16. Sterling
CHAPTER 16
Sterling
“ T hey all knew.”
The words come out in a pained whisper. It’s amazing how the walls I try to build tend to crumble around this woman. A couple of hours ago, the only thing I felt was numb because I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. And now it’s like I can feel everything. The hurt, the anger, the disbelief.
I don’t know why Emilia’s the only one with the ability to do that. To draw all these emotions out of me. But she is, and that’s probably why I called her. Selfish as that action was, I needed her.
“Who?” she questions gently, her eyes filled with so much sympathy and kindness it hurts to look at.
“Everyone. My entire family,” I clarify. “They all knew the truth and they kept it from me.”
My jaw tightens as I think about every single thing my mother told me. She said it all with a blank face and a tone that suggested that it was water under the bridge. Because to them, it was. I’m the only one that has to deal with this new truth. With my new reality.
Harringtons can be so fucking cruel. Even the best of us, my father, hid everything from me.
“What’s the truth, Sterling?”
I exhale a heavy breath. “My mother had an affair. Or as she called it, ‘a mistake.’ One night after a couple of drinks, she accidentally slept with someone she shouldn’t have, and that led to me. She found out she was pregnant and she could have kept that hidden, but because she and my father have such a wonderful relationship,” I say bitterly, “she told him what happened. And he forgave her. Told her that he’d raise the child as his own. That my actual father didn’t even have to know. It all came to light eventually, though. Grandfather found out. It was a whole issue but they got their shit together, I guess. All parties came to an understanding and life moved on. The end.”
Emilia’s brow furrows. “I don’t understand.”
I chuckle darkly. “That’s exactly how my mother told me the story. I had a hard time understanding as well. But according to her, what happened in the past doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Respectfully, that’s bullshit,” Emilia states. “What about you? Your feelings?”
“My family isn’t really big on feelings,” I explain. “I was raised to handle things robotically, stoically.”
“Again, bullshit. Human beings aren’t robots. You’re not a tin man.”
“Thought you said I was one.”
“You don’t have to be,” she says quietly. “You can learn not to be.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I murmur.
“What else did your mother say?” Emilia questions. “Did she tell you who your real father is?”
“Yeah, she did,” I say on a short laugh. “The biggest revelation of the night, actually. I swear it’s the stuff of all those shitty melodramas on TV, angel.”
It’s not funny though, not in the slightest. Emilia waits patiently for me to speak.
“My real father’s name is Stephan Harrington. My dad’s half-brother. He was grandfather’s son out of wedlock. My mother had an affair with her brother-in-law. What all of that means is that I’m a Harrington after all. Ironic, isn’t it?”
Emilia huffs out a breath but she doesn’t say anything. When I look at her, she’s still got that soft look in her eyes. They betray no surprise or pity. Just understanding. Like she can read past all the bullshit. Like she can see directly into me.
“Where is he now?” she asks.
“He passed away about two years after I was born. Until a couple of hours ago, Stephan was an uncle who died tragically in an accident. Now he’s a father I’ll never get to meet.”
The words are like a lash against my heart. I imagine this is how it feels to be stabbed by a serrated knife. It feels like a wound that I can’t heal. A wound I don’t understand. How am I supposed to grieve someone like that? I don’t even know if I’m meant to grieve him.
I feel a soft touch on my shoulder, right before warm hands envelop me. I turn, allowing myself to lean against Emilia, resting my head against her chest.
“I-I don’t know how to comfort you,” she says quietly.
“That’s okay,” I whisper. “I just need you, angel.”
I don’t know how long we stay like that for. But it feels like forever before the pain in my chest begins to dissipate. It gives way to something else: longing. Because in this moment, I’m with a woman that’s invaded my thoughts more than anyone else. And I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want her.
When I look up, her eyes are already on me. Our gazes connect and nothing in that moment makes more sense than me placing my hand on her jaw. She shudders at the contact and then I’m lowering my head to hers. The first brush of my lips against hers is tentative. But when she doesn’t pull away, it spurs me on.
My entire body thrums with need. I shift even closer, my fingers pressing against the side of her neck as I taste her soft lips. I kiss her like my life depends on it, like hers does too. We latch onto each other, her arms curling around my neck while my hands roam her body.
It’s a desperate sort of kiss, full of angst and longing. So slow, like neither of us want it to end. And yet it feels like there’s a time limit. Like we’re a piece of glass that could shatter with barely any effort. I pull back just a little, cupping the base of her head, her blonde hair silky beneath my hand.
“Why did you stop?” she breathes, her gaze bright and full of longing.
“You don’t want me to?” I ask, trying to give her a chance to stop this. To ensure this doesn’t go any further than she wants.
Emilia shakes her head, eyes fixed on to mine.
“Are you sure, angel?” I prod. “Because if we do this, there’s no going back.”
She swallows softly. “I know. I want this.”
My lips tilt up in a smile. “Good girl. There’s no rush, though. I’m going to take my time with you,” I murmur before taking her lips, swallowing the sweet little humming noise she makes.
Her hands trace across my shoulder and a shiver races down my spine when she drags her nails against my back. Our tongues slide together and she tastes so fucking erotic. My cock is so hard it hurts right now.
“Can I touch you?” I whisper against her lips.
My hand slides down the curve of her body, my thumb resting against her full breasts. She’s wearing a big T-shirt and black leggings. My words are a plea because I want to take off her clothes and feel everything, touch her everywhere.
“Yes,” Emilia breathes, shifting back to take the shirt off.
She’s left wearing a blue bra that pushes her tits up, making them look entirely too enticing. Her nipples are clearly hard beneath it.
I flick one budding nub and she moans, “Fuck.”
I press a kiss to the bottom line of her jaw and another right beside her jaw.
“Sterling.”
The sound of my name on her lips drives me crazy. Like it might undo me. I kiss the spot just below her ear and she squirms against me. I hear her breathing quicken.
“You like that, angel?” I ask, nipping at her ear.
She mumbles something incoherent under her breath. Her fingers tighten as they rest in the back of my hair. I reach for the back of the bra, unclasping it, so that her bare tits are exposed in front of me. They look so soft and full, her pale pink nipples as hard as rocks.
I immediately drop my head down and suck her breast into my mouth, taking a long pull. Her chest arches into me.
“Oh, God,” she groans, her hand moving wildly over my chest.
“Let’s not bring God into it yet, angel. I haven’t even started,” I murmur around her tit.
I move to the other one, providing it with equal attention. Emilia’s a writhing mess and when I pull back to look at her, she paints a picture that gets me impossibly harder.
She’s the stuff of dreams. So incredibly beautiful.
“Tell me, angel. How wet are you right now?” I ask huskily.
“Why don’t you find out for yourself?” she retorts.
I chuckle. Fuck, I love that sass.
“You wish is my command,” I tell her.
She starts to breath even heavier as my fingers trail down to the top of her leggings. I skirt the edge for a moment before I reach further, brushing past the lacy material of her panties. Emilia gasps when I tease at her entrance, swirling my finger around the moisture gathered there.
“Fucking hell, angel,” I breathe.
“Don’t get cocky,” she mutters.
I smile. “Take it off,” I command, looking into her eyes.
“What?” she asks shakily.
“Your pants, sweetheart. Stand up and take them off.”
Her eyes narrow.
“Please,” I add.
She smiles before slowly rising to her feet, maintaining eye contact as she slowly slides down her leggings. She’s so fucking sexy.
“Those too,” I state, gesturing at her panties.
Most women would grow shy but Emilia has nothing but laudable confidence as she takes off every article of clothing on her body until she’s standing naked before me.
“Happy?”
“Very,” I drawl, lifting my hips to shuffle out of my pants as well and then my briefs, leaving us on even ground.
I grip my hard cock, stroking it once, twice. She watches intently, almost hungrily, the look in her eyes spurring me on even further. When she can’t take it anymore, she steps forward, her bare tits jiggling with the movement.
“Let me,” she murmurs, sitting in my lap.
She places a soft hand against my cock, giving it a slow drag with, her fingers. I palm her breast with a squeeze, pressing my lips to her shoulder.
“You’ve got all the power right now, angel,” I whisper against her skin. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I want to fuck you,” she states.
And I grin because those words are music to my ears. I slide one hand between her legs, a whisper of a moan sliding from her lips at the touch. My cock jolts in response. I’m desperate for a release but I want to drag this out, intensify the pleasure.
“I’ve thought about you like this,” I say softly, my fingers grazing her clit.
She shifts on top of me, gripping my shoulders with her eyes shut.
“On top of me. Begging for my cock.”
Her eyes fly open to rest on my face. “I’m not begging you, Sterling.”
“No?” I ask, sliding one finger into her before adding another. “I think you will, darling.”
She moans my name, grinding against my fingers, fucking them while she chases release. A release I’m not too keen on giving her until she begs for it.
“You want to come, angel?” I ask lowly.
She shivers. “Yes.”
“Then beg me.”
Her nails dig into my arms, the pain mixing with the intense pleasure of the moment even as her pussy grips my fingers.
“Come on,” I prod, my fingers hitting a deep part inside of her that has her screaming.
“Please,” she gasps. “Please let me come, asshole.”
I grin. “That’s my girl,” I tell her before my thumb snakes up to her clit, massaging it in tandem with the fingers moving inside of her until she explodes.
“Fuck,” she groans, her head resting against my chest as she comes.
I rub her lower back to calm her down, waiting for the aftershocks to stop. When they do, she pulls back to look at me, her expression tender, but I’m glad to see some hunger still in her expression. I’m about to lift her and set her down on my cock when I remember something.
“Shit, I don’t have a condom,” I tell her.
Emilia’s silent for a beat. “That’s okay, I think. I’m on birth control. I get shots every month. And, um… I’m clean.”
“I’m clean too,” I state, touched that she’s choosing to trust me, to take a chance on us. I press a quick kiss the side of her jaw. “So are you going to fuck me now, or…”
She stares at my hard cock for a second before reaching for it. I notice the hesitation in her expression and my heart speeds up.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, angel,” I quickly say.
“No, I want this. It’s just… been a while since I’ve had sex,” she informs me nervously.
I run my palm across her hips in a soft, soothing motion. “Take your time, angel. You’re the one riding this bus.”
She laughs at that. “Pun intended?”
“Maybe,” I reply with a smile of my own.
“Okay, I’m ready,” she says, lifting her hips and shifting forward.
I tweak an erect nipple with my fingers before taking it into my mouth, sucking hard as she slowly lowers herself onto my cock. I jerk at the sensation of entering her.
“You feel so fucking good,” I groan, clutching her ass.
“And you’re so big,” she moans.
She doesn’t move for several moments, acclimating to my size. Finally, when she’s ready, she holds onto my shoulders as leverage to rise before taking me down into her once again. She soon sets a pace that has me seeing stars as she bounces on my cock, taking every inch of me.
“Fuck, Emilia,” I growl. “You’re so fucking tight.”
Her moans come at a higher pace as she continues to fuck me.
“That’s it, angel,” I tell her as she rocks her hips back and forth.
My hands are gripping both her ass cheeks tight, helping to guide her rhythm. I feel her walls clenching around me as her pace speeds up. Her eyes glaze over and I can tell she’s about to come. She does so, screaming my name in a way that has me ready to burst as well.
I hold on to her, thrusting upward, in and out of her wet pussy. Emilia’s hands slide around my neck and she drops a soft kiss on my jaw before placing one against my lips.
“Let go, Sterling,” she whispers.
And that’s all it takes. I slam into her one more time before my orgasm rushes through me and I release with a soft groan. I fall backward on the couch when I do, taking Emilia with me. She’s content to stay like that, resting her head against my chest as we both try to remember how to breathe properly.
That was fucking amazing.
Neither of us says anything for a long moment. Until she starts to shift on top of me.
“I need to use the bathroom,” she mumbles tiredly.
She stands and I watch as she walks, or should I say wobbles, to the bathroom door, grabbing my white shirt off the floor. While she’s gone, I grab my boxer briefs to wear as well. It takes about five minutes before she returns. My shirt has been buttoned and the way she looks in it makes me want to throw her back down on to this couch and fuck her until she’s screaming my name again.
Cool it, Harrington .
She walks over to me with a short yawn that makes her look adorable, with her disheveled hair and tired eyes.
“Sleepy?” I ask.
She shakes her head, “No I’m fine.”
“Come here,” I prompt, gesturing at my arms.
I lie on the couch and she doesn’t hesitate before lying down on top of me. It’s weirdly comfortable. I start playing with the strands of her hair, running my hand through it in gentle motions.
“You can sleep, angel. I promise you’re safe,” I tell her.
She doesn’t say anything for a couple of moments.
“Okay,” she decides, yawning again. “I’ll just close my eyes for like an hour.”
“No complaints from me,” I state.
She’s out like a light in a matter of seconds. She snores when she sleeps. It’s light snores, the cute kind that makes her even more attractive, although I didn’t think that was possible. I continue brushing my hand through her hair, enjoying the solid weight of her above me.
Until eventually the soft lull draws me to close my eyes, as well.