Summer on Highland Beach

Chapter Sixteen Sweet Lies

April 1991

“What are you doing out here, Charles?”

CJ found his father seated on the small porch facing the shoreline in the backyard with a cigar in hand. CJ didn’t bother sitting down. Instead, he stood opposite his father, directly in his line of sight.

The orange-red light blazed from his father’s cigar. It was midnight and CJ should’ve been on his way to Morehouse, with at least two hundred miles between them by now.

But he couldn’t leave.

Not after what he saw. He quickly made plans to skip classes the next day. His line brother would help him smooth things over with his professors. Ever since the afternoon, he hadn’t been able to calm his nervous energy or overcome the urge to vomit that clamped his stomach into a thousand nautical knots.

“I’m worried about Indigo.”

“I know.” His father’s tone was somber. “But your mother feels it would cause a scandal. She’s used to these kinds of things.”

CJ shook his head. “So you’re more concerned about the reelection?”

There were a lot of things he respected about his old man. He treated the citizens of Highland Beach with the utmost respect. No request from them was too large or too small, and he had a way of empowering people.

CJ also liked the way Daniel treated his mother. He never dismissed Christine and treated her like an equal. Though neither of them outwardly expressed their love, it was clear that his father nursed a steady flame of devotion to his wife. But it was times like these when he would lose himself in loving Christine, leaving his sensibilities behind.

Like now.

“What does Alan think?” CJ respected his father’s adviser, who always observed things objectively.

Daniel snorted. “Alan thinks we should wait until after the election passes. Or go out of town to get... help.”

“Then we’ll go out of town.” CJ jumped at the solution.

“We?” Daniel leaned forward, jamming the cigar into his ashtray.

“Yes, we. I don’t mind coming back on the weekends. And like I said, there are programs where she could live on the grounds.”

“Like an invalid?”

“No. Like someone who needs help around the clock. You and Mother won’t bother to—”

Daniel cut him a sharp look.

“You and Mother can’t,” CJ amended, through clenched teeth. “You can’t move your schedules around to support her.”

He could understand his father, but Christine was another matter. Of course, she chaired foundations and had speaking engagements, but she could always quit. Her daughter should’ve been her top priority.

“Maybe your mother is right.” His father shrugged. “Maybe it’s all just teenage drama.”

“She cuts herself, Dad.”

“You know how kids are these days.”

“Yes, I do.” CJ crossed his arms. “And we weren’t doing that shit growing up. She’s not happy, and she hasn’t been for a long time. She goes high and low, and we’ve always brushed it off as being high-strung, but that isn’t it and you know it. Just like Mother does when she gets into her moods. You and I both know this isn’t normal.”

“Not normal?” He heard a pained whisper from behind.

Both CJ and Daniel snapped their attention to the back door.

“Indigo...” The regret was clear in CJ’s voice.

“Y-you don’t think I’m normal. I... you told me it was okay. You told me everything would be okay.” Indigo’s voice shook with recrimination.

“It will be. I’ll take care of it, I promise.”

“No. You’re just running to Dad. And Dad’s gonna run to Mom, and she’s just going to make me feel even more defective.”

She waved her gauze-laden arms.

CJ stared at the white patches covering up deep cuts on her skin. Some cuts were just a millimeter away from certain death. The sight left him raw.

“Maybe you’re right.” She swiped at the tears streaming down her face. “Maybe I’m not ‘normal,’” she said, using air quotes. “I’m not the perfect robot like you. I can’t pretend to feel something I don’t.”

“What are you talking about?” CJ asked. He moved closer, but she stepped away.

“You love Cindy, but you’re too afraid of wrecking your perfect image. Not once have you introduced her to Mom or Daddy, even though they already know who she is. They keep tabs on everything.”

Misery swirled in his stomach. He had never wanted Cindy to feel less than. CJ glanced at his father, who remained focused on Indigo. Daniel sat still, staring at his daughter as if she were a frightened deer who would dart off from any slight movement.

“And Daddy, maybe I’m not normal like you. Maybe I won’t pretend to not know what’s going on around me. Maybe I should just pretend that ignorance is bliss, huh?”

Daniel pushed himself up from his seat and stood. “I don’t know what you think you know, but before you point fingers,” he said, pointing his own finger at her, “you damn well better know before you go off and ruin people’s lives.”

“Fine.” Indigo nodded. “I’ll get the evidence I need. All of you... all of you are hypocrites. But at least I’m honest.” She thumped her chest. “And if that makes me not normal, then I don’t give a crap.”

She shoved past CJ and Daniel, running down to the beach. CJ stretched out his hands, desperate to catch her. “Indigo, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” CJ called after her.

But Daniel grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “Leave her be, son.”

“It’s late. I’m not leaving her alone.” CJ shrugged off his father’s grip and ran down to the beach.

“Indigo!” he shouted, sprinting down the sandy pathway. His heart was beating as loud as his footsteps.

“Indigo!”

CJ returned to the house. Christine and Daniel sat downstairs.

“I couldn’t find her.” He answered their question before they could ask.

“Well, I’m sure she heard you. I’m sure that... that all of Highland Beach heard you shout her name,” his mother croaked.

Christine’s puffy red eyes betrayed her callous words. But CJ didn’t have time for his mother’s pretense game. Indigo was all alone—and she felt emotionally abandoned, too. CJ didn’t know what to do, but seeing his sister calmly slice her skin with a razor made his blood run cold. What made things worse was Christine’s prior knowledge that Indigo had been cutting herself, and her chalking it up to just teenage rebellion.

“So what if they heard me shouting?” CJ’s voice rose with anger. “Then maybe someone will call if they find her.”

“Calm down... please.” Daniel’s soft voice cut into the thick tension. Then he stood up. “I’m calling the police.”

“Daniel!” Christine gasped. “You don’t have to do that. She’ll be home soon. I know it.”

“Deputy Harris will be discreet. But we need to get ahead of this. If they don’t find her, then we’ll gather volunteers.” He let out a weary sigh. “CJ, do you know any of her friends from school we can call?”

“Yeah, a few.” CJ nodded, nearly kicking himself for not thinking of that sooner. But she’d complained that her friends were being weird and treating her differently. He thought they were jealous of her, but maybe not. Maybe she had pushed them away.

He also remembered her new friend, Bree. “She’s got a new summer friend, too. I met her a few weeks ago.”

“Oh really?” Christine sniffed. “Who are her people?”

CJ stopped himself short from making a sharp reply when he remembered that he’d asked the same thing. He’d snooped around and eventually figured out her last name, Miller. Who gave a damn about family? That was probably why Indigo called him out for hiding his relationship with Cindy from their parents. After they found his sister, he would apologize to Indigo and then formally introduce Cindy to his parents as his girlfriend.

“You two can sleep. I’ll stay down here and listen out,” CJ offered.

“My baby girl is out there. I’m not sleeping,” Daniel replied.

“Neither am I.” Christine clasped her hands together. Her normally crisp peach silk pajamas looked as if they’d been balled up in a corner for a century. “Besides, I want her to look us in the eye and explain why in the hell she caused such a ruckus.”

“No, you won’t.” Daniel waved off her argument.

“Daniel, listen, she’s just being dramatic.”

“No, you need to listen.” He slammed a hand on the table. “When she comes home, we will not argue, we will not yell. We’re going to fix her some food, give her a hug, and talk. All three of us have told her what she needs to do, but have we once asked what she wants or needs?”

“No. She’s a child. We’re her parents,” Christine argued.

Daniel nodded. “I understand that, but she’s a smart girl, and she’ll tell us what she thinks she needs. Simple as that.”

CJ stared at his father with pride. “It’s a good idea, Dad.”

“Well, thank you for talking to me, son. Thank you for helping me see.”

CJ couldn’t get a minute of sleep all night. Fear and adrenaline made for potent insomnia. As an orange sun lit the sky, CJ rose from the sofa where he’d been lying awake through the night and turned to face his dad, who was standing near the door. Christine snored softly, her head resting on the cherrywood dining table.

“She never came back. She... she always comes back,” Daniel whispered. He turned to face CJ. Worry had aged him a decade.

The cold that chilled CJ’s skin seeped down to his bones as Daniel said, “Call the search party.”

It had been twenty-four hours since they’d last seen Indigo. CJ’s father went to the police station to shake down some walls.

CJ stayed with his mother at home, where they sat across from each other at the dining table.

“I... I just don’t understand,” she muttered for the millionth time under her breath. “Why would she do this to me?”

CJ, who hadn’t slept in a little over a day, wanted to roar in his mother’s face. The house phone rang. Christine glanced at her slim watch and stood.

CJ stood. “Sit down, Mother. I’ll get it.”

“No. I have a girlfriend calling me.”

CJ nodded and rubbed the scruff of his neck. He could use a shave, and some space.

He could use a hug from Cindy.

“I’m going out for a drive.”

“Sure you are,” Christine said in a rough, low voice.

CJ didn’t respond but grabbed his keys from the green glass bowl near the door and walked out the door toward his car. He marched across the porch and down the steps, stopping at the last one.

Guilt rooted him to the spot. He shouldn’t put all the blame on Christine. Indigo had been furious with all of them.

And worst of all, she felt betrayed by CJ. He should’ve talked to his parents somewhere else, away from Indigo’s ears.

It’s my fault as much as theirs.

He sighed and turned around, determined to figure things out with his mother. She didn’t need to be on nonspeaking terms with all her kids.

He opened the front door but didn’t find Christine on the phone near the kitchen. He heard her distinctly soprano voice across the hallway in his father’s study. The door had been cracked open.

“It’s a damned mess,” she hissed to her friend on the phone.

“She’s got it in her mind that we’re monsters.”

“I... yes. I told her it’s her imagination. She’s not thinking clearly, and it’s no wonder what she’s been up to.” She sighed, dropping her head into her hand. “I worry about the rumors.”

The rumors. His mother’s words restoked the dying embers of his anger in the pit of his stomach. Her concern was always about the family’s image, not her children’s welfare.

“People will talk. And it’ll ruin Daniel’s—”

“Mother.”

Startled, Christine jumped up, squeezing the green phone in her hand. Red splashed across her cheeks. “W-What... what are you doing snooping on me? I told you I needed privacy.

“Call you back, Al-... Elaine. Yes. I’m fine. Bye.” She slammed the phone into the cradle.

“Who were you talking to?”

“None of your damn business.” She stood with her closed fists on her waist.

CJ shook his head. “You’re always so worried about other people. Not once during the phone conversation did you say, ‘Where is Indigo? I miss Indigo.’”

“Because she’s fine,” his mother yelled through clenched teeth.

“How do you know?”

“Because I know.”

“But how? How. Do. You. Know?”

“There’s no other acceptable option!” Christine shrieked. “Don’t make me imagine the worst. I won’t allow the thought to seep in. I want to believe that all the hairs on my baby girl’s head are safe and accounted for. Because if I let those dark thoughts take over, it’ll destroy me!”

CJ shook from the deep, wrenching pain in her voice.

“Do you understand?” she panted, as if she’d returned from a sprint. She placed a hand over her heart and slid onto Daniel’s office chair.

CJ swallowed. “Okay, I’m sorry. I don’t want to stress you. You can call your friend back since I’m leaving now.”

Before CJ could leave, the house phone rang again. “Hello, Jones residence,” CJ answered.

“It’s me,” his father answered. “We found Indigo. I’m taking her out for breakfast. Can you let your mother know she’s okay?”

CJ felt the tension drain out of his body. He bent over and took a deep breath. “That’s great, Dad. How is Indigo?”

“She’s fine. Sad, but fine. I think some food will lift her spirits.”

“Can I meet you—”

“No.” His dad cut him off. “I’ve got our girl, I promise. Tell your mother now.”

“I will.”

Christine stood by the kitchen entrance.

“Indigo’s fine?”

“Yes. Dad or someone found her. They are grabbing something to eat.”

Christine shook with relief. “Thank God. I’m going to bed. That girl, I swear she’s going to be the death of me.”

CJ waited until he heard her bedroom door shut before he returned to his car and sped to Cindy’s.

When his girlfriend opened the door, he fell into her arms.

“It’s okay. Come here. Come here,” she said in a soothing voice. She somehow shouldered his weight and pulled him into her home. Her bed.

She undressed him, starting with his boots, his socks, and finally his pants.

When CJ lifted his eyebrows, she shook her head. “We’re sleeping. Besides, Mama will be back in an hour.”

“Will she be upset that I’m here?”

She shook her head. “She understands.” Cindy wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Now sleep. It’ll all be better tomorrow.”

He thought Cindy was right when he saw his sister at home the next morning. But when Indigo ran away again, she never returned.