Summer on Highland Beach

Chapter Fourteen Love Hurts

May 2022

Olivia woke up with the jitters.

Today she, CJ, and Cindy would face the town as a united front to kick off the Memorial Day weekend. The beach fest was organized with a local service-based organization for Black women called The Links, which included important figures like Kamala Harris. The chapter’s goal was to raise funds to update the Pavilion, at the center of the neighborhood. Olivia knew a charity function with the town’s who’s-who roster would be the best way for the curious and the callous to get to know her.

The three of them sat around the kitchen table drinking their morning coffee. “The good news is, everyone is friendly, and no one is mad at either of you,” CJ said.

Olivia knew his reputation had taken a beating. It was all over the newspaper, despite their ally in Aneesa. And social media—mostly the town’s Facebook group, along with posts on Twitter—had blown up over the news.

“Are you nervous?” Cindy asked Olivia.

“I’m fine. How are you feeling?”

“I’m just worried about you.” She spoke to Olivia as if she were the only one in the room. Cindy and CJ had come to some sort of weird arrangement when they were around each other. They would simply nod at each other and speak directly to Olivia—never to each other. It was truly nonsensical, but as she and Garrett were currently not speaking, she couldn’t judge.

“I’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine,” Olivia finally answered Cindy. She pointed a finger at her parents. “Though I will say that you two had better figure out something before tonight’s events.”

They looked at each other with various shades of guilt etched on their faces. Cindy forked her veggie omelet and chewed. CJ sipped his coffee, staring at her mother over the rim of his mug.

CJ cleared his throat. “We’ll enter the front door. You’ll be in the middle. Cindy and I will be on either side of you. Once dinner begins, Cindy, you can sit beside Alan and Olivia. Olivia, you will sit next to me, and Christine will sit on my left.”

“Fantastic,” Cindy responded, her voice Spanx-tight.

“Good,” CJ said. “I wouldn’t want to force you to sit beside someone you don’t like.”

Cindy’s eyes flared with heat. “I never said I disliked you. I just don’t trust you.”

“Then why are you here?” he all but demanded.

“For Olivia, and thank God I came. It’s been a month since we arrived, and someone has already splashed her face on the news. And now you’re using her as a political scapegoat to salvage your campaign.”

“I don’t give a damn about this campaign. I only care about you and Olivia. Maybe one day you’ll understand that you’re the only woman that I’ve ever loved.”

Olivia’s attention darted between her mother and father. She wanted to leave, but something rooted her in place. Cindy attempted to stand, but Olivia reached for her hand, pulling her back down into her seat. After she settled, Olivia grasped her father’s hand.

“I need you both to step away from the past and stay here with me. You’re so busy looking behind you that you can’t see each other.”

Cindy’s eyes, now wet, stared at Olivia. CJ sat silently, staring at the muted television.

“You can’t see each other’s pain. And look, both of you could have been more forthcoming about your feelings.”

“More forthcoming?” Cindy scoffed. “I told CJ you were his. I told him I loved him. For hours, I waited in the rain and he—”

“Came for you,” Olivia cut in. “But you chose Chris and made me believe he was my biological father. Now, I won’t judge you for it. I get it, and I would’ve made the same decision if I’d been in your situation.”

Cindy squeezed her hand. Gratitude shone in her eyes, wet with tears.

Olivia gentled her voice. “But, Mom, you had other choices you made that weren’t the best. Like... you could’ve called CJ when Chris died.”

Despite Christine’s faults and CJ’s lack of action, Olivia believed they deserved to have closure. Not knowing about Chris was especially cruel since Indigo had also died tragically.

Cindy finally spoke, her voice craggy with pain. “Chris was so mad at his family, and he never wanted to speak to them. I even... pressed him to reach out to CJ, but he refused. He told me to never bring up his name again. So I thought...” Cindy licked her lips. “I thought it would dishonor Chris to have them at the funeral.”

Olivia squeezed her mother’s clammy hand. “Even if there was a lot of bad blood between them, CJ should’ve had the opportunity to say goodbye to his brother.”

“I know... I... I’m sorry, CJ. Back then, I was so hurt and humiliated by you. And I... I just couldn’t face you. At the time, I wasn’t in the best mental head space, and I couldn’t handle the thought of seeing you. I couldn’t tempt myself to be in your space.” She shook her head. “My heart was shattered, and I didn’t want to love you or anyone else again because of what you did. B-because love hurts too much.” Cindy lifted her eyes to meet his. “It seems like I never can make the right decision when it comes to you.”

Cindy’s shoulders shook. She pulled her hand away from Olivia’s, covered her face, and sobbed into her hands.

CJ stood, moved past Olivia, and pulled Cindy into his arms. “I didn’t make it easy for you. But I swear, this time you and Olivia will always come first.”

He whispered something else that only her mother could hear.

Olivia’s vision blurred. The tragic couple melded together like waves in an abstract painting.

Olivia stood, wiping tears with the back of her hands, and walked out the back door.

She hoped this would be one of many conversations for her parents. They needed to heal, and then maybe they could forge a new relationship—a stronger one, and one with more acceptance.

But first, they needed to forgive themselves and each other. Olivia knew all about self-loathing and was now consumed by her less than stellar communication with Garrett. Olivia could finally admit to herself that some of the cruel things he’d said held a few nuggets of truth. Such as her fear of committing to and loving someone again.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled to Garrett’s name. Her thumb hovered over the green button.

“Should I call him?” Olivia mused out loud. She stared at his name, but then swiped it away. She needed reinforcements.

Addy.

When Olivia dialed her neighbor in Sag Harbor, she picked up after the third ring.

“Hey. What’s cooking?”

“I need to speak to you about something sensitive. Something that must happen off the record.”

“Of course,” Addy readily agreed. “Whatever it is, your secret is safe with me.”

Olivia sighed. “Garrett’s not taking my calls right now.”

“Hmmm.” The phone went silent for long seconds. “So what did you do?”

“What did I do?” She shrieked her question.

“Garrett is a cinnamon roll.”

That cinnamon roll had told her that she wasn’t a good role model to his child.

“He’s not without faults himself,” she said.

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“We had an argument, and he said some really harsh things.”

“Like what?”

“I won’t get into all the details, but he says I don’t know what I want.”

“You can’t decide, can you? That’s your problem.”

“What’s my problem?”

“You’re so determined to make the right decision that you make no decisions.”

“I made more than enough decisions last summer,” Olivia responded, her agitation apparent in her voice.

“Yes, you did... last summer. I hate to break it to you, but as long as you’re living, you will continue to make decisions. You don’t get to hit the Pause button.”

“I need to slow down and recalibrate.”

“Okay, well, then you should understand why Garrett needs to slow down, too. Especially if he feels more for you than you do for him.”

“I never said I don’t have feelings for Garrett.” Olivia had feelings. Deep, deep feelings. Garrett was her first thought in the morning. She worried about him constantly. Sometimes he worked so hard he would forget to eat, and she would often stop by with a packed lunch. And then he would burn out between the exuberant Zora and work. Often she shooed him out of the house and played with Zora. Or she would take Zora once a month for a girl’s day in town.

Of course, she cared.

She more than cared. She...

“I love him.” Olivia covered her mouth, looked around as if the government were recording her calls.

“Oh... Oh!” Addy chirped. “Does he know?”

“We haven’t said the words just yet. I would also appreciate your discretion here.”

Addy snorted. “Sure. I won’t tell him.”

Olivia shook her head. She knew that Addy would tell Whitney and Kara. In fact, it would probably give her friend pleasure to be the first to break the news.

“Just tell Whitney and Kara not to tell anyone.”

“What about Mr. Whittingham?”

“Please don’t tell him. Not yet.” He was too close to Garrett, and she was sure he’d give obvious hints to his favorite neighbor, whom he viewed as an unofficial son.

“Bea?”

“Good God. Just keep it to Whitney and Kara.”

She trusted Bea to be discreet, but if she somehow slipped the news to Billie, who would then tell Perry and Ama, then they would give her grief. She loved her friends and family, but everyone insisted on being the first to know things.

“Okay, fine, fine. Whitney and Kara will do. I’ll tell them to keep it hush.”

“How good of you.”

“I’ll do you one better. Tonight, I’ll have a little chat with Garrett. I’ll see where his head is at. Then me, Kara, and Whitney will call you and talk strategy.”

“Do I really need to strategize about this?”

“I’m sorry. Did you not call me for help?”

“I did.” Though Olivia was regretting it.

“Then don’t question my methods, Ms. Jones. I’ll call you back soon. Gotta go.”

Addy hung up the phone before Olivia could say goodbye. She stared at the phone. Laughter bubbled inside of her chest. Olivia bent over, giggling at the ridiculous conversation with her former nemesis turned friend. On the surface, Addy was brash and often spoke before thinking. She’d been the neighbor who discovered Anderson’s side job as an Uber driver and had spread the news far and wide. But after getting to know her, Olivia realized Addy deeply cared about her friends and community. When Olivia had broken her engagement with Anderson, Addy had been the first neighbor to come by with a care package, including wine and snacks.

She did, however, open the link to Dr. LaGrange’s site and schedule an appointment for the following week.

Olivia wasn’t ready to return to heavy. Sitting by the pool calmed her, so she sat on the edge and lowered her bare legs into the water. Smiling, she basked in the sunshine for a few minutes before returning to the house, where she found CJ by himself in the kitchen, pouring another cup of coffee.

But before she could ask for her mother’s whereabouts, CJ said, “She’s taking a shower, then we’ll talk again about tonight.”

He grabbed another mug and filled it with coffee, then added a third of a cup of almond milk and two tablespoons of brown sugar. He carefully handed the mug to Olivia.

“How did you know how I like my coffee?”

“You’re not the only observant one in the family.” He winked then sat beside her at the kitchen table. “You know, it isn’t always the case that parents are smarter than their children, but they’re supposed to be wiser. Thank you for your help.”

Olivia dipped her head, weighed down by his surprise praise.

“It’s no problem. I just want you both to be happy.”

“Both?”

Olivia nodded. “Yes, of course I want that for you.”

CJ nodded. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted us together. In fact, I think you warned me to stay away.”

“Back then, I wasn’t sure you were serious about my mother.”

Cindy had practically fainted when CJ popped by Olivia’s house in Sag Harbor unannounced.

“What made you drive to my house last summer?” she asked.

Now that she knew her father a bit more, she knew he rarely acted on impulse. And if word had gotten around that he popped by some strange woman’s home in Sag Harbor, that would’ve spurred rumors.

“Mr. Whittingham convinced me, though he probably didn’t realize his influence.”

“Really? How so?” Olivia blew on her coffee and waited for his response.

“He bragged so much about you. How brilliant you are, your career accomplishments. He said you looked just like me, which made me feel even guiltier because I... I said some unkind things to Cindy when she was pregnant with you.”

Olivia sipped her coffee quickly, nearly burning her mouth. She sucked in air to soothe her scalded tongue.

“But then he told me about how nervous you were about Cindy arriving. And he insinuated that you two didn’t get on very well. So, I...” CJ shook his head. “This entire time, I thought staying out of your lives was for the best. But then I realized maybe you aren’t happy, and maybe Cindy isn’t happy. And maybe I should try to make you happy. Actually, that’s not totally true. I wanted to be happy, too.”

“You weren’t happy?”

“No.” CJ laughed without humor. “In fact, I was at an all-time low. The town’s opinions were divided about my relationship with Riley. Then I lied again when I pretended to date Lauren.” He shook his head. “I did this all to myself, I know. Mr. Whitt asked me when was the last time I was happy. There were a few moments that I could recall. When I became mayor and when your mom and I were together are the strongest memories.”

“You came after us to make yourself happy?”

“Absolutely. In my youth, my decisions were driven by the path of least resistance. Sure, I wanted to go to Morehouse, but I went because my father was alumni and that was the expectation. I did it because he had an impressive network, and of course, I formed my own over the years. Then I attended Yale Law because Mom, Dad, and even Alan influenced me. I enjoy practicing law, and I’m good at it. But it wasn’t my first choice. The first time I chose something for me was when I asked your mother out on a date. And then next time after that was years later when I ran for mayor.”

He sipped coffee after his confession. “Sure, Christine encouraged me to do so. She may think she put the idea in my head. But seeing my dad, the impact he made on our community... I wanted to give back to the place I love. To the people who had a hand in raising me. But more, I wanted to maintain the specialness of this place. This is a place where you can plant your roots. I wanted little boys and girls to grow up with a deep sense of pride in our history. I don’t think I would want to be mayor anywhere else but Highland Beach.”

“Wow.”

“Yes,” CJ said. “With all that’s happening, I lost sight of my passion. When you’re the mayor, people want everything from you, and for once I only wanted to be available 24/7 for you and Cindy. But now, with the threat of losing my office, I want to fight for it.”

“Then we’ll help you fight,” Olivia readily agreed. She was good at being charming, and tonight she would act like a loving daughter.

But she wouldn’t be faking it. In the past month, CJ had become important to her.

Her father.Someone she’d longed for ever since she could remember dads dropping off their kids at school.

Omar, can you see this?

She wondered how her godfather would react to... everything that had transpired in the last weeks. Would he have encouraged her to stay in Sag Harbor with Garrett? Or would he have told her to get to know her father?

She guessed he’d have given the latter advice.

“How about we watch a movie while Cindy relaxes?” her father suggested.

“Sure, what do you have in mind?”

“Your choice.”

Olivia nearly groaned. Skipping through hundreds of titles reminded her of Garrett.

“What’s wrong? You look unhappy.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that... it may be best for you to choose. I’m terrible at picking movies. It drives my... my friend finds my indecision baffling.”

“Who, Garrett?”

Olivia nodded. She hadn’t spoken much about him.

“Mr. Whitt says he’s a stand-up guy.”

“He’s just wonderful. Which is why I can’t fully accept your praise for being wise when I’m screwing up my relationship.”

“You still haven’t spoken to him?”

“Not yet.”

“He’s more than welcome to visit. I have a spare bedroom.”

“Let’s get through tonight’s festivities and make sure that our neighbors don’t run me out of town with pitchforks.”

“I’m telling you, the good folks of Highland Beach will love you.”

“Maybe.” Olivia’s tone conveyed her unease.

“We’ll see soon enough. And if we’re not going to watch a movie, I need to prepare for tonight’s events.” He stood. “I’ll see you later?”

“I’ll be there.” Olivia waved as he left.

For the next few hours, she sat outside and basked in the sun, but thoughts of Garrett kept demanding her attention.

She finally gave in to temptation and texted him once more.

Garrett, I really think we should talk. Can you call me?

After she clicked Send, she stared at her phone, fingers gripped around the case, hoping, praying he would call or at least text.

Dots danced across the screen for nearly a minute. She held her breath, waiting for the message to come through and then... nothing.

Just after she’d swallowed down the salty tears threatening to climb up her throat, the phone dinged.

I’m sorry, Olivia. I need more time.