Tamed By You (Always & Forever #2)

40. Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

Ali

He’s here. It takes me a few seconds to register that it’s really him, thanks to the vodka I've been drowning myself in. Gabby is out for the night with Patrick, and I needed to get out of my apartment, so I came to where I knew I would feel safe. Where I would feel a little closer to Harry without being with him. But now he’s here, in front of me, with a murderous look in his eyes.

He takes my hand and I blindly follow, too shocked to speak. He drags me down to his office, my petite legs struggling to keep up, taking four steps for his every two.

He slams the door so hard it makes the picture frames on the wall rattle, and I wince. I’m still clutching my drink, and sensing I need some courage, I down it and slam the glass down on the desk.

“I can slam too, you know,” I sneer.

He braces his hands behind his neck, pacing up and down like a caged animal. “What the fuck has been going on… start talking.”

“Excuse me, you don't get to speak to me like that.”

“I do when you are bringing drugs into my fucking club, Alice, risking my business.”

I still, shocked he knows I asked Brad to keep quiet. Raging and on the defense, I yell, “How the hell do you know about that and, that wasn’t me, that was Cassidy.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” he shouts, swiping the glass I just placed down off the desk, sending it crashing against the wall, shattering into tiny pieces just like my heart.

I wince again, covering my face with my hands.

“Shit,” he huffs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He’s on me, cupping my face in between his calloused hands and my skin tingles at the touch.

Oh, how I’ve missed his touch.

“I just… Ali… what's going on? Things were good, and you left, and you won’t talk to me, and I find out you're out with Cassidy, taking pills and throwing yourself at men.”

My hackles rise. “Throwing myself at men.” I swipe his hands away from my face, stepping back.

How dare he.

“I just saw you with another man’s hands all over you.”

I fold my arms across my chest. My heart thumping so loudly in my ears. “So, I’m a grown woman. I can fuck whoever I want.”

“Fuck, is that what you were gonna do? Fuck him.” I shrug my shoulders like a disobedient child. His face drops, and I am flooded with guilt.

He doesn’t deserve this, but it’s for his own good.

“This isn't you. Why are you doing this?”

I straighten my spine, trying to stand a little taller. “Actually, Harry it is. You are seeing my true colors in all their glory.”

“No, it isn't. I know you, the real you. I saw it in London. You care, you care for me.”

I scoff, “You fucking wish.”

But I do. More than he’ll ever know.

Closing the space between us, his body now pressed firmly to mine I gasp. “You know what I think? I think you got scared, and now you're running. You just need to take a second and really think about the road you’re heading down.”

My body heaves, I’m ready to explode. “I don't take orders from you; I barely take your suggestions. I hate to break it to you, but this is the real me. I don’t do feelings, I warned you, but you and your ego thought you were special, thought you could be the one to break me, well guess fucking what…”

I crane my neck and look up into his midnight blue eyes. Knowing I’ll regret what I’m about to say.

“You can’t break what’s already broken, Harry. This is me. Every fucked-up bit of me. This is what I do. So, save your judgment and your opinions because guess what? I still didn't ask for them.”

His nostrils flare and my body begins to shake as the adrenaline takes over.

“So, London meant nothing to you?”

I shake my head, regretting it instantly, but I keep talking “No, London wasn’t real life. This is real life. It would be easier for the both of us if you got that through that thick head of yours.”

It hurts, those words physically hurt because London was everything and I am trying so damn hard not to beg him to scoop me up in his arms and take me back there with him.

“So, that’s it, we’re done? We’re over? Just like that?”

“What were you expecting? A farewell party? We fucked Harry, we fooled around, that’s it. I didn’t promise you anything. There’s nothing to be over or done with. It was sex, nothing more.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that, that it was just sex?”

“You can believe what you want, but this…” I say, gesturing between us, “is finished. We can go back to hating each other now.” I flick my hair over my shoulder and straighten my dress. “Now, if you can move, I need to get back to my friend out there.”

I brush past him, but he steps in front of me, his large muscular frame blocking me.

“If you think I’m going to let you walk out of here and watch you leave with some scumbag, you are out of your damn mind.”

“Well, unfortunately, you don't get a say in what I do, so move.” I try to shove him but he doesn't budge.

“Harry, move,” I demand.

“No… not till you tell me what going on with you.”

“There's nothing going on. I got bored of you. It ran its course. End of, move on.”

I reach for the door handle just as his large hand grips my shoulder, spinning me to face him and then he presses me against the door.

We are nose to nose, our breathing ragged. My body aches to be held by him. I need him to touch me, but I can't let myself let him. I need to let him go.

“If you believe the crap that just came out of your mouth or expect me to, then you really do have a problem.”

He moves closer, our lips just a breath apart. My eyes flutter shut as I inhale his spicy scent. I press my thighs together to suppress the dull throb between my legs. The need for him nearing on painful.

“You and I will never be done. Do you hear me? You and I are more than sex. I know it, you know it, so whatever bullshit you are feeding yourself, stop it, because this isn't close to being over.”

“Please…” It comes out as a whimper. I blink and a lone tear falls down my cheek. “Please, just let me go.”

His forehead leans against mine; his chest pressing into mine and I want to wrap my arms around him. Instead, I brace my hands either side of me, digging my nails into the hard wood of the door.

“I can't let you go.” His words are barely a whisper as he brushes his nose with mine. I stare at the floor because if I look at him, look into those deep blue eyes, I’ll crumble. I’ll fall into his arms, and I’ll never want to let go.

“Well, you're going to have to.” I shove against him, and he steps back.

I open the door and flee down the corridor, pushing through the back exit to the alley. I clutch the wall, my legs unsteady, pressing my forehead to the rough brick wall. An unbearable pain sears into my gut. One so bad it brings me to my knees. I slide against the brick wall, grazing my palms as I do. It hurt more than I thought it would to see him. To have him just inches away and not touch him. It was more unbearable than I could imagine.

I let myself cry, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Taking a few shaky breaths. I need something to get rid of this agony that’s suffocating me. Rising to my feet, I head back into the club, in search of a drink and someone who can make me forget and treat me how I feel right now… like I’m worthless.