Suck My Puck (Denver Bashers Series #3)

55. Braden

Chapter 55

Braden

W hen I wake up, there’s a sharp pain in my lower back and a dull ache in my hips. I shift and instantly groan.

“Easy there, champ,” a female voice says. “Try to stay still.”

It’s a struggle to open my eyes, I’m so groggy. Like I’m being jolted awake from a dead sleep.

I felt like this the one other time I went under general anesthesia for shoulder surgery a few years ago.

When my vision starts to focus, I see the nurse standing over me, adjusting the blankets on my hospital bed.

She’s speaking, but I’m so out of it that I don’t understand what she’s saying. It feels like the bed is moving. The gentle motion is so soothing that I doze off.

When I wake up, Bella’s beautiful face is the first thing I see.

“Hey, pretty girl.”

When she smiles, I see those dimples I can’t get enough of. She stares at me, her heart in her eyes. She cradles my cheek in her hand. “Hey. How do you feel? ”

“Sore. Tired.”

She runs her hand through my hair. I hum at the soothing feel.

“Your phone has been blowing up with well wishes and texts asking how you’re doing,” Bella says.

“Tell them I barely made it out alive,” I joke.

She gently smacks my hand. “Oh my god, you’re terrible.”

I start to laugh, but then pain shoots up my back and hip. I groan. Bella sits down on the edge of the bed, right next to me.

I rest my hand on her hip and she holds up my phone, which is buzzing with texts. “Want me to message everyone for you and let them know you’re recovering in post-op?”

I nod. “That would be great. Thank you.”

She smiles down at my phone and swipes her finger across the screen, tapping away. After a couple of minutes, she stops.

“Um…” She looks up, her expression uncertain. “Your dad called you.”

Hearing that jerks me out of my grogginess. “He did?”

She nods.

“Did he leave a message?”

She shakes her head. Just then, there’s a soft knock at my hospital room door.

“Come in,” I say.

When I see my dad walk in, my brow hits my hairline. A concerned frown is etched into his face. He looks so worried about me.

It takes a second for me to process that realization—that he cares enough about me to worry.

He stops in front of the door. His gaze scans my face for a few seconds .

“Hey, son.”

Just hearing him call me “son” makes my chest go tight. He hasn’t called me son in years. Not since I was a kid.

I clear my throat and swallow back the sudden surge of emotion. “What are you doing here?”

He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets like he’s uncomfortable. Like he knows he shouldn’t be here.

“I, uh, heard about you donating bone marrow to a kid with cancer,” he says. “It’s been all over sports news today.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

He hunches his shoulders like he’s ashamed. “I reached out to a media contact of mine and had him track you down.”

“Really? That’s an impressive effort.”

He flinches at the edge in my tone. A second later, I see something I’ve never seen before. I see my dad tear up.

He sniffles and clears his throat. “When I heard the news, I was so worried about you. And I needed to see that you were okay.” He pauses. “I, uh, I’ve been a horrible father to you, Braden. And I’m so sorry.”

I go quiet for him for a long moment. All I can do is stare at him. I never expected him to say any of that.

“Hearing that you were going into surgery set something off in me. I…I needed to see you. And I need to apologize for the things I’ve done to you.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Hockey has been my whole life. I didn’t know how to balance being a good dad and a good coach, so I chose the second option. It took me a long time to realize it was the wrong choice. I spent most of your life treating you like a player instead of my son.” He blinks quickly, like he’s holding back tears. “I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t realize just what I lost until that night in Victoria, when your girlfriend told me off.”

He looks at Bella, who’s still sitting by my side. She looks at him with a pitying expression.

He gives her a sad smile. “You were right. I’ve treated my son terribly. And I lost so much time with him because of it. It’s my biggest regret in life. Thank you for putting things in perspective for me. And I’m sorry I met you under such unpleasant circumstances. I’m happy my son is with someone so supportive. Someone who defends him against anyone, even his own dad.”

Bella nods. “He’s an amazing guy.” She aims a soft smile at me.

My dad turns back to me. “I’ve been wanting to reach out to you ever since I saw you in Victoria, but I thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me. But then I heard the news about you donating bone marrow and having surgery, and I got so scared.” His voice starts to shake and he trails off. He clears his throat and takes a breath. “Are you okay?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

He hesitates for a moment. “You probably won’t believe me when I say this, but I’m so proud of you, Braden. I should have told you that a million times in your life. I’m so sorry I didn’t. I’m grateful you’re my kid. You make me proud every single day. I’m sorry I was so hard on you. It was the only way I knew how to be for a long time. It’s no excuse, but I wanted to explain.”

Silence stretches between us as I process his words. That tight feeling in my chest intensifies.

“I don’t expect you to want to have anything to do with me,” he says. “I’d love that, more than anything in the world. But I understand if you don’t. I just want you to know that I love you.”

A mix of emotions courses through me. Shock at what he’s said. Sad that it’s taken him so long to say all that to me. Happy to know that deep down, he loves me and cares about me and is proud of me.

The wall I always put up whenever my dad is around feels softer now. It’s not that things between us are magically better because he said all that to me. They’re not. I still feel so hurt at so many of the things he’s said and done. But he knows he messed up. He apologized. And he seems like he wants to change.

I don’t know if we’ll ever have a normal father-son relationship. But I want to at least try.

He glances down at the floor. “I should go.”

He starts to walk off, but I stop him.

“Dad, wait.”

He stops and turns to me, his eyes wide with surprise. And hope.

“You threw a lot at me just now. I’m going to need some time to process it all,” I say. “But I want to try having a relationship with you.”

His eyes widen the slightest bit. He blinks and for the first time in a long time, I see warmth in his gaze when he looks at me. “Thank you, son.”

“Thank you for coming here, for telling me all that.”

“I’ll let you get some rest. Can I call you in a few days to check on you?”

“I’d like that.”

He flashes a small smile at me and Bella, then leaves.

Bella turns to me, tears in her big golden brown eyes. She squeezes my hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just…that was a lot. Hearing him say all that. Things will probably be weird between us for a while. But I think it’s worth trying to have a better relationship with him.”

She nods and smiles. “I think so too. ”

I scoot to the side of the bed and pat my hand on the space next to me.

She quirks her eyebrow up. “Is this allowed?”

“I don’t care. I want you with me.”

She cuddles beside me and I kiss the top of her forehead. I instantly relax with Bella by my side. My heart tumbles around my chest, feeling so damn happy and so damn lucky.