Chapter 8
8
Hume
I rap on Tenley's front door, shuffling from foot to foot. To say I'm nervous would be an iceberg-sized understatement.
Last night's events are the reason why I tossed and turned so much that even little Miss-Sleep-Through-Anything Chewy had had enough, letting out a disgruntled snort before leaving me to sleep in the living room.
It's why I'm on my fourth cup of coffee before eight on a Sunday morning.
It's the reason I can't stay still and have been working in my garden since first light, desperately needing to do something to counter the torrent of emotions last night has unleashed.
Yes, the privilege of kissing Tenley again was incredible, but it was the conversation we had before we kissed that's got me all worked up. It may have started innocently enough, but it soon became clear we weren't having a hypothetical conversation.
These past two weeks have proven that something can be both blissful and torturous at the same time. It's been incredible spending time with Tenley every evening and getting to know each other better. I still have a million more things I'm keen to discover, but it's a solid start.
But the torturous part has been playing the role of a gentleman when, beneath my polite exterior where I keep my hands—and mouth—to myself, I've been aching to touch her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her.
I've been holding back because I figured my age ruled me out of contention, and I never want to be the reason for Tenley not getting everything she wants in life. As much as I want to be with her, I'd sacrifice my own happiness to make sure she never misses out on anything.
But then she said age gaps don't scare her— Even a really big one —and I was a goner.
All night, I've been playing out various scenarios in my head, imagining what a shared future could look like. Heck, I even did the math on if we had kids in the next year or two, how old that'd place me for all the major milestones.
This is no joke for me. I'm that far gone and have probably raced out way too far ahead of what this thing between us could possibly be. That's why I need to see her and find out where she's at. This is the last stop, her last chance to hop off the train before I reach the point of no return.
The door swings open, and my heart wants to burst out of my ribcage at the sight of her in faded denim overalls, holding a paintbrush. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun with lots of loose strands falling onto her shoulders, little splatters of paint coat her arms, and there's even a tiny speck of yellow on her nose.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"I, er…" Okay. That's about as much computing power I have left in my brain at the moment.
She smiles sheepishly and lifts her brush. "I couldn't sleep, so I've been painting since about four am."
I hold up my dirty, earth-sodden hands. "Gardening since sunrise." That actually reminds me of something I have to tell her. Later. After we have a chance to discuss, well… us .
"Wanna come in?"
"Thanks." I step inside and follow her as she leads me to the guest room at the end of the hallway. "Whoa," I say, shielding my eyes as I enter the room. "That is bright."
She giggles. "Every house needs a yellow room."
"To go with the shutters?"
I'm joking, since we haven't discussed what color they would be yet, but Tenley's eyes widen as if I've just come up with the most brilliant idea ever. "That would be ah-mazing. Can you please order yellow shutters?"
I chuckle. "Sure. I'll do it first thing Monday morning."
She places the brush into the paint tray and starts wiping her hands down on her overalls. I cross the floor and secure my hands around her waist. Her gasp fills the air before she latches onto my shoulders. We share a heated look before our mouths collide with an insatiable intensity. All my pent up energy, excitement, anxiousness spills out of me and into this kiss.
I could keep kissing her forever, but when that word forever skitters across my mind, I pull back slowly. If I actually want a chance at forever with her…
"We need to talk," I say, looking around the room for a place to have this conversation. With her hand in mine, I lead her to the built-in alcove by the window. We sit down next to each other, close enough that I can still hold her hand, but with enough space between us to allow us to have a conversation. "I've been doing some thinking."
She nods. "Me, too."
I hesitate, wondering whether I should let her speak first but decide against it. I have to say what's on my mind and in my heart, and once I do, if she rejects me knowing how I feel…well, there are plenty more mountain towns I can flee to.
"I have feelings for you, Tenley. Real, deep, genuine feelings. And I've been trying to push those feelings aside because I've been under the impression that I'm too old for you, that my age was a deal breaker for anything happening with us. But after we spoke last night, I'm…I'm reassessing that." I look her in the eye. "Am I right to be reassessing that?"
She holds my gaze for a moment, then treats me to a warm smile. "You're very right to be reassessing that." A gush of warmth surges through me, but I tamp it down, not wanting to get carried away just yet. "I mean, it's a consideration, of course," she continues before pausing. "I do want to have children. Would you be open to considering that?"
"I would be," I say, exhaling the breath I've been holding the entire time she was speaking, not sure which way she was going. I know one sleepless night doesn't begin to scratch the surface of the details and logistics we'll need to address in the future, but for now, I'm trusting my gut and going with what feels right.
And this couldn't feel any more right.
If Tenley is prepared to give me a chance, I'll do everything in my power to give her whatever her heart desires. Including children.
"So, does this mean I'm your girlfriend?"
My stomach swoops with joy, and I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "It sure does, sweetheart."
She leans in toward me, flashing a smile. "In that case, that makes you my boyfriend."
I wince. "You sure I'm not too old for that word?"
"Nah, it's fine. I mean, yes, you're ooold …" She exaggerates the word, then giggles as she adds, "But I am not calling you my manfriend, that's for sure."
"Boyfriend, it'll have to be, then."
I close the remaining distance between us and fuse my lips to hers. As we kiss, I make a silent pledge. If this thing between Tenley and me turns out to be as right as I know in my heart it is, I'm not going to wait long before I stop calling her my girlfriend…and make her my wife.
I know, I know… Waaay too much, waaay too soon.
As though sensing my runaway thoughts, Chewy bounds into the room, as if to save me from doing something stupid like actually uttering them aloud. Tenley and I break apart, and I take her hand in mine again, Chewy's arrival reminding me of the thing I need to show her.
The three of us go back to my place. To my backyard. To under a certain tree in my backyard. Chewy catches on to what's happening and scampers away.
"What's all this?" Tenley asks.
"Discovered it this morning," I answer before crouching down and sifting through all the scraps of paper a certain someone has been chewing on and bringing to her secret hiding spot.
Tenley kneels down next to me and picks up a piece of relatively un-chewed paper. I watch as she reads my note. Yep. The very note I left her on the porch the day after we met.
"This explains everything," she says, after reading it.
"Tell me about it."
No wonder Tenley didn't get my note, or any of the others I left her. Chewy's been getting to them first and having a field day. I stand and look around for Chewy, but she's conspicuously absent, so I suggest, "How about I help you finish painting the yellowest room to have ever existed, and then I can take my girlfriend out to lunch?"
She grins and slides her soft hand into mine. "I like the sound of that."
As we head back to her place, arms swinging, my happiness is interrupted by a familiar twinge in my ear.
Oh no.
Not now.
I haven't had any pain or dizziness or hearing loss for a few weeks, so I thought that whatever it was had cleared up on its own. I throw up a silent prayer that this is nothing more than a niggle, a slight discomfort that won't escalate to anything more
By the time I'm standing next to Tenley, painting the walls of her guest room, the nausea is back, big time. I feel like I've just done ten back-to-back rollercoaster rides, and the fullness in my ear is making it hard for me to hear what she's saying. I nod and make I'm listening noises every so often, but just remaining upright is proving to be a challenge. The half-painted yellow wall starts to spin.
"Are…you…okay…Hume?"
Tenley's question comes out muffled, my brain spacing the words apart.
She stops painting, and I turn to face her. All three of her. Whoa . "I'm fine. Just got an ear thing."
"An…ear…thing?"
"Yeah. It plays up every once in a while. I'll be fin?—"
My knees give out from under me, and I barely manage to hold onto the wall before my vision blurs completely. The last thing I hear is Tenley scream my name.
And then everything goes black.