Sums of the Heart (Luv by Numbers #1)

15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Cade

Kincade was in his studio apartment, gathering his laundry. He’d spent the previous twelve days going back and forth between his apartment and 2D. It was the day of Jax’s photo shoot, and Cade was meeting Jax’s agent, Albert Swift, at the shoot. Cade wondered if it was the guy’s real name, but he’d analyze the situation for himself once he got to the stadium to pick up his particular football player from morning practice.

Preseason was starting on Thursday night, with Chicago hosting Denver. Jax was in football mode, as Ford had explained to him, and after the auction and the lovely night the three of them spent together, everything came to an abrupt halt.

Ford had taken Cade to breakfast on Tuesday morning to explain it to him, but he was still a little confused. How did someone just turn off feelings?

“Last night was amazing, sweetheart, but I want to prepare you for the change to Jax that’s coming. He’s going to withdraw and spend a lot more time at the stadium. He won’t talk a lot, and the lover we both spent last night with will be gone until the team gets into its rhythm.

“It’s weird, and it can hurt feelings, but it’s what we must endure, both of us being in love with a professional athlete. His devotion is to his team in the season, and we’ll just have to adjust.” They shared an omelet and waffles at a pancake restaurant.

Cade thought about the four orgasms he’d enjoyed, one in each of their mouths as they made a daisy chain on the king-sized bed. One as the three of them caressed each other in the large shower, and then one as he took them into his mouth at the same time as he’d dreamed about doing.

Cade came without touching his own cock, and then he passed out between them. It had been glorious. He hated to hear the fun would be over soon.

“What about you and me?” Cade asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Ford wiped his mouth with a napkin and took a sip of his own coffee. “I don’t want to be without you, so we’ll spend time with each other, but I don’t want us to get too far ahead of Jax in our relationship. Maybe we should wait for him to get back to normal before we continue our physical relationship? After the season is underway, his entire demeanor changes. He goes back to being the great guy we care about. Is that something you’re willing to do? Wait for Jax?”

Of course, Cade agreed. He loved them both, but it was almost like a breakup and his heart felt as if it was in a vice. Cade wondered if he’d ever be on steady footing with the two of them. It didn’t feel like it.

There was a knock on his door and when he opened it, Cade was happy to see Minnie Oakes standing there with her hands on her hips. “Laundry call, baby boy.” Cade offered her the basket with a thankful smile.

“You’re amazing, Miss Minnie. Thank you.” He slipped a fifty into her smock pocket and gave a kiss to her cheek.

Jax and Ford paid him a nice salary, and he did his best to spread the wealth when he could. His life had turned out better than he’d imagined it could when he’d lost his job at Triad.

After she took the basket, Cade grabbed the keys to Jax’s Hummer from the counter in his kitchen. Colby Napier had picked the big man up that morning on the way to the stadium. Jax had sent Cade a text to pick him up at ten.

He hopped into the behemoth and prayed he could get to the stadium without wrecking the damn thing. Jax had no need for anything so large in Chicago, in Cade’s opinion, and he planned to voice his opinion about driving anything so environmentally unfriendly… when the big man was in a better mood.

Cade followed the GPS directions and went to the gate at the players’ entrance, showing the pass hanging from the rearview mirror and his driver’s license. Once the guard was satisfied enough to open the gate, Cade drove to the players’ parking lot and hopped out, locking the vehicle—not that he thought anyone would have the guts to steal it.

He waited outside the locker room with a few people… mostly women… until the locker room door opened, and the players emerged. When the defensive line started filing out, Cade perked up because he knew those guys and he liked them.

Denny Walker came out with a bright smile on his face. “Hey, Cade. How’ve you been? I’m headed to Rainbow House for a game day. I’m hosting a badminton tournament, and I need to pick up the shuttle cocks . Get it?” Denny joked with a loud laugh.

Cade joined him in laughter as the two men bumped shoulders. When they pulled away, Denny leaned into Cade’s ear and whispered, “He’s in a mood. Don’t take any of his shit. He’s pissed at himself, and it has nothing to do with you. Jax needs to stop this self-abuse bullshit.”

It was the first Cade had heard about any self-abuse, but when Jax walked out of the locker room, he could see the Cajun’s hands were wrapped, which meant the man had likely punched something hard. Jax wouldn’t hurt him, but Cade didn’t want the man hurting himself.

“Hey, Lucky. Did you get lunch? We can stop and eat.”

Jax exhaled. “I’m supposed to be at the zoo by noon. Albert bitches if I’m late.”

Cade chuckled as he took Jax’s sports bag and hoisted it on his shoulder. “This Albert guy? He gets how big a piece of you?”

“Twenty-five percent, if I remember correctly.” Jax’s frown told Cade the man knew the number to the penny.

Cade nodded, doing the math in his head, based on what he’d read on the internet, not what Jax had told him. “Okay, so you pay him to set up these endorsement things for you and he gets a cut, along with what he makes off you for your contract with the team, is that right? That’s a nice chunk of change. From what I understand, it’s not uncommon for people to be late for things, especially when you’re the talent, Jackson. Let’s get lunch first so you can unwind a little, okay?”

Jax flexed his wrapped hands before he finally nodded. Cade drove them to a great hamburger place near the stadium. They went inside and got a table in a quiet corner. Cade ordered a pitcher of iced tea and turned to Jax. “What happened at practice?”

“I sucked. I missed blocks. I fumbled interceptions. The offense got by me. I’m just… I’m getting too old to do this.” Cade glanced toward the man, seeing Jax’s disappointment on his face.

Cade didn’t hold the laugh. He knew the handsome man was pissed at himself, but he was a remarkable specimen. Jax was far from ready to quit playing football.

“You had a bad day, Lucky. It happens to all of us. You still have four days to get your head… what’s going on? Is it something you’re not telling me?” Cade reached out and took Jax’s hands.

“It’s nothin’.”

The server approached the table, but Cade sent him away. “Jackson Delacroix, tell me the truth. What’s wrong? Is it me and Ford? Are we crowding you? Am I causing a distraction or driving a wedge between the two of you?”

Jax sucked down his glass of tea and poured another from the pitcher. “It’s not that, okay? I got a call this mornin’ from a neighbor in Louisiana that Mama’s in the hospital. She didn’t even fucking call me.” Jax broke down, surprising Cade.

Cade took in the surroundings and snapped for the server. “Check.”

He then pulled out his phone to text Ford.

Come home. We need to go to Louisiana. Jax’s mother is in the hospital. Can you get us a flight?

After he paid for the pitcher of tea, he took Jax out to the Hummer. “Ford’s waiting for us at home. He’s arranging for us to go see your mother. I’ll notify Tony O’Brien you’ll be gone for a few days. Once you figure out her condition, you can decide about the game, Jackson. She’s your mother.”

Cade took Jax’s phone from him and sent a text to Albert Swift, telling him there was a family emergency so the shoot was off. When it started buzzing, Cade turned it off. It wasn’t like Jax was paying attention, anyway.

Two hours later, the three of them were in the first-class lounge at O’Hare. Cade was working the phones to square away commitments Jax and Ford had so they could concentrate on each other. It wasn’t as if he felt like a third wheel, but the two of them had been together for a long time, and he wanted to give them their privacy.

Cade learned a hard lesson when he walked out of the airport in New Orleans. The heat was like descending into hell, and the bugs were as big as blue jays. He kept swatting the damn things away from his head as he went to secure a cab for Jax and Ford while they gathered the luggage. He’d reserved a suite for them at the Ritz on Canal Street, and he wanted to get them settled so Jax could check on his mother.

After the three of them were in the cab, Cade turned to Jax and offered a smile. “I know this is hard, but we’re both here for you, okay? Just tell us what you need, Lucky.”

The redhead wrapped a large arm around Cade’s neck, pulling him close to kiss the top of his head. “I love you, chère.” Jax’s declaration set Cade’s heart aflutter.

Jax turned to Ford and leaned into his ear, whispering something. Ford kissed his lips softly. “Me too, love. Just tell us what you need.” Ford glanced at Cade with a tender smile. They were of the same mind… whatever Jax needed.

Cade and Ford sat in the waiting room while Jax visited his mother. She had cancer, apparently, and hadn’t bothered to tell her only child. Her cancer was stage four, and it was too late for any medical intervention. When Jax learned she’d refused treatment, he was off-the-charts pissed.

“This isn’t going to be good, right?” Cade was nervously sitting next to Ford, wondering what the hell they could do to make the situation better for Jax. Ford shrugged.

“Fuck if I know what this is going to be. Hell, I haven’t heard a word from my family for eleven years. I don’t know who’s dead or alive.” Ford took Cade’s hand and held it, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

“I haven’t heard from my dad in a long time. Wow! I don’t even remember the last time we talked.” Cade drifted back in time, unable to remember the last time he’d seen Hudson.

“ Code Blue! Code Blue! Room three-one-four! ” They both heard the call over the speakers in the hallway.

Cade looked at Ford. “That’s his mother’s room.”

They hurried down the hallway to watch the staff racing with a crash cart. After the health care professionals were inside, Jax was pushed out of the room. Cade and Ford rushed to Jax as he sank to the floor.

The alarm bells sounded from the room as they sat down next to Jax and held his hands, not saying anything. When Jax turned to look at them with tears streaming down his face, they both moved closer to him and held him. Cade couldn’t fathom losing his mother, which reminded him he needed to call her more frequently.

The empathy for Jax’s situation consumed Cade. Losing loved ones was never easy.

Thursday morning found them on a return flight to Chicago. Jax had insisted he was playing, so Cade and Ford didn’t fight him. Mrs. Juliette Delacroix was cremated, and there was a small memorial service at the cemetery where her ashes were interred next to Jax’s father, Pierre. Cade was amazed Jax didn’t shed one tear through the service. Ford glanced at him and shook his head not to say anything, so the younger man bit his tongue.

The cab dropped Jax at the stadium before it took Cade and Ford to their building in Edgewater. After they managed to get the luggage inside on that sultry August afternoon, they stopped to pick up their deliveries.

“So, um, should we go to the game or watch it here at home?” Ford sorted the mail, dropping the junk into the trash can.

“Well, I need to meet Albert about the rescheduling of the zoo photo shoot, because Jax isn’t in the frame of mind to do it right now. Albert’s being a prick about it, calling it a contractual obligation that can’t be skipped. Clearly, he’s never lost a loved one in his life.”

Cade continued. “I have a feeling this game is going to be a bad one, Ford. With the emotions Jax has built up inside himself, he’s going to look for blood, and he might get hurt or hurt someone badly. I don’t think he realizes it, but he’s going to need us, you know?”

“Get your clothes and come over. We can get ready together. I could use a little love myself. Jackson slept on the couch in our hotel room, instead of with me in the bed. I couldn’t sleep all night because of the sting from his rejection. Please don’t let me feel it from you, too,” Ford told him.

Cade’d had his own bedroom in their New Orleans suite, but he’d noticed the blankets and pillow on the couch. Smartly, he’d kept his mouth shut. The two of them had been a couple for a long time before Cade came along. Sometimes, he felt like he was just an add-on, but he wasn’t going to let go of them if they wanted him.

Cade offered a reassuring smile. “No, Bix. Not at all. I’ll be over in a few minutes. He loves you, you know?” Ford nodded as he let himself into the apartment.

Cade went to his dresser and began rifling through his clothes for something to wear. He decided on a pair of jeans and an orange T-shirt with dark blue trim. It wasn’t exactly a team shirt, but it was close. He slipped on his Vans and gathered his phone and keys.

He knocked on 2D, not comfortable using his key. Ford opened the door with an assessing look. “You have a key, sweetheart. Please don’t be like Jackson, forgetting it all the time.”

Cade looked down and took a deep breath. “I’m afraid I’m on sand here, Bix. I’ve fallen in love with both of you quickly, and I always seem to come up short regarding how I should act in certain situations. I guess—” He stumbled over the lump in his throat.

The tears had a mind of their own because he was baffled by how he should feel. Ford had put their relationship back into the friend zone so as not to get ahead of Jax, but the other man didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how Ford felt any longer.

Being dumped once would be dreadful, he was sure, but twice in the same relationship? That was unfathomable.