Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
BELLA
I’ve called and texted Jax a few times over the last two days, but he hasn’t gotten back to me. I tell myself not to keep reaching out, but I dial his number one more time. When it goes straight to voicemail, I groan and toss my phone onto my bed.
I feel like a clingy AF girlfriend, and I hate it. I’m not one of those girls. I make fun of those girls.
His silence should be message enough. If he wanted to talk, he’d talk. But something in my gut won’t let it go. This isn’t like him. He’s always checked in, even if it was just a quick miss you, baby text. Maybe there’s some club business going down, and he’s caught up in it. Maybe I’m overthinking.
Either way, sitting around waiting for my phone to light up is driving me crazy. So, I throw myself into cleaning. And not just tidying up—I go full deep clean mode . Scrubbing floors, wiping down baseboards, washing every dish in the sink that I could have just put in the damn dishwasher. By the time I’m done, the house is spotless, sparkling, and smells like a mix of lemon and lavender.
I, on the other hand, do not smell amazing. I’m a sweaty wreck.
I’m about to hop in the shower when there’s a knock at the door. My heart jumps and I freeze, staring at the door like there’s a goddamn ghost on the other side. I wipe my hands on my leggings and peek through the peephole. Jax. There’s something different about him. Like his a part of him is gone.
I unlock the door and open it just enough to see him, but not enough to let him in. “Hey,” I murmur, studying him.
“Hey, beautiful,” he says, voice rough. “I tried calling you back, but you didn’t pick up.”
I cross my arms, fighting the way my stomach flutters just from the sight of him. “So you figured you’d just ride over?” It comes out harsher than I mean for it to, but I don’t take it back.
He sighs, rubbing a hand over his jaw. He looks tired . More than tired. He looks worn . “Can I come in?”
I hesitate, then silently step back, letting him inside. But the second the door closes, he’s on me.
Jax slams me against it, his hands gripping my waist, his mouth crashing into mine. The kiss is desperate, hungry, filled with something that borders on need and something darker. His hands slide down to my ass, lifting me easily, and my legs wrap around his waist on instinct.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you, Bells,” he groans, his lips trailing down my neck, his stubble scraping against my skin in a way that makes me shiver.
But just as quickly as I give in, I push him back. “Stop.”
He freezes immediately, setting me down like I weigh nothing, his hands dropping to his sides. His brows pull together. “You okay?”
I nod, but I feel off , like I don’t know where we stand right now. “Yeah… just been cleaning all day. I’m a mess.”
He smirks, that damn sexy half-smile that always gets me. “But you’re my mess.”
I cross my arms, hesitating for only a second before I say, “Am I?” The words slip out before I can stop them, and I instantly regret how uncertain they sound.
His smirk fades, his brows pulling together. “What’s going on?”
I exhale sharply, debating whether I should even bring it up. But I can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t bother me. “I haven’t heard from you in days, Jax. Then you show up here, acting like nothing happened.” I shake my head, pressing my lips together. “What am I supposed to think?”
His jaw tenses, and he drags a hand down his face before meeting my gaze, something unreadable in his eyes. “I had to take care of some club business. It wasn’t something I could put off. By the time I was done, I was wrecked. I crashed, Bella. God’s honest truth.” He takes a step closer, his voice dropping. “But the second I woke up, you were the only person I wanted to see. Before anything, before anyone else. That’s why I’m here.”
The air between us shifts, thick with something heavy, something unspoken but felt in every charged second. His hands flex at his sides before he moves, backing me up against the wall, his palms bracing on either side of my head. He’s close enough that I can feel the heat of his body, the rough edge of his breath brushing against my skin.
“You’re mine, Bella,” he murmurs, his voice like gravel and smoke. “Every fucking inch of you. If you’ve got a problem with that—if this life isn’t what you want—then you better tell me now.”
I swallow hard, my heart hammering in my chest. Because yeah, his world is chaotic. And yeah, I hate the way he disappears without warning. But walking away? Letting him go?
“Are you mine?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
His jaw tics, his eyes dark. “Baby, I’m so fucking yours.”
He leans his forehead against mine, exhaling like he’s been holding something in for too long. Then, his gaze locks onto mine, fierce and unshakable. “You’ve turned my world upside down, Bella. Changed my life in ways I never thought possible. And I’ll never be the same.” He cups my jaw, thumb brushing my cheek. “You and me? I’m in this until my heart stops beating. I’m not asking you to marry me today, but I’m telling you now—I’ll never touch another pussy. You’re it for me.”
His words destroy me, knocking the air from my lungs.
“I want it all and then some,” he continues, his voice thick with emotion. “We’re going to chase our dreams, then make new ones and chase those too.”
I swallow hard, my fingers curling into his shirt. “But you’re going to be in the club while we’re chasing them, right? I’m always going to be on the outside. Never knowing what’s happening.”
Jax’s expression shifts, something guarded settling into his features. “No, I’m never going to tell you all the gritty details. But you don’t need those things in your head, Bella. You don’t need to know the shit I do, the things I’ve seen. But I’ll tell you what I can . If you’re mine.”
I search his eyes, looking for any sign of hesitation, any doubt. There’s none. And I realize, it isn’t even a choice. “I’m yours,” I whisper.
His whole body exhales, relief washing over him. “Fucking finally,” he murmurs before crushing his mouth to mine.
The kiss is hot and wet, stealing every last ounce of air from my lungs. His hands are everywhere, sliding under my shirt, gripping my hips, like he’s trying to memorize every inch of me. One of those hands slides between my wet lips.
“I’m dirty,” I moan against his lips.
He smirks. “Yeah, you are.”
I push at his chest. “I’m serious, I need a shower.”
“Fuck, me too,” he mutters, lifting me again as he strides toward the bathroom.
When we reach the shower, he sets me down, and I turn on the water, steam filling the room almost instantly. Between kisses, we peel off our clothes, our bodies pressing together, heat building between us.
And as we step under the water, I realize I’m not scared anymore. Jax may be chaos. He may be unpredictable, messy, and stubborn as hell. But he’s mine . And I’ll take every part of him, no matter how complicated it gets.
The warm water pours over us, steam curling around our bodies as Jax moves behind me, his chest pressed to my back. His hands are in my hair, fingers threading through the strands as he slowly works in my shampoo.
“You don’t have to do that,” I murmur, my eyes closing as he massages my scalp, his strong fingers working in slow, deliberate circles.
“I want to,” he says simply, his voice rough but steady.
I let out a soft sigh, melting under his touch. I wasn’t expecting this—this level of care, this quiet, intimate moment where he’s just here , grounding me.
He tilts my head back slightly, guiding me under the spray, and the water runs through my hair, rinsing out the lather. His fingers continue working through the strands, making sure every last bit of shampoo is gone before reaching for my conditioner.
“You do this every time you shower?” he asks, spreading it through my hair from root to tip.
I smile, eyes still closed. “Yeah, why?”
He laughs, the vibration of his laughter rolling through my back. “Feels like a whole fucking process.”
I laugh softly. “Self-care, Jax. You should try it sometime.”
His lips press against the side of my neck, and his voice is a low rumble in my ear. “This count?”
A shiver runs through me despite the heat of the water. “Mmm, maybe.”
He turns me slowly, gripping the loofah and lathering it up with my body wash. The scent of vanilla and coconut fills the air as he starts at my collarbone, moving in slow circles over my skin. The rough texture of the loofah mixed with the warmth of his hands sends a ripple of awareness through me, and I let out a slow breath.
His gaze follows the path of his hands, focused, intense, like he’s memorizing every inch of me.
“You don’t have to do this either,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper.
He meets my eyes, his expression unreadable. “I want to,” he says again, his voice quieter this time. “You’re mine. Let me take care of you.”
I swallow hard, nodding once.
He kneels, dragging the loofah down my stomach, over my hips, down my thighs. His hands are steady, strong, and gentle in a way that makes my heart squeeze. He takes his time, working the soap over my legs and my calves, his fingers brushing along the sensitive skin behind my knees, making me moan.
He grins, pressing a kiss to my hip before standing again, sliding his hands around to my back, guiding the loofah over my shoulders, and down my spine. The muscles in my body loosen under his touch.
When he’s satisfied, he tosses the loofah onto the ledge and grabs the bar of soap, rubbing it between his palms before handing it to me.
I take the soap, stepping closer, dragging it over his chest, watching the water glide down the ridges of his muscles. His skin is warm under my hands, solid, unyielding. My fingers trace over his tattoos, the dark ink standing out against the bubbles.
His breath hitches slightly when I move lower, dragging the soap over his stomach, down to his hips. His muscles tense under my touch, and I smirk up at him as I stroke his hard cock.
“You good?” I tease.
His jaw ticks. “You know what you’re doing.”
I tilt my head innocently. “Just washing you, Jax.”
He exhales a sharp breath, grabbing my wrist and pulling me flush against him. “Keep playing, baby, and I’ll have you against this wall in two seconds.”
Heat flares low in my stomach, and I bite my lip. “Maybe I want that.”
He groans, kissing me hard, his hands sliding down my back, gripping my ass, pulling me against him like he can’t get close enough. The water keeps pouring, steam wrapping around us, but all I feel is him . His lips, his hands, the way he’s touching me like I’m the only thing in his world.
Jax turns me around, his hands gripping my hips as he bends me at the waist. The heat from the water is nothing compared to the heat between us. He guides himself inside me, slow at first, stretching me, filling me completely.
“You okay, love?” he murmurs, his voice rough, strained.
“Mmmhmm,” I breathe, my palms pressing flat against the shower wall for support.
His grip tightens as he pulls back, then thrusts in deep. He sets a steady rhythm, each thrust hitting deeper, harder, dragging pleasure through every nerve in my body. He finds a spot that’s never been touched, a spot that makes me scream. “ Oh God, Jax. Right there—don’t stop. ”
He groans, his hands holding me in place, his pace relentless. “ Fuck, baby. I’m never fucking stopping. ”
Jax’s grip on my hips is bruising in the best way, his fingers digging into my skin as he pounds into me, each thrust more powerful than the last. The sound of skin against skin, the rush of water pouring over us, the way he growls my name—it’s too much, just enough, everything all at once.
One. Two. Three more thrusts and I’m shattering around him, my body tightening, pulsing, waves of pleasure rolling through me so intensely I can’t hold back the cry that escapes my lips.
Jax isn’t far behind. His rhythm stutters, a guttural moan ripping from his chest as he thrusts deep one last time, his release spilling inside me, hot and claiming. He slips out of me, pressing his forehead against my shoulder, both of us breathless, tangled in the steam, the water, and each other.
“I love you, Bella,” Jax murmurs against my skin, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to my shoulder. His voice is raw, unguarded, and it sends a shiver down my spine.
I turn to face him, my heart hammering in my chest as I look up at him. “Say it again.”
He cups my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing gently over my cheeks, his dark eyes locked onto mine. “I love you, Bella,” he says, steady and sure, like it’s the simplest truth in the world.
Good thing we’re in the shower, or he might notice the tears gathering in my eyes. I swallow hard, my hands sliding up his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. “I love you too, Jax.”
A slow grin spreads across his face before he kisses me, deep and consuming, like he’s sealing those words between us, making them permanent.