furious at the insinuation that Emma can be bought. I know for a fact she can’t. Hell, even this arrangement was about her agreeing to look at the other place I found. Not actually agreeing to move to it.

“Thanks,” I say wryly. “I’ll give that all the consideration it deserves.” And then I lift my beer to him before stalking over to where Emma and Mia are talking to their friends.

I slide my arms around my girl, my body immediately relaxing as I kiss her soft brow. She turns to me, looking genuinely happy to see me.

“Everything okay?” she asks softly.

“Everything’s fine now,” I tell her gruffly. Because whenever she’s around, it is.

EMMA

When we get back to the yurt, Brooks slides my phone out of my pocket and points to the message from him flashing up on my screen. I frown. I’d forgotten we might be being listened to.

And then I blush, because dear god, I did not keep quiet earlier.

He points at my phone again and I take a deep breath and open it up.

I forgot all about the surveillance. I’ll ask Cassie’s dad to delete any recordings of us or I’ll get a fucking court order to do so. Please try not to worry. And also, please be quiet tonight. – Brooks

I lift a brow at him and he’s smirking, and I think a smirking Brooks Salinger might be my very favorite thing in life.

Of course I’ll be quiet. I’ll be asleep. – Emma

I turn the screen to show it to him, so he doesn’t have to take out his own phone. Instead of taking it from me to reply, he leans down to kiss me and I feel it right to my toes.

“Still feeling sleepy?” he asks me.

“Not really,” I confess.

“It’s a good thing I know how to make you sleepy.” He grins at me.

“And exactly how is that?” I ask, tipping my head to the side. I’ve always been so bad at flirting. Like embarrassingly bad. But he makes it easy.

With him, it’s like breathing.

He slides his hand down my side, pulling me toward him until my chest is pressed against his. I can feel his excitement, hard and thick against me. I feel dizzy at his closeness.

“We’re going swimming,” he tells me.

Okay, so that’s not what I was expecting. Not at all. “I thought you wanted to get me alone.”

“I do.” He gives me that half-cocked smile that sends shivers all through me. Then he walks over to the bed which has been freshened up by the staff – because of course the yurts here are fully serviced by housekeeping – and picks up the two fresh towels they’ve formed into the shape of swans. “Are you coming?” he asks.

“Do I need a bikini?”

His smirk widens. “Nope.”

“What if people see us? There are still a few of them down by the lake.”

He reaches for my chin, tipping it up until I have no choice but to look into his eyes. Not that I would have chosen to look anywhere else, but it’s strangely hot being manhandled by him. “Do you trust me?” he asks, his voice thick.

I let out a breath. “Yes,” I say honestly. It’s so strange, but right now I don’t think there’s anybody I trust more in the world than this man.

“Then come with me.”

EMMA

I should have known there was more than one big lake on this ranch. They have enough livestock to need all the water they can get, after all. Though as I pull my top off, Brooks explains that it’s a river that fills the lakes and ponds that are used to sate the thirst of the buffalo and other animals.

“You know a lot about it,” I tease, liking the way he can’t take his eyes off my chest as I unfasten my bra. “Have you been reading?”

“Nope. I sat behind Cassie’s dad on the coach and had to listen to him talking about the monitoring app he has for checking water levels.” He leans forward to kiss me again, like he can’t bear not to. He’s already in his shorts.

We’re completely alone. Brooks found this hidden glade when he came back on the ATV earlier. It’s like being in a fairyland. The water is more a pond than a lake – though a big pond at that. It’s an inky purple-blue, reflecting the colors of the sky. Trees surround us, their silhouettes black and majestic, and at the center of the water the reflection of the moon shimmers in the gentlest of breezes.

“Race you to the moon,” I murmur to him, pulling off my panties and throwing them onto the pile.

But he catches my hand and shakes his head. “If you go under I’ll never find you. We stick together.”

Quickly pulling his shorts off, he leads me into the water, and I’m transfixed by the way his skin looks in the moonlight. His muscles cast shadows on his chest, making him look like a work of art. I can’t take my eyes off him.

The water is warm as we wade in. It’s only when we’re waist deep that we start to swim together. I can tell he’s tempering his speed to swim alongside me, and it’s stupidly cute.

When we get to the center, the moon is fractured into a thousand tiny pieces around us, like little diamonds floating on the surface.

It’s not overly deep, not like the lake. The water is shoulder deep on him. Which would make it around eye height on me, if he hadn’t pulled me into his arms and made me wrap my legs around his waist.

We’re naked. He’s hard. Everything about this moment seems perfect.

“Are you sure you brought me here to talk?” I say, smiling.

“That and other things.”

I lift my head up to look at him. “Did you bring me here so nobody will hear me?”

“I brought you here so nobody will hear us ,” he says. “Me. Telling you what I need to tell you.”

It feels like a hundred years ago since he walked out of the yurt, hurt about Will’s revelations. I open my mouth to tell him it doesn’t matter anymore. I feel so beyond that it’s not funny.

But then I see the seriousness in his eyes and realize it’s not about me. It’s about him. His need to tell me.

I kiss him softly. “Talk to me, big boy.”

His mouth curls against mine. “You’re very distracting, did you know that? I had a whole speech planned.”

“Can we put it on double speed?”

He lets out a breath. “I had mumps. When I was fourteen.”

My chest tightens. “Mumps?”

He nods. “It wasn’t a big thing at the time. I was a bit feverish, a little swollen down there.” His face is serious. “But after a week in bed I was all better. Or so I thought.”

“But you weren’t?” I ask. I’m trying to picture him at fourteen.

“No. It can cause infertility in men. That’s one of the reasons they have the MMR vaccine. It’s not a huge illness anymore, but the side effects can be catastrophic.”

“Wait, you got mumps even though you were vaccinated against it?” I ask him. “That’s awful.”

He shakes his head, giving me the softest of painful smiles. “You remember the panic about vaccinations? My mom was worried about the side effects. So she arranged for me to have separate vaccinations for measles, mumps, and rubella. The theory is that the mumps one didn’t work.” He lifts a brow. “I guess it doesn’t matter anyway. The fact is I got the mumps, and it means I can’t have kids.”

“How long have you known?” I ask him, my heart aching for him.

“Lianne and I started talking about getting married. She wanted children, a lot of them. What I didn’t realize was that she was planning on starting before the marriage. She stopped taking birth control. Without telling me.”

I wince. “She did what?”

“And when she didn’t get pregnant, I guess she started to worry it was her. She must have gotten the all clear, because the next thing I know she’s suggesting we both get physicals. That’s when I found out.”

“Oh…” I frown. “That’s messed up. I’m so sorry you found out that way.”

“She was furious at me. Said I’d been lying to her. That I must have known.” His eyes catch mine. “I didn’t. It never crossed my mind. I’ve always used protection.”

“You used protection with me,” I say softly.

“Yeah. Because it’s not just about having kids, is it? I’m clean. But I want to make you feel safe.”

Oh this man. I tighten my legs around him. “But why did you two break up? If you were that close to marriage?”

He cups my face with his palm. “I was the one who broke it off. She started talking about IVF and adoption, but every time she did, she’d get this look on her face. Like she was accepting second best. I couldn’t forget that she’d accused me of being a liar. And as I said, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted kids. I just knew…” He runs the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip. “I just knew that I didn’t want them with her.”

“She says you broke her heart.” I kiss his thumb. Then suck it in. He lets out a soft breath.

“I think I probably did. But I didn’t want to.” His voice is full of sincerity.

I look him in the eye. “Do you think you’d still be together if you could have had children?” I’m not sure I’m ready for the answer. My heart isn’t. It’s painful and beating too fast.

“No.” His answer is unequivocal. “I was already having second thoughts. I never should’ve proposed.” He shakes his head. “All of my brothers were getting married and settling down. They made me think there was something wrong with me. I’m an asshole for hurting her, I know that. That’s why I decided that marriage, even relationships, weren’t for me.”

“Until you asked me to marry you.”

A wry smile pulls at his lips. “I knew you’d run when you found out the truth. Most women would.”

“What?” I ask him. “Seriously? You think I care if you can have kids or not?”

“I think it complicates things. And if, after this, you want me to put you down and let you swim back to shore, then I’ll do it.”

I jut my chin out, defiant. “I’m not swimming anywhere.”

He doesn’t answer. Just looks at me like he’s trying to work me out. And I want him to. He’s just opened up to me in a way I didn’t think possible.

For some stupid reason, he thinks his infertility is a dealbreaker. And it’s not for me. It’s just not.

I cup his face with my palms, leaning close enough for my nose to slide against his. “I don’t care if you can have kids. I don’t think IVF or adoption, or even having no kids is second best. I think you’re the best. That’s what I want. Just you.”

It’s like I’ve turned a key I didn’t know I was holding. Before the final word escapes my lips, he’s kissing me so hard that I have to cling onto his neck not to fall back into the water. He slides his hands down my back to steady me, his lips still plundering mine. I lace my fingers into his wet hair, deepening the connection between us.

It only takes a hitch of my hips to feel him against me. So hard. So ready.

“I want you inside me,” I breathe against his lips. “Now.”

“Protection…”

“I’m clean. You’re clean.” And I won’t get pregnant.

There’s a rumble deep in his throat that makes every part of my body tingle. “What did I do to deserve you?” he asks me.

“You exist.”

His hands cup my ass as he lifts me up, and I reach between us, curling my fingers around his thickness. We’re not kissing now. We’re just staring at each other, like neither of us can believe how lucky we are.

I line him up against me and he lets out the softest of grunts as his head pushes against me, slowly sliding inside. Water laps over us as he lifts me up and down on him, his movements slow, his kisses warm.

My heart is hammering against my chest because everything about him feels perfect. The demanding kisses, the gentle hands, the way our bodies fit together like it’s meant to be.

His breath is ragged against my lips as I roll my hips in time to the rhythm of our hearts. I kiss him, I caress his face, my fingers sliding over his cheeks and jaw like I’m trying to memorize every plane.

“You’re so damn beautiful,” he tells me. “Every part of you. Inside and out.”

His words set off a little chain reaction in my body. They make my cells dance, my body tighten, until I can feel every ridge of him as he moves inside me. I open my mouth to tell him he’s beautiful, too, but instead only a soft gasp escapes.

“Are you close?” he murmurs.

“So close.”

He brushes his fingers against the globes of my ass, then traces the hole between them. I gasp at the shock of it, then gasp again as he caresses me.

Why the hell does that feel so good?

“Brooks…”

“You want me to stop?” he asks, pressing me softly there.

“No,” I breathe. “Just… be gentle.”

“Always.”

He does it again, pressing his finger against me, until pleasure starts to build in my stomach, my thighs, my ass, his mouth soft against my body as he moves me up and down like the ragdoll I think I’m becoming.

A moment later my orgasm explodes through my body, and he slows his thrusts even more, whispering against my mouth that I’m a good girl, that I’m so perfect, that I look like an angel in the moonlight.

And then his words stop, because he’s coming too, holding me tight as he spills inside me.

For a moment neither of us speaks. It’s all we can do to breathe. And then there’s a loud hoot, from an owl, I assume, though whoever it was sounds loudly disapproving of the way we’re disturbing them.

We look at each other and start to laugh.

“Come on,” he says, kissing me one last time. “Let’s get you to bed.”