Surprises on the Scottish Isle (Coorie Castle Crafts #1)

Chapter 23

Tara fled to the boathouse but Calan didn’t follow her. There wasn’t anything left to say. He desperately wanted to comfort her but thought it best not to even try. What good would it do apart from giving her false hope?

He remained on the jetty for quite some time, silent tears trickling down his face as he battled with his grief. Once again, he had pushed away the woman he loved, but there wouldn’t be another chance. He’d been remarkably lucky to have a second one – a third would be impossible. Tara would never trust him again and who could blame her?

When his tears abated, he returned to the cottage, washed his face, and drove to the village.

Yvaine was even less pleased to see him standing on her doorstep than she had been an hour ago. She’d changed out of her work clothes and was wearing a loose-fitting T-shirt and joggers. She looked tired.

‘What do you want, Cal?’

‘To talk to Bonnie.’

She shook her head and sighed. ‘Didn’t we just go over this? The answer is no.’

‘I’ve broken up with Tara.’

The flash of satisfaction in her eyes was brief. She cloaked it quickly, but not before he noticed.

‘Can I tell her that? Please .’

Yvaine shrugged and gestured for him to go inside. ‘Don’t expect her to welcome you with open arms though. She’s been an absolute nightmare today.’

Cal could well imagine. Bonnie was a happy, chatty child on the whole, but when she had her moments, everyone knew about them.

He’d only ventured into Yvaine’s house a handful of times and didn’t feel comfortable poking his head into first the living room and then the kitchen, in his search for his daughter. Both rooms were empty, so he called up the stairs. ‘Bonnie? It’s your dad. Can we talk?’

Yvaine said, ‘Go on up.’

His tread on the stairs sounded loud, and he guessed Bonnie knew he was on his way. Hers was the smaller of the two bedrooms at the front of the house, and he knocked tentatively when he reached her door.

‘Bon-Bon? It’s Dad. Can I come in?’

No answer.

‘Bonnie? Please, I want to explain.’

‘Go away.’

Cal tapped on the door again, then stuck his head around it.

Bonnie was sitting on her bed, her back resting against the headboard, her arms folded. She shot him a venomous look. ‘Go away!’

‘I will, after you hear me out.’

Her chin was jutting out and her eyes were narrowed, but despite her obvious show of temper, he could see she was hurting. It made his heart ache abominably to think he was the cause of her distress.

Pushing his luck, he inched into the room.

Bonnie stared resolutely at the opposite wall and her mouth tightened. At least she didn’t tell him to go away again, so that was something. Cal gratefully took it as a step forward, albeit a tiny one.

He debated whether to risk sitting on the edge of the bed but decided against it. ‘I’m sorry, Bon-Bon.’

‘So you said. And don’t call me that.’

‘Bonnie,’ he amended, sadly. He’d called her Bon-Bon since she was born, and although she’d recently begun telling him off for using the nickname in public, she usually tolerated it when they were on their own.

Cal said, ‘I should never have made such a promise to you.’

‘Duh! Promises should only be made if you intend to keep them.’

‘But that’s the thing, I did intend to keep it. I didn’t break it on purpose.’

She gave him a withering look.

‘It’s the truth,’ he insisted. ‘I didn’t expect to see Tara again.’

Bonnie’s stony expression didn’t change.

‘I used to know her before I met your mum.’

‘So? That doesn’t mean you could break your promise.’

‘No, it doesn’t,’ he replied slowly. ‘But I cared about her very much back then, and when I saw her again I realised I still care about her.’

Was that a chink in Bonnie’s armour, Cal wondered hopefully, as she blinked and her expression turned to one of puzzlement.

Then she let out a gasp and cried, ‘ Princess Tara! The story was about you and her ! I thought you’d made it up.’

‘I… er,’ Cal stammered, taken by surprise. He’d forgotten all about that silly tale.

Bonnie was shaking her head, her expression furious. ‘She was your girlfriend then, wasn’t she?’

‘When I told you that story? No, of course she wasn’t. I hadn’t seen her for years.’

‘I don’t believe you! You’re a liar and I never want to speak to you again. I hate you. I wish you were dead!’

‘Bonnie, little one, please don’t say that. I love you and—’

‘Get out!’ she screeched. ‘I hate you!’

‘You don’t mean it,’ he pleaded.

‘I do. I hate you.’

He really wished she would stop saying that. It stabbed him in the heart every time.

Cal perched on the end of her bed, ignoring her outraged face. ‘I’ve got something to tell you. Tara isn’t my girlfriend any more. I told her I had to put you first and that we couldn’t see each other again.’

Bonnie glared at him, her enraged expression unable to hide the tears in her eyes. ‘I don’t believe you.’

He didn’t blame her. ‘It’s true,’ he insisted.

Bonnie peered up at him from underneath her lashes, her expression as wary as a red deer fawn. ‘Promise?’

‘I promise.’ This time he intended to keep it. And as he’d screwed it up royally with Tara, it shouldn’t be hard.

‘Will you keep it?’

‘Yes. Cross my heart and hope to die.’

She continued to eye him suspiciously. ‘You promise never to see her again?’

Cal sighed. ‘You know I can’t do that. She lives at the castle, remember? And she works there, too. I have to see her and speak to her as part of my job. But, on Nana’s life, Tara will just be a friend from now on, and not my girlfriend.’

‘But you do still like her?’

‘Yes, I do,’ he admitted. ‘I like her a lot, but I like you more.’

‘Like? I thought you said you love me.’ She pouted, but there was a glimmer in her eye.

‘Yeah, I do, I suppose. I have to – I’m your father. It kind of goes with the job.’ He gave an overly dramatic sigh.

Bonnie stuck out her tongue, then gazed at him solemnly. ‘I don’t really hate you.’

‘I know.’

‘I was just disappointed in you.’

‘You had every right to be.’ He was disappointed in himself.

He should never have made such a promise to her, despite believing at the time that it would be one he could easily keep.

‘Calan Fraser, I want a word with you,’ Mhairi called.

Cal had been on his way to the castle’s kitchen to grab a coffee, having been unable to face anything first thing this morning. He’d drunk several drams of whisky last night after he’d made peace with Bonnie, to try to drown his sorrows.

Yvaine had been pragmatic when he’d informed her that Bonnie had forgiven him, and he assumed it was because she’d already inflicted enough damage. She’d got what she’d wanted, clearly not caring how much he was hurting. Revenge was definitely a dish best served cold, as far as his ex-wife was concerned.

‘Calan! I said I want a word.’ Mhairi’s tone was imperious. He had no idea what she wanted to speak to him about, but she’d used his full name, which was most unlike her, so it sounded ominous.

Mhairi was seated at her desk, the parlour door open. Her expression was unreadable. ‘Close the door.’

He did as she instructed, then hovered uncertainly, wondering whether he should sit down. Ordinarily he would take a seat without thinking, but not today. He had a feeling he was about to be hauled over the coals for something, but he couldn’t think what.

‘You look awful,’ Mhairi observed.

Calan felt it. ‘Thanks.’

‘Sit down before you fall down.’

‘I’m OK.’

The look she gave him over the top of her spectacles told him she knew he was lying. ‘Have you had any breakfast?’

He shrugged. He hadn’t, but he thought it best not to tell her as she would insist on knowing why and he didn’t want to lie to her. He hadn’t eaten much yesterday either, and the thought of food made him feel sick.

‘A coffee would be good,’ he said, trying to deflect her.

Not taking her eyes off him, Mhairi rang through for a pot of coffee.

‘What do you want to talk to me about?’ he asked as her stern gaze settled on him once more.

He was anxious to get this impromptu meeting over with so he could lick his wounds in peace. He’d spent the morning avoiding people, only speaking when it was absolutely necessary. Talking was too much of an effort when all he wanted to do was be alone with his thoughts and his broken heart. God knows how Tara must be feeling, and his gut twisted, knowing she must hate him.

He hated himself. But what choice had he had? Tara was the love of his life, but Bonnie was his confused, upset and hurting young daughter. Maybe if Yvaine hadn’t been dragging Bonnie away from her home, her school and her friends, Bonnie would have felt differently about her dad dating.

He would never know.

‘Tara came to see me,’ Mhairi said, when the silence stretched too long.

Cal froze.

‘She wants to relinquish her lease on the studio and the boathouse.’

‘ What? She’s leaving ?’ His stomach clenched and he thought he might throw up. He’d been dreading having to work and live alongside her and not be able to be with her, but her not being at the castle was worse. Way worse.

Mhairi continued, ‘She told me what happened. I must say, Calan, that you are a total and utter numpty.’

There was no need for her to tell him what he already knew. ‘What did you say?’ he choked out, praying that Mhairi had told her that she was in breach of her contract or something. Anything to prevent her leaving.

‘I asked if she would remain until I found a suitable tenant to replace her. I don’t like seeing empty units. It doesn’t create a good impression and it’s bad for business.’

Calan’s world tilted on its axis. He understood Tara’s reasons perfectly, but the thought of her not being here, even though her presence stabbed him in the heart, made him want to beat his chest and howl. He’d only just found her again, and now she was leaving ?

He knew he was being unrealistic, but subconsciously he’d been harbouring a slim hope that they could continue as friends until he managed to make Bonnie see sense.

‘Calan, what were you thinking? I expected better from you.’

‘I know I should never have mixed business with pleasure,’ he muttered. ‘It won’t happen again.’

Mhairi uttered an exasperated sigh. ‘You really are being dim today. I meant I expected you to treat Tara better than you have.’

‘I didn’t have a choice.’

‘Everyone has choices. You decided to allow a nine-year-old girl to make yours for you.’

Calan was astounded. ‘You don’t understand. Bonnie said she never wanted to see me again and Yvaine backed her up. She’s stopped me from seeing Bonnie before, and I couldn’t risk it happening again.’

‘It wouldn’t have lasted.’

‘I couldn’t risk it. Bonnie means everything to me.’

Mhairi’s voice softened. ‘I know, but you can’t let a child dictate your life.’

Cal didn’t want to argue with her, but she’d never had children, so he wasn’t convinced she was the best person to give him parental advice. And although he acknowledged there was an element of truth in what she said, he had made another promise to Bonnie and he wasn’t prepared to break this one.

‘Was there anything else?’ he asked, and when Mhairi shook her head he got to his feet.

‘I take it you’re not staying for coffee?’ she observed.

‘No, thanks. I’ll grab one later.’ He felt Mhairi’s eyes on him as he walked out of the room, their weight as heavy as the lump in his chest.

Tara woke up with a start. After meeting with Mhairi this morning,

she’d hurried back to the boathouse, locked the door and curled up in

bed to cry, but she must have fallen asleep. Having not slept a wink

last night, she’d been exhausted. She still was, but suspected it

stemmed as much from the heaviness in her soul as the weariness in her

body.

The meeting hadn’t gone as she’d expected. Instead of releasing her from her obligations immediately, which was what Tara wanted, Mhairi managed to persuade her to stay until someone else took over the studio.

As soon as another crafter could be found, Tara would be free to go. She fully appreciated why Mhairi didn’t want an empty studio in the craft centre, but how long would it take to find someone to fill her shoes? And what was she supposed to do in the meantime?

Heck, what was she supposed to do when Mhairi did find someone? Tara needed to have somewhere else lined up, but that wouldn’t be easy without a date to work towards. Neither did she have the heart to look for another place to live. How could she, when it was broken beyond repair? But she had to leave Coorie Castle, there was no question of that.

Her mum! That’s what had woken her. She’d been dreaming of her mother’s arms around her. And suddenly she wanted her mum desperately. She picked up her phone and dialled.

‘Hiya, my love. How are you?’ Her mother’s cheery voice brought fresh tears to Tara’s eyes, and for a moment she couldn’t speak.

Her mum said, ‘I can’t hear you, love. The reception is dreadful. Give me a sec and I’ll go outside. I’m in the middle of cleaning the toilet block.’ Tara heard rustling and footsteps, and she hurried to compose herself as her mum came back on the line. ‘There, is that better? Tara? Tara! Can you hear me?’

‘I can hear you, Mum.’

‘Good. I’d thought I’d lost you. How are you, my sweet girl? How’s business? Have you sold your house yet?’

As Tara listened to her mother’s rapid-fire questions, she realised it had been a while since she’d spoken to her. Too long, actually. She’d been so wrapped up in her wonderful new life in Duncoorie, that she’d hardly given her mum more than a passing thought. Sending her the occasional snap of the loch or a photo of her latest doll’s house wasn’t the same as speaking to her.

‘Tara? Are you still there? Drat!’

‘Calan’s back.’ Tara’s voice was small, barely a whisper.

Her mum heard, nevertheless. ‘Calan? Oh .’

The ‘Oh’ spoke volumes. Her mother had seen what a mess Tara had been in when he’d broken up with her all those years ago. Calan was possibly her mother’s least favourite person in the world.

There was an edge to her words as her mum asked, ‘What do you mean “back”?’

Tara, feeling like a total idiot for letting him break her heart a second time, told her mum everything, and at the end of the sad little tale her mum was crying as hard as Tara.

‘You can’t stay there,’ her mum insisted.

‘I have to, for the time being.’

‘No, you don’t.’

‘I can’t leave. What about the lease? And where would I go?’

‘You’ll come to us, of course.’