Suddenly You (Our Exception Book 2)

Chapter 10

“Is this place for real?” Coop gasps, and I bite back a grin.

“Yep. This is the dollar store.”

His mouth opens and then shuts. “You never told me. What does that mean?”

“It means everything in here is a dollar or less.”

His eyes are like saucers as we walk down the aisles.

“I need a cart. I’m a millionaire, Matthew. I’m going to buy it all.”

A laugh escapes me as he turns and jogs outside, returning with not one but two carts.

“Coop,” I say with a grin. “What are you doing? Half this stuff is junk.”

“Yeah, but it’s a dollar, Matthew. My world has been turned upside down. I’m a new man.” He rolls a cart to me. “Now push this, babe. I have things to buy.”

I watch him with rapt attention as we make our way down each aisle and he inspects everything, placing them in his cart.

“This lube is only a dollar, Matthew. I wonder if it’s any good. We’ll have to try it.”

“Oh my god. It’s remote control poop. It farts. Listen.”

“A pregnancy test. Sure, why not?”

“Escargot.”

I’m not sure I should let him buy that, but I don’t say anything. When I tried to reason with him about the maxi pads he plugged his ears and scowled at me.

By the time we make it to the register, both carts are full and the poor kid behind the counter just sighs, his shoulders slumping. Coop isn’t even apologetic about it, although he does leave the guy a hundred-dollar bill on the counter. A tip, he calls it.

My head shakes in disbelief the entire way home, bags of junk rolling around in the trunk and at my feet.

“I can’t believe I went my whole life not knowing about the dollar store.”

“Yeah, well when you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“There were cans of fish, Matthew. In brine. That’s… I’m so intrigued.”

“We are not eating that. If we do, we may die.”

He giggles and turns to look at me, reaching out his hand. “I’m incredibly happy. I don’t want to die, so that will just go in the cupboard and nowhere near a plate.”

“Thank god,” I say as I hesitantly slide my fingers between his. His hand squeezes mine, and I turn my gaze to the window, watching the city go by as he drives us back home.

I just can’t get over being touched. It’s too much. And yet, at the same time, not enough.

I carry the bags to the elevator and then into the living room where we spend the next hour going through all the ridiculous shit he bought.

“Honestly, why did you need a pregnancy test?”

“You never know. There could be an alien invasion and they could have sperm that makes men reproduce.”

“What the hell?” I ask with a laugh.

“I don’t know, Matthew, but I need it. In case the aliens come.”

I snort and then look at the piles once more. “You know, you can’t keep all this. I could ask my brother, Magnus, if he’d like some of it. Maybe they could use it for one of their treasure boxes in class?”

“Oh,” Coop says, his eye brightening. “Oh yes. And ask him what more they might need. I can totally go back tomorrow and grab more.”

The thought that he’d do that has me shooting a text to Magnus and asking him if he could make use of this stuff. He replies almost instantly that he could, and so we make plans to head out there someday soon to drop it all off.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous for buying all this stuff but at least it will go to good use.”

He pulls me close to him and rubs his nose against my skin. “I may be ridiculous but you adore me. Admit it.”

I do. I do adore him, but I can’t say it. This will all come to an end eventually anyway. So I just hold on to him a bit tighter until he eventually pulls away.

“Now, about dinner. Would you like me to cook or should I order in?”

I look at him and then the weather outside. It’s still raining, a steady stream.

“Maybe I should cook.”

“Oh yeah? You cook? Will you wear just an apron so I can see those hot as fuck buns while you’re working?”

My cheeks flush, and I turn my gaze away.

“I’ll be wearing clothes, but I can figure something out. You’re always cooking for me. I think I need to start doing something for you.”

“You really don’t need to, but I do love a male cooking. And I am rapt to watch you move around in the kitchen. All domestic.”

My eyes roll, but I manage to look in the fridge with some decorum. I can feel his eyes blazing into me though, and I feel my cock perk up at that. The things he does to me, like earlier in the tub—the fact that I merely rubbed against him and came, the way he touched my asshole, and I was wild with lust over it.

I don’t know what’s going on, but I refuse to question it. Max is happy and so is Magnus. Maybe I can be happy with a man too.

I am happy with one.

For the time being, at least.

“How about a Cobb salad?” I ask and Coop’s eyebrows rise.

“A salad? That’s what you’re going to cook?”

“Well, I’ll have to boil some eggs and cook some bacon, so yeah. Cook.”

He waves his hand around his face and then stands up, moving to the alcohol cabinet.

“You making a drink?”

“Mhm, and one for you, my handsome chef.”

I ignore his comment, even though my chest puffs out a bit. He thinks I’m handsome. He’s attracted to me, and it seems that I am attracted to him as well.

I carefully put the eggs on to boil and then get to work with the bacon. As it cooks, I chop the vegetables and watch as Coop sits back at the island, sipping on his lemon drop cocktail. He handed me my Long Island iced tea a moment ago, and I’ve been sipping on it. Fuck, he made this strong.

“Why yes, Matthew. I can see the question in your eyes. I do fully hope that the drink relaxes you and we can take a very relaxing bath again tonight.”

My heart thunders in my chest as I take the bacon out of the oven and get to work chopping it. The eggs are peeled next and the avocados sliced. By the time I finally hand him his bowl of salad, my dick is on full alert. It’s ready for a repeat of this morning.

I want a fucking repeat.

“Very good,” he says, placing a large bite into his mouth and chewing. He takes a sip of his lemon drop and then sighs. “Probably the best salad I’ve had.”

“Fucking doubtful,” I say, even though I feel myself swell with pride. No one has complimented my salad-making skills before. When have I actually had a compliment from someone about anything recently?

The only ones I’ve gotten have been from him.

And my body and mind eat them up.

I’m a glutton for his praise.

“No, for real. I’ve been all over the world and this is the best salad I’ve ever eaten. Unless I was to toss yours, of course. Then that would trump this.”

I choke on the egg lodged in my throat and take a glug of my drink. My head spins as Coop casually pats me on the back.

“I’d really like to try it sometime. When you’re ready. If you’re ever ready. You just say the word.”

“You’re not going to toss my salad.”

“Of course not. Forget I said anything.”

But of course, I can’t. I obsess over it as we finish our dinner and then sit outside together, my body lying between his legs, my head on his chest. And then I obsess more later on when he runs another bath for us and leads me into it, stripping me down and tugging me into the water.

He wraps his arms around me, and I lean back into him once more, loathing that tomorrow I need to wake up and go to work.

I have zero desire to work anymore. Not when I could stay here with Coop and be pampered.

I just want to stay in his arms night and day.

But that’s not reality.

“What are you thinking about?” Coop asks as he holds me against him.

“About how I don’t want to go into work tomorrow.”

“Oh, my poor baby,” Coop says, his lips brushing against my neck. I tilt my head slightly and let him kiss his way across my pulse point. My body trembles slightly at the feel of him touching me like this. It’s so intimate. “You could just quit, and I could take care of you.”

“Pfft,” I manage to squeak out. “I’ll never get that divorce if I do that.”

His body stiffens behind me and his lips leave my skin. I regret my words immediately. Why am I talking about divorce when he’s been so kind to me?

I sit up and turn around, straddling his legs and settling on his lap. I’m bigger than him, and for a second, I worry that perhaps I’m crushing him, but the way that Coop pulls me closer only encourages the lap-sitting.

“I’m sorry. This is all still so confusing for me,” I say, and Coop’s eyes flutter shut for a second.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

I lean forward and press my face into his neck, letting him just hold me against his chest. I like this—really fucking like it and wouldn’t mind if this became some kind of nightly ritual for the two of us.

My dick is hard and pressed against his. I’ve just accepted that this is what happens to me now when it comes to Coop. It just seems that I like him against me. Like when he touches me, holds me. Does all the sweet things he does for me on a daily basis.

Would staying married to him for a while really be so bad?

“What do you need?” Coop asks gently, his hands sliding into the water and grabbing on to my bare ass.

My breath stutters against his skin, and I arch forward. I want a repeat of what we did earlier. I really fucking want it.

But before we can even get started, Coop’s phone rings, and a second later the doorbell dings, as if someone is desperate to get inside.

We freeze and Coop’s head falls back, his hands slipping off of me.

“Who is it?” I ask, and he sighs.

“No idea, but I should go check. If it’s my parents, I will murder them for interrupting.”

I slide off him, and he steps out of the bathtub, pulling a robe on and walking out into the other room, his footsteps leaving wet marks on the tile.

I sit there in the warm, bubbly water, waiting for him to return, unsure if I should get out of the bath. I really hope it’s no one. I really fucking hope because I want him to come back and hold me again. I want to watch the bubbles in the bath disappear as we just exist.

But those hopes are dashed as soon as I hear my brother’s voice.

Max is here.

I quickly get out of the tub, pulling the drain open and drying off as fast as I can. With damp skin, I make my way into the other room, my hair still wet, my shirt halfway on.

As soon as I enter the living room, my fingers fumbling with the hem of my shirt, I spot Max standing there, looking so fucking happy.

Of course he is. He has someone who loves him.

He has his Bow-tie.

“Hey,” I say a little too gruffly, and Max’s eyes fly to mine. He takes me in and his lips twitch up as if he sees something different in me. But then again, I do feel like a different person than I was just a few weeks ago.

“Hey, little bro. Long time no see.”

I blush when his eyes turn to Coop. I’m pretty sure he can deduce what’s happened between us. It doesn’t take a fool to recognize it. We’re both wet, I’m blushing, and Coop looks smug as hell. But then again, he always looks like that, so maybe I can get away with this.

Maybe Max knows nothing.

“Did we interrupt something?” Max asks just as Beau steps inside, his arms full of paper bags.

“Hey, guys,” he says, placing a kiss on Coop’s cheek as he sets the bags on the counter. “Delivery time!”

“What is this?” I ask, peering inside, trying to divert attention away from Coop and me. I don’t think it’s working, but I’ll try like hell. Anything to stop the ribbing I’m sure is coming my way.

Not that I don’t deserve it.

“Oh, Coop texted me about your exciting trip to the dollar store, so we brought more things for you to bring when you drop off all the stuff to Magnus.”

I peer inside and see all sorts of crafty things.

“I had a closet full of unopened art stuff that I never used and figured the kids would love.”

“Yeah, that’s cool.”

Beau grins and nods, his eyes sliding across me and then landing on his best friend.

“Sorry to intrude on your evening, but we thought we’d stop by and see how it’s going. Did we interrupt a beauty routine?”

“More like a possible facial,” Coop mutters, and I feel my cheeks heat once more. Damn him. There was no way that was going to happen. I mean, something was going to happen, just not my dick exploding across his face.

But even so, the idea of it makes my dick twitch in my sweatpants. The thought of Coop’s tongue sticking out as I unload onto it makes me all sorts of hot.

Fuck. Not right now. Not where Beau and Max can see.

“Right,” Beau says with a laugh. “Well, since we’re here, can the facials wait? Can we hang out for a bit?”

I glance over at Max, who has his head cocked slightly, eyeing me curiously. He so knows. He has to.

This thing inside of me is shifting. It has been for weeks now, and I want to tell him about it. To get his reassurance. To get his approval.

I need him to understand. To tell me it’s okay. To tell me that I’ll be fine.

“Of course. Let me put some clothes on and we can sit outside. Wine?” Coop says.

“Hell yes,” Beau says. “The sweet kind. Lots of bubbles.”

Max chuckles and pulls Beau in for a kiss. “None for me. I’m driving.”

“So responsible,” Coop coos. “I have the perfect wine. Got it in Sonoma while I was on vacation. Bought it just for you, babe,” he adds and then disappears to change and grab the wine.

“Come on,” I say as I lead them outside to the balcony. It’s cool out, the setting sun having taken all the warm light with it. Now the sky is dark gray with just a sliver of moon and a few stars shining. The ocean sweeps and crashes in the distance, the tide high, but even still, it’s relaxing, calming even. I love sitting out here, just listening to it. I’m going to miss it when I have to leave.

“So, dude, how are you settling in?” Max asks, and I shrug as I turn the heaters on, the blast of warmth settling around us as we all take a seat. My usual spot feels slightly empty without Coop to cuddle into.

I realize I need to get a grip, that this isn’t normal, but at the same time, I can’t help but feel this way. Maybe this isn’t normal for everyone, but maybe it’s my normal.

“I mean, it could be worse,” I joke, and Beau laughs as Max leans forward, his elbows on his knees, his eyebrows meeting in concentration.

“Yeah, but in all honesty, you seem happier,” Max says, and I feel my cheeks heat. Damn heaters always making me so fucking red.

But the truth is, I am happier. I’m more relaxed too. For the first time in my life, I have someone who takes care of me. Even if it’s all temporary and somewhat of a ploy on Coop’s part. I still don’t know what he’s getting out of this and honestly, part of me never wants to find out.

I want to live in blissful ignorance.

“Guess I am,” I tell him and then lean back, watching as Coop strides out with a few wine glasses and a bottle tucked under his arm. He’s put on some silk pants and a long-sleeve sweater. But under it, I can make out the fabric of my white undershirt sitting against his skin, and my heart flips excitedly.

I’ll never admit it, but the fact that he wears my clothes makes me melt into a puddle of goo.

“So, tell us all about your honeymoon. What did you do?” Coop asks as he takes a seat on my lounger, a little too far away from me.

I take the wine bottle and work on uncorking it, handing it to him when I’m done and watching as he pours a few glasses. If my body shifts slightly toward him, it’s just gravity.

“And please, no sex stories. I really don’t want to imagine Beau doing any of that stuff.”

Beau grins and then leans into Max.

“No sex stories. Promise. Just lots of romantic interludes.”

Coop grins widely as he hands Beau a glass and then one to me. Our fingers brush and I feel myself heat from just this simple touch. Jesus, I need to get a grip.

“So, tell us everything,” Coop says, spreading his legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankles. I wish he’d sit behind me and hold me against him. Not that I ask him to. I just sit there, inches away from him and sip at my wine, trying to be as cool as a cucumber.

I’m not managing it very well. I keep fidgeting and scooting closer and closer until our legs are pressed together. Coop glances down at where our bodies finally meet and his lips twitch slightly.

Beau doesn’t seem to notice, just prattles on about what the two of them have been up to. The things they did, the places they went. I should be a better brother, ask questions and listen with rapt attention, but to be honest, I barely hear a word he’s saying.

“Hey, Matt,” Max says abruptly when Beau pauses to take a breath. “Can you show me where the bathroom is? I have to pee.”

I nod and stand just as Coop lets out a small laugh. “Honestly, can you not remember where it is? You’ve been here before.”

“I can’t remember,” Max says with a stupid grin.

That fucker. I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to get me to tell him something. To open up. Hell, I want to. I want to tell him everything.

As Coop and Beau chatter on without us, we both move inside and as soon as we enter the kitchen, Max stops walking. He turns to face me, and I suddenly feel so fucking nervous.

“How are you, really?” he asks, and I shrug, folding my arms across my chest.

“Good. Coop takes good care of me, surprisingly.”

Max’s eyebrows rise and he lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, that is surprising. But like I said, you really do look happy, more relaxed.”

“Yeah, I am. I’m closer to work, so I’ve had a shorter commute. I get to sleep in.”

“Yeah, in a really nice place too. Like the view is amazing. Not many people get to live like this, even for a short time.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Max leans against the counter and grins at me. “Also, bro, you have a hickey on your neck.”

My hand flies up to the mark that Coop left on me, and I curse under my breath. “That fucker.”

But really, it’s me who forgot about it, who just let it sit there on my skin, a mark of who I belong to.

“So, you and Coop, huh?”

I sigh and let my shoulders slump, shame and embarrassment surging through me. “God, Max. Fuck. I’m such an asshole.” My voice cracks, and I rub at my eyes. “The way I acted with you and Beau. The things I said to Magnus all those years ago.”

“I know,” he says and reaches out, patting me on the shoulder. “I was an asshole too, remember?”

I sniffle and nod. “We all were. Jesus, the fact that Magnus even talks to us…”

Max nods, understanding what I’m trying to say.

“Yeah, he’s a better man than I’ll ever be, but we’re trying. You know? That’s all we can do is try to be better.”

I nod and swallow roughly. “But you are better. You’re married to a dude.”

“And so are you.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t willingly. This is going to end eventually.”

Max cocks his head and watches me intently. “Does it have to? If you’re happy, do you really need to end it?”

I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, but I don’t say it. Just let those words ring in my head.

“And listen, I hope you know it’s okay. What you and Coop are doing. It’s normal. It’s beautiful, really.”

My eyes water some more. Damn dust in the room.

“Yeah, I know,” I reply, peeking up at him. “Magnus told me the same thing, but it’s nice to hear you say it too. To have your reassurance.”

Max runs a hand across his jaw, deep in thought. “Do you want to talk about it? I’ve been there. Done that. I know it’s confusing as fuck…”

I feel my cheeks flush, and I duck my head slightly. “I dunno. It’s just different with him.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Is the…you know, is it just as good?” God, I can’t believe I just asked that. What the hell am I doing?

Max hesitates a moment and then nods. “Yeah, definitely different but I’ve found it better. Especially when you love the person you’re with.”

My eyes flash to his. “I don’t love him, Max. That’s not what this is.”

He smiles softly, like he knows something I don’t. “Of course not.”

“I just…I don’t love him, but I might like him a bit.”

Max’s mouth pulls into a grin. “Yeah, and you like how he looks too, huh?”

I snort and then run a hand through my hair.

“He’s not half bad. I don’t think he has hair anywhere on his body.”

“Smooth skin?”

“Yeah, like I think he waxes and shit,” I say and then blush. “Fuck, this is embarrassing. I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

Max reaches out and pulls me into his side, roughing me up a little.

“Nah, it’s normal. This is totally fine. Me and Beau, Magnus and Sem. We wouldn’t change a thing.”

It’s so normal how he’s talking about this, like it’s no big deal. And really, it isn’t. Not when you think about it logically. Who you find attractive, who you want doesn’t really matter. It’s all about how someone makes you feel. And if you want someone with the same parts as you, then so be it.

It’s as simple as that, it seems.

How did I go through my entire life not understanding this?

Fuck my parents for teaching us such closed-minded shit.

Max lets go of me and ruffles my hair affectionately.

“Don’t stress about it, dude, just enjoy it. I see the way he looks at you. He likes you more than he probably cares to admit.”

I blush at that. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Max says and then pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “Just let him do what he wants to do. If you enjoy it, that is.”

“I do,” I whisper. “I’m just so confused, but the way he touches me…” My words trail off as Max lets out a small laugh.

“God, this is karma, isn’t it? The two of us behaving like fuckers to Magnus and now look at us. We were made to eat our own words.”

Guilt rises up inside of me. “And I behaved like an asshole to you and Beau.”

“I know, but you apologized, you tried to make it right.”

“I did, but it’s not enough. It will never be enough,” I choke out.

Max’s eyes soften and he shakes his head. “No, Matt. It will. It is.”

We just stare at one another, our eyes a little glazed when Max suddenly says, “God, what will Mitch think when he finds out?”

“Fuck, I don’t know,” I say with a dark laugh. “He was already pissed when he found out I’d moved and didn’t tell him, and then when I canceled soccer on him…”

“Shit,” Max says and then sighs. “He’s been calling me too, but I’ve been deflecting. I just hope he doesn’t show up at my place. I don’t want him disturbing our peace. But he was always closer with you, so maybe he won’t.”

“Yeah, just send him my way. I can handle him. I don’t want him coming after you or Beau. You both deserve to be happy.”

Max nods and pulls me in for a hug.

“Yeah, okay, I hope he just stays away. For now at least. I just want the peace that life with Beau has given me.”

I get that. I so do. I want that, I want the happiness that Coop has shown me. I want to keep it. Want to tuck it away and pull it out to stare at it, like those seashells on my dresser.

When we make our way back outside, I see Beau and Coop chatting animatedly. As we approach, their words trail off and they both glance over at us.

“Had some nice bonding time while taking a piss?” Coop asks me with an arched eyebrow.

Max grins and moves toward Beau, sliding in next to him and nuzzling his face into Beau’s neck. I want to do the same to Coop, but refrain. Instead, I just sit next to him, our legs pressed together, my heart thrumming calmly the longer I touch him.

And he can’t keep his hands off me for long either. His fingers eventually walk their way onto my leg, and then I lean further into him, almost as if he’s given me permission to do so. He squeezes and massages my thigh, and I find my eyelids drooping as they talk. It’s getting late, and I just want to go to bed and nuzzle up into him. Let him hold me. This has been such a long day, a great day, and falling asleep in his arms would make it perfect.

“Hm, seems Matt is tired,” Beau says gently and my eyelids pop open. I have no idea what they were talking about.

“Yeah, we’ve had a long day,” Coop says.

“Well, we should go then,” Max says, standing and holding his hand out for Beau. They lock fingers and move toward the door leading into the house. Coop and I follow, his hand sliding onto my lower back. Like always.

Like it was meant to be there.

We follow them inside and say goodbye. And as soon as the door closes behind them, Coop links his hand with mine, pulling me to the bedroom.

“Time for bed. You have an early morning tomorrow,” he says as he pulls off my shirt and tugs my pants down. And I let him undress me. My skin shivering when his fingers brush purposefully across my skin as he does.

His hands pause on the waistband of my boxers and he bites his bottom lip, a question in his gaze.

“Yeah, okay,” I say, and he grins, slowly tugging them down and tossing them aside. His face is so close to my dick, and it twitches in his direction before he stands and strips out of his clothes. Then he crawls under the covers and beckons me toward him. Without question, I follow, lying down so we’re facing each other and tucking my naked body against his.

It’s so smooth, so warm, and he smells so damn good.

It should be weird. I should be freaking out, but instead, I just close my eyes and let myself sink into him. I’ll worry about it later.

Maybe.

Or maybe I won’t since there’s really nothing to freak out about.

His fingers brush against the wedding ring hanging around my neck. A moment later, the chain is unclasped and he pulls the ring from it, sliding it onto my finger.

“Better,” he says. “That’s where it belongs.”

I sigh, curling my hand into a fist and tucking it against his warm skin.

“Go to bed, sleepy head,” Coop coos as his hand rubs soothing circles over my back.

I just burrow in further, and when my eyelids close completely, it’s lights out.

I wake up with a deep, desperate hunger roiling inside of me. It’s still dark out, the moon nothing but a sliver in the sky. I have no idea what time it is, but I don’t care. My cock is hard and throbbing, pressed against a warm, willing body.

He’s willing. He has to be.

Please, please want me like I want you.

I arch my hips into him and gasp, unable to keep it in. Not when I need it this much. Oh fuck, I need it. It feels too good. He feels too good. So much so that it physically hurts.

Coop starts to wake against me, his hands running down my back and squeezing my ass, massaging it beneath his palms. Always touching me, always seeking to soothe. I need it, I need his touch to help me with this.

I need to get off.

Now.

My face tucks into his neck as I scoot the rest of the way on top of him, my body pressed entirely against him. Fuck, I’m glad he stripped me naked before bed. He feels so good against me, so right.

This. This right here is what I want.

“Matthew,” he whispers as I arch into him again, a slow roll of my hips. I can’t speak, can’t express how this feels, so I hold it in and just show him.

I show him what I need.

He gasps slightly, his fingers digging into my skin.

“Are you awake?” he asks, and I nod, canting my hips against him again.

I feel his body tremble beneath mine, a vibration that moves through my skin and settles beneath my ribs. My heart stutters and flips eagerly.

He wants this.

“You want me?” I whisper into his shoulder.

“Oh, Matthew. Yes. Of course I do,” he says gently as he spreads his legs a little wider and lifts his hips slightly, letting me grind against him easier. And I do. I take my time, moving slowly, relishing the feel of him against me, hard cock and all. My nose runs across his skin as I move, and I inhale deeply.

Honeysuckle.

Wildflowers.

Home.

My breath comes out in sharp pants as I continue to rock, needing more. Much more. It’s not enough. Not nearly enough.

“Baby,” Coop says gently. “Want me to help you?”

I groan, trying like hell to keep my composure, but fuck, it’s hard. Not when he feels so good.

“Roll over,” he prods and gently pushes against my chest, following me over until he’s straddling me.

I stare up at him, my chest moving up and down in long, deep breaths. He looks so fucking perfect in the shadows. His hair askew and his dick straining upward as his eyes meet mine.

“I’m going to suck your dick. Can I do that, baby?”

I manage a small nod, nearly vibrating from need as his mouth twitches up.

“Oh, fuck yes,” he moans and then he scoots down, his mouth now so impossibly close to my dick. And when his tongue snakes out and licks a stripe up the underside of me, my back bows off the bed.

“Oh fuck!” I shout, needing this more than I thought I did.

Coop hums in agreement as his tongue swirls along my tip, licking across my slit and then engulfing half of me in his warm, slick mouth.

“Fuuuuck,” I groan again, having obviously lost all of my vocabulary. I’m just muddled cuss words now. But anyone would be reduced to this. Coop’s mouth is a thing of miracles. It’s perfection.

His lips slide down my cock until he’s engulfed the entirety of me, his nose pressed into my groin as he swallows, deep-throating me.

I grip the sheets beside me. My hands turn into fists, wanting so badly to reach out for him, to hold him down on me, to force him to hold me in his throat, but I refuse to do it.

This is already too much.

It’s too much.

I feel the wet slide of his mouth pop off me and he kisses the head of my cock. It twitches under the admiration, and I glance down at him.

“You can touch me,” he says softly, our eyes clashing. “Show me how you like it.”

I let out a low groan, trying to keep myself together. But it’s so easy to fall apart with him, to show myself.

“You can be rough, Matthew. I like it. And be loud. You don’t need to keep it in. I want to hear you.”

Oh, fuck me, I think as my hands release the sheets and move to his head, twisting in his hair and leading him back onto my cock.

He hums happily as I guide his tempo, his mouth making obscene, filthy sounds as he sucks me down. My lips are curled between my teeth, trying to not let those eager, needy whimpers escape my mouth, but he makes it so damn hard. The way he moves his tongue, the way he swallows each time I enter his throat. It’s nearly impossible not to break.

And I do. The first loud groan makes Coop whimper against my dick, and when I keep going, he nearly trembles in my hands.

I shove him onto me faster, quicker, needing to feel the release he’s offering me. And he doesn’t fight it, just takes each thrust and groans in tandem, as if this is the best thing he’s ever done, ever tasted. My balls draw up, my cock twitching in his mouth, and I manage to get out one word—a warning of what’s happening.

“Coming,” I grunt, letting go of him, but he slaps my hand back on his head and swallows me completely. His throat constricts around my dick roughly, his nose pressed into my groin, and then he starts to suck me, my come flooding his throat and mouth.

I shudder and shake through the orgasm before my hands fall to the bed and I let out a long groan. Content. Relieved. That’s what I feel right now.

This is how he makes me feel.

Coop sits up, his dick straining out from his body, his hands shaking as he grabs on to it. Then his mouth opens, my cum spilling from between his lips and onto his hard length. And with my release, he jacks himself, once, twice, three times before spilling his cum across my softening cock.

My dick gives a jerk at the feeling of a part of him hitting me, but I don’t mind it as much as I probably should. It’s only fair that he gets to come too. And despite knowing what this has reduced me to, a whimpering simping mess, I like it.

His chin hits his chest, his cheeks puffing out as he struggles to breathe.

“Fuck, Matthew,” he murmurs. “Why are you so hot?” I let out a small grunt, and his eyes meet mine. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Don’t die,” I reply, and his eyes soften.

He smiles as he reaches over and grabs some tissues, wiping us up before settling back down next to me.

He spreads his legs and arms in an invitation. “Come here, Matthew. Let me hold you.”

I should say no, should resist. This was already so gay, but then again, like Max said, what does it even matter? Coop makes me feel good, makes me feel wanted. And I need that in my life.

It seems, I just need him.