Sums of the Heart (Luv by Numbers #1)

5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Jax

Jackson Delacroix sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with Branford Thomas, lost in the memory of what had brought them to that place in time. That moment in their lives which hardly seemed real as he considered the way it might turn their world upside down.

Kincade Hayes, the new neighbor, was across the hallway changing, and Fiona Porter, who was a friend of Cade’s, was finishing up in the shower in their spare bathroom. She’d barked out a grocery list and disappeared, reminding Jax how glad he was that he wasn’t interested in the fairer sex—particularly women like Fiona, who seemed to believe the world owed them something. Jax only had one woman in his life he owed anything, and it was his mother, Juliette.

Ford was on a call to Fairytails to let Cleveland know he wouldn’t be in that Monday, which was fine because the place was only open as a bar on Mondays. It was typically a slow night, so Ford’s attendance wasn’t necessary. Cleveland was more than qualified to handle anything that came up.

Jax thought back to the urgent phone call he’d received from his partner which had started the ball rolling with Kincade Hayes a week earlier.

Ford had called Jax’s cell and asked him to come straight home instead of going to the gym in the basement to work out because there was something to discuss. Jax had been busy that afternoon with a charity event for the Chicago Breeze, so he hadn’t had his regular workout.

The two men were at a crossroads in their ten-year relationship and neither wanted to let the other go, but things had become difficult since they’d gone to Cabo in the spring and the photos had made it to the gossip rags. Jax was afraid they couldn’t weather that particular shitstorm.

Deep down, Jax had more faith in Ford than himself, and he prayed that his better half—and there was no doubt that Ford was his better half—could figure out a way for the two of them to get beyond the issues they faced in their physical relationship. Jax didn’t want to lose Ford, but they were at an impasse when it came to certain aspects of their lives together. Something had to give, or they’d blow apart.

Jax and Ford had met in college and had become good friends, both trying to find their way around campus and adjust to college life in the dorms before they became housemates. They were both at Tulane: Jax for football and sports medicine while Ford was in business management.

In the beginning, they’d had a few general classes together but then their majors diverged. They stayed friends and later became lovers, though they had one common problem—both were tops. They both enjoyed giving and receiving blow jobs and all the other things involved in sex—with the important exception of anal penetration, which they both loved.

“Look, a lot of guys don’t like anal, Jax. It doesn’t have to be the end of us,” Ford had told him the first time he brought up the fact they might not be physically compatible because, while Jax didn’t like a dick up his ass, he liked putting his up Ford’s.

“I get it but we both like to fuck. It might not be a problem right now, but it’ll be a problem, eventually. Maybe it’s better if we just stop now and stay friends,” Jax had countered.

Branford, not one to give up easily, wouldn’t hear of it then, and Jax was pretty sure he wouldn’t hear of it now.

Every year that passed nudged them another inch apart, and Jax didn’t want them to hate each other or break the strong bond they had established and maintained for years, despite both feeling sexually unsatisfied. There were too many good memories between them to end their relationship.

After the shit in Cabo where a paparazzi with a telephoto lens caught them kissing on the balcony of their villa, Jax had needed Ford’s support, and his man had been there for him in spades.

A week ago, Jax had walked into their apartment to see Ford with a towel around his neck, obviously having been in the gym before Jax had gotten home. Ford was wearing a bright smile that Jax couldn’t interpret, but he was happy to see it.

“I’m here. What’s up?” Jax had asked as he walked over to the sexy blond and engulfed him in his arms, licking the salty moisture from Ford’s neck.

“Hmm… love, you gotta stop. This is important, okay?” Ford’s voice brooked no argument.

The two men pulled away from each other, and Jax saw the excitement in Ford’s eyes and the smile on his face that had won Jax’s heart ten years earlier. Ford had been there to support him during his first few turbulent years with the Chicago Breeze—who hadn’t won a Super Bowl and were putting a lot of pressure on Jax to get them there.

In turn, Jax had supported Ford while he was working as a bartender, and later the bar manager, at a high-end Italian restaurant on the Gold Coast before he opened his own place in Andersonville. Even back then, the sex thing had been a sticking point, but Jax maintained hope they could find a way around it. Thus far, they hadn’t.

Jax had taken a seat at the breakfast bar. “Okay. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I had this odd encounter today when I got home from the club. We have a new neighbor. They finally rented out Diana’s place, but I doubt they told the new tenant the previous one committed suicide by hanging from the showerhead. Anyway, the new guy is gorgeous. He was trying to unlock his door, and he had a box held against the wall by his hip. It started to fall, and I reached for it. I swear, when the guy looked into my eyes, my heart skipped a beat.” Ford’s comment immediately put Jax on edge.

“So, you’re ready to leave me behind for the neighbor guy?” he’d asked, trying not to let jealousy and anger overtake him. If this was how Ford had planned to leave him, it seemed like a shitty plan to tell him with a big smile on his face.

“ No! That’s not it at all. This is unconventional, okay, but the problem we have with our sex life can be solved. We need someone who can smooth our rough edges and be there for both of us Jax. Maybe we need to have a third.”

Ford reached for him, holding his biceps and looking into his eyes. The love Jax saw was unmistakable, but the idea of having someone between them put a knife through his heart.

Jax stood, nearly knocking over the stool where he’d been perched, as the anger consumed him. “You… You want a threesome? You think the solution to the only problem we have in our relationship is to have a three-way with the twink across the hall? You fucker.” Jax was leaving, unable to comprehend the betrayal he was experiencing.

Ford’s hand on his arm stopped him. The man wasn’t holding onto him or putting forth any effort to stop him. It was just a touch, but it had always been Ford’s touch that could stop him in his tracks.

“It’s not that, Jackson, I swear. I love you, and you know that, but we both know there’s something missing. I say, let’s try to find it,” Ford reasoned.

Jax sat down again and had given thought to what his lover was saying. His life was already fucked by the press because of those pictures from Cabo. If he added another guy to the mix, it couldn’t do any more damage—unless the guy was underage. He’d needed to see the neighbor for himself to judge the situation before he said yes or no.

“Let me meet him,” he’d said as he wrapped his arms around Ford and kissed him gently on his soft, pouty lips.

“That’s all I’m asking, love. If you don’t… If it doesn’t work, then we go back to just us, okay? I don’t want to lose you, Jax,” Ford had whispered before he pulled away.

When Jackson had set eyes on the young man’s face later that afternoon on the elevator, quickly noticing the flush of Cade’s cheeks as he looked up at him, he knew what Ford had meant about the heart-skipping-a-beat feeling the younger man had induced. The possibility that maybe a third person in their relationship would be the perfect way to round out things between them had hit him like a bolt of lightning.

Yes, it was unconventional, but Jax was willing to give it a try. He felt a soft spot in his heart for Kincade Hayes from the minute he’d laid eyes on him, and Jax knew for a fact that Ford was a damn good judge of character.

Cade had the potential to fit into their lives like the missing piece of their beautiful puzzle, and until they had all considered their options and reached a decision together , Jax didn’t want to let the young man slip away.

“So, footballer, what’s your plan for young Kincade, and don’t pretend you don’t have one. I see the way you and the blond look at him like he’s the last biscuit in the tin,” Fiona had told Jax while Ford and Kincade went to the store to pick up the ingredients for the dish she was going to prepare for them in thanks for their hospitality. She didn’t seem thankful. He hadn’t heard her come into the house!

Jax chuckled as he grabbed himself a beer from the fridge. It had been a day that called for a cold beer, well, while he had a chance to have one. He had to report to training camp at the end of July so his nightly beers would come to an end. His goal was to have things on solid ground in his personal life before he left Ford and Cade to themselves.

Jax had made the mistake of going out to minicamp at Soldier Field to look at the rookies they’d picked up in the draft and show support for the team by running a few drills with the defensive players. He hadn’t expected to be confronted with the pictures of Ford and him in Cabo. The meeting with the team president and the coach after his impromptu press conference where he outed himself had been far more than just uncomfortable.

“Jackson, son, what the fuck were you thinkin’ by kissin’ a man in public?” Gregory Orr, the team president who represented the owners’ group, asked him. The man was absolutely purple because he was so pissed off, but Jax had already told the reporters he was gay, and the guy in the picture was his partner. Luckily, there was no clear shot of Ford’s face, only his amazing ass.

“Mr. Orr, I’m a gay man, and the guy in the picture is my partner,” Jax explained, not disclosing Ford’s identity.

Jax could tell Orr was about to lose his shit, so he was relieved when Beau Richelieu, the team’s head coach, spoke up. “Let’s not jump to any decisions we’ll regret. Jax, do you think you can keep yourself out of the papers with this man for the season? You’ll be a free agent next year, but can you get through this year without a scandal? You can make decisions for yourself after the end of the season if anybody wants to pick you up, but right now we need ya to focus on the season ahead of us. Will you consider it?” Beau asked. Jax nodded, sealing his fate to remain in the shadows with Ford for at least another nine months.

“So?” Fiona prodded as she poured herself a glass of wine. She’d been hammered that morning, but Jax guessed she’d slept it off over the afternoon and was ready to go in for round two.

“So, I don’t think we know each other well enough to talk about Kincade behind his back. As a matter of fact, I don’t think you know Cade well enough to ask anything about our situation. Let’s talk about you. You have a job in mind goin’ forward? What qualifications do you bring to the table?” Jax asked, changing the subject from their business to hers.

The woman cackled, reminding him why he didn’t have a lot of female friends. “That’s obnoxious. I’d bet my left nut you’re single,” Jax growled at her, having dealt with women like her in the front office of the club or in his agent’s office. They all thought him pretty, but stupid.

Fiona continued to laugh, so Jax moved over to the couch and turned on the television, flipping to ESPN to catch Pardon the Interruption . The commentators were discussing baseball—his least favorite sport—so Jax pretended to pay attention, wondering where Cade and Ford had gone for groceries and why the hell they’d left him alone with the obnoxious woman of unknown origins.

Meanwhile…

“Where would one find pearl onions?” Ford asked as he and Kincade walked around the grocery store with the list Fiona had given them before she sent the two of them on their way. Ford was pretty sure she wanted to have Jax alone to possibly seduce him, and it was all he could do to keep from laughing. Jackson disliked pussy even more than Ford.

“Easiest thing to do is head to the freezer cases. You can get all these vegetables there and make this process a whole lot easier. Do you think Jax is okay with Fiona?” Cade seemed to be a little nervous at the idea of the two of them alone together.

Ford guided the younger man in front of him as they pushed the cart together. He leaned forward and kissed Cade on his cheek. “Jax is safe with Fiona. The bigger question is… Are you safe with me?” The more time he spent with Kincade, the more Ford grew to care for the younger man.

Cade stiffened so Ford backed off. He didn’t want to come on too strong and scare the guy away, but he wanted to get to know Cade better, just as Jax had admitted he wished to do.

If the couple had a chance at making it for the long haul, Ford believed it would be the three of them going forward. It would take time, but Ford Thomas was just as impatient as Jackson Delacroix.

“I’m teasing you. Don’t freak out on me.” Ford moved to stand next to him instead of boxing him in.

Ford glanced down to catch Cade adjusting himself in his shorts before he pulled his T-shirt lower to cover himself. Ford found his fidgeting adorable, like nearly everything about him. “So, um, any ideas about what you’d like to do for the time being regarding a job?”

Cade seemed to think for a minute before turning his beautiful, golden eyes up to meet Ford’s gaze. “I was hoping I could help you out at the club, maybe. I can practice with your dancers if somebody needs a night off, and I can bus tables or help Cleveland behind the bar washing glasses or stocking coolers. I mean, just until I can find something else. You don’t know it, but Fiona has a degree in finance. She’d probably be able to assist you with bookkeeping or something.” Cade spoke so fast it was a wonder Ford could understand him.

Having Kincade work with him would be the answer to a wish, but Ford knew Jax would want equal time with the guy, and with training camp approaching, Jax would be crazy busy. It was best if he put Cade to work at the club—though not as a dancer. Those costumes were too fucking skimpy. If Cade was going to show that much skin, it would be in private with he and Jax as the only men enjoying the view.

As for Fiona, Ford wanted her nowhere near his business. He had, however, remained friends with Franklin Turner, his old boss who owned a high-end restaurant on the Gold Coast named Cap One’s. It was an Italian restaurant with a top-notch chef Ford had considered leaving Jax for at a point in time.

Thankfully, Ford got over the crush before it damaged his relationship permanently. They’d been in a rough patch in their love affair, and René Renault had been extremely hot. He was a Frenchman who was an excellent Italian chef, and he could make a hell of a red sauce.

Ford directed them to the frozen food aisle. “I have a friend who might need Fiona’s services. I used to work for him before I got my shit together and opened the club, and he’s a good boss. I’ll call him tomorrow and see if he has an opening if she’s interested. If she worked for Radcliffe, I’d say she’s more than qualified.

“As for you, sweetheart, I need help at the club. It would be great to have someone who could keep me on my toes and help with scheduling and talent recruitment. I mean, you’ve worked with the dancers, and I know they all like you. You can help with the daily skirmishes that come up among them, which also happens to be the part I hate about owning a club. What do you say? Come to work as my personal assistant?”

Cade paused, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Jax mentioned something about helping him out during the season. Am I going to… I certainly don’t want to come between the two of you, Ford. I like you both. Too much, I’m afraid. I mean, I should just move because…” Cade’s voice trailed off.

Ford pulled out the bags of frozen, mixed vegetables that Fiona had demanded and took Cade by the hand. “None of that. After we get your friend settled, the three of us—and I mean you, Jackson, and me—need to have a serious conversation. For now, don’t make any plans to move anywhere, please.”

When Cade looked at Ford, the younger man’s face lit up with his gorgeous smile as his amber eyes glowed. Ford knew for certain he was sunk. He hoped Jax fell as hard for the younger man because the three of them were destined to be something special.

An hour later, Ford and Cade took the elevator up to 2D, both loaded down with grocery bags. They opened the door and went to the kitchen where they found Jax reclined on the blue chintz couch in the sitting area. He was watching some sort of sports show, listening through headphones. He didn’t seem to notice the two of them enter the apartment.

“Wonder where Fiona is?” Cade asked.

“Go check your place while I put these things away. Just leave the door unlocked.” Cade nodded as left the room.

Ford walked over and poked Jax in the chest, seeing the surprise on his face when he met Ford’s gaze. He removed the headphones and sat up. “Is she gone?”

“Fiona? Where is she?” Ford didn’t want Cade worried about this friend. He wanted the man’s full attention focused on Jax and him.

“She got a phone call, and she walked out onto the balcony. When she came back inside, she was flustered. She waved on her way out.” Jax flipped his hand in a wave.

Ford wasn’t surprised. Jax wasn’t interested in playing nicely with others. He was a fantastic person, but most of the time, he didn’t pay attention to trivial things involving people other than Ford and himself, as Ford had come to learn over the years.

“Where’s Cade?” Jax hopped up from the couch. That one comment gave Ford a rush of hope.

“He’s worried about Fiona. Go over there and see if she’s there while I put things away.” He could usually get Jax to see things his way under most circumstances. For the most part, the large man was pretty docile—unless someone pissed him off. Then, look out.