21. Evangeline
Chapter 21
Evangeline
M y mouth and throat are as dry as the desert, my lips cracked, and I wince at the sting in the corner of my mouth. The movement is minuscule at best, but it’s enough to take the atrocious pounding in my head to another level. I squeeze my eyelids together even tighter.
The hammering is so intense, I can barely think past it.
And why am I so dang hot?
A bead of sweat runs down my nape, and I lift my hand to wipe it away while trying to pry my heavy eyelids open. They feel like they weigh fifty pounds each, and I settle on opening one eyelid halfway to start. It’s probably better for my headache anyway.
My hand pauses halfway in the air. Not just because something is painfully tugging at it but also because of the sight in front of me.
It’s Phoenix. Phoenix . He’s sleeping only a few inches away from me .
My heart kicks into overdrive, forcing my brain to push the memories past the wall of pain.
Me on Phoenix’s lap in his office. Getting ready for another gala event with my fiancé. The text message. The car bomb.
A sob breaks through my throat, scratching the walls along the way.
Phoenix’s eyes fly open in alarm.
“You’re okay.” The words rush out of my mouth, followed by another sob.
“Shh, baby.” Phoenix cradles my face, his thumb caressing my cheek in soothing strokes.
I sink into his touch and move toward him. I need more. He closes the distance between us when he sees I’m struggling and gently wraps his arm around me.
More sobs rack my body as I try to understand what happened and that we’re both here. Both alive, both well. At least as well as anyone can be after an explosion went off mere feet away from them.
I bury my face in his chest and shut my eyes, letting all the emotions run their course while he holds me. And he lets me, rubbing soothing circles across my back, murmuring something I can’t quite make out.
Despite everything that happened, I feel safe in this cocoon.
He saved you.
Memories of me running out of the house rush through my head, yelling at Phoenix, wanting him to run. Did I push him? Did I throw myself at him? I’m trying to remember, but my brain is fuzzy.
He grabbed me and ran until the explosion went off .
The explosion.
A real bomb.
Freddy .
He tried to kill Phoenix and almost killed both of us.
“Hold?” The name is a croak, but it must be enough.
Something soft presses against my forehead, like Phoenix just kissed it.
For some reason, that has more tears gathering in my eyes.
“He was still far enough behind you when the explosion went off. He’s irritated he couldn’t save anyone but unharmed.”
“Thank God.” I release a loud breath, my chest lighter at that knowledge.
I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else getting hurt.
I can’t be.
Too late for that, considering where you’re at, isn’t it?
I take in Phoenix again, this time more properly. There’s a bandage on his forehead.
“You got hurt.” It’s not a question but a statement.
Unsurprisingly, he shrugs. “Just a few scratches.”
I lift my hand toward his face, wanting to make sure he’s okay, even though I know touching his face won’t make a difference. But I don’t get far, the stinging pain near my wrist returning, and I glare at the IV.
His eyebrows draw together at my wince. “Please don’t. You’re already hurt enough after what you did.”
After what I did.
When I got the text message, I acted without thinking about the possible consequences. All I could think about was saving Phoenix. Nothing else mattered. But now, there’s this enormous elephant in the room with us.
I close my eyes, shutting out the questions in his. I’m sure he has lots of them. And at the moment, I don’t see a way out for myself. What plausible excuse could I have for knowing about the bomb without telling him the truth? Without telling him about the messages? About Freddy?
Sure, I could say nothing, but he wouldn’t believe me. I think he’s already suspicious about my nine-one-one call as it is. Now this? He won’t leave it alone until I tell him.
Do you want to tell him?
This whole situation with Freddy has been eating at my soul for years, slowly disintegrating me from the inside out.
Message by message.
Terrible thing by terrible thing.
Phoenix’s warm hand moves over my cheek and down my throat to rest on my pulse point there. His touch is a soothing balm to my soul and the only thing that keeps me tethered to this world.
His breathing is uneven, and I open my eyes at his next harsh exhale.
I almost wish I hadn’t.
The expression in his eyes twists something in my stomach. It’s raw and laced with emotions I’m not sure I’ve ever seen in him. Or anyone else, really. A vulnerability that feels like a knife to my sternum, ready to cut me wide open. For a moment, I imagine baring myself to him, letting him see all of the darkness and ugliness inside me. I can’t help but wonder what would be worse: if he rejected me because it’s so abhorrent or if he didn’t .
And isn’t that my answer right there? Because yes, deep down, I want to tell him. I want to tell him everything.
“Why did you do it?” He swallows. “Why did you save me?”
The question comes out quiet and shaky, a total contradiction to the unspoken words floating around us. They’re his unspoken words, loud and stifling, trying to wrap a noose around my throat.
You could have let me die.
You could have escaped this life you so clearly don’t want.
You could have gotten rid of your fiancé without lifting a finger.
You could have had the life you wanted.
Little does he know my life was already in shambles before he ever returned to it.
He isn’t the detriment to my life he thinks he is, far from it.
And he didn’t die.
Freddy didn’t kill Phoenix like my sister.
Gripping his arm tightly, I tell him the truth. “I saved you because I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Angel.” He says my nickname like a prayer, his voice shaky, pleading.
Then he leans in and presses his lips to mine. The barest touch. It’s so tender it’s almost too much.
My heart squeezes so tightly in my chest it steals my breath.
“I’m so sorry, Phoenix. I’m so sorry.” The pain behind my rib cage is almost unbearable, the weight of this entire situation, of my life for the past few years, squeezing my soul mercilessly. “I want to tell you, I really do. ”
Phoenix pulls me back, and I relax in his warm embrace. With my head against his chest, I cry until I have no tears left.
Soft murmurs filter into my sleepy state, but the voice is still too far away to make out anything.
I swallow, immediately regretting it with my dry throat. The sound I make is something I’d imagine a dying frog makes.
“She’s awake. I’ll call you back.”
The voice is louder now. Clear and urgent. Phoenix.
I squint at him through one eye, grateful when there’s only a dull thrumming in my skull this time.
Phoenix leaves his spot by the window and makes his way toward me. “Sorry if I woke you up.”
“Water,” is all I manage to get out.
But he beats me to it, already holding a straw cup in his hand.
“Let me get you up first.” He pushes a button on the side of the bed, and the upper half quietly whirrs up until I’m almost sitting.
When satisfied, he lets go of the button and lifts the cup to my mouth.
“Slowly. Just a few sips.” His gaze is on my mouth as if he’s ready to yank the cup away if I try to empty the whole thing in one go. “I already got a scolding from the nurse because I didn’t get you any water earlier. Trust me, we don’t want to get on her bad side any more than we already are. ”
One corner of his mouth ticks up, but it’s more grimace than smile.
The water soothes the ache in my throat, and I keep drinking until Phoenix pulls it away with a chuckle. This time, it’s genuine, and I automatically smile back as warmth spreads behind my rib cage.
There’s a knock at the door before it opens, but my brain is still stuck on how Phoenix and I just smiled at each other.
Really smiled at each other.
Like we used to.
“I told you to let me know when she wakes up this time.”
The firm voice drags my attention to the nurse walking toward me. She appears to be around my parents’ age, but despite the sternness in her voice, she gives me a warm smile.
Her name tag says Cynthia.
“How are you feeling, sweetie?”
I take a moment to do a self-assessment. “Okay, I guess?”
She regards me. “Any pain?”
“I feel like half of my body is covered in bruises, but at least my head doesn’t hurt as much as earlier.”
She nods as if she suspected as much. “All in all, it sounds like you both got away fairly unscathed, considering the circumstances. Your head will likely hurt for a while, but your concussion is mild, so that’s good. Rest and proper hydration are very important, especially in the next couple of days. It’s pretty normal that physical activity, as well as any kind of screen time, reading, or listening to music can make symptoms worse, the same with loud sounds and bright lights. So let’s avoid those for now. After two days, you can go back to light activities, but still keep it easy on the rest for the next week or two.”
I process the information and nod. “So basically do nothing but sleep for the next two days?”
The machine next to the bed beeps, and she turns toward it with a chuckle to push a few buttons. “In a nutshell, yes. Rest, water, and healthy food. Then keep things easy and avoid anything that makes your symptoms worse.”
She takes some notes and gives me a reassuring smile. “But your vitals are good, so hopefully your recovery will be on the short side. I’m going to let the doctor know you’re awake.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. I’ll be back soon with more to drink and something to eat.”
She leaves the room, and Phoenix comes to the bed.
“Hold is at the house. Is there anything you want him to bring?”
It’s such a mundane question.
Do I need anything? Because I’m at the dang hospital.
When is someone stopping by to tell me all of this was just a dream? And in reality, I’m having a great time at college where I live a perfectly normal life with my friends and even have a boyfriend. Maybe Phoenix and I found our way to each other when we were younger, after all.
How utterly ridiculous and contradictory to how things actually played out.
“Eve?”
Phoenix’s brows draw together. He looks me over, but instead of the anger or irritation I expect to see, it’s worry .
He gives me a gentle smile. “It’s okay if you don’t need anything. Hopefully, you can go home tomorrow anyway.”
“Sorry.” I shake my head and wince at the pain. “My head is a little slow right now, but some comfy clothes would be nice. Something baggy?”
“Sure. I’ll let him know.”
“Thanks.” I take a deep breath. “I . . . I’m still trying to process what happened. It feels so surreal.”
He touches my fingertips with his at the edge of the bed. “Don’t worry about any of this. I will find the bastard who did this and end him, and that’s all you need to know right now while you rest.”
I try to suppress a shiver, but it’s pointless, and Phoenix pulls my blanket higher.
“Let me message Hold before I forget it.”
He taps on his phone screen, and I stare at it, my heart beating wildly behind my rib cage.
Oh my God. I’m so stupid.
“Phoenix, where’s my phone?” The first tendrils of panic slither through my body, and my breathing turns erratic. I stretch, glancing everywhere. “Shit, where is it? I . . . I need it.”
Freddy .
What if he messaged again after the accident?
What if he did something to Ruby like he threatened so many times before?
And I’m here, completely clueless.
Phoenix’s face appears right in front of mine, and his big hands cup my face. “Hey, shh. Eyes on me. Now take a deep breath. I’ve got you.”
I nod, trying to match my breathing to his .
It takes the edge off my panic but doesn’t entirely go away.
Phoenix sits on the edge of the mattress, taking both of my hands in his. “Your phone broke during the explosion, but Hold is working on transferring everything to a new one.”
With my lips pressed together, I nod. “Okay, thank you.”
He squeezes my hands. “Of course. Plus, you heard the nurse: no screen time for the next two days.”
I chew on my lip, trying to come up with something to say that would make sense. “I know, I just need to check something quick and then I’ll stay off it, promise.”
He narrows his eyes at me but nods. “I already contacted your parents, and Hold said he’d let Ruby and Mason know what happened. I’ll message them again to let them know you’re okay but on a phone ban for the next two days, okay?”
I try to ignore the growing ball of worry in my chest and nod. “Thank you. I’m sure they’re worried.”
“Consider it done. I’ll also get in touch with the school to figure out a plan for the next few weeks. I’m sure we can find a way to switch your classes online for the time being.”
School wasn’t even on my mind, but I’m glad he thought about it.
I whisper another, “Thank you,” just as there’s a knock at the door and it opens.
A tall man strolls in with a tablet in his hand. “Hey, I’m Dr. Chris. Good to see you awake, Miss Caldwell.” He swings his gaze in Phoenix’s direction. “How’s your back? I told the nurses to give you some pain medicine if it’s too much.”
Phoenix sighs. “I’m fine.”
The doctor lifts his hands in a calming gesture. “I just wanted you to know there are options.”
Phoenix nods and turns toward me, and the doctor gets the cue.
I’m still stuck on how Phoenix’s injuries seem bad enough for the doctor to think it warrants pain medicine, and the fact Phoenix didn’t tell me about it.
“Now, to you, Miss Caldwell.” He taps his tablet before peeking at the monitor next to me. “You suffered a mild concussion from the hit you took to the ground. The minor cuts should heal on their own, so no stitches for you. You will probably be sore for a while from the bruising. You both took the brunt with your backsides, one more than the other. Other than that, you’re as good as new. And I’m happy you’re still with us, both of you.”
I try to smile at him, but my mouth doesn’t want to work, no matter how much I try to tug it up in the corners.
I think it’ll take some time to fully grasp I almost died.
The doctor goes over the dos and don’ts of treating a concussion again, but I only half listen. Eventually, he leaves, and the nurse returns with a small wagon in tow. I catch sight of a familiar black package next to the food tray. My body tenses immediately. It can’t be.
Cynthia brings it over with a smile. “Someone had these flowers delivered for you.”