Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“ W hat was the point of any of that?”
Freya stormed into their room ahead of Nathan, not even knowing how to properly express just how upset with him she was. She didn’t know how to put the feelings that were growing inside her into words.
“Isnae that what we wanted in the first place?” Nathan asked, sounding far too chipper for her liking. She didn’t care for that at all, not when she was so upset with him.
“Nae like that! What is it inside ye that makes ye feel as if ye need tae start a fight at every possible opportunity!” Freya huffed.
Nathan caught the door before it could rebound and hit him in the face. He closed it behind him softly and flipped the latch lock into place before turning to face her. The fact that he was taking his sweet time in getting things done was only serving to fuel her anger just that much further. “I’m at a loss as tae what part ye’re upset about.”
Freya’s eyes widened incredulously. How could he possibly not know what she was upset about? How was it not abundantly obvious? “The whole reason ye were the one playing the cards was because ye didnae want tae see the men get upset with me again… and then ye turn around and start a fight anyway? How was that any different?”
She was trying not to yell, because she knew that raising her voice at him was only going to cause additional problems neither one of them needed right now. She was frustrated enough that nothing they had done thus far had worked. At the same time, she was scared that somehow it was going to work. She had been standing there in the tavern, watching those man rise from their seats and start to raise their voices at Nathan, who was far too calm in that situation. She had watched, feeling ever the more helpless with every passing second, as the men had moved closer to starting a fight with him, knowing that if they joined together maybe even Nathan wouldn’t have been able to fight all of them off. She couldn’t help then, and she didn’t want to do what they were doing without him. The thought of having him unconscious again was a bone deep terror she hadn’t fully realized until now.
“I had everything under control,” Nathan explained with a soft smile. He took a step toward her, his arm lifting to cup her bicep but she pulled away. She didn’t want to allow herself to be so distracted by his proximity that she couldn’t say what was on her mind.
“Ye cannae dae such things! It endangers both our lives fer ye tae let yer temper get the better of ye!”
“Temper?” Nathan shook his head. “That was nothing. It wasnae a fight, it was hardly even a confrontation. The man was almost too drunk tae stand, and he was throwing a tantrum, and that’s all there is tae it.”
“And if they become angry enough to summon their clan soldiers?” Freya asked. It dawned on her then that she didn’t have any idea whose lands they were even in at the moment. She had no idea if they were supposed to ask permission from the laird to be there, but she also didn’t want to keep drawing more and more attention to themselves either. “It just feels like we are getting nowhere, and constantly risking trouble!”
In truth, she was tired of searching. The idea of the pair of them settling down somewhere and attempting an honest living, starting over, was so appealing that every morning, when she woke up and spent her day searching for ghosts of a past neither of them were certain that they even wanted to find, she couldn’t help but wish it would never return to Nathan.
“I’m frustrated by the lack of clues, too, Freya. It is nae just ye.” Nathan admitted, attempting tae take a step toward her again. She moved away, keeping the same arm’s length between them. “But ye ken better than tae accuse me of daeing anything tae endanger yer life. I wouldnae dae such a thing.”
He was hurt, that was hurt in his eyes. She hadn’t meant that she thought he would put her in active danger but she thought it could be a side effect of the actions they took.
“Dae ye think I would ever allow anything tae happen tae ye?” Nathan asked.
He stepped closer. She stepped back, the backs of her legs hitting the edge of the bed. She swayed, but managed to stay upright even though her balance was momentarily compromised.
“I would rather die than allow fer any harm tae come tae ye, Freya,” he added, his voice softer.
There was nowhere else for her to run. She couldn’t meet his gaze, choosing instead to focus on his Adam’s apple, and the way it bobbed when he spoke. “Perhaps it would just be best if we went home.”
Nathan paused. “I dinnae ken where me home is.”
That wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. Why were her feelings so hurt by such a simple answer? It was not as if it were a lie, either. Of course, he couldn’t remember where his home was but she wanted him to think he was home with her. She didn’t care where they settled, she only wanted to be with him. She only wanted to start the life he had been hinting at.
Were those merely empty words? She didn’t want to believe that. He had sounded so sincere when he said it.
Nathan placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face to look at his with a soft smile. “I think ye might be surprised at just how much I would be willing tae dae fer ye, Freya.”
Her heart caught in her throat, emotion forming into a knot in her chest as she fought the urge to cry. Perhaps it was a lie. Perhaps everything that came out of his mouth was a lie but it sounded so real and she wanted nothing more than to believe him. She bit down on her bottom lip, only to have him lift his thumb and pull the soft skin free, tracing over the swell with the pad of his thumb.
There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t take that risk and yet…
Nathan’s free hand snaked around the small of her back, pulling her toward his body into a now familiar embrace that filled her body with warmth. Her heart stuttered erratically in her chest as he lifted her chin, waiting for her to pull away, but she couldn’t. He was so much more than a weak spot now. It was so much more than anything she could have anticipated and her body couldn’t have pulled away even if her mind wanted to.
“I’m sorry fer upsetting ye; let me prove it.”
If he asked her for absolutely anything in that husky tone of voice she would be absolutely powerless but to comply. She hardly attempted to dip her chin into a nod before he was kissing her. Soft and sweet at first, like he was memorizing the feel of her full lips against his own, the kiss deepening slowly as his grip on her tightened. This time, she didn’t feel frozen like she had with their first kiss. She pulled him closer, her hands fisting in his shirt to do so. It was the same thing she had wanted to do when he had pulled the pair of them into that alleyway to hide from the soldiers.
A soft moan left her as his tongue sought permission to enter against her lips, which she happily surrendered to. His tongue danced against her own as his hand indented into her soft skin. This would have been enough; she would have been more than happy to spend the whole rest of the night in his arms, just doing that alone. Freya couldn’t think of a single place she would rather be—but then he was moving her.
He picked her up by her waist, dropping her onto the bed and then pulling her down to the edge. She tried to sit up, to ask him just what it was he thought that he was doing but seeing Nathan drop to his knees in front of her was perhaps the most attractive thing she had ever seen. He was still a good deal taller than most men, even on his knees like this, his hands wrapping around her ankles, massaging the skin there slightly before moving up. Up over the curve of her calf muscle, and she wished desperately that she wasn’t wearing stockings because she longed to feel his skin against her own—but he kept pushing up.
She had never felt so warm in her life, desire pooling in her stomach and creating a slick wetness between her thighs. Would he feel it? Surely, he would—his hands were moving nearer to her thighs, and then he reached the top of her stockings, the layers of her dress bunched up around his arms as he pushed forward. Slowly he inched the fabric higher. Her own sense of modesty almost had her pushing at the skirt to try to keep herself covered, but her desire won out. She pushed up onto her elbows, trying to see what he was doing and trying to remember how to breathe—and then he kissed the inside of her thigh. Freya’s insides melted, pooling deeper as he kissed her again, inching higher toward her sex, to the place she had never been touched before by anybody other than herself. No longer able to think, she could do nothing but focus on the sensations of his thumbs pressing into her inner thigh, massaging higher and higher as his mouth chased his thumbs toward her sex. He parted her, and she collapsed back against the bedding as he coaxed her thighs up onto his shoulders, and she was only too happy to oblige.
Nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of his lips finding her core, his skillful tongue running along the seam of her before delving deeper. Freya’s back arched, and she could have come right out of her skin. She tried to wriggle away, because the notion that such feelings were even possible was overwhelming. But Nathan only held more tightly to her thighs, holding her in place before he truly started his act of gratitude. His tongue delved deeper, probing inside of her and back upward, swirling around the sensitive bundle of nerves in the best possible way before sucking slightly.
Freya’s hand fisted into his hair, pulling with the need to create some distance between the two of them, needing to give herself a moment to think, but Nathan didn’t have mercy on her. His tongue was everything and more as he kissed, licked, and sucked her most intimate of places. Breathless and overheated, her hand pulled his hair, seemingly at war with herself as to whether she should push him away, or pull him closer to her. Her hips developed a mind of their own as she bucked up into his face, and Nathan groaned in pleasure as he feasted, devouring every part of her.
When she touched herself, it was never like this. She hadn’t ever truly been comfortable with it in the first place, but sometimes her mind would simply run away with her.
“Na-” She pleaded, unsure what it was that she was even asking for.
Nathan’s grip on her thighs tightened, almost to the point of bruising as she gyrated against his face, and his tongue never stopped, circling and flicking before he took the bud between his lips and sucked harder. It felt like lightning under her skin.
“Stop holding back,” he commanded into her skin as he licked her, flicking his tongue over the swollen nub and she couldn’t have held anything back if she tried. She surrendered to his touch and she allowed herself to be overrun by sensation. Her breath hitched in her chest as waves of pleasure crested higher and higher, until it was all that she was. No thoughts, no worries, just her and the man between her thighs. “That’s me lass,” he groaned and something inside of her burst at the praise.
Freya’s back bowed upward off the bed, her body seemingly trying to curl around his face as she came, waves bursting and swelling inside of her as her whole body sparked with warmth. It was unlike anything she had ever managed on her own—almost too much. A sudden and total exhaustion pulled her under in the following moment as she panted, collapsing back onto the bed.
Nathan flicked his tongue over her experimentally again, and she felt as if she were spasming; it was too much. He chuckled, but the world around her was starting to feel hazy, like it was slipping in and out of focus as Nathan backed away from her slightly, just enough to look at her and see the way the surge of such intense feeling had overwhelmed her—and she lay basking in the afterglow of her orgasm until sleep claimed her.