Chapter 20
“Oh my god, Matthew,” Coop says after school. I meant to meet him for lunch, but got waylaid by another teacher and didn’t end up making it to him in time. So here I am, picking him up outside the library just after the school bell rang.
Coop runs a hand through his hair and beams at me.
“How was it?” I ask, and he bounces on his toes, threading his arm through mine. He looks a bit disheveled, but happy.
“It was amazing. Betsy was so fun, and the kids were…well, they’re something.”
He leans up and says softly. “I found two couples making out in the back of the library, and then get this, one kid was farting and wafting the smell toward a kid who was studying. I think it was a mating call.”
A bark of laughter escapes me. “Yeah, these kids are wild. Never expect things to be normal.”
“I can see what you mean, but it was thrilling, Matthew. And it makes it even better that you’re here. I will look forward to Mondays and Wednesdays with glee.”
“Well, at least someone will.”
He nods, bobbing his head. “Oh, and get this, Betsy said that she’s looking at starting up some conversation circles for students, and wants to know if in the future I’d be interested in heading up an LGBTQ+ one.”
I eye him. Of course Cooper has already embedded himself in this school, in the hearts of staff and students alike. He’s already making a difference.
Kind of like he did with me.
Unknowingly.
I don’t think he meant to do it at all, and here I am, a completely different person from when it all started.
“I love that.”
“I do too. It’s so cool. I’m excited to start.” He nibbles on his bottom lip and then peers shyly up at me as we slip into his car.
“I might have also told Betsy that you’re my husband. I didn’t quite mean to out you like that, she just saw the ring?—”
I interrupt him with a firm kiss to his lips. “It’s fine. I’m not going to announce it, because it’s no one’s business, but if they find out, so be it.”
Coop beams at me, his white teeth flashing. “Good. I’m so relieved. I’ve been worrying over it all day.”
“No need. You’re my husband.”
He wiggles in his seat. “I am. We are married.”
“We are.”
As I drive us back home, Coop’s hand sits in mine and he asks, “Do you ever wonder what happened that night?”
“The night we were married? Yeah. Still can’t remember it.”
“Me neither. I wonder whose idea it was to get married.”
“Probably yours,” I say, and Cooper huffs in indignation.
“I don’t think so, Matthew. I can’t see that. Not at all. I think it was all you.”
I can’t help but laugh because that’s absurd. Why the hell would I suggest marriage to him? I was straight back then. Or so I thought.
I bring his knuckles up to my lips, kissing them tenderly.
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just go upstairs and relax.”
“Oh yes, relaxing with you is my favorite thing to do. You want to go look for seashells later too?”
My chest constricts, and I let out a shaky exhale. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
After dropping our stuff off at the loft, we spend time leisurely walking the beach, searching for shells as the waves crash around our toes. My pockets are now filled with small treasures that will eventually sit in containers on the dresser in our room. I can see them any time I want.
As we make our way back inside to sort through them, we find his parents outside our door. Our footsteps hesitate, and I see his mom reach out toward us, an Italian word leaving her lips.
“English, guys,” Cooper grunts and then glowers at them. “What are you here for? He signed the damn paperwork.”
“Oh love, we came to apologize. Or your father did.” She nudges him, and his father sighs.
“I was rude, impossibly so. I apologize.”
Cooper huffs and then opens the door to our place, letting them inside. I can feel the tension thick between us all, and I hate it. Hate that he loves his parents and the only reason they’re fighting is because of me. I need to make it right.
“I’m so glad you’re here. We haven’t planned dinner. Would you like to stay for it?”
His mother pulls me into a grateful hug, and his father gives me an approving nod. “We’d love that.”
And so it begins and ends. A peaceful night chatting with them, eating food that we had delivered. We talk about our plans to travel, our dreams, and when they finally leave, I think that we’ve made progress. Coop is happy again, his family unit is restored back to the happy clan they once were.
I did the right thing. Money isn’t important. Family is.
Signing those documents was the absolute best thing for everyone.
I don’t know why I waited so long to fuck Coop, to even think about fucking him. Maybe I was afraid, scared of how much I’d crave him after giving myself to him like that. But as I watch him sort my seashells and rocks, placing them carefully in the containers on the counter, I realize that I want him. That I need him more than I need air. He’s my life, the center of it all.
I’m in love with him. Deeply, irrevocably.
It’s a soul-deep ache that only being connected to him physically will alleviate. I want to place myself inside of him, want to empty myself into his body, marking him as mine in the most primitive of ways. Is this what obsession feels like?
I watch him murmur under his breath. Something in Italian, I’m sure. But it’s so beautiful, the way he moves, the way he speaks.
He’s absolute perfection.
Without any more hesitation, my hand wraps around the back of his neck, pulling him into me as I lower my mouth to his. A surprised gasp leaves his lips, but then it morphs into a needy moan, setting me ablaze. It licks up my arms and settles in my chest, making my heart beat faster.
It beats for him.
“I want you,” I tell him between kisses.
“I want you too,” he replies as I stand and lift him into my arms. Carting him around is becoming my favorite pastime. I know Sem likes to do this with my brother, and I can definitely see the appeal.
It feels a bit like I’m a caveman, dragging my man back to where he belongs.
With me.
His ankles lock behind my back, his mouth on mine as I bring him to our bedroom, lying him down on the bed and undressing him slowly, unwrapping him like a present. He lets me, arching up to make it easier as I peel the fabric away from his flushed and pink skin. He’s like cotton candy.
Wetting my lips, I press them onto his smooth, warm skin, trailing across the hard planes of his body. I make sure to slide my tongue along the ridges of his abdomen, swirling around his puckered nipples before meeting his lips. He tastes like magic, like summer, like my sunshine.
He came into my life when I needed him, when I needed to be seen. He saw me, he embraced me, he shined his light on me and I grew warm from it.
I’ve never felt more alive than when I’m with him.
As I nip at his lower lip, I slowly lose my clothes, kicking my boxers off in the process of once more mapping the whole of him. He’s driven wild by the way I nip and bite across his skin, soothing the pain with light kisses. When I swirl my tongue around the tip of his dick, he trembles visibly, his entire body shaking with need.
“You taste so good,” I whisper, kissing his swollen, dripping head. “You taste like you’re mine.”
“I am yours,” he pants, his pupils blown out, just a sliver of gold in those beautiful eyes.
I fall onto his cock, engulfing him in my mouth and making Cooper cry out, his hands fisted in the sheets surrounding us, but I grab them both and place them in my hair. He always needs to be touching me. Always.
His fingers clench the strands roughly as I gag on him, bringing him down my throat and holding him there, inhaling the scent of him.
He’s chanting my name, a prayer, a petition to the gods to let him come, but I’m not done with him. Not in the slightest. I have so much more I want to do, want to taste.
I drag my mouth down to his balls, bringing each one into my mouth and tugging lightly. He almost levitates off the bed, his back arching up, his nails digging into my scalp.
I want to taste every part of him, all the hidden spaces.
My tongue trails down his taint, my hand pushing one knee up to his chest and exposing his pretty pink hole to me. It flexes under my inspection, and I lean forward, pressing a kiss to it.
Coop cries out, unsure of what I’m doing, but I’m all in. No more waiting, no more hiding. I want it all.
My tongue snakes out and tentatively licks him. It’s not bad, good even. I want more. I want to know what the inside of him tastes like. The tip of my tongue swirls around the rim, teasing it open. Coop is shaking hard now, his entire body flushed red, crimson. He’s in heat.
He needs to be fucked.
My hands scoop his ass up, a feast to be devoured, and I press my tongue all the way inside of him. Coop cries out, pleading with me as he pushes back against my face, wanting me deeper. My tongue strains, not long enough to go where it wants. I grow frustrated, lifting him even further, only his head on the pillow now. I bite and kiss and lick until his hole is open and sloppy, a wet mess to be wrecked even further. Coop’s cock is leaking profusely now, dripping cum trails on his abdomen. I’ll clean that up later, I think as I fuck his hole with my mouth. I’ll lick it up, mix the tastes of him, consume him like he’s consumed me.
“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come!” Coop shouts, but I don’t let up, I just keep eating, my main course, my dessert, and I feel it when his cock can’t take anymore. His hole flexes around me, and I smell his release.
A low, satisfied hum exits my mouth as I continue to lick inside of him, making him jerk and shake as I work him back up. He’s not done yet. I’m not done.
Not in the slightest. I’ve been waiting too long for this.
I need more.
“Matthew. Matthew,” Coop chants as I continue to tongue-fuck his hole, still feasting like it’s my last meal before I pass on to the afterlife.
I could easily die happy right here, buried inside of him.
So I don’t stop. I just continue my ministrations, listening to Coop’s sighs turn to moans once more. His softening cock is growing and when it’s hard once more against his cum-streaked belly, I finally pull away.
Coop’s lost the ability to speak. His mouth is open, gaping, just like his beautiful, pink, wrecked hole.
“You…you…” he says, and I nod, letting my tongue slide across my lips.
I did. I so did, and I want to do it again. Later. Right now, I want more. I want to feel my hard, angry dick push inside of him. I want to feel him engulf me, consume me in ways we haven’t yet explored.
I kiss my way up his body, taking my time to lick his body clean. I feel like an animal, like a true mate, and Coop seems to love it. He encourages it, guiding my face to places I could have missed. I lap and lick at him until my body is finally flush with his.
I lean up, my arms bracketing his face and stare down at his beautiful, tear-streaked face.
“I need to fuck you,” I say. “I want to fuck you so good, Cooper.”
Coop lets out a low moan. “Yes. You can have me. Anytime.”
I feel his dick throb against mine, and I arch into it, making him gasp.
“Do you want me?”
He nods, his eyes sparkling. “I always want you.”
He leans up and captures my lips, our tongues tangling as our hips grind together, the friction on our cocks making us both groan and gasp, a heady, needy, fractured thing. How did I go my whole life without him? How did I survive?
The truth is, I wasn’t. I was just getting by, a husk of a man. Lonely, tired, cracked.
And here I am, being put back together again.
Coops legs wind around my back, exposing himself to me. He’s offering himself up to my dick, a sacrifice only he can make. I’ll take it. I’ll take it all. My cock enters his crack, sliding against it, bumping against his wet hole. I envision the sight. My thick length splitting him wide open, his hole aching and wide as it envelopes the entirety of me.
I need it wet. I need it ready for me.
“Lube,” I manage to say as I continue to shuttle my dick between his crack. He’s so smooth, so right, I don’t want to stop. But I refuse to hurt him, my sweet Cooper. I want this to be just as good for him as it will be for me.
“There,” Coop says, having been reduced to one word answers.
I follow his pointing finger and grab the lube from the drawer, spreading the cool gel on my fingers.
“I’m going to split you wide open,” I say, and Coop’s eyes darken even more.
“Yes. Yes.”
Sliding to his side, I drag my slippery fingers down his taint and when they’re at his entrance, I slip them inside.
Two fingers. He took my tongue. He can take this.
I watch as Cooper’s eyes roll back in his head, my fingers scissoring him open, stretching him for my dick. I feel the warmth of him, the tightness. I’m going to be inside of him soon, something I can never come back from.
Not that I want to.
I want to remember this. I want it etched on my skin, my memory. I want to look back on this day and relive it.
“More. More,” Cooper chants, and I add a third finger, making sure to hit that small bump inside of him. The one he loves. He cries out, my name echoing off the walls of our room.
Love the sounds he makes, love the feel of his tightness surrounding me. He’s a vise on my fingers, a promise to my throbbing cock.
He’s going to strangle it. He’s going to kill it with each thrust until I’m nothing more than his. A spirit haunting his every waking moment.
“Please, fuck me,” Coop says, his voice shattered, his eyes wet. “Please. I need it.”
I lean forward, still thrusting my fingers inside of him and kiss those tears, loving him even more for it.
“I will. I will,” I say gently as I slide my fingers from him.
His legs are spread wide as I sit between them, looking at the entirety of him. What a picture he makes. Flushed skin, wet eyes, hard dick.
His hole open and waiting for me.
“Now. Please. Now,” Cooper begs, and who am I to deny the love of my life?
I slot my dick at his hole, suddenly nervous, worried that this won’t live up to both of our expectations, but as soon as I press inside, the rings of muscle a vise around my dick, I realize I was wrong.
This is everything.
Coop’s body accepts mine, just as he’s done to my heart. He never questioned any of it. Just let me be me. He’s taken me just as I am and loves me.
He has to love me. I know he does.
I continue pushing until I’m all the way inside. His hole flexes against the base of me and I gasp at the feeling. I’m connected to him. He’s mine.
Cooper’s wet eyes meet mine and we lock gazes. His fingers move up my back and tangle in my hair, sending shockwaves of sensation through my entire body. This is more than a fuck. This is us making love.
“Finally,” Coop says, sniffling, his fingers dragging down to my face. He cups my cheeks, his eyes softening. “Finally. Finally. I have you.”
I stare down at him, at those beautiful eyes, at that perfect mouth, and utter words that have been kept inside of me for far too long. Words that have been edging their way out of me for weeks. A lifetime of waiting for him.
“I love you, Cooper. I fucking love you so much.”
A tear slips from his eye, and he pulls me against him, my face burrowed in his neck. I breathe him in, the scent that only he wears. His hole strains around my throbbing cock, and I groan.
I want to take him apart. Piece by piece. I want to ruin him for any other.
“Oh god. Fuck me, Matthew. Fuck me like you love me.”
I can do that. I’ll do anything he asks. Arching my hips back, I push into him, slow and sensual, until he’s begging for more. It’s only then that the pace picks up and minutes later, I’m slamming into him, rutting like an animal. Feral, dripping sweat. Needy whines leave us both, and when Coop’s ass pulses against my cock as he comes, I let out a low muffled groan and unload myself into him, my heart, my soul.
My everything.
I’m his now.
The euphoria of what we just did lasts forever, a long joining that leaves me drained and panting for air. I collapse on top him, mouthing at his neck, needing reassurance that it was as good for him as it was for me. He must feel it, my need for affirmation.
“Perfection,” Coop whispers. “Perfect.”
Yes, yes.
I don’t know who thinks I’m going to go to work the next day, but they’re wrong. I call out sick. They’d understand if they felt the way Coop feels tight around me. I can’t get enough of his body, of sliding my cock in and out of him.
It doesn’t help that he encourages it. He lets me fuck him anywhere and anytime I want. Free use, he called it. Never heard of it, but I do plan on making use of his body. He’s addicting, just like I knew he would be.
“Oh god,” Coop cries out, his body arching up against mine in the shower. My fingers dig into his hips as I rut into him from behind. This started innocently enough. I just planned to wash him, but then my fingers slipped inside of him and when he said my name like he does, a whisper, a plea, I pushed into his tight hole.
He’s still wet and loose from me fucking him earlier so I did so easily, no hesitation, no resistance.
It’s like his body is made for mine.
“You like it, don’t you?” I ask as I reach down and cup his dick in my hand, stroking it as I angle his head and kiss him, a sloppy melding of tongues and spit. I open my eyes as I fuck into his mouth, watching as his eyelids flutter, his face flushed that pretty pink I love so much.
My dick is settled inside of him, unmoving. I’m just relishing in the feel of being surrounded by him. Warm water pelts our bodies as we make out, a slow frantic tangling of lips and tongues.
One of his hands reaches behind and cups my ass, shifting me even closer. He stands on his tiptoes and arches back, pushing me an inch deeper into him. Seems he wants all of me, as far in as I can go. Why is that so hot?
Why is his need for me so fucking hot?
“I love being inside you. You love it too. Say it, say you love it,” I demand as I cant my hips forward and impale him in short bursts. Coop keens against me, his fingertips bruising my ass cheeks as he grips me.
“Love it. Love it.”
I grunt my approval as I arch my hips back, pulling out of him before slamming back in. Coop’s cries echo off the tile walls. He likes being fucked all the ways. Rough, feral. Hard, soft, passionate.
He’s been teasing me with that ass all day, flaunting it for hours, wearing that lingerie of his, looking sexy as fuck. I never thought that I’d like a man in lingerie, but I do. I like everything about him, it seems.
I tried to resist the temptation he was flaunting around me. He needs a break because hours earlier he sauntered out onto the balcony, pulled my cock out and sat on it. Right on the lounger for all the birds to see. He rode me like the sensual god he is, all while wearing that lace bralette and jock strap, driving me crazy over just the sight of him.
The filthy things that came out of his mouth.
I can’t get those out of my head. It makes me hard just thinking of it.
I was determined to give him a break, but by evening, after hours of his teasing, I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped, dragging him into the shower and entering him slowly. I’m not going to rush this, I’m going to make this last. Going to make him crazy with lust, just like he’s done to me all goddamn day.
“Matthew,” he groans, his hands on the tile before us, slipping down the wet wall as I rock into him.
“You little tease. Teasing me all day,” I say as I fuck into him, a snap of my hips making him arch back into me and cry out.
“That ass.”
Snap.
“That cock.”
I grip it in my fist and squeeze, giving it a good long stroke. Cooper groans loudly, his hands grappling with the wall now, trying to find purchase.
“You’re mine,” I tell him as I continue to push into him. “Mine.”
“Yes, yes,” he cries out and then turns his head and kisses me deeply. I bite down on his bottom lip and suck it between my teeth, making his head fall back against my shoulder as I impale him over and over.
He feels so right in my arms, so fucking perfect. I love it. Love him.
I want to tell him how I feel once more, demand he say it back, but I don’t. I can’t, so I just swallow them down and show him how much he means to me instead. Tell him with my body how much I need him.
As I rut into him, his cries grow louder and more wanton. He’s close, so close. I want to feel him clench around me. My hand works his cock faster, and seconds later, he shoots his release against the wall. The sight, the scent, the feel of him sends me over the edge, a wave crashing onto the shore, the tide pulling me under.
I’m lost. I’m lost in him.
With shaking legs, I pull out of him, watching as he leans his body against the shower wall. I can see my release dripping out of him before it’s washed away by the water. Wrapping my arms around him, I bring him to the small bench in the shower, pulling his limp body onto my lap.
“Are you okay?” I ask, sliding my hand over that ass I’m so obsessed with and right to his open hole.
So used, so loose.
He nods, his forehead rubbing against my neck. He lifts his chin and his mouth meets mine. “I am. I can take it. Anything you want to give me, I can take.”
“Hm, seems you were made for me.”
“I am, Matthew. You and I. We’re two halves of a whole.”
I feel my heart stutter at those words. I’d love to hear him say more, a definitive statement.
I love you.
I love you back.
But he doesn’t.
He just closes his eyes and sighs against me, letting the warm water soothe his body.
Hours later he’s asleep in bed, my body curled into his. I breathe him in, feel the sweet, soft snores he exhales as he holds me.
He doesn’t need to say it back.
He shows me how he feels.
I know how he feels.