Chapter 9
Evangeline
I jolt awake with my heart hammering wildly behind my rib cage, the seat belt the only thing keeping me from leaping forward.
Crap, I must have fallen asleep after we left the shelter. I blink at the window and the winding road toward my new home.
My new home.
My stomach churns at what’s waiting for me behind the gorgeous facade.
Groaning, I rub at my right temple.
My life has turned into a joke.
A fucking joke.
Or maybe a horror show.
Possibly both.
“Something wrong?” Holden slows down as we near the gate and the security post, glancing in the rearview mirror. “You don’t need to puke again, do you?”
I shake my head. “I’m good. ”
That’s all I say because Holden doesn’t actually care about anything other than me not making a mess of the car.
He’s barely spoken to me all day, just a quiet shadow in the background. A constant reminder of my new situation.
The only saving grace I was granted was that Monday is the only day I don’t have any classes with my friends, so I could go as unnoticed as possible in the back of my lectures and feign a migraine when someone approached me.
Tomorrow will look very different. Tyler shouldn’t be a problem once he can see for himself I’m okay. Hopefully. But there will be no escaping Ruby or Mason. I’m sure by now there will be dozens of missed phone calls and messages waiting for me from the two of them. I haven’t been able to check because, of course, in my hurry to get out of the house this morning, and as far away as possible from Phoenix, I forgot my phone. They’re probably out of their mind with worry. I just hope they didn’t do anything hasty, like show up on Phoenix’s doorstep or something like that.
That also meant I couldn’t call the shelter and get out of volunteering without leaving them one person short. Not that I wanted to, but I expected Holden to throw a fit. Weirdly enough, he didn’t.
Due to his size, they didn’t want him out in the front where the women would see him, so he helped in the kitchen with me since I like to stay out of sight in the back too. I’m just glad I had enough brain cells left this morning to grab a scarf on the way out, or today might have gone very differently. I only got a quick peek at my throat in the bathroom earlier, but there’s no denying someone had their hands around my neck and squeezed.
Just as I’d expected .
I should feel disgusted and angry about what happened, but there’s this little voice in the very back of my head that has been yelling the most random things at me all day long, probably playing a huge role in the massive headache I have.
You deserve whatever Phoenix throws your way.
Why didn’t he squeeze harder and finally put you out of your misery?
Don’t pretend you didn’t like it. It’s been years since you felt this alive.
The first two don’t surprise me; they are pretty much regular thoughts at this point. But the third one did throw me for a bit. I might not like this situation with Phoenix, but I can’t deny I felt something when he had his hand around my neck. Not in a sexual way like I’ve read about in books, but more so in a way that had all my worries go away.
In those minutes where he slowly increased the pressure on my windpipe, this strange sense of peace and freedom spread through me. The spot in my heart that has been filled with nothing but dread, fear, death, and constant anxiety for so many years now was suddenly quiet. So quiet that for a blissful moment, there was enough room for me to feel the energy, vibrancy, and excitement of being alive. But just as fast as it appeared, it was gone again.
The more I think about it, the less it makes sense, and I’m glad I don’t have to share these thoughts with anyone. Someone would probably admit me to a mental hospital.
Nevertheless, it has made me very tired of feeling the way I’ve been feeling the last few years, more so than before. And since I had all day long to think about all of my depraved thoughts, I’ve also come to the conclusion that just because I’m stuck in this unfortunate situation at the moment, it doesn’t mean I have to for the rest of my life. I just need to figure out what this new life of mine entails and then play my cards right when the time comes.
I sense Holden’s gaze on me and clear my throat.
“Thanks for helping out at the shelter. That was very nice of you.” And I mean it too. He didn’t have to, and extra hands are always appreciated.
The rows of trees on either side of the road gently sway in the breeze as we drive by. It’s easier to focus on them than on Holden. I’m sure his name is right below Phoenix’s on the list of people who’d like to kill me, seeing as he’s Phoenix’s right-hand man. Although, he did save me this morning.
“How did you end up volunteering there?”
With my gaze on the greenery outside, I think back to that day I met Doreen, the woman running the shelter. “I wasn’t . . . you know, I wasn’t in a good place after my sister died and everything happened with Phoenix. I felt like I was suffocating at home, so I wandered around the city for hours. I didn’t have a clear goal in mind. I just knew I was looking for something.
“One day, a storm blew in when I was miles away from home. I walked past the shelter and recognized the name from one of the charity galas I’d been to. I stopped and stood there, completely drenched, until an older woman ran out to drag me inside. She took care of me. Gave me some dry clothes and a hot meal. She didn’t know me or know if I was rich or homeless, yet she cared more for me than most people ever had. I wanted to help her help others, and with more than just a check.”
Holden parks in the garage, the gray Mercedes fitting right in with the other expensive cars.
He opens my door and studies me. “Let me guess, Doreen?”
I nod.
After closing the door behind me, he strides toward the entrance that leads into the mudroom. “Boss wants to see you.”
I follow him without replying because, of course, Phoenix wants to see me. I didn’t think we were done after what happened this morning.
I’m still wondering if he would have finished the job if Holden hadn’t intervened. His dark gaze and the pure hatred in it has me leaning toward yes. At the very least, he wanted to.
“Princess.”
Holden’s voice brings me back to reality.
I’d tailed him like a lost puppy through the maze of hallways and stairs without paying attention to where we were going.
To my surprise, the door he holds open takes us outside.
He must see the confusion on my face because he says, “Gym.”
“The gym is outside?” I step onto the pebble pathway leading away from the house.
“Different building.” He points toward a black rectangular structure on one side of the vast grounds.
Loud music greets us when we enter. This place must be soundproof because I didn’t hear a thing from outside.
I pause and take in the ample space that resembles a state-of-the-art gym. One side has more workout gear and machines than I even knew existed, and the other one houses a boxing ring and mats .
The music abruptly stops, snapping my attention to the man approaching us—the half-naked man.
Phoenix strolls over with a water bottle in his hand and his black shorts sitting so low on his hips the waistband of his underwear peeks out. Right below the narrow line of dark hair that disappears behind said waistband.
My gaze travels up his muscular abs and chest, momentarily stopping when something shiny glints in the light—a nipple piercing on his right pec.
I falter for a moment when I see a compass tattoo right above his heart, but that can’t be right. No way. I must be seeing things. Why would he ever mark his skin with that permanently?
Fully aware I’m staring, I swallow and drag my gaze up to meet his.
He stops a few feet before us, grabs his shirt from the bench next to us, and puts it on. I continue to stare at him like he’s some mystical creature while also trying to ignore any reaction my body might have to him.
Because no, I’m most definitely not blind, and beauty doesn’t seem to have an asshole meter. Even psychos and assholes can look like they were carved from marble.
The one standing in front of me gives me a cocky smirk, probably knowing what he’s doing to me. But I’m not the only one checking the other one out. Phoenix’s gaze flicks down my body so lazily, and with such open appreciation, it almost feels like a phantom touch. A low buzz fills my veins with every inch his gaze travels. The same weightless euphoria as this morning sings in my body, sending me a little dizzy. It’s so compelling, I can’t resist it. Nor do I want to .
Holden clears his throat. “You okay, man?”
Crap. I totally forgot he was still here.
I don’t look at him, but Phoenix turns his way and nods.
Holden sighs. “Good, because I need a shower and to get rid of this food smell.”
I wrinkle my nose because what is he talking about? I don’t smell anything. Maybe it’s because I’m used to the smell of food from the shelter? I’ve been helping there for so long, I barely even register anything when I enter the building.
Something touches my arm, and I jerk, blinking several times.
I seriously have to stop zoning out so much.
Phoenix is much closer than before, and Holden is nowhere to be seen.
Great.
Yet again, alone with the devil.
Not the same kind of devil like Freddy, but one nonetheless. They’re both trying to ruin my life, just in different ways. One has already done a decent job, destroying several lives along the way, while the other one is just getting started.
“About this morning.” Phoenix brushes his fingers through his damp hair, his gaze moving down my throat. “I went too far, and it won’t happen again.”
Not exactly an apology, but close enough, I suppose.
I can still feel his hand around my throat, each finger biting into my skin as my air supply slowly dwindled.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Did you hear what I said?”
I just stand there like a total moron and nod.
Because how am I supposed to reply to that? I won’t thank him for attempting to act like a civilized human and not kill me.
Bummer he didn’t finish the job, isn’t it?
There’s that crazy thought again.
Would he feel bad, or guilty, if he’d actually killed me this morning? Without regard to if it was done by accident or on purpose?
I can’t figure out what that would have made him in my life. Would he have been the villain of my story, or would he have been my salvation after all, just not in the way either one of us could have ever predicted?
The backs of my eyes burn, but I’m not sure anymore if it’s because he almost ended my life or because he didn’t.
This whole time, Phoenix stares at me, the frown on his face etching deeper into his skin.
Maybe he’s starting to see what a nutcase you are.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I’m not sure anymore what’s better.
He probably thought he’d get a “well-trained” socialite princess as a future wife, someone like my sister. Instead, he ended up with me.
Too bad I didn’t come with a warranty.
Phoenix grabs my arm and pulls me with him. “Come on, we need to finish our conversation from this morning.”
We head out of the building and back into the main house. Up a flight of stairs and a few turns toward his wing, and we enter a large office that screams masculinity with its dark wooden furniture and leather scent in the air.
Phoenix deposits me in front of an oversized armchair and says, “Sit. ”
I humor him and listen.
He moves around the spacious desk and sits behind it.
He’s a living visual contradiction in his gym clothes with sweat glistening on his skin, sitting behind the executive desk in this grand office. It’s almost like a child playing dress-up.
The computer screen illuminates his elegant features as he ignores me and stares at whatever is in front of him.
A mechanical crackling sounds from all around me.
“Nine-one-one. What’s your emergency?” The female voice echoes around the room.
All life drains out of me.
Despite knowing exactly what’s coming next, my heart still goes into overdrive, and I can’t stop it.
“A man is being held hostage in the 2338 West Forrest Avenue warehouse. Come quickly.” My voice sounds shaky but is easily identifiable.
I’ve often wondered why I didn’t think to muffle it somehow.
Probably because you were scared shitless and your brain didn’t work right.
I made the call mere minutes after I’d heard the news from my father.
“Evangeline, your sister was in a car accident. She didn’t make it.”
Just like that. He’d patted my shoulder once, then left my room.
A text message came moments after.
Freddy
See what you did, pet? Maybe you should have done what I asked you to do the first time. Now, make the call. A man is being held hostage in the 2338 West Forrest Avenue warehouse.
A single tear runs down my face.
I killed my sister. I’m the reason her car crashed that night. Someone tampered with it because I thought the person sending me text messages was just some idiot playing games. Never in a million years did I think he’d go through with it and hurt someone I loved. Not just hurt, but kill.
The tear slips off my chin and onto my lap. I watch the moisture seep into my pants, disappearing into the material like it’s not a part of me anymore. I wish the pain and sorrow would disappear alongside it, instead of always staying behind.
“How did you know about the guy and where he was?” Phoenix’s voice is calm enough that I look up.
I can’t tell him what happened; Freddy made sure of that almost immediately after he’d killed my sister. The text message he sent all those years ago still haunts me.
Freddy
If you ever tell anyone about my messages, Ruby will be next. Then Mason, Tyler, and the rest of your family.
I’ve already lost one person I love to Freddy. I can’t lose another one.
Not to mention, I have no proof. Every single message he’s sent vanished. And for good reason. A few weeks after my sister died, I had a terrible nightmare and wandered around the house to calm down. I ran into my dad in the kitchen and broke down, telling him about what had happened.
When he’d asked me if I had proof, and I told him about the vanishing messages, he’d finished the rest of his whiskey, stared me straight in the eye, and said, “Stop trying to gain attention by spreading ridiculous lies like this. It only makes you look pathetic.” And then he’d just left.
Phoenix clenches his jaw at my silence and slams his hand on the desk. “Damn it, Evangeline.”
I jump.
Phoenix shakes his head at me and paces behind the desk. The vein on his temple pulses furiously. “Why would you make a call to incriminate me, have me locked up for three years, and then refuse to tell me why? It makes no sense. None of this does.”
I don’t reply because what can I possibly say to that? Of course, he’s right. It can’t make sense to him.
Just like it still makes no sense to me why some random psychopath chose me as their human torture device, forcing me to do things I never thought in a million years I’d do.
Because life can be cruel sometimes, and all we can do is try our best to make it through.
One day at a time.
One moment at a time.
And I’ll get through this mess, too, because people depend on me.
An epiphany hits me then, and my entire being sags in relief. I can handle whatever Phoenix has in store for me because nothing he’ll do to me could possibly be worse than what Freddy would do or has already done.
While I completely understand Phoenix’s confusion and anger toward me, and don’t fault him at all for wanting to understand the situation, it still doesn’t erase the fact that before he ever went to prison, he ripped my heart into so many pieces, it never quite fit back together right.
And I’m tired of being everyone’s punching bag. So damn tired.
With my hands interlaced in my lap, I meet Phoenix’s steely gaze and school my expression into a neutral one. “You said something about rules?”