18. Sterling
CHAPTER 18
Sterling
T hings settle eventually. The past couple of weeks were relatively quiet. Albeit busy owing to the recent development. I’m glad for the work, though. It serves as a good distraction from everything else. Especially since the woman who is helping me through it is at the core of one of the biggest things weighing on my mind.
I want Emilia, but I also don’t want to scare her off. So right now, I guess I’m biding my time. Keeping her by my side and waiting until she eventually trusts me enough to open up to me.
My parents are still in town. This is the probably the longest period of time they’ve stayed in one place since I graduated college, which is how I know they feel a little guilty about everything that happened. Or at least my dad does.
My mother is still my mother. She’s never going to change and that’s okay. I made peace with who she is a long time ago. Initially, I wanted to blame her for everything, but at the end of the day, her choices are what led to me. The person who was probably the most hurt by her actions has learned to live with it. So I guess I have to as well.
“Ster,” my dad calls as I’m heading out of the house.
He’s jogging up the driveway, dressed in blue running shorts and black Vans. There’s also a blue sweatband around his head. I stop beside my car, waiting for him to reach me. When he does, his breathing’s a little erratic and there’s some sweat on his brow.
“Aren’t you too old to still be running?” I question with a raised eyebrow.
He rolls his eyes. “Who are you calling old? You and both know I can outrun you easily any day, kid.”
“Big talk for an old man,” I return easily.
Running’s one of the ways my father and I bonded when I was younger. I initially took up the hobby because of him. It was a way to emulate him, find similarities between us. I used to try so hard. But at least now it’s a hobby I genuinely enjoy on my own.
“Yeah, whatever. Listen, son, I wanted to talk to you about Sean’s birthday. It’s coming up in a couple of days.”
“I know, Dad,” I say drily. “I’m already making plans to get him his presents. As I’m sure you have as well. Just try not to spoil him too much.”
“I’ll try,” he says, and I inwardly sigh. “Anyway, what I wanted to say is maybe we could have a little get together. Like a small party for Sean.”
I frown. “And who would be the invitees?”
My kid’s turning six and as far as I know he has no friends in town, or anywhere, really. Something I’m hoping changes when he starts kindergarten soon. I tried to put it off because I was worried he’d be too antisocial to fit in, but after seeking expert opinions, I’ve been assured that putting him in an environment with other kids will only help him.
“I was thinking we could invite the Camerons. His nanny told me he likes one of them, the new one. Sean keeps asking to see her.”
“Her name’s Emilia,” I state. “She’s my assistant.”
“Yeah, Jeremiah told me,” my dad says with a smirk I do not like. Not at all. “He also informed me the two of you have a relationship of some kind.”
“A professional relationship,” I affirm.
“Sure. Let’s go with that. I’d like to meet her. She’s been so busy working with you and you’ve been busy as well. The party will be a chance for you to kick back and rewind.”
“This all feels like an elaborate plot,” I mutter. “Father, please mind your business.”
He chuckles, the smile lines around his mouth becoming more apparent.
“This isn’t about you, Ster. I genuinely just want to meet her. And it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Carson, as well.”
“He’s too busy being a big shot in Greenville.” I smirk.
“Exactly. Jeremiah and I want to get all the kids together. I was going to call Spence as well.”
My lips immediately pull into a scowl. “Don’t.”
The past weeks without my brother have been blissful. I’d rather not see his smug face unless I have to.
Dad sighs. “He probably wouldn’t come anyway. So, what do you say?”
“It seems you and Jeremiah have it all planned out,” I concede.
“Great. Invite Emilia for me. I’ll make all the preparations.”
“No problem. Is that all? I’m running late for work.”
“No,” he replies lowly, his expression growing serious. “Where’s Sean’s mother? Will she also be absent for his birthday?”
My jaw tightens. “I don’t know where she is.”
“This is ridiculous. A person doesn’t just cut contact for months,” he says angrily. “Sean’s going to ask for her as well. Especially on his birthday.”
“He told me one of his birthday wishes is to see his mom,” I say, frustrated, as I run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Dad. I’ve tried but I just can’t reach her.”
“Do you want me to talk to some of my contacts? If she won’t appear on her own, we could make her.”
“I’m trying to give her time. She asked for time when she left,” I murmur.
“It’s been long enough,” Dad states.
“I know. I’ll figure it out, don’t worry,” I tell him.
“Alright, son,” he says on a sigh. “Get to work. See you later.”
He claps my shoulder affectionately before heading into the house. Once he’s gone, I exhale a breath, thinking about Marissa for a couple of moments. I have a bad feeling about all of this. But I can’t concentrate on that right now.
Especially not when I have so much to do. Before heading into my car, I send a text to Emilia. I’ll see her in a couple of minutes once I arrive at the hospital, but she’s made an unspoken rule that whenever we’re at work, our relationship is strictly professional.
I would applaud her efforts if it didn’t fucking piss me off.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I quickly type out the words.
Me: I need a favor.
She responds in less than a minute.
Emilia: Which is?
Me: Sean’s birthday’s in a couple of days. He’s been asking for a dog, and I plan to get one for him. I already made an appointment with a breeder on a farmhouse just out of town. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?
Emilia: As your assistant?
I can practically hear the hesitation in the words.
Me: Not necessarily. As my friend. We agreed we were friends, right?
Emilia: Sure… But a drive out of town, alone, sounds like a bad idea.
I think about just how many things I could do to her that she would consider a bad idea. My lips curl into a smirk.
Me: Scared?
Emilia: Absolutely not. I just don’t trust you.
She really shouldn’t.
I rub a hand over my jaw before I reply.
Me: Don’t worry, I won’t do anything. I promise. Not unless you want me to.
Emilia: I don’t want you to do anything.
Me: I’ll behave, angel.
It takes a minute before her reply comes.
Emilia: Fine. But I’m only going because of Sean. I’m sure he’ll love a cute little golden retriever. Or a Labrador.
I smile reading the words.
Me: We’ll leave after work.
Emilia: Okay.
I feel lighter as I step into my car. Emilia tends to have that effect on me. It’s amazing how insignificant my problems feel when I’m around her. I just wish she’d let me in so I can help her the way she does me.
“The guests have already arrived in the back gardens, sir,” Karl informs me after I’ve granted him leave to enter the room.
It’s Sean’s birthday today. The whole house has been abuzz all morning, preparing for my father’s party. Sean already spent the morning opening his presents, one of which included a small pup—a golden retriever he’s decided to name Lion. When I asked him why, he said it was because he wanted the dog to grow up to be big and strong. Strong enough to protect him even when his parents aren’t there.
He was happy. Happier than I’ve seen him in a while. He might be a quiet, reserved kid, but I know he’s been a little lonely. Especially without his mother. I hate that I can’t protect him from emotions like that. I want to shield him from every bad thing in the world.
I just don’t think that’s possible.
“Where’s Sean?” I ask, patting down on the front of my hair to ensure it’s not wild or messy.
Karl hesitates. “I’m not sure, sir. His nanny is searching for him. Your father brought him to meet the guests earlier but he ran off when none of us were watching.”
“I see,” I murmur, not in the least bit surprised. “I’m sure he’ll turn up. He probably just got overwhelmed.”
“Yes, sir.” Karl nods.
I step forward, heading for the door, then pause, looking at Karl.
“All the guests are around?”
“Yes. All the Camerons are in attendance, as well as some of your father’s other friends in town.”
I sigh. “If he really wanted to have a get-together for himself, he should have just said so instead of pretending this party’s for Sean. Dad just loves attention.”
Karl’s expression doesn’t change, but I do notice his lip tilting up fondly. He and my dad are pretty close. They grew up together and have known each other their whole lives. Dad’s probably the reason Karl’s been so devoted to this family all this time.
“Let’s go.”
He follows me out the door and we head to the garden for the party. Time for mind-numbing conversations with boomers that will only comment on how much I’ve grown, how adorable Sean is, and how proud they are of my accomplishments.
I have nothing against my father’s friends. I just don’t find any of it necessary. At least Emilia will be there. And Carson. I should be careful, though. If Carson gets even a little suspicious about my relationship with his sister, the tone of this party will change dramatically.
That asshole is nothing if not dramatic.
We’re about to turn a corner on a hallway when a voice has us drawing to a stop. “Sean, I’ve been looking for you. Why are you hiding here?”
I fall still, as does Karl behind me.
“Hey, Emilia,” I hear my son say.
“Hi, birthday boy,” she says excitedly. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Are you having a happy birthday?”
There’s a slight pause before he replies. “All birthdays are meant to be happy.”
He says it like a question, one that makes my heart ache. I lean against the wall, titling my head to the side to nudge Karl away. He gets the message, turning around and leaving quietly.
“That’s not really true,” Emilia says softly. “And you’d be surprised, honey. Lots of birthdays aren’t happy. Sometimes people feel sad on their birthdays, and people get hurt, too. Which is why it’s important to always try to feel happiness. Because it’s your special day.”
I cross my arms around my chest, wondering at that answer. Just how many birthdays have you spent sad or hurt, angel?
“I’m happy,” Sean tells her. “Dad got me a puppy.”
“I know. I picked it out with him. What did you name him?”
“Lion.”
I can hear the smile in her voice as she says, “That’s a really nice name. Reminds me of The Wizard of Oz . There’s a lion in it as well. Which also reminds me. Here’s your present.”
She must hand it to him because he makes a short gasp of delight.
“It’s a book.”
“Yes, it is. You’ll love it. It was the first book I ever read. And I’ve loved it since. It has a lot of big words though.”
“That’s okay. I like big words,” Sean informs her excitedly. “Thank you, Emilia.”
“You’re welcome, sweet boy.”
There’s a short lull in their conversation until Sean speaks up again, his voice small.
“Emilia, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Why do you like Wizard of Oz so much?”
“Because it helped me realize there’s a whole world out there that I might not have known about. And that nothing is permanent. Everyone is capable of change.”
“I don’t want anything to change,” Sean says timidly. “Change is bad. It took my mom away.”
“I’m sure she’ll come back, honey,” Emilia assures him.
Deciding I’ve heard enough, I step forward. Sean notices me first, eyes widening. Emilia’s crouched down in front of him, running a hand through his hair. She turns around to see what’s caught his attention. When her eyes meet mine, they grow brighter. I don’t know if she knows this, but her eyes sometimes change color depending on her mood.
They grow bluer when she cries or if she’s pissed. And when she’s really happy, they almost seem to sparkle. It’s mesmerizing. Even more so that she’s looking at me like that. It’s why I have faith we’ll find each other eventually. Her mind just needs to catch up to whatever it is she’s feeling in her heart.
“Hey, Tin Man. How long have you been there for?” she questions, rising to her feet.
She’s a vision in the dress she’s wearing. It’s a short, dark blue flowy dress that’s cinched tight around her waist. She’s paired the outfit with thigh-high boots, and blonde strands of her hair float across her face in magnificent curls. It makes her look like the stuff of dreams. Probably a wet dream where she’s a sexy-as-sin cowgirl riding my cock.
My jaw tightens as I try to focus. I force a small smile, walking toward them.
“Long enough,” I answer her before looking down at Sean. ‘Hey, bud. If you don’t want to be at the party anymore, you don’t have to. You can go to your room.”
He bites down on his bottom lip, hesitating. “But what about Grandpa?”
“I’m sure Dad won’t mind if you rest for a bit. I’ll tell him when I head outside.”
He brightens. “Okay. I’ll just read some of my books a little, and I’ll come back after playing with Lion.”
“You do that.”
He runs off without another word, heading further into the house and leaving me alone with Emilia. Neither of us says anything for a couple of minutes. We just stare, our gazes intertwined. My eyes on her don’t make her nervous. Eye contact is sexy, and Emilia could teach a master class in it.
She continues to look at me without saying a thing. Like she can read the thoughts running through my head, see into me the way I so desperately want to see into her.
“You know staring’s rude, right?” I ask, breaking the silence.
She blinks. “You started it.”
“What are you, five?” I ask on an eye roll. “I was staring at you because you look beautiful. What’s your excuse?”
Her lips part and they’re momentarily distracting. She has on red lipstick. I want to lick it off, bite down on each cherry lip until they’re naturally red and swollen.
Fuck, this woman has no idea what she does to me.
“What’s with the compliment?” she asks, recovering. “Buttering me up isn’t going to get you anywhere, Harrington.”
“Oh yeah? So what is?” I question, my tone serious.
She arches an eyebrow. “You sound like you’d really do anything I ask.”
“I think I would,” I reply honestly. “Do anything you asked, that is. You have a lot of power, angel. And you don’t even realize it.”